Technology | Anorak - Part 45

Technology Category

Independent news, views, opinions and reviews on the latest gadgets, games, science, technology and research from Apple and more. It’s about the technologies that change the way we live, work, love and behave.

The Greatest Self-Timer Photograph Ever

EAT your heart out Adrianne Curry, Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian, Coco and all other Twitter self-pic promoters. Presenting the greatest self-timer picture ever. You point the camera. You click the self-timer. You get into position. And the technology does the rest… Picture 2 is the money shot:

Twitter Pics – The Sexy Celeb Ones
Tila Tequila (NSFW)
Page 3 Girls Retrospective

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Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment (1)

World Cup: England Fans Miss The Goal As ITV HD Goes Down

FOR those of you watching the World Cup on ITV in swanky HD, Steven Gerrard scored a goal. He scored while you were watching an advert. He scored in black and white. He scored on the radio. He scored on the web. He scored on the normal telly.

World Cup: Barack Obama Thanks ‘Agent’ Beckham

An ITV spokeswoman says:

“A transmission problem temporarily affected ITV1’s HD service during the England-USA match. ITV standard definition service continued uninterrupted. We apologise for the interruption in transmission.”

Adding: “But what an interruption! The clarity!!”


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USA fans display a banner in the stands

Posted: 12th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (5)

Is The Riversimple Hydrogen Car Britain’s Tata Tano?

THE Riversimple hydrogen fuel cell car is on its way to Leicester. Can it be the UK’s own Tata Tano? Inventor Hugo Spowers motored the prototype at De Montfort Hall in Leicester. In 2010, Riversimple will site and operate a refuelling point for fleet of 30 cars. The car, constructed at Silverstone, can reach top speed of 50 mph and can go 200 miles on a single tank of hydrogen – equivalent of 300 miles per gallon. It weighs 350 kg. Would you drive one? Or drive over one?


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Inventor Hugo Spowers with a prototype of the Riversimple hydrogen fuel cell car at De Montfort Hall in Leicester.

Posted: 10th, June 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (13)

Environmentalist Michelle Branch Launches 4×4 Mini Countryman

WITH Michelle Branch to the launch of the Mini Countryman, a new 4×4 MINI. What better place for the Mini Countryman’s unveiling than Mudchute City Farm in east London. Yes, the launch of car attended by Michelle Branch – the environmentalist. (Timbaland went too.)

As she writes:

I am on my way to San Francisco to play a few acoustic songs for an amazing event this evening and wanted to share it with you all. Since becoming a mother, the reality of the state of our planet has become a very real fear. It has inspired many changes in my own family’s lives. We’ve changed to a mostly vegan diet which I know most of you have all been so curious about. In a few months I will be launching a “green” tour. Not only will we be using bio-diesel for our tour buses but our other goals are having a full “green” set and merch made of recycled and organic, reuseable materials. As you can tell, this is very close to my heart.

And the band played on…


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Michelle Branch performs at the launch party for the Mini Countryman, at the Mudchute City Farm in east London.

Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

First UK eBay Seller Prosecuted For Online Auction Fixing

PAUL Barrett, 39, from Stanley, is the first eBay seller in the UK to be prosecuted for online auction fixing – he bid against himself to inflate the price on his own items.

Skipton Magistrates’ Court heard that Barrett, who hires out minibuses for a living, was called “shanconpaul” when selling and “paulthebusman” when buying.

(He should learn from online poker and have pals in other parts of the world to fix the thing for him, allegedly.)

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Posted: 7th, June 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

iPad Triggers Surge In Newspaper Sales In Japan: Want To Know Why?

THE iPad is the new way to spot a tosser on the Tube. Or is it?

In Japan, you can’t see the iPad because the shame-faced punters and posers are wrapping the things (chip wrappers – geddit?!) around their iPads on the underground.

The given excuse is that it stops them being stolen. The real rason we have touched upon: shame.

How the iPad saved newspapers… Read all about it!

Posted: 3rd, June 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Daily Express Readers Invited To Give Facebook Thumbs Up To Derrick Bird Massacre

DERRICK Bird: How much does the media – and Facebook – like Derrick Bird?

Well, he has allowed the media to be full of facts. How many are dead? 12! 13! Any more? Come on. Any more? We’re waiting…

And there’s loadsa opinion about why it happened. Like these. And those. And his. Derrick Bird has allowed the media to titillate us with gory details.

Do, do we like it? Facebook users of the Daily Express wants to know. Do you want to be the first of your friends to like the story of death and maiming. Thumbs up?

File under: perils of using social media. Spotter: Belam


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Whitehaven taxi driver Don Reed who was shot and injured by Derrick Bird who went on a shooting rampage in Cumbria, killing 12 people.

Posted: 3rd, June 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (3)

Before iPad And Apple A Pictorial History Of Computers

BEFORE the iPad and apple made computing into a thing for posers and the superficial, the machines were going to save the world. They would feed penguins. They would mow the lawn. They would launch rockets and play chess. Remember Commodore Computers and the ZX Spectrum? We do. We’ve put together an archive of pictures of how computers used to be sold to the masses. It’s was high-tech boffinry. It as in black and white…


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Leslie Russell computer operator at Trans-World airlines new data communications centre in Rockleigh, New Jersey, USA, was looking to the future at her "Moon Desk" after the fwentastic success of Apollo 10's lunar mission. The company received 3,000 requests for reservations to the moon. Though there was no immediate prospect of regular lunar flights, the requests were transferred to magnetic tape for storage when TWA activated it's computerised reservations system on it's round the world routes.

Posted: 31st, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Spot The IT Consultant: Horrified IT Expert Mistaken For Real Estate Agent

CAN you spot the IT Consultant amid a sea of estate agents at Dean’s Property, your first choice for property in Sydney’s fringe? Where’s Paul? It’s gonna be tough to spot him. But study hard. Ignore your preconceptions, prejudices and stereotypes. Just stick to the facts. Good luck!

Posted: 30th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Jake Lee Buys The First apple iPad In The UK And Everyone Loves Him

JAKE LEE becomes the first person in the UK to buy an Apple iPad. Jake, 17, from Theydon Bois, Essex, was spotted leaving the Apple Store in Regent Street, central London, after buying the new Apple iPad.

Jake looks delighted as throws off the austerity of his parent’s generation and forks out a few hundred pounds for a new computer. One day – hours, maybe days, from now – Jake will look back and say:

“I was there. I was there when apple iPads went. I queued. I shopped. I  plugged it in and on it read about a new apple product even better than the iPad. I put the iPad in a draw and dashed out to buy thsi new marvel. But it was not yet in the shops. I twitched with anticipation. I made Steve Jobs richer!”

Anyone unable to afford the iPad, can achieve the same effect by sticking a huge apple logo to their face and writing “I am a posing, superficial knob” on the foreheads in felt tip.

Apple users will nod and wave. Because they know…


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Customers queue overnight at the Apple store in London's Regent Street to be the first owners of the new Apple iPad.

Posted: 28th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (4)

Win A New iPad And Get A Free Mobile Apple Idiot App.

THE Apple iPad is on sale, and anyone keen to look like an utter twat is lining up outside the Apple store in London’s Regent Street. The iPad is not just a massive phone, a big baby activity centre for people who shun work on the computer, preferring to spend hundreds of pounds on a new way to read the paper and buy new apps for their iPhone. The iPad is made for posing, sad tosspots looking for a new way to show everyone what a needy pillock they are. Thanks to the iPad, you can now spot the superficial from at least a hundred paces. The mobile idiot app is upon is. Look for the Apple…

Buy the iPhone 4 and other Apple devices from Phones4u


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Customers queue overnight at the Apple store in London's Regent Street to be the first owners of the new Apple iPad.

Posted: 28th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (19)

People Worried By Facebook Privacy Join

MARK Zuckerberg’s Facebook is going to take your privacy issues seriously. All those millions of you that uploaded photos of your mum, your kids, your home, your collection of toenail clippings, listed your likes and dislikes, told us your mother’s maiden name, your height, commented on your sex life and your pet causes and showed off your friends can now rest assured that your privacy is sacrosanct.

Now, you’ll be able to make your stuff private by clicking a box saying “private”. And it will be private, visible to only Facebook company workers and whoever gets into the system.

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Posted: 27th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Woman Claims 3D Porn Film Made Her Pregnant

TECHEYE’S Dean Wilson brings news of the woman made pregnant by a 3D pornographic film:

“US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find that his wife was pregnant. Clearly he assumed she had an affair, but his wife Jennifer claims the “other man” was actually someone a little less physical.

It seems he actually buys her story, however. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible,” he said.

What’s even more interesting is that both Jennifer and Erick are white, but the child is black. Jeniffer claims the kid looks like the black pornstar she had been ogling. She also claims this was one of the first times she’s watched porn and only went with friends for the 3D effect. TechEye did a survey of one person and found 100 percent would say the same thing in a similar situation.”

Says Spotter Bat E Bird, “I don’t care if it’s made up – it’s hilarious.”

Posted: 26th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

New Fiat Advert Is A Spit Roast For Our Sexy Minds

THE new Fiat will fuck with your mind, and blow it, too…

Spotter: Nerdcore

Posted: 21st, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Family Kill Themselves Inside French Woman Zoé Renault

MEET Zoé Renault, the woman who shares her name with a new car. Zoe has hired a lawyer to protect her name.

Says David Koubbi:

“You will easily understand that, having maturely reflected on the first name they wish to give their child, parents cannot tolerate seeing this first name made commonplace and used for … marketing.”

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Posted: 21st, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (2)

ROFL: How To Create A Mainstream Meme

WHAT makes one meme a hit and another a miss?

The Kanye West Meme Gallery (Updated)

Posted: 12th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

British Man Becomes World’s First Person Convicted For Sending A Tweet

NOT too much giggling in court please as Mr Paul Chambers, 26, is found guilty of sending a menacing electronic message via Twitter. When Robin Hood Airport was shut due to snow, Chambers fared the worst. He had arranged a date with woman he had met via Twitter. He was to jet to Northern Ireland to Tweet her in person.

Chambers, aka Crazy Colours, Tweeted:

Crap! Robin Hood Airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your s*** together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!”

Chambers says his Tweets were “innocuous hyperbole”.

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Posted: 10th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

In Pictures: Gumball Rally 3000 Hits New York: Faisal Shahzad Gutted

THE Gumball 3000 rally rolled into New York, having jetted into from Stockholm. We saw the carnival of wealth leave London (pictures). Then it reached Vermont, having driven around the world by, er, plane. Xzibit squeezed his eyes into a slat and gave the race two points. Jodie Kidd showed that you don’t have to very rich to have brilliant car, but it might help you fill it up. Julie and Maximillian Cooper looked the part. Jenny and Vincent Ferraiuolo got married at the end of the rally. And Faisal Shahzad wonders why he didn’t wait a few days and trade in his SUV for something with a bit more bang for your buck….


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Jodie Kidd is seen with her car that took part in the Gumball 3000 rally are seen at the finishing point in Time Square in New York.

Posted: 9th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

Fail: Volvo’s Collision Warning With Auto Brake Crashes Into Truck

TO the Volvo press coneference to marvel at the auto brake on the 2011 S60. The blurb trumpets:

“Volvo’s new Collision Warning with Auto Brake automatically brakes the car if there is an imminent risk of a collision with a moving or stationary vehicle. The system starts by alerting the driver and preparing the braking system for emergency braking. If the driver does not respond despite the warning, the brakes are automatically applied.”

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Posted: 9th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment (1)

Gumball Rally 2010 Arrives In Vermont: Pictures

THE GUMBALL 3000 Rally arrives in Vermont. Tony Hawk and Eve were dressed by real sheiks in Vermont, USA, as part of the race which is due to finish in New York on May 7. London to New York by car. And, er, by plane…

Gumball 3000 Rally In Pictures: A Carnival Of Wealth


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Tony Hawk (3rd left), and rapper Eve (centre), are joined by real sheiks in Vermont, USA, as part of the Gumball 3000 Rally 2010 which is due to finish in New York on May 7.

Posted: 7th, May 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

In Pictures: World’s First Robot Arm Heart Surgery

KENNETH Crocker, 70, from Burton on Trent, is the first patient to feature in a remote heart operation. The operation was carried out by surgeon Dr Andre Ng, consultant cardiologist at Glenfield Hospital and senior lecturer in cardiovascular sciences at the University of Leicester. He will be using a robot arm.

The system was used to correct a ‘short circuit’ in the heart of a patient that was beating too fast. Surgeons at Glenfield Hospital in Leicester identified a rogue piece of conducting tissue that was burned away with a wire probe. The procedure involves using an X-ray to steer a thin tube called a catheter through veins from the groin to the heart.
And how was your day?


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File photo dated 28/04/10 of Patient Kenneth Crocker, 70, from Burton on Trent, before the world's first remote heart operation carried out by surgeon Dr Andre Ng, consultant cardiologist at Glenfield Hospital and senior lecturer in cardiovascular sciences at the University of Leicester, using a robot arm.

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

What You Get When Surfing Porn In Dubai And The UAE

IF you are looking for porn, Facebook and lots of other stuff on the web in the UAE, including that fascist kingdom of sand and cement that is Dubai, you get to see this. Although, you can join HH Sheikh Mohammed on Twitter

Spotter: reader Cath. B.

Posted: 23rd, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

The New Samsung 3DTV Is The TV That Can

CAN 3D imropve TV? Can making everything look real make dire telly better more entertaining and informative? Will you dive left or right to save or dodge Wayne Rooney’s shot?

Will Phil Mitchell swing for you and miss? All entertainment can be improved upon with modern technology.

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Posted: 22nd, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment

How To Stop Wild Boars Killing German Drivers

FOLLOWING our gallery of animals taking on people – and winning – news reaches us that there are so many wild boars in Europe that worries are that drivers will crash into one.

German car club ADAC has conducted crash tests on boars. No, not real boars, but big plastic ones. Or, so they say…

In 2009, 27 people died and 3,000 were injured last year in collisions with deer, boars, rabbits and wildcats. The advice is:

“If a wild animal appears suddenly, apply the brakes as hard as possible, keep a tight grip on the steering wheel and stay in the lane. In the worst case scenario, a collision with the animal has to be accepted.”


Posted: 21st, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comments (7)

The Most Useless IPad App Ever: The Daily Express iDiana

THE iPad will revolutionise everything in the media. If it can fold up, cost a few pence and have an emergency toilet paper function, the iPad can replace newspapers. For now, it can enhance the Daily Express.

With the Express app. you cutting-edge tech kids can keep up with your favourite read.

You need never miss a story on Our Maddie, Princess Diana’s latest haircut or thieving gipsy scum begging for nuts and children in your lounge.

Spotter: Bitter Wallet

Posted: 16th, April 2010 | In: Technology | Comment