Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Amy Winehouse And Mitch To Record Musical?
IS Amy Winehosuse tiring of Mitch, her dad who Amy’s dad, everyone, moving on from telling us about his daughter’s “fantastic” breasts and knickers?
Writes Amy Wino on Twitter:
“WHY don’t my dad WRITE a SONG when something bothers him instead of going on national tv?”
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Snooki’s ‘Fist Pumping’ Gig: In Pictures
NICOLE Polizzi is known to gosspers as Snooki, neon-hued, thong flashing, short and bumptious star of the Jersey Shore TV shows.
Last month Anorak’s Man in LA reported that you could hire Snooki to appear in so much flesh and gunties at your do for a mere $2,000?
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Posted: 10th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Video: Lindsay Lohan’s India Documentary
LINDSAY Lohan is the star of a BBC3 documentary in which she saves India and experiences the desperation and poverty of life on a remote BBC TV channel. It’s intensive care telly.
To the leggings factory! Let’s not exploit the kids – right Lindsay’s mum and dad?
Posted: 9th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Myleene Klass In Knife Horror: Celebrity Gardens A Goer
MYLEENE Klass is stood at a window waving a knife. Is this a teaser for 10 Years Younger, the beauty and scalpel show presented by the ubiquitous Klass?
Who wants some? Who wants a new face?
The Sun says Klasss is using the knife to “scare off yobs skulking in her garden at night”.
You can tell that the Sun likes Klass because while the people in her garden are “skulking yobs”, Klass is a “mum”.
The mum of one was alone in her kitchen as toddler Ava, two, slept upstairs when she saw the trespassers trying to break into her garden shed and peering through her windows.
Call the BBC, quick. Klass has a garden shed. Get her to front a new gardening show pronto. And is Celebrity Sheds a goer?
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Posted: 9th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Ivana Trump In Pictures
IVANA Trump enters the Celebrity Big Brother house. Last seen in print. Ivana was, being escorted from an airplane for, allegedly, “saying f*** you to all the deputies and called the children ‘little f******’”
Ivana Trump in the house? If so what’s she being paid? Vinnie Jones gets £350,000. Lady Sovereign gets a voucher for a KFC bucket dinner. Alex Reid gets enough money to buy his lover Katie Price a new varnishing – “No, love, I’ll get it this time.”
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Twilight’s Ashley Greene Is Less Than Zero, And Naked: Pictures
ASHLEY GREENE, of Twilight, blurs the boundaries between acting and sport by posing in a SoBe “Skin Suit” for Sports Illustrated. SoBe is not a new Simon Cowell-pumped act, but a drink that has zero calories. SoBe is drink about nothing. And here’s Ashley Green taking time out from posing naked in porn parodies and giving it body in a Skin Suits. As he says, it’s “a terrible name, and sounds like something out of Silence of the Lambs”. But Greene is wearing nothing more than body paint, which is high in calories, so take care when licking the page of your magazines, sports fans.
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Olly Murs And Stacey Solomon Get A Boat: In Pictures
THAT’S Stacey Solomon and Olly Murs sat on a new Sunseeker yacht at the London International Boat Show, at the Excel centre in east London. It is. It really is. Given Olly’s slippery poo dance, a boat might be the best place for him to be. But needs must. The narrative is that Olly and Stacey are to be forever entwined as a love duet. During the X Factor, we were invited to wonder if Olly and Stacey were or weren’t. They weren’t. They aren’t. And they won’t. Last time they were together in public Olly and Stacey were in an hermetically sealed snow globe ready to be shipped to the EU Celebrity mountain. They escaped. And they have a boat:
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Olly Murs Misses Robbie Williams And Was Out When Simon Cowell Called
OLLY Murs was going to best mates with his X Factor buddy Robbie Williams. Olly moved like a men skidding on wet poo and did his best to sing. He was gonna be huge. Robbie invited Olly to play football with him. And while Robbie went out to find about 20 players and some officials, Olly got in touch with his new pal:
In Pictures: X Factor’s Robbie Williams Busks For Apple And Tours WIth Olly Murs
“I’m a bit disappointed Robbie hasn’t been in touch. I texted him to say Happy New Year and congratulations on getting engaged but heard nothing back.”
Oh?
“His phone must be dead.”
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price Puts Vaseline On Her Lips, Big Brother Misses Out
KATIE Price, not on Celebrity Big Brother, delivers the shocking facts of the day in her new tome: Standing Out by Katie Price. For anyone keen to get Katie’s natural look, here’s how:
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Miss Neon 2010
Looking after my skin is not my strong point but the two things that do make my skin look better are sunbeds and Botox.
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Lady GaGa’s Hat Made From Her Own Hair
LADY GaGa is the creative director for a line of Polaroid Imaging products. Madonna’s Camel (TM) accepts her role at the Consumer Electronics Convention held at the Las Vegas Convention Center, Las Vegas. And she does so by finding a new way to conceal her face, this time beneath a hat fashioned from her own hair. Says she: “Just because we’re doing a heightened avant-garde sense of who we are, doesn’t mean that we start shredding things and making giant hats. It still has to be you.” Or as he who owned the look first might say: “You put an a after Gag, you put an Ag after Ga…” Take it away Worzel:
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price’s New Year’s Eve Panto Video: Right Toe!
MORE news of Katie Price on the Daily Star’s front page, which boasts of “SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT JORDAN, PARTYING AND HER KIDS”.
On any given year, you’d expect the Star to lead with Big Brother news, an adjective-heavy round-up of last night’s telly. But Big Brother is so awful that it sticks with Katie Price, now famous for not being on the show when two of her former shags are.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
The front page delivers this exchange from Katie’s “riotous New Year’s Eve” do:
Katie Price: I hate 2009
A “Tot”: Don’t say it, Mummy
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Casey Johnson’s Tweet Death: Tila Tequila’s Sexy Widow’s Weeds, Pictures
CASEY Johnson is dead and Tila Tequila (born Tila Nguyen) becomes a star. Anorak’s Man in LA tells us:
Tila Tequila’s been tweeting about her grief over the loss of her “wifey” Casey Johnson for days now.
And earlier today, she complained about the paparazzi staking out her house.
Then three hours later, she complained on Twitter that those annoying celebrity photographers had just left.
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True | Comment
In Pictures: Jonathan Ross’s Career (Paul Ross Lives)
GOODBYE Jonathan Ross. The talk is that you are heading off to cwack Amewika. Grandpas beware. Poofs, as you were. But rests assured that the Ross family showbiz legacy will linger on in the UK. Paul Ross stays!!! Here is Jonathan Ross’s career so far:
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Mariah Carey Presents The Ten Greatest Drunks On Film
MARIAH Carey wins Best Breakthrough Actress award for her role in Precious at the Palm Springs International Film Festival awards. And to kick down the critics who says he can’t act, she puts in a shambling performance on the winner’s rostrum that is truly remarkable. All the great acting drunks – Phil Mitchell, Lucille Ball and Robert Hays in Airplane – are tapped into a cocked hat by Mariah Carey. The audience loves it so much they start clapping before she’s even finished speaking.
Anorak brings you the greatest acting drunk of all time:
Withnail & I
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Angelina Jolie Is Mary Poppins, With Brad Pitt: In Pictures
BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in New York with Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (praise be upon her) to see Walt Disney’s Mary Poppins at The New Amsterdam Theater. Look out for Jolie sporting an umbrella soon and descending upon random areas of the world for the children. Madonna was to play the part of Poppins, but the US military would not sanction anyone to fly with a hypodermic syringe taped to the end of an umbrella (got to make sure the nippers have had their shots). In pictures:
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
In 61 Pictures: People’s Choice Awards 2010
MARIAH Carey, Taylor Lautner and Johnny Depp were all at the People’s Choice Awards 2010 held at the Nokia Theater on January 6, 2010 in Los Angeles. All were vying to take home a big glass tongue. Ashton Kutcher wanted to show everyone his new phone. Taylor Swift, Sandra Bullock, George Lopez, Chevy Chase, Victoria Asher, Jessica Alba, Alyson Hannigan, Hugh Jackman, Carrie Underwood, Nicole Scherzinger, Queen Latifah, Kate Walsh with a banister and loads of other liggers were there at the first big showbiz AGM of 2010. Pictures:
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Katie Price Sells Andre And Gets A Striker In Her Bosom
KATIE Price, currently appearing on Celebrity Big Brother as a dream sequence shag is selling Andre. No, not Peter Andre – Andre is a horse. The Mirror says that “riding Andre seems inappropriate”.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
So she’s going to dry hump it instead. Ba-ba-boom! The Mirror sets them up and we hammer them in.
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Russell Brand and Katie Perry’s Wedding Photos
GOOD to know that Russell Brand and Katy Perry have found each other in the dark. Perry, famous for dating Brand and singing a song about kissing girls, and Brand, famous for dating Perry and telling an old man he’d shagged his granddaughter, are to be married.
Always heartening when showbiz rebels behave conventionally.
Brand and Perry will marry; he’ll stop wearing tight trousers to increase his chances of a shag producing an offspring; she’ll starting singing about kissing babies; they’ll name their child Anne; and collaborate on a cook book. They will pose for traditional photos and release a few snaps of them in a funny pose for the expectant press.
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid And Vinnie Jones ‘Fight’ Over Michael Jackson
THAT sucking noise is the country’s last viewer of Celebrity Big Brother being sucked down life’s plughole. Before Channel 4 broadcast live footage of life in fame’s U-bend in Celebrity Shits, we hear form a man who is already there: Alex Reid, Katie Price’s latest shag.
The 10 Men Most Likely To Marry Katie Price
Reid, who on entering the house delivered the stated aim to “turn the boos into cheers” – clap and whoop as Vinnie Jones causes him to be carried out – says that he and Katie and bigger news than Michael Jackson’s death.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
He’s right. The Daily Star, for instance, leads with news of Alex Reid and Katie Price and only mentions Jacko in passing. The other big news is that “HOUSEMATE BOAST SPARKS FIGHT WITH VINNIE”.
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Premier Of Ian Dury Bopic Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll
TO the premier of the Ian Dury biopic Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, at Islington’s Everyman cinema. Dury’s partner, Chaz Jankel was there. In the film we see the seminal moment when Dury, of Kilburn & the High Roads, meets Jankel. It is May 1976. Jankel arrives uninvited in Dury’s dressing room. “Do I know you?” asks Dury. “No,” says Jankel. “Well do us a favour then,” says Dury, “and fuck off!” and thus a legend is born. In the film Andy Serkis plays Dury . Serkis played Gollum in Lord of the rings. Dury would have seen the humour in that. Or hated it:
Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The 10 Men Most Likely To Marry Katie Price
“WHAT’S Katie Price been up to?” you ask. How’s pop acorn Peter Andre? How are the kidzzz? Well, news is that Katie will “REVEAL ALL” in the I’m A Celebrity… Jungle.
What’s that? No, Katie isn’t still in the Australian Bush studio, left behind years after the fray like a Japanese soldier unable to commit Hari Kari because his chest keeps bouncing off his sword. Katie is back. Peter, however is not. He’s gone, lost in Ikea’s lighting section.
So what horror is waiting for our Katie in the ITV jungle? Having squired 1980s popster Peter Andre, is there another one-hit wonder of yesteryear waiting for her? Let’s take a look at the Top Ten next Mr Katie Prices:
Rico Suave - Gerardo
Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Money, Strange But True | Comment
The Death Of Casey Johnson In Adverts, Tequila, Pictures And Tweets
CASEY Johnson has died and her former lover Tila Tequila, a reality TV star, having twittered her lover’s coma now uses her Twitter page to share her private moments with the dead soclaite. No, it’s not a sex tape. It’s a prank, a joke Tila played on Johnson a few days before the young woman died.
There is nothing poignant about any of this. This is not ululating or sobbing. Loss affects us all differently, but pushing videos of the one you loved smacks of tackiness and a desperate need to be seen. Yes, the video was puiblished before Johsnson died, but Tequila has linked to it since. She’s also using her Twitter page to plug her gossip blog. Look not at the dead young woman. Look at me. Look! Look! Look! So we look. And we see nothing.
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Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Lindsay Lohan’s Top Secret Fashion Designs Revealed
SOMEONE called Patrick Aufdenkamp (yeah, really – would you make it up) has, according to a source speaking to Us Magazine, been accused of stealing Lindsay Lohan’s fashion line. Indeed, readers, Lohan is making it so that now you can all wear tatty leggings and ill-fitting bikinis. She is creative enough for you – all of you:
A friend close to Lohan tells UsMagazine.com, “Patrick stole Lindsay’s sketches for her new 6126 clothing line.” WWD reported Dec. 30 that Lohan’s 6126 leggings line would be expanded to become a full clothing collection for fall 2010.
Lohan tells UsMagazine.com that Aufdenkamp has been her “best friend” since she was 16. He has frequently been photographed with the actress, and was present at many meetings related to her new fashion line.
“He is now running off trying to do his own line,” a Lohan pal says incredulously, “And telling people he’s going to fashion market week in NYC on February 18 to debut his line.”
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Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Shane McGowen Stays Awake For Weeks In Readiness For 2012 Olympics
SHANE MacGowan of the Pogues would like you to that he stays awake for a week at a time.
How does he do it nd still manage to look so good?
The frontman, known for his mammoth drinking sessions and being a public schoolboy at heart, said he goes for days at a time without rest. Eventually, he will simply “crash out” when he has become too tired – and then begins again.
“I generally stay awake for about a week. I get catnaps, and then when I’m really exhausted I crash out for a good long while and carry on, you know what I mean?”
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Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Prince Harry And Prince William Covered In Oil: Portrait Photos
TO the National Portrait Gallery to gaze upon the first painted double-portrait of Prince William and Prince Harry, by artist Nicky Philipps. Wills is armed. Harry is holding his hip. Is this the aftermath of a fight? If so then the portrait proves, conclusively, that Prince Hal and Wills do not spend all day drinking, having larks and patronising a select few charities. When occasion demands, they stand stock still to have their portrait painted. Note: The portrait in the background is of the Dowager Anorak, to whom Prince Phillip owes everything…
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Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
