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Posts Tagged ‘Baby’

Killer Spider In Battle To The Death With Kent Tot (Or, Er, Not)

WE told you the best way to eradicate invasive species is to eat them:

capturestar-1-329x437

 

PS: Of course, this being the Daily Star, the story is that “little Ava Shephard” did not eat the “flesh-eating arachnid in Kennington, Kent. But she might have eaten a false black widow, and that’s why it’s front-page news…

PPS: No one has ever died of a spider bite in the UK.

Other than that the story is correct.

Posted: 18th, October 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Baby gives birth to its own twin (video)

Xiao FengWANNA puke? Well, doctors in China discovered a two-year-old boy who was carrying an undeveloped foetus inside his stomach. Yes, really.

Xiao Feng had to undergo an operation to ‘give birth’ to his own parasitic twin.

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Posted: 1st, October 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)


The greatest way to sell a baby we’ve ever seen

HOW do you sell babies / peaches / carrier bags? Like this:

baby sells

 

 

Spotter: Danny Wallace

Posted: 22nd, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Kate Middleton: The most hateful Royal baby souvenirs

DUCHESS Catherine Windsor, nee Kate Middleton, is expecting a baby. The excitement outside the maternity wards at London’s St Mary’s hospital is at fever pitch. They are there to stare. But not only stare. Some subjects have prepared gifts. Let’s take a look at them:

 

Yummy Ma’am

 

kate middleton baby

 

With the big Royal Event of the year hotly anticipated, we love these delightful designs by David Luff. They offer a very affectionate celebration of the new Royal Baby.

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Posted: 5th, July 2013 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment


Incredible image of a baby born but still inside the amniotic sac

SOME images are just incredible. Thanks to a Greek doctor and his camera, we get to see this memorable image taken dyring a caesarian section. Oddly, the amniotic sac remained intact as the birth progressed. The baby is no longer in the womb but continues to take oxygen and sustenance from the placenta.

caesarian section wow

 

The baby is doing well.

Posted: 24th, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Technology | Comment


Belly laughs: watch men feel the pain of child birth!

SOME men, as we know, are utter arseholes. They mock period pains and child labour and say they could handle it all with ease. This of course, encourages a certain arsehole kind of woman who sneers about ‘man-flu’ and such.

However, child birth clearly tops the lot. Not only do you have the dreadful pain, but also, the hormonal mentalness and the vaginal tearing. And probably the pooing everywhere while you sit naked in a room filled with strangers.

No fun.

And so, to two fellas who gamely decided to experience simulated labour pains. Mercifully, someone was on hand to film it all. Women who have given birth to babies conceived by gittish husbands, now’s your time to laugh.

“I’m telling you right now, I felt like I was having a baby,” stated one volunteer. The other said: “Mom, if anything that I just experienced was anywhere close to what I did to you all those years ago, I’m sorry. You’re like a superhero.”

Have a butchers.

We’ve been here before:

Pregnant man poster

Photo: The pregnant man poster, issued by the Health Education Council. Such posters are being distributed in their thousands to persuade men to seek advice on contraception. Dr Bill Jones, Director General of the Health Education Council said “We want to make any ignorant or unthinking man stop and consider the suffering and problems he can cause through an unplanned pregnancy”. Date: 11/03/1970

Posted: 16th, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment


Cristiano Ronaldo won’t celebrate because he’s sad

REMEMBER when Cristiano Ronaldo was at Manchester United and compared himself to a ‘slave’ because he wanted to go to Real Madrid, where he ended up anyway? That was fun wasn’t it? Almost as fun as the fact ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE ever mentions the fact he somehow acquired a son (Cristiano Ronaldo Jr, naturally) without seeming to shag anyone.

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Posted: 3rd, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment


Justin Bieber uses rape and Borat to taunt ‘baby-momma’ Mariah Yeeter

PERHAPS it shouldn’t be surprising that Justin Bieber is acting like a giant baby lately, what with him being a professional gyrating toddler. However, that’s exactly what he’s doing, shouting ‘NYAH NYAH N’NYAH NYAAAAH!‘ at Mariah Yeater from his twitter account.

Now, if you don’t remember who Yeater is, she’s the girl who claims to have had sex with JB after one of his shows, which of course, resulted in a baby.

And so, probably drunk off Skittles, Bieber randomly decided to throw some abuse her way and not one of his ‘people’ decided to advise him otherwise.

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Posted: 23rd, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Stacey Solomon smokes through pregnancy and gets shouted at by the whole world

THICK but nice. That’s what everyone thinks of Stacey Solomon isn’t it? You wouldn’t trust her to perform eye-surgery but you would absolutely let her meet your nana. She’s unswervingly sweet but not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.

Well, unsurprisingly, Stacey’s gone and done a thick. Yessir, she got snapped smoking fags while she has a baby growing inside her. Now, that may have been one measly cigarette in the whole 9 months (she’s 7 months gone), which would’ve done little-to-no damage, but that matters not. The press demand that mothers make no mistakes. EVER.

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Posted: 6th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Robot babies are coming to get you ( video)

ROBOT babies are coming to get you. He’s got his mother’s eye… his father left arm… grandma’s liver…

Sleep tight…

Spotter: mefi, the Daily What

Posted: 24th, January 2012 | In: Technology | Comment


Victoria’s Secret supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio is pregnant, okay? (Photos)

WHEN famous, attractive people like Victoria’s Secret Alessandra Ambrosio get pregnant, we’re all supposed to be thrilled for them. It’s a good thing to let them think that this is the case because it means they’ll continue to be needy for the rest of their lives, finding new ways to get our attention.

However, we don’t really care. What we do like is good looking humans in states of undress. Yeah, Demi Moore shared her babybump with us all, but really, everyone was looking for a bit of areola.

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Posted: 28th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Natalie Cassidy: OK, All I Need For Christmas Is A Ho Ho Ho (No Pun Intended)

SKY News reported today on how a recent study has shown that “new mothers are turning to alcohol because they feel under pressure to be super Mums”. They didn’t actually say where the study came from which made me wonder if they just made it up or if the source of their story came from this week’s OK! magazine?

In an interview published in OK! today Natalie Cassidy talks of her use of alcohol while bringing up her daughter Eliza.

The clue to just how cheesy this interview gets comes in the main picture which shows Natalie taking a tray of freshly made mince pies from her grubby oven whilst perching ginger haired Eliza on her hip.

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Posted: 13th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Massive Baby Named Jihad Born In Berlin (Photos)

GET a load of little Jihad. The 6-kilogramme (13-pound) boy born to 40-year-old Elfi at Berlin’s Charité hospital.

Doctors says that the massive size of Jihad can be attributed to his mum’s gestational gestational diabetes.

The Local tells readers:

Such newborns are often delivered via caesarean section because they can suffer from oxygen deficiency or shoulder dislocations during birth.

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Posted: 27th, November 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Bieber Paternity Case Takes A Kicking With Incriminating Text Messages: Mariah Yeater Meets John

THERE’S a whole host of reports floating around about the paternity case involving Justin Bieber and Mariah Yeater, some of which say that everything’s been dropped while others note that DNA tests are still go.

However, TMZ have broken some news which may show what really happened.

Sadly for those of you who really wanted Bieber to have sired a child with a backstage 30 second fumble, it doesn’t look good. Alas, pictures shown allegedly show Yeater to be pulling a fast one.

Through images of text messages sent, Mariah Yeater seems to have asked a friend to erase an incriminating text that says that her mother is under the impression the baby belongs to someone who isn’t Bieber.

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Posted: 17th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Justin Bieber Finally Says That The Kid Is Not His

LIKE the lyrics of Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’, Justin Bieber is at pains to point out that the kid is not his son. The kid in question, of course, being the one that 20-year-old Mariah Yeater says Bieber put inside her after a show.

If you missed it, Yeater said that Bieber rode bareback because it was his “first time” and that he “wanted to feel everything.”

And now, Bieber has finally come out and spoken about the claim in explicit terms. He said, to Matt Lauer on Today:

“Never met the woman. I’d just like to say, basically, that none of those allegations are true.”

“I know that I’m going to be a target, but I’m never going to be a victim.”

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Posted: 4th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lauryn Hill Has Sixth Child, But No More Music And Seeks Privacy On Twitter

REMEMBER when Lauryn Hill was one of the most thrilling popstars on the planet. She could rap like a champ and had a voice that came straight outta Soulsville. Basically, she was the Fugees. When she went solo, she only went about making one of the finest LPs ever cut to wax.

And then she vanished like a big selfish baby.

While we all cowered around our copies of Doo Wop (That Thing), she went and pushed out Zion David-Nesta, Selah, Joshua, John and Sarah with on/off beau, Rohan Marley.

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Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pink Has A Baby Girl On Twitter: Willow Sage Hart Photos

PINK has always defined herself by what she’s isn’t. She’s not some stupid girl, she’s not shallow, she’s not like ‘them’, she’s ‘fragile’, she’s… well… incredibly ordinary if the truth be told.

You see, while passing herself off as this outsider who managed to win over the mainstream, she’s actually just like every other singer out there who thinks that her personal life is in some way special to us all. She’s told everyone about her sexuality, her break-ups and rows and now we’re going to hear aaaalll about her new baby girl, which was planted in Pink’s womb by husband Carey Hart.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (18)


Kate Hudson Talks About Why She Loves Rodent Faced Muse Singer

AWFUL prog band, Muse, have inexplicably become one of the biggest bands on the planet. With this fame, singer Matt Bellamy has even managed to bag himself a glamorous gal in the shape of Kate Hudson. That’s Kate ‘the fit one from Almost Famous and daughter of Goldie Hawn’ Hudson to you.

And somehow, Bellamy has even convinced her to have a child with him.

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Posted: 19th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Zsa Zsa Gabor And Husband Are Going To Try And Have A Baby (Yeah, Like That’ll Happen)

HAVE you seen Zsa Zsa Gabor lately? If not, let us give it to you bluntly – she’s 94-years-old, is riddled with illness and only has one leg after she got the gangrene cut out of her. Okay? Now, digest this next piece of information – she’s trying for a baby.

That’s right, despite being barely alive, Zsa Zsa Gabor and her spouse Prince Frederic von Anhalt (an amazing name, granted) went to a Beverly Hills fertility clinic to fulfil her dream of them having a child.

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Posted: 15th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Victoria Beckham Tackles Grief Head-On After Pram Tragedy

OUR world is a frightening and relentlessly cruel place. Each time a decent and talented person like Victoria Beckham tries to take one step forward in this crushing, unloving planet of ours, there’s something unimaginably horrible to make her inconsolable with grief, making her question her will to stay alive.

The latest tragedy to befall Posh will leave you, dear reader, with a palpable sense of injustice in the world.

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Posted: 6th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (12)


The Laughing Baby Is A Creative Accountant: Video

THE Laughing baby has a good future as a creative accountant. In this video she rips up the bank statements:

Spotter: Karen

Posted: 2nd, March 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Unborn Baby Gives Parents The Thumbs Up

WHEN Donna Sayer saw her baby on an ultrasound at Kent and Canterbury Hospital, The Fonz or Caesar, as the little lamb must be called, gave her the thumbs up.

Yeah, readers. The kidz are alright…

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Posted: 5th, February 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment


James Van Der Beek’s Daughter Olivia Arrives In A Vacuum

JAMES Van Der Beek (Dawson’s Creek star emeritus) would like us to look at Olivia. Mum Kimberly says James named his new daughter “after our special tree”.

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Posted: 12th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Mother Sonal Waghela Faints At Sight Of ‘Alien’ Baby

THE mother, Sonal Waghela, fainted when she saw her baby – that looks, to some, like an alien.

At Dr Hiren Thumer’s clinic in Gondal, Gujarat, India,  Sonal Waghela passed out cold the first time she saw her child, whose head alone weighs 2.15 kg (women may well wince). His condition is a result of water collecting inside his brain.

The child is not being breastfed; he is being spoonfed mother’s milk.

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Posted: 12th, January 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment


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