Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers
Madonna is on the cover of New York magazine. The accompanying article says Madonna has the “ultimate face”.
The ultimate face for what is not said.
But a clue comes via the Telegraph, which quotes Writer Jonathan Van Meter:
“Looking at Madonna, I kept thinking of the British expression for reconditioning a saddle: having it ‘restuffed’.”
And reporters are divided: are the McCanns outraged or furious?
Disgrace in Holland:
The couple’s spokesman Clarence Mitchell said: “If it was Madeleine, it was a disgrace that it was not passed on. We need to know what happened with this.
THE SUN (front page) “MADDIE’S BED”
“First photo of room…”
But we’ve seen the room before, last November.
“…hours after abduction”.
Pages 4-5: “TERROR FROZEN IN PICS”
Terror turns out to look like an empty bedroom.
Know that “by grim coincidence” “Maddies’s passport “expired yesterday”
Such are the facts.
SAYS Michael Gove, the Conservative’s education spokesman, and Times hack:
“Titles such as Nuts and Zoo paint a picture of women as permanently, lasciviously, uncomplicatedly available.
“The images they use and project reinforce a very narrow conception of beauty and a shallow approach towards women. They celebrate thrill-seeking and instant gratification without ever allowing any thought of responsibility towards others, or commitment, to intrude.”
Nuts and Zoo, the Argos jewellery section of the magazine shop.
Here’s a thought, Mr Gove: boys who buy Nuts and Zoo do so because they can’t reach the topshelf magazines.
Mr Gove’s thoughts are published in the Guardian. (The words hereunder are scored through because of the comments below, and a note to Anorak from Simon Waldman, Director of Digital Strategy and Development, Guardian Media Group):
In March 2008 Emap plc was acquired by Eden Bidco Ltd, a joint venture between Apax and Guardian Media Group plc.
Emap publishes Zoo. The Guardian is run by The Scott Trust – “As the sole shareholder in Guardian Media Group the Scott Trust measures the return on its investment in terms broader than pure financial performance.”
The Scott Trust values are:
- cleanness (now interpreted as integrity)
- a sense of duty to the reader and the community
We put these principles into action and fulfil our responsibilities primarily through our day-to-day business conduct and the editorial content of our newspapers, websites and other media.
Cleanness – all the girls on Zoo are scrubbed ready for your inspection.
Michael Gove writes for The Times, owned by New Corp, publishers of How to Make Love Like a Porn Star (Jenna Jameson), The Sun (Page 3 Girls) and the News of The World, which contains adverts for readers to call dirty college girls live.
Anorak feels dirty just writing about it…
“The BBFC should realise there are scenes of gratuitous violence in The Dark Knight to which I certainly would not take my 11-year-old daughter. It should be a 15 certificate.”
Oh, the embarrassment of being the younger Vaz, daughter to the oleaginous chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee. Oh, to presume that your 11-year-old daughter would want to go to the cinema with her dad, a man once censored for a “serious breaches of the Code of Conduct and a contempt of the House”.
But Vaz is not alone.
THE GUARDIAN: “: Has the Fringe lost its sense of fun?”
“With shows about the Holocaust, military abuse and repressive societies, theatre in Edinburgh is trying to be more serious than ever. Is that a good thing?”
Mark Fisher is that big performing artzzzz show. He sees entertainment in suffering. He sees Madeleine McCann:
Ashok Sinha writes:
There’s a little village in Kent called Kingsnorth, population 7,000. You probably haven’t heard of it. It’s got a doctor’s surgery, a pub, two primary schools and a part-time post office.
Ah, bucolic Kingsnorth, scene of rural splendour. And if Sinha turns around he might just see ye olde coal-powered power station sticking over the golden fields.
THE AGE is hot on climate change:
If society is to confront climate change, it must change its behaviour and the way it conducts business.
The Age is very hot on the business of climate change:
The Age is rewarding a handful of its best Victorian Real Estate Agent clients with a special bonus: a trip to South America.
Last one to Cannes is a loser…
Anorak wonders if Sean Connery is a member of CAOSH, or, as is more likely, fighting it in his guise as James Bond?
Emma Thompson, the actress, is not a member of CAOSH. Says she in the Sunday Times:
There is no greater partnership, when on a rock, than that of egg and crisp. Textural reasons present themselves immediately – even, perhaps, to those who have never sampled the above. The softness of the egg marries beautifully with the edges of the crisp – of course it does. That much is obvious. But one can extrapolate the pleasures still further.
THE GUARDIAN: “On the front line in the search for Maddie – Gonçalo Amaral’s intriguing memoir of the Madeleine McCann case offers no solution but reveals a man obsessed by the investigation”
Ned Temko is reading Amaral’s book:
It is a shame that this revealing memoir from Gonçalo Amaral, the police chief who ran the Madeleine McCann investigation until he was unceremoniously fired last year, has not been published in English…
Indeed it is. And a disappointment that no British paper has sought to serialise the work. Aren’t we interested in what the copper thinks? Or are we too scared to publish it? What of free speech, then?
Wouldn’t any reader of sound mind dismiss slights against the McCanns’ involvement?
Within minutes of its appearance in Portuguese bookshops, the McCanns’ spokesman let it be known their lawyers would be giving it a thorough read, with an eye to the kind of libel action that ended up costing the Express group £500,000 earlier this year. And that was before the Portuguese authorities finally cleared the couple last month of any suspicion.
We’ve been scared off. But:
Surely it won’t be long before enterprising translators feed the juicier bits to an online conspiracy community that, in the 15 months since the cherubic three-year-old went missing from Praia da Luz, has elevated Madeleine into something close to a new Elvis.
DO you hear bells?
Cathedral officials have denied accusations of financial mismanagement after admitting that a £103,000 bequest to pay for new bells had lost two thirds of its value in the credit crunch.
The legacy, consisting of shares thought to be in a high street bank, has lost £67,950 in value in the 18 months since it was made.
Innocent Smoothies tells consumers on its website that “fruit always travels by boat or rail” because these methods use less fossil fuel than air or road transport per kilo of fruit. Customers are also told the drinks are produced in the UK.
However, the Daily Telegraph can reveal that the drinks are blended on the continent before being driven in dozens of tanker lorries hundreds of miles across Europe for bottling in the UK.
To mix the contents just so…
BARRY George, the oddball, has been cleared of murdering BBC presenter Jill Dando. The papers react:
DAILY EXPRESS: “£1M PAYOUT FOR MAN CLEARED OF KILLING JILL DANDO”
The 48-year-old convicted sex offender spent eight years behind bars and is likely to receive at least £500,000 compensation, plus a similar amount from a media bidding war for his story.
BBC: It’s £250,000.
DAILY MIRROR: Barry George in bid for £1million compensation after being cleared of Jill Dando’s murder
The money’s better in the Mirror:
George, 48, a loner with mental problems whose conviction for shooting dead Crimewatch presenter Jill was based on unreliable forensic evidence, was yesterday found not guilty after an Old Bailey retrial.
GLASGOW DAILY RECORD: “So Who Did Kill Jill?”
This from the Mirror in Scotland:
THE time to act on climate change is now, says an editorial in Australia’s The Age:
If society is to confront climate change, it must change its behaviour and the way it conducts business. It has to adapt. If there is one thing that humankind has shown, it is its ability to do just that, which is why investment in research and development is so vital. Never has the importance of human ingenuity and invention been more relevant. This is where political parties enter the room and, hopefully, their leaders switch on the lights.
Spotter: Tim Blair
DAVID Cameron says teach the kids to drink at home. Says Melisaa Kite:
If the answer to alcoholism really is to teach children how to drink, then why don’t the Tories propose giving away free Dubonnet and soda in schools during break time, or perhaps little bottles of vodka and red bull at lunch.
David Miliband is for Change, just like Barack Obama. You don’t suppose…
“Labour facing civil war”, according to the Daily Mail.
“Brown furious over Miliband treachery”, says the Daily Express. “Gordon Brown was ‘incandescent’ with rage over a challenge to his authority…” Voice call the foreign secretary “condescending”, “patronising” and “crappy”.
“Brains versus Brown” says the Sun.
The Telegraph’s Ivan Lewis says “timidity and incremental change will not deal with the way people feel right now”.
Vorderman, who is reported to earn in the region of £900,000 a year from the show, announced she was leaving on Friday.
Vorderman’s agent said on Saturday that the star felt forced to step down from the show when she was told to take a 90% pay cut from a salary understood to be in the region of £1m.
NICOLE MARTIN (Telegraph)
HOW wonderful it is to be well read, to show knowledge by way to quotes and “Yes, I read that”. Says the Telegraph’s literary elephant Rowan Pelling:
Last year, Tesco sold £107.2 million of books. We may think of it as a grocer, but in reality it’s a behemoth, carrying the nation on its vast back like the turtles in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.
That’s the cover of the book he notes on the left, the one with the elephants.
You Anorak’s don’t need to read it…
HEIDI BLAKE (Guardian)
So, farewell then, Carol Vorderman. Following 26 years of co-hosting Channel 4’s flagship gameshow, the woman recently dubbed “Mrs Countdown” is set to take her final bow after reportedly being given 48 hours to accept a 90% cut to her £1.2m pay packet or resign
ZOE WILLIAMS (Guardian)
But to return to that 90% – as any true maths fan would – that was a cut from 800 grand, so it would have left her with £80k.
LEIGH HOLMWOOD (Guardian)
Previous reports put her salary between £900,000 and £1m a year.
THE summer is here, and with comes the seasonal tales of shark stories. But Anorak detects a sinister twist:
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Damien Hirst auction expected to fetch £65 million – An auction of new works by Damien Hirst – including a pickled zebra, a unicorn and a calf with 18-carat gold hooves – is expected to fetch over £65 million…”
Hirst will also present a pickled tiger shark (£4 million – £6 million), zebra (£2 million – £3 million) and ‘unicorn’ (£2 million – £3 million) – the latter is a foal with a resin horn. All are new works created this year.
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Rare marble shark stolen from shed aquarium”
THE HERALD: “Do you want to see every parent in the dock?”
It’s Colette Douglas Home, professional Maddie opinion giver. And to answer her question: yes. Fingerprint them, photograph them and question them for 42 days. Only the guilty have anything to fear.
You’ve got to admit, they shouldn’t have left the children unattended and gone out to dinner.” It was a colleague talking to me about Kate and Gerry McCann. He went on: “We go on holiday with a big group of friends but we’d never do that. We put the wee ones to bed and eat downstairs.”
“And do you check on them every half hour?”
“Yes. Well, we send the teenagers to do the checking.”
In January, Bush will be history, leaving liberals all alone in a frightening world. Little else will change. Radical Islam will still authorise murder without limit, Iran will still want the bomb and the autocracies of China and Russia will still be growing in wealth and confidence. All those who argued that the ‘root cause’ of the Bush administration lay behind the terror will find that the terror still flourishes when the root cause has retired.
BIODIESEL is safer for the environment:
Man blows up garage trying to make biodiesel – A man was airlifted to hospital after he blew up his garage attempting to make biodiesel – Daily Telegraph
Says Transport Secretary Alastair Darling:
“The government is keen to support the development of renewable, low carbon transport fuels and all the more so where these are produced in the UK, bringing benefits to the UK economy.”
Want to know how to make the stuff?
The paper’s Janice Turner explains:
We are at Good Housekeeping magazine’s celebrity accessories swap, held at the North London home of Kathy Lette, the punning Aussie author.
Also there are: Dannii Minogue, Fay Weldon, Ruby Wax, Lynda La Plante – Kathy Lette’s eclectic gang of gal pals.”
I ask Kathy Lette what she plans to swap and, snapping into character, she says: “My husband.” She’d like to trade the QC Geoffrey Robertson for Penny Smith’s bloke but actually she is donating a strange Moschino bag shaped like a milk carton.
I have been trying not to stare at his famous brush-forward, comb-over hairstyle, the one that was once compared to a sunken apricot soufflé and which has been described by the New York Times as ‘an elaborate structure best left to an architecture critic’. As we are talking about branding and image, the question seems to be begged. For the love of God, man, why?
Because other than bringing golf to Scotland, it’s the one challenge left in his life:
“People always comment on it but it’s not that bad and it is mine. I mean, I get killed on it. I had an article where someone said it was a hairpiece but you can see it isn’t. I use spray actually. I’ll comb it wet then spray it so it doesn’t get blown away by the wind. I’ve taken a lot of heat on the hair but, hey, it seems to work.”
Soon everyone will be doing it…