Key Posts Category
But, John, Aren’t We All Scientologists Now?
ISN’T John Sweeney a poppet? I just loved his BBC1 Panorama documentary The Secrets of Scientology last night. Gamely, he used his sensational screaming ab-dabs rant from his last TV visit to the Church as evidence of how it had successfully riled him. That’s what Scientologists are good at apparently: making you mad so they can re-make you.
Well, try and re-make Madame Arcati. Yeah, go on, try. Fuck you bitches!
Yet Mr Sweeney did not entirely persuade me that Scientology is that much more worrying than your average 21st Century employer. After all, aren’t wage slaves these days required to demonstrate a quasi-religious fervour for their job that is not unlike cultish faith? Aren’t staff ‘audited’ in annual Personal Development Reviews?
I’m sure Scientologists don’t demand that their flock only spend a minute or two taking a piss.
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Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts | Comments (10)
David Jonathan Winkelman Is Tattoo Face Mugshot Of The Day
FACE tattoo mugshot of the day belongs to David Jonathan Winkelman of Iowa, USA. In 2000, Winkleman was tuned into KORB radio with his stepbrother Richard Goddard when he heard the DJ says that anyone prepared to tattoo the stations name on their forehead would get a six-figure cash sum.
Greatest Tattooed Mugshots Ever
Off to the tattooist they went. And soon they sported the legends “Quad City Rocker” and “93 Rock” etched on their faces. They went to claim their cash only to be told that the offer had been a joke. No cash. Sorry. They tried to sue but failed.
No big deal. But now Winkleman has been arrested on a misdemeanour charge of operating a motor vehicle without the owner’s consent and his mugshot is on the internet. And the radio station is famous all over again…
Tattoos – Lip Ones
The Best And Worst Fan Tattoos Ever
Tattoos – Weird And Stupid Ones
Tattoos – Retro Ones
Tattoos – On Your Arse
Tattoos – Super Heroes
Tattoos On Faces – The Mughsots
Tattoos: The Misspelled Ones
Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Irma Nici Calls David Beckham A ‘Whore’: Photos
IRMA Nici, aka Irma Nezirovic, is the prostitute who says she had sex with David Beckham and the tabloids have called a liar. No proof that she had sex with Beckhams has been offered up, nor evidence that he masturbated with own-brand, hotel-supplied cream (what – no Cream De Placenta and cashmere mitten?!). But the tabloids claim to know one thing for certain: Irma Nici is a liar.
Says Irma Nici:
“I very much look forward to my day in court and the opportunity to tell the truth. I will be completely vindicated and Mr Beckham will be seen for the manipulative whore he is.”
The Star says she is willing to take lie detector test.
HOOKER Irma Nici is willing to take a lie detector test over her claims of three-in-a-bed sex with David Beckham.
The Mail produces the headline:
“Beckham, the hooker… and the tawdry claims she CAN’T prove”
Readers hear the words of Los Angeles attorney Bert H. Deixler he sent to In Touch, the magazine that published Nici’s claims:
“Let me make it clear. The story you propose to run about Mr Beckham and a prostitute is a lie. The allegations are unequivocally denied.”
If the story is published then it would end in an “enormous damages award”.
“Once again I urge you in the strongest possible terms not to bring these lawsuits upon yourself.”
Is a threatening letter from a lawyer enough? Again we say that there is no evidence Beckham has had sex with Irma Nici. But what are lawyers for if not firing off threatening letters?
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Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)
Australia’s Next Top Model: Model Sarah Murdoch Announces Wrong Winner (Video)
KELSEY Martinovich is Australia’s next Top Model. Yayyy! Oops! Sorry. Host Sarah Murdoch makes a correction and says that Amanda Ware is the winner. Yep, Murdoch is a model. And the news is that some of them aren’t all that bright.
The story goes that this was not A-grade model bitchiness but “miscommunication“. Kelsey has been given a $25,000 apology and more fame than a win would have earned her.
Amanda gets $20,000 cash, an eight-page Harper’s Bazaar spread, a modeling contract, a $25,000 Levi’s campaign, a car, and a trip to New York.
Take second and be the gallant loser. Martinovich will win in the long term.
And look out for Murdoch’s face – the head and skin never move. That, my friend, is a model under pressure..
Spotter: Stylebrity
Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Rolling Stone Wife Jo Wood Is Beyond Parody On Her Indian Pilgrimage
JO Wood, estranged wife of Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood is on a “pilgrimage” across India. She’s keeping her diary in Hello!. It is beyond parody.
Having flown to India and then taken a connecting flight to Coimbatore, Jo writes:
“There are dogs and cows in the road, and crazy driving. I’ve arrived.”
She has not arrived at her journey’s end, rather Jo has rocked up to her ashram.
Jo heads to a “tree graveyard”. She is saluting Project Greenhands, which raises awareness for environmental issues.
Says Jo of the jet plane:
“I plant a little tree. It’s good to know I’ve given a plant life.”
Then a vignette that stands repeating. Green Jo is now in a car:
“…we pass a little old lady whose bent double as she shuffles along the road. Her flip-flops are worn through so I take off mine and give them to her. Her face lights up. It’s puts life into perspective for me. A pair of flip-flops means nothing to me, but to her they mean everything.”
Although a lift would be nice.
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Irma Nici And David Beckham: What Really Happened (Photos)
WHEN Irma Nici claimed to have had sex with Davie Beckham, the British tabloids all agreed that she was a “liar”. It is unclear why this should be the case.
A prostitute we do not know makes a claim in US magazine In Touch that she had had sex with the married Beckham and the papers call her story a “tissue of lies” (Mail), “brazen liar” (Sun), “hooker sex lies” (Star), “pack of lies” (News of The World) and more.
Bert Deixler, a spokesman for Beckham’s LA attorney, said:
“We would be very, very interested in seeing the results of a polygraph on this woman.”
Irma Nici was on the books of Kristin Davis, the madam who brought down New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, and who is now standing for that job on a ticket of legalised marijuana and prostitution. Davis says Irma is telling the truth.
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (7)
Dead Mouse In Oxford Man’s Loaf Of Hovis Bread: Photo
THERE’S a dead mouse in a loaf of Hovis bread Stephen Forse, of Kidlington, Oxfordshire, bought in the Bicester branch of Tesco’s.
He’d already used a few slices of the loaf in his children’s sandwiches before he noticed the meaty treat.
In Oxford Crown Court, Premier Foods are fined £5,500 and ordered to pay £11,109.47 in costs. It admitted not maintaining acceptable standards at its British Bakeries site in London.
Says Mr Forse:
“[I notived] a dark-coloured object embedded in the corner of three or four slices. Initially I thought it was where the dough had not mixed properly prior to baking. As I looked closer I saw that the object had fur on it.”
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Posted: 27th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (2)
Mrs Wang And Mr DeCock Marry: Nominative Determinism Just Got Porny
BIRTHS Marriages and Deaths: Congratulationa to Tara Wang and Austin DeCock, of Detroit Lakes, Minn., who are engaged.
Parents Delano and Arlene Wang, and Francis and Erlene DeCock are cock-a-hoop.
They will marry on Oct. 16 and become – yes, you’re ahead of me – Mr and Mrs Wang Decock…
Posted: 25th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Oscar Wilde Cock-Cockery And Other Media Fictions
SO it’s autumn now and I’m back. Haven’t you heard of people taking summer off? I can highly recommend the Carmel Mountain Health Spa (prison close by), Israel, where luxury twin-suites can be shared by same-sexers and other-sexers without a tabloid or loser blogger (hi, Guido Fawkes!) getting wind.
I’ll drop William Hague, 49, a line about it after this. (Btw, I do wish The Sun‘s Kelvin MacKenzie would desist in his weekly persecution of Chris Myers, 25, Mr Hague’s former room-mate driver and £30k pa SpAd. In a just world he’d be sharing a room with George Michael)
Anyway, it appears I’ve returned in the nick of time. For today some letters Oscar Wilde wrote to a sexy young male magazine editor in the century before last have been flogged at auction for £33,900 – or nearly £24k more than expected. What spiced them up was the claim that in them Oscar, then about 33, propositioned the Court & Society Review editor – one Alsager Vian, 22 (never heard of him: his ghost must be relishing the posthumous fame).
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Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts | Comments (11)
Paul Chambers And The Twitter Police: Freedom Of Expression Under Attack
WHEN Paul Chambers told his Twitter followers he was going to blow Robin Hood’s Doncaster airport “sky high” he never meant it. There was no plot. He had no explosives or car. He had done no research into IEDs. It was an unthinking thought crime.
The 600-odd followers who read Chambers’ tweet – in the language of Twitter, he is their leader – did not take up arms and besiege Robin Hood airport. They did nothing aside from tweet.
But someone who seems to have searched for it, and who had deemed it a “non-credible” threat, sent it to the police – such is the process. The police, having arrested Chambers, forwarded it to the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS). There is no bomb but if the CPS can make an example of Chambers by saying he broke a law then the process can continue. We live in dangerous times and bomb hoaxes must be taken seriously.
Five police officers arrest Chambers at his place of work.
“Do you have any weapons in your car?” they asked.
“I said I had some golf clubs in the boot,” Chambers told me. “But they didn’t think it was funny. I kept wondering, ‘When are they going to slap my wrists and let me go?’ Instead, they hauled me into a police car while my colleagues watched.”
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Posted: 24th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)
Delhi Athletes’ Village In Pictures: Commonwealth Games Sink Estate
PICTURES of the athletes’ village at the Commonwealth Games show the place resembling a sink estate in, say, Scotland. This might explain why the Scotland team have delayed their trip to India. Why bother travelling when you can experience urban decay, poverty and begging right at home.
Posted: 23rd, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Stephen Ireland Bright Home In Photos: Jane Moir Compares His Dog To His Daughter
ASTON Villa’s Stephen Ireland and his lovely wife Jessica Lawlor showed us their Cheshire home in Come Dine Wife Me. On the show, Lawlor came across as likeable, fun and well aware that the home.
This is Ireland who once pretended his grandmother had died in order to get out of playing for Ireland. But his mum’s mum Patricia Tallon was live. Ireland then said it was his dad’s mother who had died. But Brenda Kitchener was also alive and had read about her death in a newspaper.
Although upsetting for all concerned, it’s hard not to like Stephen Ireland.
Unless you’re Jan Moir, who looks at the photos and compares the couple’s dog to their daughter:
Ireland… is also pictured posing on a grey sofa with Jessica and their pet Chihuahua, which could pass as the couple’s four-legged love child.
Nice. Want to see the photos, including one of said of the five-year-old dog’s daughter’s room?
Images via Express & Star
Posted: 23rd, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Islamophobia And A Jedi Plot To Kill The Pope
MORE on that “Muslim plot” to kill the Pope – the alleged “joke” by six men of North African origin that conveniently hit the media at the same time the head of MI5 was talking up the threat of terrorism at the London Olympics. The Daily Express called it a “Muslim plot” on its front page.
Only it wasn’t a plot cooked up by all Muslims to kill the Pope. In the much the same was as the 18-year-old man arrested after a laser beam was fired at a police helicopter during the Pope’s visit to Glasgow was not part of a Christian / Jedi plot to kill the Pope.
You might suppose that when the “Muslim plot” turned out to be nothing of the sort, the Express would put a huge sigh of relief on its front page? Not a chance. The follow up story was buried on Page 9.
Islamophobia rules, OK!
But humour wins!
Posted: 22nd, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (11)
The Weirdest Dating Websites – A Picture Study Of STDs, Fetishes, Drugs And Sex
IN our guide to dating websites, we have good news for furries, Amish, Aryans, dwarf fanciers, anyone keen to meet a partner with a matching sexually transmitted disease, weed freaks, Star Trek aficionados, money, a farm, a nappy fetish, a sexy mental illness, cats and many more lovelorn singles. Enjoy the gallery. There is someone for everyone – even you:
Posted: 22nd, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
The Best And Funniest Anti-Pope And Anti-Catholic Signs: Photo Gallery
THE Pope has gone back to the Vatican, that country protected by the Swiss and blessed with great interior decor. His legacy is a bunch of demo signs. Anorak has pulled a load of protest signs together and now delivers the best of them. If you don’t like the Pope and want to attack a man who won’t sue you and go for a religion that won’t issue a fatwa on your head – do at least try to be funny:
Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
How To Cure Homosexuals And Other Books: A Gallery
YOU are not gay. You only think you are. Here is a collection of books to help you straighten out. The covers are informative: Healing the Masculine Soul has a cover depicting two men about to link hands over a big crevasse; Reparative Therapy of Mail Homosexuality features a man rubbing some wood; and is that a gun illustrating Shaping Your Child’ Sexual Needs or just dad’s big stick?
Posted: 20th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Islamophobia And A Convenient Plot To Kill The Pope
THE six men feared to be Muslim and of North African extraction – all arrested for their parts in an alleged plot to blow up the Pope – have been released without being charged.
The six men feared to be Muslim and foreign were arrested on the same day Johnathan Evans’ (he’s the head of MI5) warned us that unless more resources where given to UK security, bombers would hit the country hard.
Incredible stuff, eh, readers? Although, as a police “source” says, the alleged Pope bombers, posed “no credible threat”.
Meanwhile, in Glasgow, an…
“…18-year-old man has been charged after a laser beam was fired at a police helicopter during the Pope’s visit to Glasgow.
The incident happened after Pope Benedict XVI had celebrated Mass before 65,000 people in Bellahouston Park.”
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Pope Fest 2010: The Photos, The Opinions And The Legacy
POPE Fest 2010 is over. And now is the time to wonder what it all meant? Do those who loved the Pope before he came love him any more or less? Do those who hated him, hate him with added vigour? This was a State visit by the autocratic leader of the Vatican. So, will Britain now work closer with the world’s smallest state protected by cross-dressers and the word’s best interior decorators? Or will we view the place as a haven for religious fundamentalists and bomb it?
The columnist react:
* Basic courtesy meant Dawkins and Co never stood a chance. Once again, the media pack got it wrong. The love of Jesus not creationism was the Pope’s “heart to heart” message – and that is an impossible target to hit. And while the contraceptive ban can be deplored as an opener to Aids, it has to be remembered that most Catholics now live in the same Third World. – Slugger O’ Toole
* “That the church of my childhood and youth would have been busy considering Oscar Romero for sainthood, a champion of the poor and fighter for social justice who was murdered in El Salvador at his altar during mass, rather than today’s consideration of Pius XII, a highly controversial figure who did not do enough to save the Jews and others during the second world war, tells us more about the conservative era we live in than the institution itself.” – Bonnie Greer
* The spontaneous crowds, the wall-to-wall media coverage, the seeming fascination with the dialogue Pope Benedict sought to have with Britain, are all indications that this unusually state guest was received not with apathy or hostility — as the media before last Thursday were warning he would be — but with curiosity and receptivity. This has clearly been a shock for a largely liberal, metropolitan media.The Catholic commentator Clifford Longley, with whom I shared a radio studio this morning, drew a comparison with the US media discovering after George W Bush’s election that they had ignored the influence of the flyover states. – Austen Ivereigh, American Magazine
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
David Beckham, The LA Thai Massage Parlour And The NoTW’s Paywall
KNICKERS off to the NoTW’s James Desborough for writing an article about David Beckham getting a Thai massage and making it sound like so much more.
Following the Pakistan cricket sting – a good story laughably hyped as the“the most sensational sporting scandal ever” and Wayne Rooney’s alleged sex with prostitute Jennifer Thompson (a story first broken by the Mirror), the NoTW needs to come up with a sensation every week. And with the NoTW online going behind a paywall, the need to deliver the goods is even more acute. But if no scandal is brewing, the next best thing is to suggest there might be one.
Desborough is no keen amateur. In 2009, he won the showbiz reporter of the year prize at the British Press awards for his “uncompromising scoops which mean no celebrity with secrets can sleep easy“.
But what is the scoop just isn’t there and space needs filling with sex and stars? Get a load of this from Mr Desborough. The headline informs us:
David Beckham visits cheap Thai massage parlour
Cheap?
The England and LA Galaxy striker visited the Lamai Thai Massage shop last week when wife Victoria was in Britain.
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Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Egypt Newspaper Photoshops Mubarak Ahead Of Obama At Peace Talks
BARACK Obama and President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt walk into the East Room of the White House for Round 2101 AD of Middle East peace talks. Also there are Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, President Mahmoud Abbas of Palestine and
King Abdullah II of Jordan.
Mubarak is on the left. Only he isn’t in Egypt, where the Egypt’s-state-run rag Al-Ahram puts Mubarak in the lead.
The gold medal goes to him. Now. who’s for lunch. Last one into the mess hall loses their country…
Note: The newspaper’s editor-in chief, Osama Saraya says:
“The expressionist photo is … a brief, live and true expression of the prominent stance of President Mubarak in the Palestinian issue, his unique role in leading it before Washington or any other.”
Spotter: Pat’sPapers
Posted: 19th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
In Photos: Quadruple Amputee Philippe Croizon Swims The English Channel In 13 Hours
PHILIPPE Croizon has only gone and swam the English Channel. This is remarkable because M. Criozon has no legs and only very short arms, minus the hands.
While the Daily Express begins an expose on fears that amputee Romanians plan to swim to Britain en masse and claim every kind of income benefit, we salute M. Croizon. The 42-year-old swam from Folkestone to Cap Gris Nez the in 13.5 hours.
M. Croizon lost four limps (most of his arms, for you pedants) when he suffered a severe electric shock while removing a television aerial from a roof in 1996.
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Posted: 18th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
Anti-Pope Demo Photos: ‘Does The Pope Fancy Baby Jesus?’
PHOTOS of the anti-Pope demonstration reveal some banners, like: “Pope’s opposition to condoms kills people”; “Pope promotes prejudice”; “Boss of the world’s largest sex abuse gang”; “Pope — male chauvinist pig” and one asking if the Pope “fancied the baby Jesus“.
Pink mitres were also popular. As were condoms, that were either blown up or worn as earrings.
Anything from 3,000 to 10,000 people joined the Protest the Pope march from Hyde Park to Downing Street. It was a mix of survivors and the usual suspects who just don’t like religion, like the British Humanist Association and the National Secular Society. More souls listened to the Pontiff’s open-air prayer vigil for victims of sexual abuse in the Church.
Pope Benedict earlier met with five people who were molested by priests as children and apologized to them. What more can he do..?
Pope Fest 2010 Photos: Pope Pius XII Was An Atheist And So Was The Reich Bishop
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Posted: 18th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
Man Gets Spare Rib Stuck In His Anus: Video And Photos
TO Taiwan, where a man has piece of spare rib stuck in his anu. hjwo did it get ther./ Well, you see, he,er, ate it and then ti got wedged iont ehwe ay OPUT…
Potato Wedgies: Vicar Gets Spud Stuck In Rectum
Fallen Woman’s Rectum Impaled On Hairspray Can
Eel Swims Up Fishmonger’s Anus: Pictures
Woman Dies When NHS Doctor Fails To Spot Toilet Brush Wedged In Her Bottom
Video – and then some pictures:
Pictures:
Tree Grows In Man’s Lung
Man With World’s Most Talented Anus Amazes Prison Guards
Weird X-Rays: How Did A Light Bulb Get In Your Anus?
In Pictures: Chinese Man With Remote Control Up Anus Changes Channel To Watch Tiger Woods
Posted: 18th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
In Pictures: Vain Bethany Storro’s Racist Acid Attack
WHEN Bethany Storro told the world that she had been attacked by a black woman, who asked her if she wanted a drink and then tossed a cup of acid in her face, the media went nuts.
For added spice Storro said her attacker her used this line, which contains a gem of praise to make the story yet more tragic:
“Hey pretty girl, do you want to drink this?”
Pretty girl. Or pretty white girl? Storro didn’t say “white”. But people still heard it.
Remember Ashley Todd, the white female John McCain supporter who said she had been attacked by a black man who had left the imprint of “B” (for Barack Obama ) on her face? It was a lie.
Will the media be a little more circumspect this time round? No. The Mail even spotted witnesses:
Eyewitnesses say she was wearing a green shirt and khaki pants at the time of attack. Her hair is described as either in a ponytail or slicked back.
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Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (8)
Pope Fest 2010 Photos: Pope Pius XII Was An Atheist And So Was The Reich Bishop
GOOD news for Hitler’s Pope, Hitler Youth veterans and all other Catholic Nazis. The Pope says it was atheism that drove the German war machine. The men and women who raped and murder millions of Jews, gypsies and Slavs did so because they did not know about God.
It’s also helped that most of the SS were brought up Christian and the Nazis were able to tap into a latent hatred of the Jews and so better facilitate their massacre.
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Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
