Key Posts Category
Tiger Woods: More Women Fail To Deny Affair And Ryder Cup Joy
TIGER Woods: grim news for the wayward golfer as Katie Price fails to go on the record and deny shagging Woods – as do Susan Boyle, Cherie Blair, Oprah Winfrey and millions more of potential lovers. But the Mirror has some good news for Tiger – at last:
“Mauled Tiger Woods gets Ryder Cup boost”
Who read that and doesn’t think, ‘He’s not been picked to play’?
All Tiger’s women (alleged) in pictures (NSFW)
Turns out that the boost to Woods who has retired from the public eye is that American Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin wants Tiger Woods on his team at Celtic Manor.
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Posted: 20th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Joe McElderry ‘Cracks’ Under Strain From ‘Cruel’ Rage Againt The Machine
THE marketing war between X Factor’s adequate Joe McElderry (“it’s me dream”) and angry Rage Against The Machine (join the debate) is resulting in a price war. You can download McElderry’s average version of Miley Cyrus’s The Climb for just 29 pence. That down from its original price of 79p. Hey, there’s a war on – buy two or three copies.
Well so reports the Mail, whish says the slashed price is a sign that the “pressure” is getting to Joe. Trouble with this exclusive is that the song costs 29p in Asda, as it always has.
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Posted: 20th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)
Joe McElderry Attacks Rage Against The Machine, Literally
JOE McElderry of Simon Cowell’s X Factory Pop Machine takes on Rage Against The Machine for the fight to be this year’s novelty Christmas No.1. And the Sun leads with:
“JOE RAGE”
It’s always the Rage. Cheryl has had the RAGE. Simon Cowell has had the RAGE. And now Little Joe Joenas gets the RAGE.
We see Joe ‘Joenas’ McElderry firing darts into a picture of Rage Against the Machine’s front man Zack de la Rocha. Says the Sun:
X Factor star blasts rival Rage’s riffage
Joe heard RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE track Killing In The Name – currently beating his song The Climb in the race for Christmas No1 – …Geordie lad Joe was sickened by the heavy rock tune which is littered with f-words.
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Posted: 19th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (10)
Tiger Woods: The ‘Love Child’ Is Identified And Theresa Rogers Speaks: In Pictures
TIGER Woods: With Theresa Rogers…, Jessica Simpson, a “love child”, a “sham marriage” and a golf award after a dark…
The more Jessica Simpson says he has not have sex with Tiger Woods, let alone even flirt with him, the more the newspapers show an interest. After the Mail questioned readers about the allegation, the Star now asks:
“DID RANDY TIGER PLAY ROUND WITH JESSICA?”
No. Next! Here’s Theresa Rogers…
“She just wanted to be the woman who schooled Tiger in the bedroom,” a pal reportedly said of the much older woman.
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Posted: 18th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
In Pictures: X Factor’s Robbie Williams Busks For Apple And Tours WIth Olly Murs
ONWARDS and upwards for Robbie Williams after his X Factor duet with contagious Olly Murs. Says Olly: “I’d love to work with Robbie more – maybe a Christmas duet next year!” Generous stuff from the X Factor runner up who danced like a man skidding on a wet dog poo. Says Olly Murs: “He wants me to go to his house in LA after the X Factor tour. He’s got a football pitch in his garden and wants me to come over and play football with him.” Last night Robbie Williams went to find another 21 faces, a ref and two linesmen as he busked at the Apple shop in Regent’s Street. It’s a start but with Olly’s help Robbie can recover from the X Factor:
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Posted: 18th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Everyone Who Supports Rage Against The Machine Is Wrong
RAGE Against The Machine are selling themselves as the rebel yell, the antidote to Joe ‘Joenas’ McElderry, the Disney character X Factor product. They aren’t. A rebel is someone who rebels. A rebel is not a band signed to Sony records who goes on the BBC to explain their position as champions of a Facebook group. A rebel is someone who does what convention does not want them to do, nor expect them, to. BBC. Facebook. Sony. Let’s hear it for the rebels!!!
On BBC Radio 5 Rage guitarist Tom Morello and front man Zack De La Rocha did an impression of two politicians happy to win a by-election:
“This is a really completely grassroots campaign started by real fans of music… we’re honoured that they’ve chosen our song to be the rebel anthem to be the song to topple the X Factor monoply… We see this as a necessary break in the chain of that control…It’s an excellent lesson that when people band together and make their voices heard, they can completely overturn the system.”
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Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (55)
In Pictures: Silvio Berlusconi Shows His Broken Nose And Scabs
HAVING inspected a much reduced in size Milan Cathedral at close quarters – a small version to make Silvio feel bigger, so they say – Silvio Berlusconi has let his hospital in Milan. Mr Berlusconi sported a small bandage on his nose, beneath which, it is rumoured, hair from his head has been grafted on. A large compress on his left cheek sports a scab that says “Made In China”. Mr Berlusconi, 73, waved as he left…
Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
The Avatar Premiere Los Angeles With The Self-Entitled James Cameron And Leona Lewis: In Pictures
TO the Avatar premiere in Los Angeles, and time to recall the words of the film’s director James Cameron, currently jetting round the world to promote his electronic marvel:
“There’s a sense of entitlement — ‘We’re here, we’re big, we’ve got the guns, we’ve got the technology, we’ve got the brains, we therefore are entitled to every damn thing on this planet’, That’s not how it works and we’re going to find out the hard way if we don’t wise up and start seeking a life that’s in balance with the natural cycles of life on earth.”
And here they come to save Gaia by limo to an air-conditioned cinema: Leona Lewis, who felt connected enough to nature to sing the title song and travels the globe promoting it.
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Also, Cheryl Tiegs, Alexandra Daddario, Sigourney Weaver, Laz Alonzo, Michael Lewis, Zoe Saldana, Bryan Singer, Sam Worthington, James Cameron and Suzy Amis, Virginia Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, Tom Arnold, Giovanni Ribisi, Audrina Patridge, Cuba Gooding Jr., Danny Devito, Brendan Fraser and Jason Alexander…
Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Peaches Geldof Nearly ‘Dies’ In Car Crash, So She Says On Twitter
BREAKS off to Peaches Geldof who has Twittered the first celebrity car crash. Peaches is on her way to Disney World when she nearly “dies” on the road.
As we’ve said Peaches is the girl who turns up at the orgy party to find mum and dad handing out towels. Whatever she does it’s just not enough. To truly rebel she needs to become a nurse or teacher.
Says Peaches:
‘Speeding like I have never, ever witnessed before on the freeway – feel like I’m in a scary car chase video game.’
You’re a video game star, Peaches.
‘Just actually experienced a full on car carsh (sic) with the IDGAF crew. Wow, I guess we really don’t GAF.’
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Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Tiger Woods And Jessica Simpson Together In Pictures
TIGER Woods: Still no public denial from Katie Price, Susan Boyle and the Surbiton Women’s Institute Golf Squad but Jessica Simpson HAS denied being with Tiger Woods.
The Mail, however, fails to understand what Simpson means when her spokesperson says:
“This story is so fabricated, it’s disgusting.”
The paper asks:
Was pop singer Jessica Simpson another of Tiger Woods’s birdies?
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Posted: 17th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
The X Factor Does Gastwick In Photos: Stacey Solomon And Olly Murs Are Trapped In A Snow Globe
THE sky’s the limit for X Factor finalists Stacey Solomon and Olly Murs – or, rather, the Gatwick Airport is. Anorak spotted, Stacey and Olly launching The Gatwick Factor, a singing competition at London Gatwick Airport, helping to raise money for Great Ormond St Hospital and giving passengers the chance to win a holiday to see the Northern Lights in Norway, or a Russian missile spiralling out of control. Hey, it’s free. This is what happens to X Factor losers – they are placed in plastic bubbles and encouraged to sing until the oxygen of publicity runs out. They are then deported to a silo in Belgium. Then they wait for the phone to ring…
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Posted: 16th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Tiger Woods And Theresa Rogers’ Lips In Photos: Woods Puts Family First ‘Always’
TIGER Woods: Theresa Rogers is not only a victim of nominative determinism, she is Theresa Rogers…Tiger Woods, allegedly. Suspension points are Tiger Woods’ hyphen. Jaimee Grubbs…Tiger Woods. Jamie Jungers…Tiger Woods. Cori Rist…Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods and his women are coining a new language of their own. But above all Tiger Woods is a family man. The Mail leads with a picture of Elin Woods and Sam Woods, the Tiger cub, and the headline: “Look what you’ve put at risk, Tiger.” The same picture is used by the Express on its front page to reveal the “courage of Tiger’s wife” (there are ad deals in the offing for Elin – see them here).
Woods is damned by an interview recorded 10 days before ring-waiting Elin used her Kobe grip on his glass screen. The interviewer asked: “Family first and golf second – always been that way?” Woods fell into the elephant trap: “Always. Always.” Here are pictures of Theresa Rogers, 48, and her lips and the other women linked to Tiger Woods…
Posted: 16th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
In Pictures: X Factor’s Joe McElderry Duets With Rage Against The Machine
WILL X Factor (X Factory) Jonas Brother Joe McElderry beat Rage Against The Machine to the Christmas number one spot, pop pickers? Joe McElderry sings The Climb. Rage sings the 1992 hit Killing In The Name. A web campaign wants Rage to win. A coachful of women with hankies up their sleeves are gunning for Joe. Anorak met Rage Against the Machine’s Zak de la Rocha at the Reading Festival. He was taller and hairier then Joe. If Zak could wear a Joe McElderry mask and walk on his knees, Simon Cowell may yet have the ultimate super-hit. We, meanwhile, have pictures of both acts:
Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)
Tiger Woods: In Pictures Theresa Rogers And Julie Postle
TIGER WOODS Women: Introducing Theresa Rogers and Julie Postle. After Jaimee Grubbs is this more nominative determinism? Our golf correspondent Theresa Green takes up the story.
After Mindy Lawton, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Rachel Uchitel, Holly Sampson, Cori Rist and Josyln James, here are Theresa Rogers and Julie Postle.
Theresa Rogers has, reportedly, secured the services of attorney, Gloria Allred, who counts Rachel Uchitel as a client.
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Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (6)
Tiger Woods In Pictures: Cori Rist Confesses And A Big NBC Today Show Fail
TIGER Woods and the women: We turn now to hear from “gorgeous” Cori Rist, billed as single mum who having met the golfer in a New York night claims to have shagged him while he was sending text messages to other women.
After Mindy Lawton, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Rachel Uchitel, Holly Sampson and Josyln James work the media, Cori Rist has been keeping a dignified silence. Now she breaks and tells NBC’s Today show:
“I’d wake up in the night and he would be texting. I’d ask him what he was doing and he would say he was answering emails. I had this feeling, I knew it was something bigger.”
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Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
X Factor Winner Joe McElderry Reveals His True Sexy Feeling For Cheryl Cole, In Photos
X FACTOR Joe McElderry tells us that he is not gay. Did anyone think he was? The Sun’s front-page headline puts the fact down for posterity:
“JOE: I’m straight but girls can wait (AND I DON’T FANCY CHERYL”).
Who said Joe fancied Cheryl Cole?
The 18-year-old from Tyne and Wear said: “Oh, who doesn’t fancy Cheryl Cole? Come on!”
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Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
In Pictures: Jude Law Grimaces At Sherlock Holmes Premiere
TO the “WORLD PREMIERE” Guy Ritchie’s take on the Sherlock Holmes franchise. at The Empire, Leicester Square, London. Rachel McAdams, Jude Law, Heather Graham and Robert Downey Junior all looked like they were off to a fancy dress party and unsure what to dress as had fallen up on “dusty”. Clive Davis sums it up: “Perhaps it’s really a spoof from the Comic Strip team – Conan Doyle meets “The Strike”. The skill may be in working out why it was ever made…
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Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Tiger Woods: After Jaimee Grubbs, Jamie Jungers, Rachel Uchitel, Holly Sampson And Josyln James Meet Dina Gravell-Parr
TIGER Woods: After Mindy Lawton, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Rachel Uchitel, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson and Josyln James meet Dina Gravell-Parr.
No word yet from Katie Price on how she didn’t shag Tiger Woods, but we do hear from Dina Gravell-Parr, 34, who met golfer Woods in a high school accounting class. He was 16. She was 17.
The image of Woods as the dullest man in the world may yet be restored. Says Dina Gravell-Parr – more nominative determinsm:
“At the end of the night I had to ask him ‘Well, was that a date?’ He was all shy and embarrassed. As we said goodbye, it was really awkward.”
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Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Tiger Woods: Using Gillette Gets You Laid And Other Tiger Woods Endorsements
TIGER Woods has been dropped by Accenture, and Gillette has announced it won’t use Woods’ name for an indefinite period.
Gillette isn’t thinking. Woods advertises shaving products to men for whom shaving is a novelty. Gillette has been cursed of late. Had their brand ambassador Thierry Henry not shaved his palms, Ireland would be going to the World Cup and not the French handball team. There are rumours of Roger Federer, the third Gillette shaving legend, growing a huge beard.
But back to the idea that Gillette is missing a chance.
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Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (4)
Tiger Woods: Accenture Ignores Its Own Advice And Sacks Tiger Woods
TIGER WOODS: Accenture has severed all links with Tiger Woods. After six years of lending his image to such meaningful corporate slogans as “It’s not a setback. It’s a test”, “We know what it takes to be a Tiger”, “Go on. Be a Tiger”, “Opportunity isn’t always obvious”, “In every field of endeavor there are the timid. And there are the Tigers” and – oh, the irony – “It’s what you do next that counts”, Accenture has ignored its own advice and sacked the golfer.
“After careful consideration and analysis, the company has determined that he is no longer the right representative for its advertising.”
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Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment
In Pictures: Ryan Giggs Beats Tiger Woods To Win BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2009
RYAN Giggs wins the 2009 BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Jenson Button is the runner-up with Jessica Ennis in third. In the Sports Personality Award of the Year little stock is placed on the winner’s personality. Personality is BBC for “unisex” and “celebrity”. Says Ryan Giggs, the best football to ever play in the Premier League: “That is a big shock, I’d like to thank the BBC for putting on a brilliant night and everyone who has voted for me.” Imagine what jungle Jimmy White would have said, or Tiger Woods? Keep trying Tiger. In pictures:
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Posted: 13th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
X Factor Final Live Blog: Joe McElderry Wins, Olly Murs Lose Gracefully
THE X Factor Final Live Show: Joe McElderry wins. Here’s how he did it. Newests news first.
Final Proud Watch of the X Factor series: Cheryl is proud of Joe. Joe just looks stunned and elated.
Cheryl and Danniii air kiss. Britain gets its own Jonas Brother. Any more like you at home, Joe? Simon’s just wondering? Rachel whatsherface grabs the mic.
Joe WINS!!!!! And here is debut single. Look! Buy! Look!!!!
The lines are closed. The cash is being counted. Your mum is going TO KILL YOU when the phone bill comes.
George Michael sings a dull song dressed in those Minder indoor sunglasses used and abused car dealers wear. Sir Paul Macca appears.
Return to see Cheryl Cole crying. What the **** did Cowell say to her?!
Then Olly and Joe are ready to sing The Climb, a Miley Cyrus song. It’s pretty dull. But Joe wins. Joe is walking on clouds. Behind him is host of white-clad singers. What can it all mean? It’s moving. Your writer moves to the coffee machine, literally.
Leona Lewis is dressed as a goldfish.
Proud Watch II: Simon is “proud” of Olly and Joe.
Proud Watch: Simon Cowell is “proud” of Joe – “literally”.
Joe sings Don’t Stop Believin‘ by Journey. To be picky, Joe is not a great walker. But he way better than Olly at singing. Joe wins.
Olly sings Twist And Shout. Olly dances like a City broker on a patch of black ice. Grandma will like this one. Olly reminds one of Antoak’s writers of Vinnie Jones singing Wolly Bully. Says what you like about the singing, but Olly does good stairs. Walking up stairs on stage is not easy.
Fashion Note: Louis Walsh is dressed like an extra from The Waltons.
Fashion Note II: For those fo you watching in black and white Michael Underwood’s outfit is bright.
Olly and Joe are dressed in white. Can Godspell have two leads? All the other losing finalists are dressed in black. It’s all deeplty meaningful.
BEFORE the X Factor final – and Joe McElderry’s victory, and Olly Murs’ good sportsmanship – Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy are seen backstage at the X Factor final, and then taking their seats for the show proper at the Fountain Studios in Wembley, north-west London. Should Harry and Chelsy marry? Should they live in sin? We need a public vote…
Posted: 13th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
In Pictures: Singer Silvio Berlusconi Punched In The Face By Massimo Tartaglia
FIRST Leona Lewis and now former cruise ship singer Silvio Berlusconi has been punched in the face by Massimo Tartaglia and a small statue (a scale replica of Silvio?). Time to protect our entertainers!
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Posted: 13th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (2)
Tiger Woods Threesome Pictures: Jamie Jungers, Janine Jungers Woods And Tiger’s Dying Father
TIGER Woods: Another day and another chance to hear from Jamie Jungers, who not too long ago was keen to tell us that she not received a penny – not a cent – for shagging and then talking about Tiger Woods. As she says in the papers:
“He’s a cheap f***er and he just didn’t want to help me.”
Today, Jamie is on the cover of the NoTW, illustrating the story “TIGER ON The RACK“. So vital is Jamie Jungers to the narrative that the NoTW decided to rename her Janine Jungers, to save any confusion with demure Jaimee Grubbs.
Star bedded Janine Jungers as father lay dying in hospital…
TREACHEROUS Tiger Woods romped with a mistress in his marital bed on the night his beloved father died.
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Posted: 13th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Will Smith And The Smithios Do The Nobel Peace Prize, In Pictures
AT the Nobel Peace Prize concert Natasha Bedingfield was followed on stage – and how to follow her? – by actor Will Smith, his wife actress Jada Pinkett Smith and the Performing Smithios – Willow Smith and Jaden Smith. Yeah, Will equals Willow; Jada equals Jaden. Such is the self-love. Then Wyclef Jean did the dread deed and danced with the Norwegian royal family. Get a load of the expression of dismay, pity and horror on Crown Prince Haakon’s face. The pictures:
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Posted: 12th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
