Anorak

Broadsheets | Anorak - Part 8

Broadsheets Category

Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers

Amy Winehouse: Computer Game And Countdown To Escape From Rehab

AMY Winehouse? Yes, she is alive. And d0ing what’s does best: making news.

DAILY MIRROR: “Sadie Frost worse for wear after evening with Amy Winehouse”

Arriving at Amy’s Camden pad at around midnight, the 43-year-old mother-of-four was all perky and smiley, holding hands with on-off toy-boy lover Kristian Marr.

What happened?

We can only begin to imagine what happened behind closed doors…

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


CPF Bans Pete Doherty’s Whirlpool Effect

MORE news from the Celebrity Police Force which has issued a statement that reads:

“The issue is not the act itself, it is the profile of fans that follow the act. Wiltshire police do not have an issue with Pete Doherty or Babyshambles.”

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: A New eFit, Selling Books And A Rapist’s Cover Story

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY MIRROR: “Madeleine McCann: Nanny’s new sketch echoes picture of kidnapper”

That’s the picture on the left. For wont of name, we’ll call him Cool.

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (386) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gwyn And Bare It: Paltrow Wears Fur

LACRYMOSE actress Gwyneth Paltrow is fronting the autumn collection of fur-lined boots and bags from the Italian company Tod’s.

PETA, Viva and (Noakes) why are animal rights groups named after Blue Peter presenters) are unhappy, as is their wont. Says the Independent:

The row is ironic, as Ms Paltrow enjoys a close friendship with the designer Stella McCartney. Following in the footsteps of her staunchly vegetarian mother, Linda, Ms McCartney refuses to use fur – in direct contrast to the views of her friend, who has in the past described it as being “feminine and very elegant”.

Ironic. Sure thing.

Stella prefers suede and silk to fur.

Silk is made like this…

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Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


101 Per Cent Of Us Are Happy With Gordon Brown

THERE’S a new poll in the Guardian. The result gives the paper the front-page headline: “Change of leader would not help Labour beat Cameron.”

The statistics never lie – not even when 101% of the population respond…

Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Person’s Republic Of Forvik

STUART Hill, 65, moved onto Forvik by the Shetlands– 2½ acres of rock and grass – last June.

He has been living in the Shetlands since 2001 after capsizing a yacht 50 miles northwest of Forvik during an attempt to sail around Britain, an incident that led to him being dubbed “Captain Calamity”.

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Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


We’re all Drowning In Falling Sea Levels

GLOBAL warming panic: rising sea levels:

People living on some stretches of coastline will be forced to abandon their homes and move inland as sea levels rise, the new head of the Environment Agency has warned –Daily Telegraph

THE 11,000 inhabitants of a tiny Pacific country that was predicted to vanish under water because of the effects of global warming have been given a reprieve because sea levels have begun to fall – Daily Telegraph

At least we can swim

Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Saving Heather Mills, Journalists’ Kidzzz And Sick Jokes

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE TIMES: “Sorry, no more babies. Eco-doctor’s orders…”

Says Judith O’Reilly: “On holiday you become a Hydra-headed ‘problem to be dealt with’”

Judith is talking about her kidzzz

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Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (527) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Olympic Balls: Michael Phelps Is A Greek God In Roman Times

MICHAEL Phelps has won seven gold medals… No eight… Now nine… And so on. Can you win too many gold medals?

In the Guardian Kate Rew is contemplating swimming with the Gods:

In the Olympics in Ancient Rome, the powerfully built swimmers (nude, like all the sportsmen, so the crowds could better appreciate the mastery of the human body) swam in the rolling currents of the Tiber.

Those ancient Greek Romans. Now they really good swim…

Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Olympic Balls: Plucky Paula Radcliffe Rolls Back The Years

THE Olympics – This is our year.

And amid the “GOLD RUSH” (Express, Independent), “OUR GREATEST OLYMPIC DAY” (People) is the news that plucky Paula Radcliffe, the country’s great marathon runner, DID cry when she lost and DID stop two miles from home, bravely finishing the race in scenes reminiscent of Reach For The Sky.

Just four years ago Radcliffe wowed Olympic crowds in Athens when she failed to complete the course, dropping out of the race she had no hope of winning.

Now to prove that was no fluke, the spirit-of-the-blitz and never-say-die Brit picked up her running spikes and…

Continues in all papers…

Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Russia And US Agree: Let’s All Nuke Poland

“WE’LL NUKE POLAND.”

Given the history of Poland, the Sun’s headline statement solicits the enjoiner: “No, WE’LL nuke Poland”… “No, we’ll nuke Poland”…”No WE will”, and so on…

(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or website)

The initial threat, says the Telegraph on its front page, was issued by a representative of Russia, a country that has yet to nuke anyone other than its own allies in the former Soviet Union.

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Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Homeowners Call Police On Window Salesman

AFTER a cold all approach, a window trader was demanding a deposit for the £31,000 he quoted to replace a couple’s windows.

The couple, who have two young children, repeatedly asked him to leave before calling the police and handing him the phone so that a police officer could tell him to go.

And did the coppers buy any windows?

Source

Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sydney Morning Herald Wants Us To Look at Ali Lohan’s Chest

PSST! Wanna ogle an underage girl and discuss her chest size? Then read the Sydney Morning Herald, the paper that cares:

Lindsay Lohan’s 14-year-old sister Ali has reportedly had a boob job. The teenager – who will release her second studio album later this year – was seen flaunting her new curves at a Jonas Brothers concert in New York last week, sparking rumours she had gone under the knife to enhance her cleavage.

Let’s have a heated debate…

Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Britain Gears Up For 2012 Drugs Olympics

WE’RE “OUT OF OUR HEADS,” screams the Sun.

“Drugs epidemic wrecking Britain.” For Sun readers that’s “broken Britain”, being wrecked, or mashed, as we know it to be. “DRUGS BRITAIN,” advertises the Indy.

The bombshell figures — which reveal 2million adults have taken drugs in the last month — will fuel calls for a crackdown on celebrity drug users like Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty.

Before Winehouse and Doherty appeared, drugs were an Americanism for pharmaceuticals. Says the Sun: “More than 400 under-16s were admitted last year, compared with 272 in 1997.”

In 1997, Anorak can reveal that the country’s top stars were, in order, Timmy Mallett, Steps and Ally McBeal. Innocent days, indeed.

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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Selling Books And Fact As Fiction

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

WHILE the tabloids splash news of Madeleine McCann – our Maddy/ Maddie – on their front pages, spinning the single thread story into a news sensation, the Guardian uses the missing child as a touchstone for arty matters.

Just recently Madeleine has been in Edinburgh for the performing arts festival, and not. Like last year.

Today John Morton muses: “Can fiction tell the truth?”

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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (566) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: The A-Team, Ruining Lives And Spinning The Single Thread

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY STAR: “SECRET A-TEAM IN HUNT FOR MADDIE”

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.

Desperate Kate and Gerry McCann have forked out £500,000 on an “A-Team” of former top spooks to find missing daughter Madeleine.

Can the plan come together?

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Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (527) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Belgian Paedos, Foreign Nannies And Joke Shops Jokes

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

GLASGOW DAILY RECORD: “She’s Not Maddie.. She’s My Daughter”

If the Hollies sang Madeleine…

The father of a blonde girl captured on CCTV in Brussels on August 4 came forward to reveal that the youngster was his daughter.

The blonde ice-cream-eating girl with the North African woman?

Belgian federal prosecutor’s office spokeswoman Lieve Pellens says: “Obviously for him, it was very easy recognising the girl accompanied by a woman in a veil. It’s her nanny, a young Moroccan woman who is qualified to look after children and works in a care centre.”

But there are paedos in Belgium right?

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Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (108) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paul McCarthy’s Art Is Complex Shit On The Runs

ANORAK’S Vomit In Sock is an early contender for the Turner Prize. But there is competition:

20 hectares of playground for the garden show: the farmland to the rear of the three steel hills and the entire tract of greenery from the Wyssloch Valley down to Lake Egelsee will be sprouting weird and wonderful objects to form an animated kind of front garden.

Paul McCarthy will be subverting the otherwise harmonious landscape sculpture of the Zentrum Paul Klee with his installation Complex Shit – a giant pile of dog faeces.

Oh, complex shit. Not complete shit. Silly us.

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Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Olympic Balls: Football In Beijing

OLYMPIC Balls – Anorak’s look at football at the Olympics

It was a swimming race like no other the Olympics has seen, the aquatic equivalent of Manchester United defeating Bayern Munich in 1999, or Padraig Harrington coming from nowhere to win the US PGA… But it wasn’t Phelps who did it. Rather, the Ole Gunnar Solskjaer of the American party was… – Jim White, Daily Telegraph

Continues for the duration of the Olympic Games…

Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Bet On Maddie, Belgium Or Bust And More Jokes

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE SUN: “I’d bet all that I own it was her”

THE bank security guard who saw a child like Madeleine McCann insisted yesterday: “I would bet everything I own that it was her.”

The spotter in Brussels…. Is betting in the bank allowed? Is this a sign of the credit crunch? A bet’s a bet. How much you got?

The Belgian capital is tipped to rival Amsterdam as the sex capital of Europe.

Tipped by whom, the Sun’s man in the know?

“I sold an ice cream to ‘Maddie’”

It’s a claim to fame…

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Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (115) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


BBC Cover Obama In 472 Person Conference Call

GORDON Bown is on holiday dressed in a hair shirt and Comfi-Slax, promenading with his good lady wife for five minutes and fifteen seconds of air of the most bracing sort. But the BBC won’t show you that. Because:

It was the mother of all conference calls. No fewer than 472 BBC staff were hanging on the telephone 10 days ago to discuss its coverage of the upcoming US party conventions. Yet more ammunition for those who say the BBC has lavished too much attention on the US elections already.

So many staff sharing one phone call is shaming. Guido Fawkes pulls on his Daily Mail hat and says this occurs: “Because there is no serious budget control, no profit motive and unlimited access to funds courtesy of a feudal taxation system to the benefit of the broadcasting barons.”

Or it might be because there are budget controls and 472 staff on one call is cheaper than enabling them to meet in a venue, the staff are cheap and, yes, the BBC is a junket…

Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Bank On Brussels, Dossier Facts And Metodo 3 Investigate

MADDIE WATCH Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “MADELEINE: “’I heard her beg to go home’”

CCTV images of the blonde blue-eyed youngster, seen just seven days ago at a Brussels bank, are now being studied. Last night Belgian police said the case had been given top priority and was being passed to a magistrate who would launch a full inquiry.

That’s right – the Express has reverted to calling the missing child Madeleine. It flirted with Maddie, but Madeleine it is, and ever will be…

The little girl, who looked “much like” Madeleine, was spotted by a security guard at the Havenlaan branch of the KBC Bank in the district of Molenbeek St Jean.

It’s Madeleine. It has to be:

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Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (116) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Credit Crunch: Halifax Makes Positive Move

CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news:

“Crooning banker Howard Brown has been axed from the Halifax ads because he is too cheery for the credit crunch” Daily Telegraph

Goodbye Howard, You came. You sang badly in an effort to get people to get into debt. You went, perhaps, to get a new job dancing and singing as people have their homes repossessed…

Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: With Columnists Carole Malone And Barbara Ellen

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE COLUMNISTS

CAROLE MALONE (NOTW)

It’s the Big Brother reject and toothsome talker:

“The truth won’t mend the pain”

I SOMETIMES wonder if The Truth is all it’s cracked up to be. I wonder if there are times when NOT knowing is better than knowing.

Well, as Donald Rumsfeld once said, from whom Malone seems to be quoting…

Because now we think we know Madeleine McCann didn’t die, as police suspected, in her holiday apartment. Neither was she taken by an opportunist killer. Nor did she wander off into the sea.

Sure of that? Yeah, Sure of it. Positive. Sure of it? Facts are facts. Right? Facts…

However, what we now think may have happened is worse than all of those scenarios because it looks certain this angel-faced little girl was snatched to order by a vile paedophile ring and delivered to people who hunt down pretty children to degrade. Maybe even kill.

And we know this because..? Well, someone said something…it got in an email to someone else…Carole read it or heard it and it became news… and fact…and we read about it… and we told someone… and they told Carole…who knows all about it…

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Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (258) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: They Call Me Maddie, In Venezuela And African Bingo

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE SUNDAY EXPRESS (front page): “IS THIS WHO TOOK MADDIE?”

A change in the quotidian Express story. No longer is Madeleine, “MADELEINE”. Madeleine McCann is now “MADDIE”. It’s the name the media, mostly, have dubbed her.

Maddie is what the missing child has taken to calling herself when she visits party shops in Amsterdam

So who took her. The Express has a photfit.

NEWS OF THE WORLD (front page): “I spotted Maddie’s tell-tale eye”

This is the least savoury headline Anorak has read on the matter for some time…

“I WAS AFRAID TO GRAB HER – Witness was sure restaurant girl was Maddie but feared causing a scene”

A VITAL new witness in the hunt for Madeleine McCann has told cops: “I saw Maddie. I know it was her—I saw the unique blemish in her eye.”

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Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (39) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0