Bad Science | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘Bad Science’

The Secret To A Happy Marriage Is Fear, Animals And A Hairy Back

divorce-cakeA REPORT in the Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology says the recipe for a stable home life is to marry an agricultural engineer, optometrists, dentists, a member of the clergy or a podiatrist.

They stay with their partners longest because they are, in order: living on a remote farm with no livestock; spending time with the elderly; depressed; fearful of being watched and judged; and only ever see feet.

If you want volatility marry a dancer, choreographers, bartenders, massage therapist, or telephone operator. Phone operators make unreliable lovers – for them, the thrill is in being engaged. Geddit?!

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Posted: 23rd, November 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Organic Is Now Classified As A Religion

organic-kosherANORAK is an organic publication but – WARNING! – it does come into contact with non-organic organs. The advise from the the Federation Of Organic Discples is that you order two computers – one for organic and one for non-organic.  Organic being the new religion.

Jennifer Jacquet supplies us with this sign displayed at her local Vancouver market, which is owned by Whole Foods:

“Dear customers: Please be advised that our Bread Slicer is used for both Organic and Conventional items”

Jacquet wants to know: “Are You an Eco-Douchebag?

Your answer may well depend on how you respond to the sign.

A) Do you clack your marmalade–coated tongue and sneer (which is your sole purpose in going into a branch of Whole Foods).

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Posted: 31st, August 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Marijuana Saves Binge Drinkers’ From Brain Damage

refer-beerDID you know that if you smoke enough marijuana it will protect the brain from binge drinking? Well it might. So says the science.

At the University of California San Diego, boffins examiend three groups of 16- to 19-year-olds:

A) Binge drinkers.

B) Binge drinkers who also smoke cannabis.

C) Those who neither drink nor puff, or so they tell mum and dad. The control group, otherwise known as future politicans.

The binge drinkers ‘s brains had damage to their white matter.

But those who drink and smoke showed more damage than the control group in only three of eight areas of the brain.

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Posted: 30th, August 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Study: Men Who Do Housework Attract More Women, Fewer Beatings

naked-cleanerStudy: Men Who Do Housework Attract More Women, Fewer Beatings


According to a new international study by researchers at Oxford University, men who agreed to perform housework and cleaning chores were 43.2% more successful in attracting a long-term female marriage or cohabitation partner. The study further showed that after winning his lady’s hand, these same men received fewer and less severe beatings when they continued household duties.

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Posted: 7th, August 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Noisy Sex Cause Neighbours To Leave Home

noisy-sexNOISY sexy is causing grief to Marc and Lisa Thompson, who “could be forced to move out of their home in Finstock, Oxfordshire, because of their new neighbours’ noisy lovemaking.

The Thompsons say they have been woken repeatedly in the night since the amorous middle-aged couple moved next door to their home five weeks ago. Their seven-year-old daughter India even had to switch bedrooms to escape the din, which her parents claim is an invasion of their privacy.

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Posted: 9th, July 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Scare Stories: Thinking Positive Makes You Feel Terrible

THE Ultimate Media Scare Story goes something like this:

REPEATING positive statements such as ‘I am a lovable person’ or ‘I will succeed’ makes some people feel worse about themselves instead of raising their self-esteem, a study says.”

That’s right – thinking positive thoughts makes life worse for you.

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Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Scientists Say Sex Increases Chances Of Pregnancy

pregnant-sexIN today’s science class, a Dr David Greening, from Sydney IVF, tells delegates at the European Society for Human Reproduction and Embryology that sex increases the chance of getting pregnant:

Having sex every day improves sperm quality and could boost the chances of getting pregnant, research suggests.

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Posted: 1st, July 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Nazi Cows Being Bred In Britain

nazi-cowBEWARE of the cows. Beware of the Nazi cows. Roaring cows are not only attacking Britons, and poisoning our Great British air over our Great British countryside, but now they have a political affiliation. Hail the “Nazi cows”!

Says the BBC:

The Heck calf was born at a farm in Lifton which imported more than a dozen of the animals from Amsterdam as part of a conservation project. The herd is descended from cattle specifically bred by Nazi scientists between the world wars to be used as a symbol of ambitions to rule the world.

The cows. Always the cows. Hail the 1000 year ranch!

Farmer and conservationist Derek Gow has the cattle as part of a wildlife photography business.

Hail the model cow!

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Posted: 25th, June 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)

New Heavy Element 112 Named After Oprah Winfrey

periodic-table-112SCIENTIFIC news so rarely deals in facts, sticking to half-observed research studies and student papers, that news of a new element to add to the periodic table is genuinely scientific.

All hail “super-heavy” element 112, discovered team of German scientists has been credited with its discovery.

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Posted: 11th, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Scientists Build Inflatable Tower That Reaches Edge Of Space

inflatable-rocketIN New Scientist, news of an inflatable tower that “could carry people to the edge of space without the need for a rocket”.

It’s the ultimate inflatable toy and “could be completed much sooner than a cable-based space elevator”.

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Posted: 9th, June 2009 | In: Technology | Comments (3)

Bad Science: NASA Says Sun Can Make Climate Hot

hand-of-godBAD Science is not always about securing a research grant or explaining to the Dean what you’ve been up to all year. Bad science is about licking a finger, sticking it in the air and noting that it gets dry when it’s not raining, and wet when it is.

A study from NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland looking at climate data over the past century has concluded that solar variation has made a significant impact on the Earth’s climate. The report concludes that evidence for climate changes based on solar radiation can be traced back as far as the Industrial Revolution.

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Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

London 2012: Drugs Make Fat People Exercise More

olympic-drugsHEADLINE of the day in the Telegraph, where hope is made new for Britons vying for gold at the Olympics 2012:

“Drugs ‘could make people more willing to exercise’.”


Drugs like alcohol which induces people to walk, often to a pub or off licence.

Drugs like cannabis that cause track-suited lads on pushbikes to peddle fast through provincial estates, sometimes chased by other men on pushbikes…

Drugs like “e” which passed from hand to hand like a baton that no-one dare drop.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Curry Fights Dementia

edwina_currieTHE wonder of tabloid science tells us that eating a curry once or twice a week “could” help prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Or, er, could not.

Professor Murali Doraiswamy, of Duke University in North Carolina, said there was evidence that people who eat a curry meal two or three times a week have a lower risk of dementia.

Those that eat more than two or three curries a week lower the risk of constipation.

Professor Doraiswamy told the meeting:

“There is very solid evidence that curcumin binds to plaques, and basic research on animals engineered to produce human amyloid plaques has shown benefits.”

“You can modify a mouse so that at about 12 months its brain is riddled with plaques.

“If you feed this rat a curcumin-rich diet it dissolves these plaques. The same diet prevented younger mice from forming new plaques.

“The next step is to test curcumin on human amyloid plaque formation using newer brain scans and there are plans for that.”

Can’t surge with the science. He goes on:

“If you have a good diet and take plenty of exercise, eating curry regularly could help prevent dementia.”

So you need to jog to the curry house?

Professor Doraiswamy predicted it might be possible to develop a curry pill which had the same therapeutic effect.

Just add lager…

Remembering Abdul Latif Of Curry Hell

Non-Vegetable Curry

Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (7)

Termites Cause Global Warming

termite-castleHOW many termites does it take to produce the same methne volume as one adult cow? Anorak took that to the reseach fund council and – dash! – found that the gig has already been taken:

The Australian Government’s effort to comprehensively account for all greenhouse gas emissions has now turned its attention to the tiniest of creatures – termites.

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Posted: 26th, May 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Swine Flu Mutates To Ducks

duck-fluDUCKS are big news right now. Swine flu has yet to mutate into duck flu. The big duck news is to do with – get this – bills. It’s Swine Fever.

There’s Sir Peter Viggers, the Tory MP, who claimed a £1,645 “duck island” on expenses.

Pay your bill!

Then coems news of an Oxford university stiody intio whther ducks: a ) like water; c) like water a lot; c) really like water very much indeed.

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Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Ban The Jade Goody Cervical Cancer Vaccine

vaccine-cancer-cervicalCAN a newspaper like the Daily Mail be both for and against the same science, the HPV cancer vaccine? Well, yes. What would Jade Goody say?

As Martin notes on LayScience:

The Daily Mail: Campaigning both For AND Against the HPV Vaccine in Different Countries Simultaneously

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Posted: 22nd, April 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Talking Dirty Makes You Impotent

talking-dirty-makes-you-impotentGENNADY Cheurin of the Russian town of Yekaterinburg, research manager of the Center of Ecological Safety, says talking dirty leads to impotence.

Says he:

“Men were allowed to use these words only 16 days a year. Afterwards, it was strictly prohibited to use them. So whenever men use these sacred words for no reason in their daily life, this immediately leads to sexual dysfunctions, i.e. impotence. If a woman uses these words in her daily speech, she slowly begins transforming into a man.”

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Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Susan Boyle And A Female Hairiness Health Warning

MEDIA SCARE story of the day comes via the BBC, where hairy women lean of the “ Female hairiness health warning”. Can Susan Boyle, aka ‘The Hairy Angel‘, be worked into the story? Read on…

No only are hairy women hairy but they are about to die horribly, choking on their hair ball or being prodded with sharp sticks by angry villagers.

Excessive hairiness in women is not just a cosmetic problem but is likely to be a sign of an underlying medical condition, say UK doctors in a report. Five to 15% of women have excess hair, and a hormone disorder is the most likely cause in many cases, they said.

Women with the problem should not be afraid to seek medical advice, the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists report urged.

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Posted: 17th, April 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (34)

Catlin Arctic Survey Researchers Contract Urban Hypothermia

WHAT news from The Catlin Arctic Survey – “the international collaboration between polar explorers and some of the world’s foremost scientific bodies. It seeks to resolve one of the most important environmental questions of our time” – ?

The mission: “How long will the Arctic Ocean’s sea ice cover remain a permanent feature of our planet?

Take a pew.

The report:

In disadvantaged inner cities it’s known in medical circles as Urban Hypothermia. GPs adopted the term after seeing an increase, during winter, of elderly patients who have switched off their heating, fearful of the cost, and become ill as a result because of the cold.

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Posted: 8th, April 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Women Hate The Tata Nano

MORE cutting-edge scientific thought now as Dr Michael Dunn, of the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff and his team of researchers, discover that women prefer men with an expensive car.

Page 1 of the Carma Sutra.

The boffins showed women aged 21 to 40 pictures of the same man sitting in two cars – a £70,000 silver Bentley Continental and a battered Ford Fiesta.

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Posted: 25th, March 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (6)

The Secrets Of Belly Button Fluff Discovered: Bluff Science

FOR years Dr Georg Steinhauser, of the Vienna University of Technology, has toiled at the coalface of science and now he can tell the world about a body hair that traps stray pieces of lint and pulls them into the navel.

Dr Steinhauser has studied 503 pieces of fluff from his own belly button.

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Posted: 28th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)

The Top Ten Funniest Sounds: And Funny Flatulence

WHAT kind of farting makes you laugh. Answer: your own.

What else make you laugh? Answer: someone else experiencing unexpected pain.

Trevor Cox, an acoustics professor at Salford University, in is conducting a whoopee cushion experiment to discover which sounds make us laugh the most.

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Posted: 19th, February 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)

Smells Of The World: BO, Impaler And Scents From The UN

SMELL that? In Switzerland, it is the smell of civic pride:

A Swiss research group says a study it conducted found that women’s underarms typically smell like onions, while men’s smell like cheese.

So much for the Swiss, a nation of Nazis, melted cheese on sticks and assisited suicide. It’s the Swiss signature scent that tells Milanese it’s a north wind that blows.

What of the rest of the nations? What do we smell of?

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Posted: 30th, January 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Australia Is Literally Teeming With Endangered Species

IN Australia logging is being brought to a halt. Creatures. Lots of them:

AUSTRALIAN Greens Leader Bob Brown and environment groups have called for a halt to logging in Victoria’s East Gippsland area after the discovery of several endangered species….

Environment East Gippsland spokeswoman Jill Redwood said the Orbost spiny crayfish, endangered sooty and powerful owls and a large population of greater gliders were discovered at the weekend.

The place is literally teeming with endangered species,’’ Ms Redwood said.

None of which is a green activist…

Posted: 29th, January 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

The Damage To A Footballer’s Brain

AMERICAN footballers have brains. Really. Dr. Ann McKee, co-director of the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy (CSTE), has looked between the ears of American football players and found evidence of brain action:

What’s been surprising is that (the damage is) so extensive. It’s throughout the brain, not just on the superficial aspects of the brain, but it’s deep inside.”

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Posted: 27th, January 2009 | In: Sports | Comment