Anorak

Sports | Anorak - Part 5

Sports Category

Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.

Arsenal Balls: Wenger, Emery and no hint of worry

unai Emery Arsenal

How can the Daily Express spin Arsene Wenger’s words into a portent of doom? Wenger was talking at the perpetually remote Laureus Sport for Good Awards. He said Aaron Ramsey would be a “loss” to Arenal, the club he managed for a geological era. And that was it. Ooze it through the SEO grinder and in the Express it becomes: “Arsene Wenger WORRIED for Arsenal.”

But it’s worse than that because the URL to this clickbait runs: “Arsene-Wenger-Arsenal-worry-Unai-Emery-management-future.” The implication is clear: to trick readers into believing Wenger thinks the throughly decent and likeable Unai Emery, the man who replaced him as Arsenal manager, could be on his way out. Total tosh.

Posted: 18th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Zidane to Chelsea; Pochettino and Saudi bone-saws to Manchester United

Is Chelsea manager Maurizio Sarri spending the windfall in his severance clause? Maybe. The talk is of Sarri being given the boot and Zinedine Zidane the golden hello. ZouZou loves Chelsea – and if Roman Abramovich gives him £200m to spend on players, Eden Hazard forever and, naturally, a guaranteed huge payoff should he displease the Russian, the Frenchman will be on his way.

Or maybe he’ll head to Manchester United. Or maybe United will go shopping at Spurs once more. The Red Devils are willing to pay Tottenham a £34m compensation for manager Mauricio Pochettino.

More stories are emerging of Saudi Crown Prince Mohamed bin Salman’s rumoured £3.8bn bid for for Manchester United. But the Prince is good at denials (see bone-saw murder). A flunky called Turki al-Shabanah tells us: “Reports claiming that HRH the Crown Prince Mohamed bin Salman intends on buying @ManUtd are completely false. Manchester United held a meeting with @PIFSaudi to discuss sponsorship opportunity. No deal has been materialised.” What would the Saudi’s sponsor? Do Manchester United have their own branded petrol yet? Bone saws?

The Sun hears Turki gobble and says: “Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman hopes to complete a £3.8bn takeover of Manchester United before the start of the next season.”

In other news, Romelu Lukaku is wanted by Inter Mila, who have had it up to ‘here’ with Mauro Icardi. Chelsea want Icardi and Paulo Dybala. Zidane might not.

Posted: 18th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united | Comment


Liverpool: Robben’s miss; Garcia’s ghost goal; the Anfield roar

Ahead of Bayern Munich’s Champions League tie with Liverpool, the German’s club’s Arjen Robben is talking to the Sunday Times.

“If you ask the worst stadium for me, it’s probably Liverpool,” says Robben. “You always have your favourite opponent and there always has to be a negative one. There is only one [exception],” Robben says, his eyes widening: “Anfield.”

Anfield is where the diving Dutchman’s Real Madrid side lost 4-0. It’s where he lost two Champions League semi-finals with Chelsea. In one, Robben missed the first penalty in a shoot-out. In another, Chelsea were undone by a goal that wasn’t, the col-called ‘ghost goal’.

“The atmosphere at Anfield is probably one of the best you can imagine in Europe,” he adds. “It’s always like a big boost to them [Liverpool]. But we’re used to playing in big stadiums, so we just have to focus on ourselves.” about the little details.”

He calls Liverpool a cup-fighting team. And they’re a lucky one.

Luis García is still asked about the “ghost goal” and José Mourinho is still moaning about it. The Spaniard’s fourth-minute finish for Liverpool in the 2005 Champions League semi-final second leg against Chelsea was the strike that took Rafael Benítez’s team to Istanbul, where they came back from a 3-0 half-time deficit against Milan to be crowned European champions.

It didn’t go in, right? But that comeback in the final was worth the referee’s error…

Posted: 17th, February 2019 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Arsenal: Overmars makes his case for the job and Sanchez return from Manchester United

Don’t panic Arsenal fans. News is that Manchester United’s hugely expensive Chilean forward Alexis Sanchez, 30, could return to Arsenal. So says former Arsenal player Marc Overmars. “I have great respect for Alexis, ” says Overmars, “because he did extremely well in Arsenal, I do not know if it was a good decision to leave.” His accountant, agent and bank manager think it was terrific. Half a million smackers a week says it was a good move to quit Arsenal stardom for the Old Trafford bench.

Overmars adds:

“English football changes you, it turns you around, it took me a step forward. Arsene Wenger arrived a year before me, Dennis Bergkamp made a big impression English, it was a fantastic time, I think we changed the history of the club a bit. This type of players were very important for Arsenal, because that’s where they take you to focus, after Alexis, Arsenal tried to sign another player like that, but he was not given, so he could go back to Arsenal.”

Why is this news? Why is Overmars talking about Arsenal? It’s because Arsenal want a new technical director. And it’s gotten down to a straight fight between Roma sporting director Monchi and Overmars, who fulfils the same role at a resurgent Ajax.

Posted: 15th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Emiliano Sala: Daily Mirror turns his girlfriend into clickbait

Luiza Ungerer

Before he died during a flight over the English Channel, the British media was not interested in Emiliano Sala. Signed by Cardiff City from Nantes for a club record fee of £15 million (€18 million), Sala became front-page news when the plane carrying him to Wales crashed. Terrible. But not all bad to the Mirror, which seeks to milk the story with a tale of Sala’s “secret lover”.

Oh, you wonder. Was the Argentine footballer married and playing away from home? No. He wasn’t married. So why was his lover a “secret”. Well, she wasn’t. Luiza Ungerer and Sala had been dating since 2017. She’s been talking to Globo in her native Brazil about her love for him, recalling how fans used to pat him on the back as they strolled together round Nantes. 

Photos of the couple are all over Instagram. Not clandestine shots of them sneaking about. These are phots of them on their social media accounts. The Mirror opts to feature one of Ungerer in a bikini on the beach. Give never looked so titillating.

Journalism, eh. It’s not all speaking truth to power. Sometimes it’s shameless clickbait.

Posted: 13th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Aaron Ramsey leaves Arsenal for £400k-a-week at Juventus

Juventus Ramsey

Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey will earn £400,000 a week for four years at Juventus. The 28-year-old will become the highest paid British footballer ever.

Arsenal will get nothing.

But someone will earn 3.7m euros (£3.2m). Juventus says those are the “costs” of the deal.

Says Ramsey to Arsenal fans: “You welcomed me as a teenager and have been there through all the highs and lows I’ve encountered during my time at the club. It is with a heavy heart that I leave after 11 incredible years. Thank you.”

He said “heavy heart” not “heavy wallet”.

PS: Ozil on £350,000-a-week doesn’t look so pricey now.

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Manchester City say sorry for thrashing Chelsea and enjoying it

There will be singing of only acceptable chants at the football. The Premier League is no place for spontaneity. Goals will reviewed by a panel in a studio before being awarded. Soccer will be part of the “football family” to be played the world over, including in Qatar. Songs will be policed. The PA will be taken from this place and… Man City have formally apologised to Chelsea for blasting out One Step Beyond by Madness – which is, it says here, ‘Chelsea’s victory song’ – over the public address system at the Etihad after dishing out a 6-0 thrashing.

According to the Evening Standard, “senior City officials” ordered the song be cut short and offered their immediate apologies to their Chelsea counterparts for “what could be interpreted as an act of gloating”.

If you can’t gloat after annihilating a rival team and petro-chemical dynasty’s vanity project in an enjoyable and distracting leisure pursuit, when can you gloat? As they say in the City boardroom: don’t mention the score!

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Chelsea, Manchester City, Sports | Comment


Manchester United Balls: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer named new manager – but only in the Sun

Solskjaer

As you were Spurs fans. Relax. Mauricio Pochettino is no longer wanted by Manchester United. The Sun bellows the news that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will be named the full-time manager at Manchester United. It’s a matter of when not if. The Sun says United will wait until the end of the season.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer manager manchester united

Not so, says the BBC. Solskjaer has does brilliantly in his first 11 games as Manchester United’s caretaker manager. He’s rid United of the “toxic atmosphere” created by Jose Mourinho. He’s delivered ten wins from 11 matches. He won over United’s staff with bars of chocolate – on his first day at the club Solskjaer gave all backroom staff bars of duty free chocolate. But the BBC notes: “What happens in the next 11…will probably determine whether the 45-year-old Norwegian gets the job of replacing Jose Mourinho full-time.”

Do we all believe the Sun?

Might be best to wait and see…

higuain-arsenal the sun transfer
He never signed.

And this is what the Sun said of the Norwegian way back in January 2019:

Despite an encouraging start to life as interim manager, Solskjaer has a chequered record as a coach. Having taken Cardiff down he is yet to win a trophy since returning to Molde. How he would deal with a major transfer budget also requires consideration. There must also be questions over whether he possesses the tactical nouse to improve United beyond his honeymoon period.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer it is, then.

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Martial Phwoar! Manchester United striker in Paris sex scoop

Martial sex manchester united

Anorak was looking for the headline ‘Martial Phwoar’, but instead has to make do with the Star’s “exclusive” that Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is a “Cheapskate”.

The paper alleges the player cheated on his pregnant partner, squiring his extra-martial lover in a £70-a-night budget hotel. Or to put it another way: pennywise football does not squander cash but seeks out best rates – possibly by the hour.

Martial’s partner has since given birth to the couple’s son… Swan. And today readers meet “French beauty Malika Semichi”. She says of her alleged tryst at the two-star Hotel du Midi near the Gare de Lyon train station in Paris: “I have to say I was surprised when he told me which hotel he had picked. It wasn’t the nicest and was a bit rundown and cheap, especially seeing as he’s used to much nicer hotels. But I knew he had a girlfriend so presumed it was because he didn’t want anyone to see us together.”

And who can presume anything other than that. After all, as Malika says: “He kept referring to me as his second girlfriend. He made me feel special.” You’re a number 2. Aw, shucks. And it get still more romantic in Paris, city of car-b-cues, angry people in yellow vests and snails a la mode. The Star claims he sent her “a string of snaps showing off his manhood, which this paper has seen”. The paper has seen Martial’s bellend? Bu at least we know now what what a load of snapshots of your knob is called: a string – a word once reserved for pearls?

Posted: 10th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United balls: David de Gea wants £500,000-a-week; or less

daily mail de gea
The Mail says De Gea is off to PSG

Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea, 28, is “insisting” (BBC) the club pay him £350,000-a-week if they want him to sign a new deal. The BBC says this would make him the club’s second highest earner “behind behind [sic] £400,000-a-week Alexis Sanchez, 30.”

Sanchez is criminally overpaid. De Gea wants something close to parity with the Chilean. Will one error of judgement by United lead to disharmony in the ranks?

Manchester United BBC
The BBC repeats the news, literally

The BBC links to a story in the Mirror. But the Mirror doesn’t really know what Sanchez earns. So far it’s provided the following figures for Sanchez’s United wage – the taxman may be interested:

£2m a month – Feb 9 2019

£400,000 a week – Sept 22 2018

£390,000 per week – May 11 2018

£25.5m a year – Jan 22 2018

£500,000 per week – Feb 8, 2018

£400,000-a-week – Jan 29 2018

In other transfer gossip, Manchester United fancy Lyon midfielder Tanguy Ndombele and Norwich City defender Ben Godfrey, 21. Both should cost less than Sanchez or De Gea.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 10th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Liverpool balls: Mane offside for ‘lovely goal’; Howe wants VAR; Bournemouth and West Ham robbed

Liverpool

Sadio Mane was “offside” (BBC) when he opened the scoring in Liverpool’s 3-0 win at Bournemouth. Mane has scored in four successive Premier League games for the first time in his career. The first goal should not have stood. What says the media – is it biased?

The AFC Bournemouth website says, “the Senegalese frontman was offside as James Milner’s delivery was swung into the box”. Bournemouth manger Eddie Howe added: “VAR will help us in those situations, I think that will benefit everybody, it was tight but offside was the right decision.”

The Liverpool FC website makes no mention of VAR, noting, “Sadio Mane set them on their way to victory with a header midway through the first half.” The offside goal was not one of the site’s ‘Talking Points”. This is how the LFC liveblog saw the goal:

GOALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! MANE!!!
Breakthrough for Liverpool and yet again it’s Mane.
The Senegal international meets Milner’s delivery from the right with a firm downward header beyond Boruc. A lovely goal.
Get in!
Liverpool 1-0 Bournemouth

Offside! Not on Liverpool where it was a “lovely goal”. Liverpool scored their first goal during a 1-1 draw at West Ham from a blatant offside position. The LFC website reported that egregious error thus: “Sadio Mane’s swift spin and finish put the away team ahead midway through the first half at the London Stadium.”

Lallana’s immaculate control and quick feet on the right touchline freed Milner to roll a pass to the front post and Mane. The No.10 artfully rolled around Issa Diop and planted a confident left-foot finish beyond Lukasz Fabianski.

Or as the official West Ham United site put it:

West Ham looked to have valid protests that Milner was in an offside position, but the linesman’s flag stayed down.

They say luck and bad decisions even out over a season. Liverpool will be hoping that’s not the case. If it is, they’re in big trouble.

Posted: 9th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Manchester City balls: Spurs win by losing but Pep’s pots count for nought

Stan Collymore’s Daily Mirror column continues to demand that we light the torches and march on Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City. Trouble is that the glare from those burning fires has blinded Collymore to facts and the tiniest muon of circumspection and reason. Compare and contrast what the former Liverpool striker said about Mauricio Pochettino and then about Guardiola.

Collymore on Pochettino’s desperate statement that finishing in the Premier League’s top four is better than winning any cup:

One of the greatest managers in recent history who we’ve given a lot of stick to was Jose Mourinho. At Chelsea, what did he target? The League Cup. Coming so early in the season it is a trophy that can get you off and running…

Managers, said Collymore, should be chasing “every single trophy”. Because they all matter. Unless you’re Pep Guardiola.

Here’s Collymore on Pep being unsuccessful by, er, winning a cup:

The one thing the Premier League will do is test every single thing about you. If you don’t believe me, look at Pep Guardiola. Recognised as one of the top three or four managers in the world over the last decade, he could go into this fourth season at Manchester City having won one English title and no Champions Leagues. And that’s with the biggest budget in English football.

Guardiola joined Manchester City at the start of the 2016-2017 season. He’s in his third full season at the club. Guardiola finished his first season at City with no trophies – the only time he’s finished a season without a trophy. The next season – 2017-18 – City beat Arsenal 0–3 to win the Carabao Cup. They won the Premier League with a record-breaking 100 points. Right now City are top of the PL table, still in the Champions League and FA Cup, and will contest the Carabao Cup final with Chelsea. And they play some fabulous football.

Collymore thinks the Carabao Cup doesn’t matter when Guadiola wins it and matters greatly when Pochettino doesn’t? Can the Mirror get this man a sub-editor?

Posted: 7th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment


Chelsea balls: Willian off; Hazard decides; Luiz on a free; and a transfer ban

Chelsea ban transfer

Sports writing highlights in the London Evening Standard, which brings news of Chelsea FC’s Willian. On Page 57, we read a story continued from the “back page”. But the back page features only an advert for a movie called Alita Battle Angel – which Willian is not in (I checked). No word on him on page 59 either. But on page 58, we learn that Chelsea’s Eden Hazard has decided his future. The Belgian tells French radio station RMC: “I know what I am going to do. I have made decision.” How very subtle and elusive he is.

And on page 57 we get told that Willian is going to be a victim of “Chelsea’s strict over-30 policy”. So strict is this policy that the Blues just signed Gonzalo Higuain – the 31-year-old – with options to extend the loan or sign him permanently. The Standard says Chelsea “won’t change their contract policy regaling players over 30”, without telling readers what that policy is. I can tell you that Chelsea only offers one-year contract extensions to the over-30s. David Luiz and Gary Cahill are two over-30s whose contracts expire in the summer, when both can leave on a Bosman free transfer.

Chelsea Willian transfer

The Standard also fails to mention Chelsea’s problems of the field. Fifa has invested the club over potential rule breaches with regard to more than 100 foreign players under the age of 18.

Chelsea says they have “fully cooperated with Fifa and provided comprehensive evidence demonstrating its compliance with the applicable Fifa regulations”. but should they be found guilty and a transfer ban imposed, Willian won’t be going anywhere – and Luiz can write his own cheque.

Posted: 5th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Manchester United to double Rashford’s wages

How much is Marcus Rashford worth to Manchester United? Talk is of Real Madrid testing the water with a £100m bid for the striker. United pay Rashford around £75,000-a-week. They pay Anthony Martial £200,000-a-week. Clearly either Rashford is being underpaid or else Martial has just agree a five-year deal that overvalues his contributions to United.

Rashford has started all eight Premier League games since Ole Gunnar Solskjaer took over from Jose Mourinho, scoring six times. In that time, Martial has scored twice.

Meanwhile… over in Russia, Mourinho was tossing an ice puck to start an ice hockey match. There he was was stood on a roll of carpet between two players. On the way back to his seat Mourinho slipped. Lots of people noticed – but we’ve one question: what is it with Mourinho and red carpets?

Posted: 5th, February 2019 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Arsenal balls: Emery’s transfer budget

Arsenal transfer budget

Arsenal have a strange squad of players, a composite blend of the over-paid, over-hyped and under-performing. But worry not. New blood is on the way. The Sun says Arsenal are looking to recruit at least five new faces for next season. And they have a whopping £40m to get them. The transfer budget will go up should Arsenal qualify for the Champions League either by finishing in the top four or winning the Europa League. Can they do it? Can a club that paid over £30m for the lumpen Mustafi and let Aaron Ramsey leave for free do something right? If they do, then Emery will have £60m for spend on new faces – what Manchester City invest in a reserve full back.

The Sun, however, doesn’t tell readers who that figure was arrived at. why wold Arsenal go public with their budget? And why does the Mail tell its readers: “Emery’s Transfer budget is only £45m.” And in the Mail Arsenal needs “at least three players” to “join the elite”.

All utter tosh, of course. Arsenal are the elite:

Arsenal money

Arsenal do have the money. They also have an absentee owner uninterested in seeing his team win on the field.

Posted: 5th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, News, Sports | Comment


Arsenal Balls: 4 years since last away win over Big 6 team; greedy Stan Kroenke to blame; Emery needs 10 new players

Stan Kronke arsenal
Stan Kroenke – the man with one plan: milk the club and, er, that’s it

It is now four years and 21 matches since Arsenal last won away from home against a big-six rival — a 2-0 win against Manchester City in January 2015. Under Stan Kroenke’s ownership, Arsenal have dropped and dropped. Kroenke is the greedy, absentee owner the club never deserved. He puts no stock in the team winning on the pitch. There is no reflective glory. Arsenal fans would wager and win the bet that Kroenke doesn’t even know who Unai Emery is. It’s all just about dividends and cash. Kroenke doesn’t support Arsenal; Arsenal supports him and his avarice.

Arsenal’s way form against their so-called Premier League title rivals is dire. These are the points won in games away to the big six since that City victory:

Team
Man City Games 23, points 31
Liverpool 21, 24
Man Utd 21, 23
C Palace 24, 20
Southampton 24, 16
West Ham 24, 16
Chelsea 18, 16
Tottenham 19, 15
Leicester City 26, 14
West Brom 21, 12
Swansea City 20, 12
Burnley 19, 9
Everton 25, 8
Bournemouth 22, 8
Arsenal 21, 7
Newcastle 19, 5
Stoke City 19, 5
Watford 20, 4
Aston Villa 10, 3
Sunderland 15, 2
Huddersfield 10,2

Spotter: The Times

Posted: 4th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Media Balls: Arenal robbed; Aguero cheats; Manchester City go full bizarro world

Aguero handball manchester city
An arse and his elbow

Handball it was, then. The third goal scored by Sergio Aguero as his Manchester City beat Arsenal 3-1 in the Premier League went in off his forearm. The ball was travelling away from the Arsenal goal when Aguero tapped it in with his arm. What say the players and clubs?

Sergio Aguero: “I thought it came off my chest but now I see on TV it was handball.” Hats off to Aguero for that utter twaddle.

The Sun: “The ball was diverted into the net by Aguero’s elbow”.

Arsenal FC: “Sterling beats his marker and crosses to Aguero, who looks to have scored with his arm… Despite our protests, the goal stands.”

Manchester City FC: “Sterling ran into the box and with no challenge, continued on before sliding another fine cross into the middle that Leno pushed onto the upper half of the sliding-in Aguero’s body and the ball trickled over the line.”

Ha. The upper half of his body – you know, where your arms and hands are. Or what Aguero calls “my chest”.

The City website adds: “It was a bizarre way to complete yet another Aguero hat-trick, but nobody was complaining!”

Well, aside from the Arsenal players and fans who had seen their team cheated, no-one was complaining at all.

Posted: 4th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Newcastle sign Almiron from, er, Arsenal

Almiron NEwcastle
‘I am so happy to sign for Arsenal United’

Transfer Balls looks at dire football reporting. So news that Miguel Almiron has joined Newcastle United is interesting. On October 7 2018, the Daily Star told its readers:

Arsenal news: Miguel Almiron set for Emirates move after £11m Atlanta United deal agreed

Nothing was agreed. But the Star’s URL hammered home its scoop:

Almiron daily star arsenal
The robots spread the word: Almiron was a Gunner

The Daily Mirror had much the same news:

Almiron arsenal mirror
Arsenal fans waiting to meet the ‘sensation’ they were ‘introduced to will have to wait until their side plays Newcastle

Such are the facts.

Posted: 31st, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal Transfer Balls: Nkunku in; Perisic stalemate; Carrasco waits

Arsenal are still in the chase for PSG’s Christopher Nkunku. Having signed Denis Surez on a loan deal with an option to buy at the season’s end, the Gunners seem determined to buy a field a team of small, slight midfielders. Suarez, Knunku and Torreira add up in terms of weight and height to one Patrick Vieira.

In other news, moves to recruit the rather brilliant Ivan Perisic from Inter Milan have come to nought. The Italians want £35m for the Croatian now. Arsenal want to give them a set of Gunnersaurus shinpads and some gum until June when the bank will releases some funds. Inter won’t wait. Perisic has handed in a transfer request. Inter says he’s been “misled”. The deal looks dead unless someone blinks.

Yannick Carrasco could still arrive, however. Arsenal want him. Carrasco wants them. But the Belgian’s current club, Dalian Yifang, want more money than Arsenal are offering. See a theme developing?

Posted: 30th, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Manchester United transfers: Felix in; Martial signs; Fellaini gone

Farewell, Marouane Fellaini, who has left Manchester Untied for Shandong Luneng on a three-year contract in a deal worth around £8million a year. We only pity whoever’s sat on the plan next to the jutting Belgian. Those elbows never did have enough room on a pitch. But he’s on decent money and can book three seats.

In place of the big lad in the middle and up front and in your face, Manchester United will look to buy Benfica and Portugal’s 19-year-old Joao Felix. In 2018, Fellaini calculated that it would cost Manchester United almost £44 million to replace him. Felix should cost less. The rest of us should wonder if Fellaini estimates his value by the square inch and not in terms of dribbling ability and other more traditional skillsets.

In other news, Anthony Martial has agreed a new fie-year contract. The burly Frenchman has scored 46 goals in 161 outings since joining the club for £36m in 2015. Back then he was the main man. Then came another teenage sensation, one Kylian Mbappe, and Martial looked lackadaisical and aloof. Still, a big money, long-term deal will surely enliven him – and give United a better chance of getting a decent return on their investment.

Posted: 30th, January 2019 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Arsenal sign Denis Suarez

denis suarez arsenal

Arsenal have signed Denis Suarez from Barcelona. The Spaniard will play for Arsenal until the end of the season. Before he decamped for London, Suarez signed a one-year extension on his Barcelona contract, which was due to expire in summer 2020. This means he won’t be able to able to leave on a free in June – and if Arsenal want him they’ll have to pay a transfer fee. The deal gives Arsenal first option to buy Suarez. What do Arsenal get for their money? A technically proficient, small-ish midfielder. With a bit of luck, he’ll be the new Santi Cazorla. With less luck, he’ll be the new Denilson.



Posted: 30th, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Arsenal Transfer Round-Up: Gueye, Nkunku, Peresic, Tielemans and Peresic all in; Elneny out

Arsenal like Everton’s Idrissa Gueye. So do Manchester City. The Senegal player can either join the current champions and play in the Champions League for loadsa money, or aim to be a bit better than Elneny – the Gunners are keen to offload the Egyptian – and snatch the chance to work with Gunnersaurus. No contest. See you in London, Idrissa. Paris Saint-Germain also want him. But that club is more desperate than an adolescent on a foreign exchange trip, and they employ a mascot in the shape of a lynx. It’s called Germain. Why? Well, according to the people that invented this ambulatory plushy:

Our BAM Mascot team fabricated a Lynx mascot costume for the PSG club. We believe that mascots should represent the characteristics of your team. So why did PSG select a Lynx? In mythology, a Lynx is known for it’s supernatural abilities and strength, and in modern times, a Lynx is seen as a powerful hunter with excellent eyesight, attributes that translate to sports abilities – good vision, winning instinct, competitiveness.

In more modern time Lynx is the name of a cheap perfume for men marketed as an aid to scoring. It’s very Paris. In other countries Lynx is known as Axe, which given the nature of managerial appointments at PSG is also very apposite.

If PSG get Gueye, Arsenal could get the French club’s midfielder Christopher Nkunku. Or they could go for Monaco’s 21-year-old Youri Tielemans. And there’s Yannick Carrasco, the Belgian who wants to leave Chinese club Dalian Yifang. Arsenal could opt for him if they fail in a bid for Inter Milan’s Ivan Perisic. Lots of maybes, then. Although one thing is certain: Arsenal aren’t getting anew central defender. Maybe Gunnersaurus will finally get a go?

Posted: 30th, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Talking Balls: Spurs title win would better Leicester City’s 2016 effort

Line of the day comes from former Liverpool and Leicester City player Stan Collymore now working as a Daily Mirror columnist. The job of a columnist is to foment debate. So (MAGA) hats off to Collymore for this hot take on Mauricio Pochettino’s Spurs:

In fact, if Pochettino this season wins the Premier League or Champions League either of them will be the singular biggest achievement of an English club manager since Brian Clough won back-to-back European Cups with Nottingham Forest. I’d consider it better than Leicester as their title win a few years ago was a true one-off while Spurs are expected to compete.’

Previously in the Tele:

Daily Telegraph – September 27 2000

As the Spurs fans sing, ‘If you know your history…’

Posted: 29th, January 2019 | In: Back pages, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Denis Suarez in; Perisic agrees Manchester United but wants Arsenal

Arsenal fans have had a few weeks to find out who Denis Suarez is and what he does. And now the Barcelona substitute is on his way to the club. He’ll join Arsenal for the rest of the season for a fee of €2.5million (Standard). So good is Suarez that Barca wanted a permanent transfer but Arsenal insisted on a loan move. Really Betis and Sevilla, where Suarez was out on loan when Unai Emery was in charge, were happy to pay around £20m for the midfielder. But he only wanted to play in the Premier League. So that’s that.

The odd bit is that Suarez, who is out of contract in 2020, will join Arsenal after signing a new deal to remain for longer at Barcelona. The Spaniards will only let him leave if he stays.

One other on his way into the Gunners is Inter Milan’s Ivan Perisic. The Indy says inviting in the talented Croatia is a huge mistake. But too late! Eurosport says a deal has been “agreed”. Perisic, says the broadcaster, will earn around €3m for the rest of the season at Arsenal and then after a hefty purchase price in June – a fee of around €30m is mooted – another €6m a season for the next three years. A dead cert then. Just as it was in 2017, when the Express announced: “Ivan Perisic agrees £6.2m-a-year deal with Manchester United.” And: “Man Utd agree £40m transfer fee with Inter Milan for Ivan Perisic.” He remained at Inter.



Posted: 29th, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


It cost Arsenal £17m to get shot of Arsene Wenger

wenger

It took more than placards and hashtags to defenestrate Arsene Wenger from Arsenal. Sky says it took £17.1m. Not that he got the lot. The Times says the £17m was paid to Wenger and his staff on condition of them leaving pronto.

Wenger had a year left on his contract when he sacked after 22 years in charge – and a decade at the helm of a club resting on its laurels. Of Wenger’s key staff, Steve Bould remained as assistant manager. You may wonder what the stalwart defender of George Graham’s fabled Arenal back four, one of the key exponents of ‘If in doubt, kick it out’ defending, is coaching the current feeble backline. Maybe in his head Bouldy was beating two players, shimmying past the ‘keeper and scoring for fun, and seeks to live out his dream in the unlikely shape of the insufferable and wholly useless Shkodran Mustafi. Arsenal fans will settle for the practicality of defenders taking out a man and ball in no-nonsense challenges and flicking it on at near post corners routines.

What Bouldy earns is not revealed. But the club’s latest accounts show that revenue dropped from £422.8 million to £388.2 million. And that Ivan Gazidis – aka Ivan The Terrible – got a pay rise before she legged it to AC Milan.

Posted: 29th, January 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Money, Sports | Comment