Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
Hackney council, on whose patch “Tony” found the dead monster – picked it up; posed for a photo with the heavy beast on the end of a stick; threw beast away – is unsure:
Perspective? Maybe, says Father Ted:
Expanded Bristol Stool Chart with Personality Typing.
The Daily Star is Number 1 for rat news:
The story goes that “A MONSTER rat as big as a child has sparked fears that Britain will be overrun with giant rodents.”
Although living in a land overrun by children might be more terrifying.
The huge pest was spotted in north London, lying dead next to a popular children’s playground. Weighing more than 25lbs and measuring four-feet tall, it had a tail like an adult’s arm.
It was found by a man named Tony, who says:
“This is the largest rat I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I’d say it was about four foot. I’ve got a cat and a Jack Russell and it was bigger than both of those put together.”
When was the last time you saw your cat and dog, Tony?
Rats have never had it so good.
“A man exposed himself to a young mother on her way to watch her child in a school play,” reports the Stoke Sentinel. Tony Cartlidge is 24. He flashed his penis at a woman on the street. When she pushed him away, he asked her, “What’s up? You’re not normally like this.”
Police were called. Cartlidge told them he thought the woman was his ex-partner. He hoped showing her his penis would win her back.
It never did work out. Cartlidge earned a 12-month community order with a rehabilitation activity requirement for 20 days. His ex remains at large and, one images, in heavy disguise.
A woman from Shasta County, California, led law enforcement officers on a high-speed pursuit in a van painted to look like the ‘Mystery Machine’ from the Scooby Doo cartoon. On Sunday at 12:50pm, a probation officer with Shasta County Probation contacted Redding Police Department regarding Sharon Kay Turman, 51, wanted for a probation violation.
According to police, Turman was found operating the 1994 Chrysler minivan painted teal and green. When officers tried to conduct a traffic stop, Turman took off in the van. A pursuit began as Turman sped away. The chase came to a stop, but Turman continued to speed southbound, said police.
Turman then drove through an intersection against a red light hitting four other vehicles. The California Highway Patrol helicopter later located the van just north of Anderson. Officers said Turman then continued the chase through the city of Anderson and onto Interstate 5 at speeds of over 100 mph.
Turman continued onto Highway 36 westbound, where she was spotted by the CHP helicopter abandoning her vehicle. Turman’s current whereabouts are unknown. She is wanted by the Redding Police Department as well as Shasta County Probation. Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of Sharon Kay Turnman is encouraged to contact the Redding Police Department.
In what Dallas police are calling a glide-by shooting, a man has been shot by a felon riding a hoverboard:
Police were called to a RaceTrac gas station shortly after 4am. A man was found with a gunshot wound to his arm. The man told police he was driving when he offered to give the man on the hoverboard a ride.* The hoverboard rider, a black male with dreadlocks, declined. The driver came back about 30 minutes later and offered a ride again, but that angered the hoverboard rider – so the man on the hoverboard shot the driver in the right arm.
Police scoured the area but the shooter glided away from capture.
*The man’s story sounds about a straight-up as anyone whose ever tried and failed to ride a hoverboard.
To Cannes, France, where a 45-year-old mechanic is offering a woman €20 to sit and watch him masturbate. She declines.
The next day he makes her a new offer: some more cash and a ménage à trois.
The prostitute takes the cash but is revolted when the third wheel turns out to be the man’s English Setter dog. He “had begun to assist his master in the satisfaction of his passions”, she recalls.
So she calls the police. He’s arrested. The dog walks free.
And millions of men wonder if they’ve ever had a threesome without realising it. Dog, they do so like to watch…
To Florida, where mum-of-four Ashton Barton is under arrest for allegedly stealing a vibrating Durex Ring of Bliss sex toy.
She told police: “I would rather do this than be unfaithful. My husband doesn’t want to touch me anymore. I would rather do this than be unfaithful.”
The Ring of Bliss is placed around “the base of the penis”.
How she planned to get the penis attachment is not known, what with her husband’s being untouchable.
To Nebraska City, where two boys are watching the movie Mommie Dearest. The film’s bio runs:
Mommie Dearest, best selling memoir, turned motion picture, depicts the abusive and traumatic adoptive upbringing of Christina Crawford at the hands of her mother…screen queen Joan Crawford.
The two young movie fans, ages 4 and 6, may one day get to write a sequel of sorts in their own memoirs because their mum’s boyfriend, Glenn Oliver, 30, has duct-taped them to their chairs. Mary K. Lucas wanted her sons to watch the movie to show them she wasn’t the world’s meanest mom.
When she went out to work, Oliver tried to make sure the kids did as mum wanted by forcing them to watch the show.
Someone looking in spotted the children glued to their seats inside a filthy home. They called the police. And now sweet Oliver has been sentenced to three years in prison.
To Las Cruces, New Mexico, where a man is under arrest. His crime? Paying $6 for the pack of cigarettes he took.
Ellis C. Battista, 24, is charged with one count of breaking and entering, a fourth-degree felony. At around 3:30am, Battista and another man went to purchase a pack of cigarettes at Bradley’s convenience store.
The store normally operates 24 hours a day, but the clerk was not on duty and the store was locked. Store surveillance cameras and witnesses confirmed that Battista pounded on the store’s front door several times in an apparent attempt to gain the attention of the store clerk, who was not there.
Battista then allegedly kicked the door’s lower panel, which broke. Battista, believed to be intoxicated at the time, then entered the store. Video surveillance indicates Battista selected a pack of cigarettes and ensured that cameras captured images of him leaving $6 for the merchandise. A witness called 911 to report the break-in, and police officers located Battista nearby.
Yes, indeed, dear British readers, $6 for a packet of 20 salmons. It’s a steal.
Note: In the UK ciggies cost around £9 for 20. It is daylight robbery.
Looking to save money, the Nigerian government culled 23,846 workers from its payroll. The Finance Ministry says the mass sacking saved 2.29 billion naira (£8m, $11.53m). But don’t worry – the sacked workers never existed:
The audit is part of an anti-corruption campaign by President Muhammadu Buhari, who took power last year. Corruption and mismanagement have long been a challenge to Nigeria’s growth, and the government has promised to cut costs.
The audit started in December used biometric data and a bank verification number to identify holders of bank accounts into which salaries were being paid. This process allowed the identification of some workers who were receiving a salary that did not correspond to the names linked to the bank accounts.
It also revealed that some employees were receiving salaries from multiple sources…
And you can do your bit to help. General Dr Clement Okon has 57 millions trillion dollars in a private account. But he fell foul of the current President and needs your help to release the funds. Just send your bank details to….
To Florida, where Hope Hanak, 56, woman was allegedly tried to steal $500 worth of groceries from the Publix on Citrus Tower Boulevard.
Police said Hanak loaded groceries into reusable bags and went to the customer service desk to buy cigarettes. After paying for the cigarettes, she continued to walk out of the store without paying for the other items, according to the report. The total amount of items Hanak had in her bags was $508.75, police said. The store manager stopped Hanak, then called police. Hanak told police she had “just been been stupid and did not want to wait in line.”
Fair enough. Putting $500-worth of groceries through the tiles is laborious. The people stuck behind her would be tutting loudly and cause Hope no end of stress. Briskly walking off with the shopping was the sensible and selfless course of action.
The defence rests.
To Nashville International Airport, Tennessee, where Eric Cherry is stood before the American Airlines desk. He wants to buy a ticket. But he can’t because police say he can’t buy a ticket whilst naked. They arrest him.
Tod Brilliant was there. These are his pictures. “So this just happened at Nashville airport,” says Tod. “I walked up to him and said ‘You’re amazing.’ He replied, ‘Thanks.’ Then they came for him.”
Cherry has been charged with public indecency. It is now known where he kept his money to pay for the ticket.
Jesus is buff.
But where is he?
This story gets better the more you read. An inmate at DuPage County, Illinois, wants to be released within 14 days. He says that unless his the personal effects taken from him during his July 2015 arrest are retuned within that period, he will leave prison in a huff and moan a lot.
Ignatius “Michael” Pollara, 50, of Tamarac, Florida, wants returned his three pairs of underwear, a “Mr. Froggy” plush animal and concert tickets.
Mr Pollara is being held on $125,000 bail on a burglary charge, accused of stealing several paintbrushes and a box of pencils from a Lombard Hobby Lobby store.
Pollara argued in court on Thursday, against the advice of Assistant Public Defender Mark Lyon, that the Oak Brook Police Department’s “negligence and carelessness” in failing to safely store his items has deprived him of his due process. In a written motion, Pollara also demanded to be discharged from jail within 14 days if the items are not returned. DuPage Judge Brian Telander warned Pollara that his antics frequently come close to trying his patience. But he also asked prosecutors to try to find Pollara’s missing property not considered to be evidence.
Oak Brook police Sgt. Ben Kadolph said on Thursday afternoon his department has “a lot of property” taken during Pollara’s arrest, including a stuffed animal. “We have several boxes of stuff that was taken as evidence in this and possibly other cases,” Kadolph said. “And we have a box of his personal property.” In the motion filed on Feb. 10, Pollara identified the missing items he wants returned. Included in his list were a backpack and a suitcase, a laptop computer, several clothing items, “one Hearst Castle plush blanket,” “tickets to U2 and Grateful Dead concerts” and “one stuffed ‘Mr. Froggy’ plush animal with tag”…
“I think I’ve been here long enough for two paint brushes and a bag of pencils,” he said, before being warned by a deputy to calm down and lower his voice.
Two paint brushes and pencils warrants jail and needs $125,000 bail to talk free until his court date? Wow! America has lost the plot.
And then this
In Florida, Pollara is known as the “Toys ‘R’ Us Kid” and the “Lego Bandit” after he was convicted in a 2012 burglary spree in which he stole more than $2 million in Lego sets and toys from the Toys “R” Us chain.
Although given the prize of Lego, that haul amounts pretty much one Millennium Falcon and a Lego encounter group.
Dustin G. Taylor, 21, of Fort Smith, Arkansas, was unable to located the key that would release the handcuffs a lover had tied to his wrists during a sex game. He called for help. The police answered. They took Dustin to the station, where they released the cuffs. They soon released Dustin was a wanted man and handcuffed him.
It is not known whether Mr Taylor enjoyed the police’s rough treatment and dominant position, nor regrets not joining the police force, where his fetish for handcuffs could have been satisfied in the service of the common good.
To Adams County, Wisconsin, where 76-year-old John H. Przybyla says his failed breath test is down to the beer-battered fish he’d eaten.
The judge thought it was Przybyla who was battered.
He’s been found guilty of drink driving.
Soon, like the fish, he will travelling by bicycle.
WorldNews247 says the man was upset when the the elevator button he’d pressed didn’t cause the doors to open. So he kicked the doors. They opened. He then fell though the opening and down the shaft, breaking his legs.
The thrill of shoplifting can trigger all manner of bodily ticks. In Florida, for instance, Brooke Amber Sutton, 27, allegedly left behind a puddle of urine when she made off with more than $2,100 in designer clothes.
An employee at the Ann Taylor store at Silver Sands Premium Outlets in Miramar Beach, claims Sutton also left behind her cell phone.
Sutton’s been charged with theft, it having been argued that the only thing shed didn’t take was the piss, which she left behind.
Had Paula Jay Ernst, 51, entered, she would have said: “I took reusable grocery bags to steal $199 worth of groceries from a Hernando Publix grocery store and walked out without paying because I had defected in my pants.”
Too late to win the Sony Walkman but good enough to earn Ernst a few nights in jail.
File under: next time use the bag for life.