Posts Tagged ‘manchester united’
Arsenal Score Against Manchester United – Faith In Wenger Not Misguided: Photos Of Debt Beating Prudence
ARSENAL went to Manchester United today boasting a team with slightly less experience than a novice nun on a Stag weekend in Amsterdam. Gunners fans held aloft a benner whish declared:
“IN ARSENE WE TRUST”
United fans unfurled their own banner:
“Glazer Glazer What’s The Score Clear All The Debt In Singapore”
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Posted: 28th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
How’s Jason? What Will Be The BBC’S First Question To Manchester United’s Sir Alex Ferguson?
AFTER seven years of silence, Manchester United’s manager Alex Ferguson will deign to speak with the grovelling BBC. “It’s not a grudge, it’s a stance,” said Feguson of his silence.
It all began when the BBC made a limp documentary called Father and Son, which alleged that Ferguson had put pressure on younger players at Old Trafford to sign up with his son Jason, who was operating as a football agent.
Fergie saw something take offence at (as is his way). So. He decided not to honour the contract between the BBC and the Premier League that stipulates that every Premier League manager must tell the hapless sod with the microphone how they feel to have won / lost / drawn. For seen long years BBC viewers have had to make do without Fergie’s pithy reaction to poor referees and the officials’ bad time-keeping. For seven years Garth Crooks has been unable to stew Ferguson’s words and reveal to Match of The Day viewers what the Scot is thinking – really, really thinking.
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Posted: 28th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Samir Nasri Says He Wants To Play For Manchester United
LIKE most other news organs, Anorak has been tracking Samir Nasri’s move to Manchester City from Arsenal. And he’s on his way. As Emirates news reports:
Samir Nasri is set to complete his switch to Manchester City from Arsenal within 24 hours after it emerged the midfielder was to undergo a medical on Thursday.
But:
Le Parisien are reporting that Nasri met with QPR playmaker, and close friend, Adel Taarabt last week, where he confessed that Manchester City were far from being his first choice club to sign for. The Arsenal player is reported to have said he would love to play for either Barcelona, Real Madrid or Manchester United, and will only move to Eastlands as long as none of these sides come in for him.
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Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (15)
Gary Neville Interviews Manchester City Boss Roberto Mancini: Journalists Cheer
YOU are about to see a video of Manchester United’s Gary Neville interviewing Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini. You are about to see why Neville should not be going into football management. It makes for wonderfully painful viewing. It also explains why Sky Sports is often easier to watch than the BBC’s sports output – it’s because the BBC is obsessed with giving presenting jobs to ex-players and athletes instead of journalists.
On the other hand, it can be argued that Neville is a roaring success, given than the job of any interview is to keep us entertained:
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Manchester United, Wesley Sneijder And A Tabloid Romance
WILL Manchester United buy Wesley Sneijder from Inter Milan? The Daily Mail knows the facts. And if says them all at once, it’s bound to be right – right?
August 12: “Manchester United have given up on their bid to sign Wesley Sneijder from Inter Milan.”
Previously in the Mail:
July 14: “Manchester United hope to complete the £35million transfer of Wesley Sneijder after agreeing terms of around £190,000 a week with the Inter Milan midfielder”
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Manchester City Sign Wesley Sneijder – And So Do Manchester United
WILL Manchester United sign Wesley Sneijder, the diminutive Hollander from Inter Milan? The Daily Mail considers the facts:
July 14: “Manchester United hope to complete the £35million transfer of Wesley Sneijder after agreeing terms of around £190,000 a week with the Inter Milan midfielder”
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Posted: 11th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (4)
Manchester United Are The Goods Guys As The Sun Says It’s OK To Hate Manchester City
BECAUSE it now obligatory to hate Manchester City and tell them how to run their club and business, the Sun’s Steven Howard mangoes to watch the community shield and declare:
“This was a result to make football itself stand up and cheer. And not just because the Bad Guys got a punch on the nose from the Good Guys. This was also a victory for the vibrancy of youth. And for the way teams and clubs should be built.”
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Posted: 8th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
Manchester City V Manchester United: Photos Of The FA Community Shield Premier League Marketing Smack Down
MANCHESTER United and Manchester City played in the FA Community Shield smack down – a game broadcast about the world for the club’s respective owners in the UAE and the USA. Still, the fans of the clubs don’t give two hoots – so long as they win…
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Manchester United’s Alex Ferguson Tells The Daily Mail To F*ck Off Over Wesley Sneijder (Video)
BOB Cass works for the Mail on Sunday. He’s a footballer reporter. His recent recent article of August 2 on the matter of Inter Milan star Wesley Sneijder’s move to Manchester United is entitled:
You blew it Sneijder, insists United boss Ferguson who is confident with his current crop
The money quote informs us:
If he wants to come he must accept our contract offer,’ said a source. ‘If not, we have other options in mind. We’re done talking.’
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Posted: 4th, August 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (10)
Rio Ferdinand’s Alleged Women: Manchester United’s Player’s First XI In Photos
RIO Ferdinand, the Manchester United and England star – a married father of three (Lorenz, Tate and Tia) – has “11 SEXY BABES”. The Daily Star has news on its front page of Ryan Giggs and Wayne Rooney’s teammate. The paper labels him a “LOVE CHEAT”.
We learn:
Rio Ferdinand’s serial cheating was laid bare yesterday when 10 alleged conquests were named in court. Rio Ferdinand’s list of shame, which includes four models and a stripper, was revealed at the High Court during the Manchester United star’s privacy trial.
Only four models? And, no, not at once on a water bed?! Former Manchester United great George Best might have wept.
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Posted: 7th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Alexis Sanchez Is On His Way To Rescue Barcelona: Giampaolo Pozzo Is Talking Balls
HERO Of The Day is Udinese president Giampaolo Pozzo. His star man Alexis Sanchez could be on his way out of the club. But where to? Chelsea, Manchester City, Manchester United and Barcelona are all being touted as possible purchasers. Pozzo takes a view:
“If Barca want him, they will have to pay his fair price, which is €50m [£44m]. He is the piece missing in Guardiola’s puzzle, a player who makes the difference.”
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Ryan Giggs, Anal Sex And Natasha Giggs’ ‘Ring ‘n’ Ride’ Bum Photo
RYAN Giggs has now been on the Daily Star’s front page for 11 straight days. In the Daily Giggs – the official Manchester United newspaper – today we learn:
“I dressed as french maid for sex with Giggs”
Given the allegations of hotel room sex with Natasha Giggs and Imogen Thomas, you might suppose the French maid was an actual French maid on work experience. It tuns out that the maid is Natasha Giggs, and she “donned a pink frilly micro-skirt and black G-string with white spots to thrill him“.
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Wayne Rooney: The X Factor Judge
ANYONE could be a judge on Britain’s Got Talent or the X Factor. The judges aren’t chosen for their knowledge in talent or music (if that were the case, do you honestly think that Amanda Holden would be near your screen, ever?), but rather, for their confidence in front of camera and, presumably, their nepotistic friendship with Simon Cowell doesn’t do any harm either.
And so, it is obvious that Wayne Rooney should be a judge on the next series. Why? Mainly because he’s famous and thick.
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Posted: 6th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Wayne Rooney’s Hair Transplanted From His Chest And Women’s Pillows? Photo
CRICKET has Shane Warne. Rugby has Austin Healey. And now football has its face of stitched on hair: Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney has had a hair transplant.
Tweets Wanye:
“Just to confirm to all my followers I have had a hair transplant. I was going bald at 25 why not.”
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Posted: 4th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (7)
Ryan Giggs Is WAGMAN – Manchester United Sexer Turns Imogen Thomas Lesbian
IMOGEN Thomas is a lesbian. And for that, you lady footballers can thank Manchester United’s Ryan Giggs.
In the Star’s “IMOGEN: SEX WITH GIGGS TURNED ME LESBIAN”, the bald, stressed, sacrificial, de-stressed, ‘raped‘, potential anorexic stripper says she’s off men and into women.
Might this be a new post-footy career for Giggsy – a man who can be hired by Wags to de-sex strumpets? Here’s the ad for WAGMan:
Are you worried about your footballer playing away? Are you anxious that other women are trying to seduce YOUR man? Well, worry no more. Hire Ryan Giggs and turn that secretary/ marketing rep/ translator / Big Brother contestant / MP / mum off men for good! Call 0800-ID-SUPERINJUNCTION-THAT!! NOW!!!!!!
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Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)
Barcelona Outplay Manchester United To Win Champions League: 50 Photos
BARCELONA win the Champions League. Manchesdter United were outplayed. It wasn’t even close:
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Imogen Thomas ‘Strips’ For Manchester United
HATS off to Imogen Thomas and Paddy Power for creating an advert in which the topless stunna linked to Ryan Giggs wears a Manchester United top alongside the command ” BLOW ME!”
The advert is intended to get you placing bets on the UEFA Champions League final at Wembley between Giggs’ United and Barcelona.
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Posted: 28th, May 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comments (3)
Imogen Thomas Is ‘Dead’: Ryan Giggs’ Babe Sacrifices Herself For Champions League Final
CAN the Daily Express combine topless stunna Imogen Thomas and The Champions’ League final between Ryan Giggs’ Manchester United and Barcelona into one story?
Well, it can try…
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Manchester United Players Work As Trolley Dollies On Turkish Airlines: Video
WAYNE Rooney, Nani, Darren Fletcher, Chris Smalling and the twins are shilling for Turkish Airlines, appearing in a pre-flight safety video. Nani gets to fall over and behave like a child. Give the casting agent a gong:
Spotter: Karen
Imogen Thomas Wants To Protect Her Kids: Oh, The Irony
THREE papers are sticking with Ryan Giggs. The Star says Thomas is off to see her lawyer. And, no, that’s not because she’s sleeping with him. The Mirror leads with (HE’S STILL MY MAN”). It’s Stacey Cooke, aka Mrs Giggsy, who says she will not leave her footballer. It’s odd that a woman whose husband allegedly wanted to keep the story of his alleged infidelity out of the papers should talk to the Mirror?
The paper reports:
Just days before he and his Man United teammates take on Barcelona in the Champions League final, heartbroken Stacey Cooke told him: “Go out there and play the game of your life.”
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The Ryan Giggs Guide To Killing A Sex Story
ONE day on from Ryan Giggs appearing on the front page of ten national newspapers, the Manchester United footballer John Hemming MP named in Parliament as the married footballer exposed on Twitter as having an injunction over an alleged affair with reality TV star Imogen Thomas, is one just two front pages.
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Did Secret Tyrant Ryan Giggs Break The United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights?
RYAN Gigg’s private life is now an animated video. Before you see it, we bring you a few notes from Article 19 of the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights – the one Great Britain helped to write to avoid future tyrannies after World War 2:
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
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Lawyers Sell New Magnificent-Injunctions: Ryan Giggs Offered Discount
SUPER-INJUNCTIONS are going cheap at your local law firm. Manchester United player Ryan Giggs is rumoured to be negotiating a two-for-one cash back offer on any future injunctions.
His last alleged super-injunction turned out to be faulty, lasting only a few weeks before breaking.
Which is why legal eagles ensure us that the new improved Magnificent–Injunction will last TWICE as long as the old super-injunction model and feature women with BIGGER tits and possibly an identical TWIN sister you can shag behind your wife’s back with impunity.
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Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (8)
Manchester United And Legendary Ryan Giggs Win 12th Premier League Title: Great Photos
HATS of to Manchester United for winning the Premier League for the 12th time. We’ve got great photos of the post-match ceremony: the fireworks; the fans; Alex Ferguson; the players medals; and the wives and kids on the pitch – such as the legendary 12-Premiership title winner Ryan Giggs, his wife Stacey Cooke, son Zach and daughter Liberty; and Wayne Rooney having his photo taken by the fragrant Coleen. It is epic stuff in a season of ups and downs, and ins and outs. Enjoy.
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