Film Category
Includes cinema reviews and trailers for upcoming films. A digest of the best and worst interviews on movies and cinema.
Leslie William Nielsen RIP: Good Luck. We’re All Counting On You
LESLIE William Nielsen is dead.
And when a star dies the other stars who want to be associated with his death get on Twitter to offer their condolences and muscle on the mourn porn.
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Ingrid Pitt RIP: A Life In Photos And Bloody Teeth
RIP Ingrid Pitt, Hammer Films’ Queen of Horror and all-girl vampire lust who died today aged 73. Her moment of death had some drama: the Polish-born star collapsed on her way to an event hosted by members of her fan club.
Her daughter Steffanie told says her mother was the vampire countess with the “wonderful teeth and the wonderful bosom“.
The woman born Ingoushka Petrov in 1937 to a German father and Jewish mother spent time in a concentration camp. She went on to live a vivacious life as the great entertainer…
Isabella Rossellini’s Nature Porn Video: Flip-Off With Flipper
ISABELLA Rossellini wants to show the world how dophins have sex. Those perverts are at it all the time. Well, it’s the spare hole and the latex suits. We’ve seen the anchovies at it. We’ve seen how these things do it. We’ve seen how the bugs do it.
Now let’s see Flip-Off With Flipper does it:
· Green Porno (sundancechannel.com)
Tebaatusasula: Even The Jeep Bleeds (Ugandan Epic Action Video)
TEBAATUSASULA is the Ugandan action film you have been wanting for. Unless you are a homosexual, in which case they are coming for you!
Even the jeep bleeds!
The film is made by Ramon Productions:
The company has approximately 30 members in general who play various distinct roles with determination to achieve the present goals.
Not starring Nedžad Kličić!
Not starring fat Jew on ‘shrooms!
Blubberella: Uwe Boll’s New Hitler Vampire Comedy
BLUBBERELLA is Uwe Boll’s new film. It’s about a plus-sized vampire who kills Nazis. We last saw his work in a Death Camp cook-’em-up.
Spotter: EW.com
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo: Hollywood Remakes It Better
NIELS Arden Oplev, director of the orgianl screen verison of Stieg Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Oplev is not happy with the Hollywood version. For one thing, he’s not directing it. For another Noomi Rapace is unlikely to reprise her role as Lisbeth Salander. Rooney Mara is looking to gt the nod. He tells Word & Film:
“The only thing that’s annoying to me is that the Sony PR machine is trying to make their Lisbeth Salander the lead Lisbeth Salander. That’s highly unfair because Noomi has captured this part and it should always be all her. That’s her legacy in a way I can’t see anyone competing with.
“I hope she gets nominated for an Oscar. I know a lot of Academy members have seen the film and liked it because every time I go to LA I meet so many people who have seen my version of it. Even in Hollywood there seems to be a kind of anger about the remake, like, ‘Why would they remake something when they can just go see the original?’ Everybody who loves film will go see the original one.
“It’s like, what do you want to see, the French version of La Femme Nikita or the American one? You can hope that Fincher does a better job.”
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Obama Is An African: And Other Great Bootleg DVD Covers (Gallery)
BOOTLEG DVDs are only exceeded in kwality by their covers. Birthers will love “OBAMA: African In The White House”. What of Buffalo Soldiers, the review for which tells us: “Irritating and toothless.” There’s a Lord of Ring – Harry Potter mash-up, for when one huge film is not enough…
Posted: 9th, November 2010 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Amy Childs Does the Jackass 3D Premier: Photos
AMY Childs is the Star of The Only Way In Essex, a fictionalised fly-in-the-tanning-gel look at Essex youth.
This show has already earned some great reviews, like this from the BBC’s Denise Winterman:
It’s [Essex] arguably the most-maligned 1,300 square miles in the UK.
Well, yes – arguably. And Newcastle is a different shape.
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Bruce Springsteen Photos: The Promise: The Making Of Darkness On The Edge Of Town
BRUCE Springsteen was at the screening of The Promise: The Making Of Darkness On The Edge Of Town at the BFI Southbank in London. The film is the story of how ‘The Boss’ wrote 70 songs for his famous album. Fans will love it. After the trailer a collection of pictures from the star now and when he was in his pomp…
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The 54th BFI London Film Festival In Photos: Kiera Knightley’s Fan And James Franco’s Arm
THE 54th BFI London Film Festival Awards in Photos: James France (*stoned?), Julianna Moore in two dresses at once; Kiera Knightley; Isla Fisher looking buxom; Hilary Swank meeting the fan; and all the best bits of the film show…
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Buy Darth Vader’s Actual Star Wars Out For Halloween (Photos)
IT’S not too late to buy Darth Vader’s original costume in time for Halloween (2011) or the Christmas party. The Star Wars outfit was made for The Empire Strikes Back in 1980. One small issue – it’s expected to sell for up to £230,000 at Christie’s showroom in South Kensington, London. You might to be a bit more creative. Fetch the toilet role tubes…
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The Chilean Miners Film Trailer: Bobsleigh To San Jose
THE film about the 33 Chilean miners’ rescue from the San Jose mine is in the making.
The merchandise is being showcased.
The uphill bobsleigh team is being made ready for the winter Olympics.
All we need is a title. And who plays Yonni Barrios?
Your suggestions, please…
Action:
Posted: 22nd, October 2010 | In: Film | Comments (3)
Hilary Swank Dazzles At Conviction Premiere: Oscar’s In The Bag
54th BFI London Film Festival: Two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank dazzled with a nod to Jimmy Savile’s love of gold lamé at the premiere of Conviction. This one might give Swank another Oscar.
It’s based on the true story of Betty Anne Waters, who devoted her life to freeing her brother, whom she believes has been falsely convicted of murder. Says Swank: “You don’t have any control over (awards), so you just do your work.” But you do get to pick the scripts…
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Vince Vaughn’s Gay Gag Video: Cinema’s Goers Get Remote Controls To SKIP, MUTE And PAUSE Best And Worst Bits
VINCE Vaughn wants the gays to lighten up and take the joke at their expense. In his new film, The Dilemma,Vaughn’s character – who like Vauhgn is white and straight – says:
“Ladies and gentlemen, electric cars are gay. I mean, not ‘homosexual’ gay but ‘my parents are chaperoning the dance’ gay.”
That was the film’s trailer. Anyone who found it funny and wanted to see the film on the strength of the gag alone will be disappointed to learn that the joke has been expunged from the film’s new trailer (original one is below).
Presumably, the joke still exists in the film. But we reserve the right to be offended and call on cinemas to equip each person in the auditorium with a remote control. If over half press “SKIP GAY“, the gag will be skipped. The system will be adapted for other films – a “PAUSE” button for nude scenes; a “REWIND” button for, er, nude scenes you might have missed; and a “MUTE” for Mel Gibson’s lines.
It’s a huge media shitstorm into which CNN’s Anderson cooper (gay) wades in on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”:
“I was sitting … in a movie theater over the weekend, and there was a preview of a movie, and in it the actor said, ‘That’s so gay.’ And I was shocked … not only that they put that in the movie, but that they put that in the preview, they thought that was okay to put it in the preview to the movie to get people to go and see it. We gotta do something to make those words … unacceptable, ’cause those words are hurting kids.”
Gay-rights organization GLAAD also weighed in on the controversy. GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios says.
“The use of the word ‘gay’ in this trailer as a slur is unnecessary and does nothing more than send a message of intolerance about our community to viewers.”
What says Vince Vaughn, star of films watched by people who don’t see or crave meaning in anything? Well, (via Deadline):
“Let me add my voice of support to the people outraged by the bullying and persecution of people for their differences, whatever those differences may be. Comedy and joking about our differences breaks tension and brings us together. Drawing dividing lines over what we can and cannot joke about does exactly that; it divides us. Most importantly, where does it stop.”
Gays jokes bind people and communities. Vince has spoken.
To your keypads, viewers. The Dilemma is on. Press the “SHOULD HAVE SEEN SOMETHING ELSE” button now!
Vaughn wants the gays to lighten up and take the joke at their expense. In his new film, The Dilemma,
Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: Film | Comments (2)
Keira Knightley And Carey Mulligan Never Let Me Go Red Carpet Photos
KEIRA Knightley, Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield rocked up for the European premiere of Never Let Me Go at the Odeon Leicester Square, London. Knightley once told Allure magazine:
“I hate red-carpet events; I absolutely hate them. I don’t like the fact that people write, ‘Oh, you look like crap’ in print. Or ‘I don’t like your arms!’ ”
“I’m not Wonder Woman. I have self-esteem problems. Everybody does. You know, skinny people are allowed to feel shit about themselves.
“I haven’t got a clue about how much I weigh. I do not own any scales.”
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Posted: 13th, October 2010 | In: Film | Comments (3)
Russell Brand Wears Tom Cruise’s Killer Heels At Despicable Me Premier (Photos)
TO the premier of the cartoon film Despicable Me at the Empire, Leicester Square, London. Russell Brand give voice to a character called Dr Nefario, a criminal mastermind.
He also wore a pair of short stilts on his feet – Tom Cruise own-brand – and was interviewed by Jenni Falconer, an experience akin to having your ear rubbed along a wet bubble of washing up liquid.
Also there were a cluster of celebrity liggers and… Anneka Tanaka-Svenska. We have no idea who she is and fining out will only spoil the thrill of a name dreamt up by a Nippon-Scandinavian law firm…
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The Amanda Knox Story: Hayden Panettiere And Colin Firth Debate The Entertaining Murder
HAYDEN Panettiere is to portray Meredith Kercher’s murderer Amanda Knox in a chocolate box film TV called The Amanda Knox Story. In what still passes for reality, Raffaele Sollecito, Rudy Guede and Knox sexually assaulted Kercher and slashed the British girl’s throat with a knife in Perugia. That was way, way, way back in 2007.
Amanda Knox: ‘Shit Happens’ When A Stranger Strikes
Knox got 26 years jail – Sollecito was sentenced to 25 years while Guede got 30 years. Guede, who is black and from the Ivory Coast has not been heard of. But Knox, who is blonde and American, is a cause celebre for anyone wanting to bash the Italians and tap into a bit of sexy-drug-fulled scandal.
So. Can a young, fit, sexually active American be a murderer in a picturesque setting with coffee shops and an aqueduct? Well, yes.
Meredith Kercher Murder: Amanda Knox Says It’s Not ‘Fair’
Can a TV company make some cash and fiction from a girl’s brutal murder? Can it open up the story to a debate? Yes. It’s already begun. Get a load of this from the Telegraph:
Colin Firth is to play a journalist investigating the mystery surrounding the murder of British student Meredith Kercher.
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Posted: 10th, October 2010 | In: Film | Comments (2)
127 Hours Trailer: James Franco Is Cut And Alone With His Little Franco
JAMES Franco is the star of 127 Hours, the Hollywood-treated story of Aron Ralston, the climber who severed his own arm to escape being wedged in a mountain.
Franco is just about the most likable leading man right now. In the film, a bored and stressed Ralston masturbates. As is the way with all trite film interviews, the hack wonders how alike the star is to the character he plays. Franco amuses himself:
“So, when I’m alone, I do masturbate a lot. I don’t know why. It’s like you have those days where it’s just like, I have a ton of writing to do, or a ton of reading to do, and you’re just like, OK, I’m going to be on the couch all day or in bed all day just doing that… I tend to have a four- or five-time day. So, I probably would have if I was stuck under a rock.”
The Social Network Facebook Film Hits London: Photos
THE Social Network – aka the Facebook Movie – arrived in London. We went to see Aaron Sorkin, Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake at a photocall for The Social Network at the Dorchester. As for the film, The Daily Beast’s Rebecca Davis O’Brien, says the film’s women who serve Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg are “doting groupies, sexed-up Asians, vengeful sluts, or dumpy, feminist killjoys.” But not media whores? Why does the new media hate women as much as the old media?
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