Sports Category

Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.

Russia Police Stop Player Goal Celebration


Wheel away in ecstasy.

Take off your shirt.

Throw it to the crowd.

Or if you’re in Russia the police rough you up and stop you having fun.

Fans go potty and rip up seats to throw at anyone.



Posted: 24th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

The Greatest Football Throw In Skill Ever

THROW ins. Never easy. But this is a football masterclass. How long before the pros are doing it..? In yer face, Coley…

Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Short Circuit: Slavica And Bernie Eccelsetone Split The (Action) Figure

WITH Madonna and Guy Ritchie agreeing not to give the tabloids what they want, let’s hope Bernie Ecclestone can do better with his split from the lovely Slavica.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Rio Blande: Ferdinand And Ashley Cole To Make Hollywood Film

SOME football news in the Sun that Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole are teaming up to produce a film.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Catania Players Perfect Bare Arsed Cheeky Free Kick

CATANIA, of Italy’s Serie A football league, have perfected a free-kick routine that features their players dropping their shorts in order to block the goalkeeper’s vision.

The brainchild of Italian national goalkeeper Walter Zenga, the move worked well against Torino last weekend:

Spotter: Michael Kritharis

Posted: 18th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

When Footballers Attack: Streaker Kneed In Throat

GO on. Go on, run onto the football pitch. Go on. It’ll be great. When you get there, what then..? Don’t worry about that. Just do it. Go on. Go on… It’ll be greeeeeeaat…

Posted: 17th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Obama Balls: Football Hooligans Train For Barack

FOOTBALL fans respond to Barack Obama’s election triumph:

“Police are urging fans travelling by rail to football matches this Saturday to emulate the Americans and turn a page in history. ‘The election of Barack Obama to the White House has turned a page in world history – now’s the time for football fans to do the same,’ said Superintendent Colum Price from the British Transport Police. ‘

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 13th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

A Black Man Or A White Woman: Adlington And Lewis Compete For Votes

CAN a white woman beat the half-black man? It’s the question everyone at the BBC is asking.

It was Dr. King of THG Labs Inc, who said:

“I have a dream that one day my children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their blood sample.”

Rebecca Adlington and Lewis Hamilton are the embodiments of that ideal.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 13th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Nig-Nogs At The Stadium Of Light

A PENSIONER football supporter who yelled out “Don’t pass it to that dirty nig-nog” has been banned from all English and Welsh football matches and all England away games for three years.

The 69-year-old from Wearside in North East England shouted the remark in the hearing of two undercover detectives on a racist watch in Sunderland’s Stadium Of Light in May this year.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 10th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (8)

All The Drama From Wayne Rooney’s Brithday Party

HOT sporting insight in the Sun is that nothing happened at Wayne Rooney’s 23rd birthday party.

That sensation in full:

NO arrests
NO gobbing on photgraphers
NO arrests
NO arrests

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Black-Faced Spaniards Cheer On Lewis Hamilton

LEWIS Hamilton is a champion driver and an inspiration to millions of youngsters.

It just goes to show that with a multi-million pound corporation behind you, the best car and dedication you any young Britisher can make it to very top of motor racing, rain permitting.

Anorak has trawled the message boars for some words of cheer:

Having seen those pictures of black-faced Spaniards, let’s hope they too can get behind one of their own and cheer Lewis on! – El And Black

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Rooney Wears Bobby Charlton’s Old Wig

ANOTHER day and with another chance for the Sun to turn Wayne Rooney into a laughing stock.

Thee La Roon sat in a chair while behind him stands Rio Ferdinand, in whose hands idle a pair of clippers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (8)

Up For The Colander: GAA To Drill Holes In Trophies

PET irritants: No 34251 – Allowing a child related to a member of the cup winning team to claim the cup and then handle the cup on the field of play.

Cup should be thrown about the park between players only; cup lid should be worn on player’s head; cup should be taken into winning team’s changing room and filled with alcohol; cup should be thown in communal bath…

Unless the Gaelic Athletic Association is involved:

The fizz could be taken out of post match GAA celebrations after some officials said they may consider drilling holes in trophies in a bid to stop players filling them with alcohol.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Spanish Hamster Waiters Out To Crucify Lewis Hamilton

TO Spain, where the locals are seeking revenge on the damage inflicted to Spanish hamster waiters by attacking stand-up British racing driver Lewis Hamilton.


The Star has been trawling internet message boards and found a few people who – get this – have nasty things to say about Our Lewis, now based in Switzerland.

“A sick message from a man called Angel, who posted a nail for Lewis on lap 11, raged: ‘I hope you crash, son of a bitch.’”

A nail? Can you post an actual item on the web? (It’s not called the information superhighway for nothing! – Ed)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (6)

Kiwi Rugby Player Slurs Bad Teeth Britain

IAN Henderson, a former player with the Bradford Bulls rugby league team says Castleford was “the worst place” he had lived in.

Mr Henderson said “moving there just kills you” and added people “drank themselves silly”.

Local MP Yvette Cooper described the comments as an “outrageous slur”.


Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 25th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (5)

David Beckham To Take Football And Nylons To Italy

DAVID Beckham is in talks with Italy’s AC Milan.

With the US gone soccerball cray-zeee, Day-vid now needs to bring the game to the rest of the world.

Day-vid will be brining nylons, tinned food, democracy and bananas…

Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (14)

Wayne Rooney Polishes Head For England

ANOTHER day, and yet another attempt to squeeze a cheap laugh out of the mighty Wayne Rooney.

Today Wayne is wearing a curly wig, an Amy Winehouse beehive and a Bobby Charlton comb over, the hairstyle Sir Bobby famously wore over his luxurious crop of auburn locks.

The reason for this?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

12 Gay Premier League Footballers Named


So says the Daily Star. The front-page outing is illustrated by a mugshot of strapping hetero Sol Campbell and a picture of Abby Clancy, who as a jobbing Wag must be considering a sex change to keep her career intact and open to offers.

Says the Star:

At least 12 top Premier League football stars are secretly gay. The superstar dozen are even scared to confess their homosexuality to their team-mates.

Anorak can reveal that the 12 are collectively known as…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 18th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Robbie Savage Cuts Your Legs Off

SPORTING insight of the day: footballer Robbie Savage explains his love for Brighton FC.

“There are kids out there who’d chop their legs off to play football for Brighton”

Robbie Savage on equal opportunities football. Look out for Abu Hamza in goal…

Catch it!


Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (2)

La Marseillaise: Booing The French And Gordon Brown Off

HOW do you stop a football match before it has begun?

Any football match in France before which the country’s national anthem is booed will now be “immediately stopped”, French Sports Minister Roselyne Bachelot said Wednesday after meeting with President Nicolas Sarkozy.

Anthems are played before the game, right?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Name A German Other Than Dirk Nowitzki And David Hasselhoff

THE Washington Post hears the following exchange between a German hack for the Bild tabloid and Caron Butler, a player with the Washington Wizards basketball team:

Q. Which Germans do you know besides [Dallas Maverick] Dirk Nowitzki?

A. Is David Hasselhoff German?

I heard that you all like him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (5)

Fabio Capello Spots England’s Strange Girlfriends

FABIO Capello spots the Wags:

“It was possible to meet the women, the wives or the official girlfriends. Not strange girlfriends”England manager Fabio Capello on training camps in his club days

Who are these strange girlfriends, a tribe of untanned women in sensible shoes who shy away from cameras and have no ambitions to be TV presenters, models or designers?

They say they smell of talc, Ralgex and BO, but until the scent is bottled, how can we be certain?

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Wayne Rooney Predicts: Cheryl Cole To Win

WAYNE Rooney is the Sun’s Mr Ben, getting dresses up whenever wife Coleen wants to tell us a secret about his once private life.

Today Wayne is wearing a turban, rings on his fingers and a look of wonder.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Sports, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment (1)

Man City The Next Club In Crisis

WEST Ham is in the mire. And Man City?

Dubai may need help from Abu Dhabi and the United Arab Emirates government to finance a surge in borrowing that paid for the world’s tallest tower, palm tree- shaped man-made islands and stakes in banks worldwide.

That’s the transfer kitty gone…

Anyone know what they did with Peter Swailes ?


Al Sugar’s 54-A-Side Manchester City

Al Qaeda Will Attack Manchester City At 8pm On 05 November 2007

Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comments (8)

Lewis Hamilton Walks To Work

AS Tim Blair notes, Formula One’s sop to global warming might not be enough:

This might be the most tokenistic tokenism in the entire history of Tokentown:

Formula One racing will show its support for the FIA’s Make Cars Green campaign by running on unique green-grooved tyres at this weekend’s Japanese Grand Prix.

Those stripey Gaia tyres (taias!) are attached to vehicles that consume about 190 litres of fuel during a 300km race.

Lewis Hamilton walks to work…

Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Sports | Comment