Technology | Anorak - Part 45

Technology Category

Independent news, views, opinions and reviews on the latest gadgets, games, science, technology and research from Apple and more. It’s about the technologies that change the way we live, work, love and behave.

What You Get When Surfing Porn In Dubai And The UAE

IF you are looking for porn, Facebook and lots of other stuff on the web in the UAE, including that fascist kingdom of sand and cement that is Dubai, you get to see this. Although, you can join HH Sheikh Mohammed on Twitter

Spotter: reader Cath. B.

Posted: 23rd, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

The New Samsung 3DTV Is The TV That Can

CAN 3D imropve TV? Can making everything look real make dire telly better more entertaining and informative? Will you dive left or right to save or dodge Wayne Rooney’s shot?

Will Phil Mitchell swing for you and miss? All entertainment can be improved upon with modern technology.

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Posted: 22nd, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

How To Stop Wild Boars Killing German Drivers

FOLLOWING our gallery of animals taking on people – and winning – news reaches us that there are so many wild boars in Europe that worries are that drivers will crash into one.

German car club ADAC has conducted crash tests on boars. No, not real boars, but big plastic ones. Or, so they say…

In 2009, 27 people died and 3,000 were injured last year in collisions with deer, boars, rabbits and wildcats. The advice is:

“If a wild animal appears suddenly, apply the brakes as hard as possible, keep a tight grip on the steering wheel and stay in the lane. In the worst case scenario, a collision with the animal has to be accepted.”


Posted: 21st, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (7)

The Most Useless IPad App Ever: The Daily Express iDiana

THE iPad will revolutionise everything in the media. If it can fold up, cost a few pence and have an emergency toilet paper function, the iPad can replace newspapers. For now, it can enhance the Daily Express.

With the Express app. you cutting-edge tech kids can keep up with your favourite read.

You need never miss a story on Our Maddie, Princess Diana’s latest haircut or thieving gipsy scum begging for nuts and children in your lounge.

Spotter: Bitter Wallet

Posted: 16th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Why The 2010 Lexus GX 460 Is Being Recalled

YOU know when we told you that the Toyota Lexus wasn’t safe and liable to smoke and run out of control without a driver? You know that picture, reproduced now for your perusal?

Well, news is that Toyota will stop selling 2010 Lexus GX 460s for a while because it runs a risk of tuning over on sharp turns. And then there’s the smoke…

Posted: 15th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Twitter Ads Look Just Like Twitter PR

TWITTER has taken months and months of brainstorming and hard creating to comes up with a way to make money from the thing. And it’s come up with… interspersing your Tweets about your latest book/record/ thought/dump with ads.

Yep, it’s time to commericalise the PR.

Of course, what it should have done is… Well, I’ll save it for the Twitter page. When we get to 1 million fans, we’ll reveal all…

Spotter: David Berkowitz

Posted: 13th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Breaking: Lexus In Recall Fire Alert

THE news advert for the Toyota Lexus Lexus revels a hidous fire peril. Recall! Recall! Recall!

No smoke without fire, right? No smoke without driver!

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Posted: 13th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Stephen Timms, Minister For Digital Britain, Says Your IP Address Stands For ‘Intellectual Property’

THE Digital Economy Bill was passed by technology illiterates, not least of all, Stephen Timms, the Financial Secretary to the Treasury and Minister for Digital Britain, who in a letter dated “32 Feb 2010” says “IP” stands for “Intellectual Property” address and not Internet Protocol.

The full letter is repeated for you to enjoy:


Posted: 8th, April 2010 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment (1)

Stockport Couple In Passport Sex Swap Shocker

ON Marilyn Walker’s passports there’s a picture of her husband, Terrence Walker. Says she, of Cheadle Hulme, Stockport:

“I was flabbergasted. I thought I had picked up my husband’s passport by accident and then I saw it said Marilyn Walker. I couldn’t believe they would make such a simple mistake.”

She adds:

“It makes me wonder what’s happened to my pictures. They could now be on someone else’s passport.”

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Posted: 6th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (4)

Greg Packer is Mr FIRST The iPad, Harry Potter, New York Giants Screamer

GREG Packer is the man at the head of the line to buy an iPad. Expects – get his – there’s no line. With his iPad, Mr Packer can list how many times he screams “FIRST” at a shop assistant.

Greg Pecker is Mr FIRST. His list of FIRSTS:

•The Super Bowl victory rally for the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2006
•The Super Bowl victory rally of the New York Giants
•The 2005 release of the novel Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
•Bill Clinton’s first book signing
•Greeting President George W. Bush after his inauguration

He at the Apple store in New York. Mr Pecker reminds Anorak of the time I, ahem, happened to be near Westminster Abbey for the big Princess Diana send off. A trip to the loos behind the Foreign Office and an overheard chat:

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Posted: 2nd, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

The Incredible Non-Starting Starting Autin 12/4

IN the Don’t Make Them Like They Used To story of the week, the Daily Mail brings news of the Austin 12/4, not driven since 1961.

Says the Mail:

Rare Austin which stood in garage for 50 years discovered… and starts first time!

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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Gmail Boss Eric Schmidt Remembers To Always Delete His Emails

ERIC Schmidt, the CEO Eric Schmidt of Google, owners of YouTube, says in a court case investigating alleged copyright-infringement against Viacom, that he doesn’t keep his emails.

It has been my practice for 30 years not to retain my e-mails unless asked specifically. It was my practice to delete or otherwise cause the e-mails that I had read to go away as quickly as possible.”

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Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Google Used To Solve Crime in Bromsgrove

TO Aston Fields, Bromsgrove, where Google Maps takes on the case of the cyclist struck in the head by an object tossed from a van. The Bromsgrove Advertiser reports:

The van is said to be a white Ford Connect with large lettering on the side of it, possibly including the letters CCS and some smaller letters, which may have included the words ‘law enforcement’.

Interesting. And in the spirit of civil order we tell you:

Anyone with information is asked to call Bromsgrove police on 0300 333 3000, quoting incident 729-S-220310, or crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.

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Posted: 26th, March 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

In Pictures: Batman Arkham Asylum Presents The 2010 Game British Academy Video Games Awards

THE 2010 Game British Academy Video Games Awards at the London Hilton.
was a chance to see Charlie Brooker get some material for his new telly show and to spot X Factor’s skiddy poo dancer Olly Murs pulling a ‘spaz’ face not often seen outside a primary school playground. Emily Atack and George Lamb made up some more showbiz faces. But the stars were the makers of Batman Arkham Asylum, which scooped the Best Game award and Shigeru Miyamoto, General Manager of Nintendo Entertainment, Analysis & Development, who won an Academy Fellowship for inventing the DS, a toy that means parents don’t have to argue with their children any more, nor ever speak with them again…


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The makers of 'Batman Arkham Asylum' with their Baftas for Best Game, with Charlie Brooker far right, at the 2010 Game British Academy Video Games Awards at the London Hilton.

Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

China Trials Twitter: Results In Glorious Pictures

GOOGLE is all set to pull out of China. But Anorak’s man in Chengdu says the Chinese are not too bothered and have been trialling Twitter in that affair land. We’ve been sent this extract of typical Twitter exchange on Chitter:

Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

In Photos: The 80th International Motor Show

THE 80th International Motor Show in Geneva, Switzerland, features lots of big gas-burning cars and lots more hybrids. It was great. Better still when we spotted the Citroen Revolta. We’ll take two. We also kept a watch for the Axis cars that inexplicably crash while you’re texting? He has more.


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The new Alfa Romeo Giulietta is on display during the 80th International Motor Show in Geneva, Switzerland.

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Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Nintendo Fine Super Mario Pirate $1.5M: The Blame Game

marioJAMES Burt has agreed to pay Nintendo $1.5 million in damages plus $100,000 in court costs for uploading Super Mario Bros Wii to the internet. Burt’s other claism to fame is that he is “the first Australian individual to be sued in the Federal Court for game piracy.”

Burt has agreed to pay the fee for playing the game. And if he works hard he might just be able to:

Burt, who works at a Brisbane freight forwarding company, obtained a copy of Super Mario Bros Wii and made it available for download on November 6, a week before the title’s official release, through a website since closed down “out of respect for Nintendo”.

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Posted: 10th, February 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Dom Joly To Be Face Of New iPad

dom-joly-iphoneUK Funnyman DOM JOLY is delighted with the new iPhone. With the new bigger iPhone – already nicknamed the iPad by the cool elite – you can prove to anyone within 250 yards that you’re a charmless, vain, pretentious, needy tosser.

With the new iScream sound system, you can enjoy the following conversation in earshot of anyone in your train carriage and the next two along:

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Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (3)

How To Get A Date Online: A Picture Guide

dating1WANT to pull online? This study of profile photo correlated pulling to the photo you sumbit of your ideal self. Be warned:

Now, you’re always told to look happy and make eye contact in social situations, but at least for your online dating photo, that’s just not optimal advice. For women, a smile isn’t strictly better: she actually gets the most messages by flirting directly into the camera [… However,] flirting away from the camera is the single worst attitude a woman can take. Certain social etiquettes apply even online: if you’re going to be making eyes at someone, it should be with the person looking at your picture.

Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile:

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Posted: 24th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Naked Body Scanners Miss Bomb Parts, Spot Bottle Opener: Video

THOSE airport full-body scanners are great. In this demo, German TV discovers that the scanners can detect pretty much everything  – knife, mobile phone, child – except…bombs:


Posted: 23rd, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

The Dot Me Replaced The Dot Yu: Chuckle Brothers Storm Montenegro

THE Wikipedia page about the .me domain – which is big in Montenegro. So too are the Chuckle Brothers:

The dot-ME top level domain replaced the dot-YU (Yugoslavia) domain previously used by Serbia and Montenegro. In addition to declaring .me independent of .yu, a new .rs domain was deployed for Serbian use.

Me from Yu. It’s Rs. To me. To Yu. To me…


Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Porn And The Internet: By Numbers

PORN on the internet boils down to one thing: American capitalism.



Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

In Pictures: Google’s ‘Nexus One’ iPhone With Free Tiger Woods Umbrella App.

8178485ANORAK was in Paris to see a huge meeting between a BlackBerry, a Google phone Smart phone ‘Nexus One’ and an iPhone.

Tiger Woods’ Women (Alleged)

The summit was a big deal in technological terms and after extensive studies we discovered:

• Nine out of ten iPhone users employ the phrase “I’m on the iPhone” when taking journeys on public transport

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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

4chan Declares January 6 2010 YouTube Porn Day, No Cats Day Follows

WEDNESDAY January 6th 2010 is YouTube Porn Day, as decreed by 4chan. The account of a Lukeywes1234 has been suspended by YouTube, and in response 4chan members will hit the online video compiler with loadsa porn.

That’s right, kids – no need to search. The porn comes to you. It will be interesting if YouTube gets a traffic spike. Of cous, to relly hurt YouTube you need not not inflict boring porn on the masses but declare a No Cats Day…

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Posted: 5th, January 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Twitter Passwords Banned List: Nicholas, Oliver, Broncos And Chelsea

ashley-cole-banned-twitter1TWITTER has released a list of passwords that it’s members are banned from using. The list is a mixture of the obvious and the creators’ own prejudices. Banned words include the sports teams Chelsea, Broncos and Packers, and such names as Nicholas, Anthony, Ashley and Oliver, and Ferrari. Anyone who uses those as passwords is a fool and shunned by Twitter, and, preferably, decent society. Imaginative swear words are encouraged.

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Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Technology | Comment