Key Posts Category
Who Left Their Sperm On the Jesus College Pool Table? Oxford University Crime Watch
WHO is the Oxford University student who left a deposit of sperm on the pool table at Jesus College? After an invetigation, a letter was left apologising for leaving “two teaspoons of my unborn children”.
“The pool table is a piece of equipment that facilitates a multitude of complex, enjoyable and satisfying cue sports, among them pool, snooker and billiards. It is not, therefore, an appropriate place for me to deposit two teaspoons of my unborn children.”
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Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (5)
Egypt: The Best Protest Signs (Mubarak: The Hitler Jew Rabbit)
ON the streets of Egypt the locals are carrying sings. Many are written in English, revealing an awareness of the TV news cameras. But not all of the signs are good at getting the message across; some just draw attention to themselves by their spelling, phrasing or just plain oddness (Mubarak is Hitler, a Jew and a rabbit?!). We’ve compiled a selection of the best for your perusal…
Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)
Artist Draws Self-Portrait Under Influence Of Different Drugs: Fascinating Pictures
DRUGS can influence your art. In a selfless experiment, artist Brian Lewis Saunders took different drugs before producing a self portrait. The effects are, apparently, profound. But can you work the reverse? Can you look at art and then work out what drugs the artist was on..?
Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts | Comments (3)
Biased BBC Says Muslim Brotherhood Are No Jihadis: Well, Not All Of Them Are
EGYPT In Chaos (Photos): The BBC has 50 journalists in Egypt. They also have Simpson and Bowen talking to other BBC journalists while the cameras roll. All agree that the Muslim Brotherhood is a conservative organisation. (Many Egyptians disagree.)
Says Jeremy Bowen on the BBC – and this the same Bowen who said of the Islamists that want to annihilate Israel and every Jew in it: “Hamas is a less conventional organisation”:
The country’s only properly organised mass political movement outside the ruling party is the Muslim Brotherhood, and it would do very well in any free election.
Unlike the jihadis, it does not believe it is at war with the West. It is conservative, moderate and non-violent. But it is highly critical of Western policy in the Middle East.
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Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
Cyclone Yasi Hits Australia: Too Late To Run
A HUGE storm is heading towards Queensland. The revolving tropical storm Yasi has now been upgraded to a Category 5 cyclone and is going to hit North Queensland somewhere south of Cairns in the next few hours. Evacuation centres in Cairns are full, writes AGW.
(Above phone: Brisbane Times)
The Queensland authorities already reeling, struggling with the chaos caused by the multi-billion A$ damage of the Christmas – New Year floods, had earlier only one piece of advice “Run Away“.
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Posted: 2nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)
Jacqui Ainsley (Guy Ritchie’s Lover) Talks About Her Private Life In Hello!
JACQUI Ainsley is the lover to Guy Richie, former husband to Madonna. She’s in Hello!, talking about Guy’s pyjamas, her “organic” move into his home, their cooking and watching telly together, her learning Hebrew, her godson…
Says Hello!:
“Both Guy and Jacqui are intensely private…”
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Posted: 1st, February 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Jeremy Paxman Says Taxes Are C*nts: James Naughtie Might Laugh
JEREMY Paxman was on Newsnight saying that taxes and those cut are “cunts”. Is this a slip of the tongue or now, given the use of the word by James Naughtie and others, BBC policy? If it is, it’s time to start looking for a new taboo word. Any suggestions?
Posted: 1st, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (6)
Jeremy Bamber: The Silencer On The Mantel Mystery
JEREMY Bamber was found guilty of murdering five members of his family. He wants to appeal. The Criminal Cases Review Commission is deliberating. Bamber is serving a whole life tariff. Unless he is freed he will die in jail.
In 1985, Bamber killed his mum, dad, sister and twin nephews. When the case went before the jury at the Old Bailey, they could only form a majority verdict. There was doubt as to his guilt. Bamber blamed his sister, a mentally ill model called Sheila Caffell. He says she killed the family and then took her own life.
Sheila was found lying next to a Bible with two gunshot wounds to her neck. The murder weapon, a .22 Anschutz semi-automatic rifle, was found in her hands
Bamber is in Full Sutton prison in York. His appeal relies on the work of photographic analyst Peter Sutherst. He’s a photography expert who provides technical advice to scenes of crime officers.
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Posted: 31st, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Andy Gray And Richard Keys Gone: Now For The BBC’s Sexist Perry Groves
RICHARD Keys and Andy Gray have been routed from pay-per-view satellite TV. People who don’t pay to watch football on Sky Sports need never hear their sniveling, debased off air comments again.
But the Touchline Taliban are many in face and voice. Take the BBC’s Perry Groves in the Sun:
“I know a lot of women and they’re not consistent from hour to hour. Footballers want the rules to be applied consistently and this wouldn’t happen with women refs. It’s hard enough for male refs to earn respect from players. With a woman in charge, players will be thinking: ‘You know nothing about football’. Also, let’s face it, women have periods and we all know how hormones affect them. Would women refs be banned during their ‘time of the month’ because they might be more emotional, depressed or aggressive?”
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Posted: 31st, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Hot Dogs Tattoos: As Disgusting On The Outside As They Are On The Inside
HOT Dogs are disgusting. Anorak’s illustrator of repute 14 has words on the gag reflex in a bun. But not everyone hates the hot dog. Some of you want to paint a hot dog on your bodies in indelible ink – the immovable object on the insides matched by the immovable object on the outside. Your hot dog has you surrounded.
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Posted: 31st, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Elton John Show Off Zachary At Gnomeo Premiere: Photos
TO the premiere of Gnomeo and Julie (it is as it sounds – gnome meets lover; gnome losers lover; gnome impales himself on fishing rod barb). The film is produced by news dads Elton John and David Furnish, they of the censored sperm shake. This might well be the future for Elton.
New celebrity mums and dads are fond of turning their soft hands to the creative arts and bringing us ranges of clothing and books so that we plebs can dress our sprogs like better looking and more talented babies. We can read our kidzzz the same stories, perhaps while impersonating the famous writer and thus increase the chance, however miniscule, that our child will not grow up to resent our inability to get them record deal and a modelling contract with Chanel.
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Posted: 31st, January 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Christian Cull Talks About The Troubles In Egypt On BBC News: More Nominative Determinism
AND the name of the UK travel expert talking to BBC News 24 about the troubles in Egypt – where the Muslim Brotherhoods are looking to gain power; and the Coptics are being slaughtered – is…Christian Cull.
Egypt’s Troubles Delight Algerian Football Fans
Egypt Erupts: Ayatollah Khomeini’s Sermons Are Now On Twitter
More nominative determinism:
Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
One Direction Take On The Groupies: X Rated X Factor Photos
WHAT happened to sort-of-singing, sort-of-dancing X Factor boy band One Direction following their defeat and Harry Styles’s famous on-air comment to show winner Matt Cardle (“Think of how much pussy you’re going to get”)?
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Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)
Egypt’s Troubles Delight Algerian Football Fans
ADRIAN Chen has piece on how Egypt’s football fans are fomenting change. Forget the Muslim Brotherhood, Wikileaks, the death of Khalid Said and Elsaid Bilal, mummies or whatever else is being attributed as being behind the protests, Chen wants us to look at the country’s football fans and their readiness for battle.
These guys are better at tangling with cops than just about anyone.
Egyptian blogger Alaa abd El-Fatah tells Al Jazeera:
“The ultras – the football fan associations – have played a more significant role than any political group on the ground at this moment.”
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Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
Egypt Revolution: Country On The Brink As Tanks Roll Into Cairo (Photos)
IN Egypt the protesters have responded to the presence of tanks on the streets and outside the main TV building in Cairo by climbing on them. This is no Tiananmen Square where the lone figure stood before the tanks symbolised the struggle for individuality against the machine. This is a revolution that might really happen. At one moment a soldier left his lines to go over to the crowd. They hoisted him high on their shoulders.
These mass protests against the three-decade rule of President Hosni Mubarak may yet achieve the change the protestors crave.
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Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
‘It’ Girl Louise Glass Sues Sky Over Richard Keys Smashing Her Life
TIME to hear more from Louise Glass, the former Jamie Redknapp love interest. She’s in the news because the now former Sky Sports presenter Richard Keys – the Touchline Taliban and Alan Partridge wannabe – asked Redknapp if he smashed it.
The Sunday Mirror leads with the not-in-the-least-bit-overly-dramatic-front-page headline:
I AM THE GIRLS KEYS CALLED ‘IT’
This is no longer a tabloid report into a crass comment; it’s an episode of Judge Judy in which the victim enters the hushed courtroom. All eyes turn towards her. Susie Boniface approaches the jurors (that’s you):
Housewife Louise Glass’s peaceful life in a quiet Dorset village was shattered this week when the whole nation heard the £500,000 a year sports presenter goad his TV guest Jamie Redknapp about Louise, a former girlfriend.
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Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (13)
Coronation Street: Samia Smith And Will Thorp Star In Tabloid Masterclass
CORONATION STREET stars Samia Smith and Will Thorp are reported to be in a romance. It’s front-page news in the NoTW, which has been sitting on the story for a month. The story began with the Sun saying Thorpe was “comforting” Smith. They had formed a “solid relationship”.
Now we learn:
“She is smitten with him and he is obsessed with her. They believe they will be together forever.”
Is that right? Do two actors who have been married and parented children think they will together forever? Did they say that? No. Because none of the players will talk to the tabloid, all we have is an unnamed “source”.
Our Corrie source said: “They left their partners and within weeks admitted they were a couple. But both are adamant that nothing went on between them until after they had left their families. There are three young children involved in all of this and it is so sad.”
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Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole and Ashley’s Secret Dates: Chelsea Players Hope For Love Affair
CHERYL Cole And Ashley Cole have been “secretly meeting” in “dates“. The NoTW says the divorced couple have been meeting at their old marital home. The paper conjures up this gem:
Insiders at his Chelsea club say Ashley thinks he can win her back despite cheating on her with FIVE women. “It’s the talk of the training ground,” said a source.
All the Chelsea footballers, kit men, managers, Roman Abramovich and the youth team are talking about Chezza and Ash.
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Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Egypt In Chaos: Looters Rip Heads Off Two Mummies
EGYPT IN Chaos: Looters have smashed their way into the Egyptian Museum, Cairo, and ripped the heads off two mummies.
This is why the British Museum exists. Send us your antiquities and the Brits will store them for you. you can have them back. One day. All being well…
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Posted: 29th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
In Photos And Slogans: Students And Unions Manchester And London Protests
THERE are spasms of violence at the anti-student fees, anti-coalition cuts to public spending in London and Manchester. The mainstream media should enjoy this.
Sky News talks of protestors “throwing bottles and sticks”. The police form the kettle and crank up the temperature. In Manchester, Aaron Porter, the president of the National Union of Students, is surrounded and subjected to anti-Semitic insults. (What is it about the extreme left and their hatred of Jews?)
The BBC does not note the racism, going with Porter being “challenged by demonstrators wanting a more militant leadership”.
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Posted: 29th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
Richard Keys Is The Touchline Taliban: A Victim Of The Thought Police
WHEN Richard Keys wondered if his Sky Sports colleague Jamie Redknapp had “smashed it”, we knew it would not be long until we met the object of that sniveling off-air comment. So. Here’s Louise Glass, the Sun’s “shocked mum”.
The Sun is keen to add more public humiliation on Keys, whose crimes were to make comments he thought would never see the light of day.
It’s hard to find anyone willing to stick up for Keys in public, or indeed for his old mucker Andy Gray, whose antiquated views were also delivered in what he believed was a private conversation.
Before we meet Glass, the Mail’s Charles Sales types out this line in the Daily Mail, a paper that’s hardly a bastion of sexual enlightenment given its continued employment of the “unnatural” Jan Moir:
Middle East network Al Jazeera is being mooted as the most likely next destination for Gray and Keys, who worked for the burgeoning sports operation during Euro 2008. However, Al Jazeera, who are trying to distance themselves from the reputation of being al Qaeda’s preferred mouthpiece, are wary of the negative publicity signing the pair would bring.
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Posted: 29th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Epic Fail: BBC Words Smith Michael Rosen Talks To The Sun’s John Kay
ON Michael Rosen’s Word of Mouth show on BBC Radio 4, he visited the Sun’s newsroom. The show “explores the world of language and communication”.
The Sun was used to illustrate how every word matters. Every part of every sentence is deliberate and deliberated over.* Just as Rosen’s show has limited space (30 minutes), the Sun has space for each story. Mindful of the power of words, Rosen spoke with the Sun’s award winning chief reporter, John Kay.
Kay told how the talented sub editors always make his story better.
Rosen wondered if changing his pros annoyed Kay. He asked Kay:
“But surely you want to kill them..?”
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Posted: 28th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Joe Biden’s Gaffe Proves The BBC Is Biased Against Sarah Palin
JOE Biden is said by the LA Times to be key to Barack Obama’s success – “The success of Obama’s presidency hinges more and more on the negotiating skills and political instincts.”
Best of luck, Barry. Here’s Jo Biden:
That gaffe does not feature on the BBC, which called Obama the “post-partisan” and makes jokes that George Bush is thick and should be murdered.
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Posted: 28th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (3)
Gifs Of the Week: The Xbox Slap
ANORAK brings you the best Gifs of The Week, featuring the X Box Slap, the buttocks rosette, the world;’s greatest crazy golf shot, the rugby balls pinch and many more…
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Cheryl Cole’s Tattoos: Nation’s Sweetheart Becomes Mrs Colewort (Photos)
CHERYL Cole wants to show you her new tramp stamp tattoo, a new version of her old tramp stamp tattoo. News is that the new version will link up with a tattoo that wraps about Cole’s thigh. It might then be linked to that “Mrs Cole” tattoo that sits on the back of Cheryl’s neck, the one that provided reassurance to former husband Ashley Cole in yoga class and other doggy pursuits.
It’s a huge media debate.
The Sun hears from Dr Sean Lanigan, who sees a scare story. You should not copy Cheryl Cole:
BRITAIN is facing a tattoo timebomb as more women than ever decide to copy stars like Cheryl Cole by “getting inked”…
So think carefully or you could add weight to the old saying: “Tattoo in haste, repent at leisure”.
That old saying sounds a lot like a new saying.
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Posted: 28th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
