JAMES Franco and his Oz doll are on the Walk of Fame, reading books and being at large. Franco is the likeable weed dealer in Pineapple Expres, Sean Penn’s lover in Milk, himself playing others in Erased James Franco, ‘Franco’ in General Hospital, and in the stage show Masculinity and Me, reportedly, he peppered his monologues with footage of a urinating penis and a defecating anus.
In one photograph of James and his new pal, the near-catatonic Franco clutches Little Franco like his onetime Oscar co-host Anne Hathaway holds her Oscar. Tightly. Never letting go.
At last they’re having fun. An they’re not creepy, like Karl and his pocket love toy:
WALTZ of the Two Lips (Trombone Silliness) features the lips of Peter Ellefson, Professor at Indiana University. It is, is it not, putting the bone in trombone:
Spotter: Ann Althouse
SO. Farwell, Justin Bieber, You came late; your left earl; you fainted; and you told a paparazzi you’d “f****** beat the f*** out” him. The pap had told Bieber to “get back to America”. He’s Canadian. American might have brought the world, drones, hydrogenated fat and one kind of cheese but do not lay Biber at their door. Do your research.
Thankfully, Bieber’s minders prevented carnage by restraining the singer with a wet paper bag.
LAST week, Alvin Lee of Ten Years After died. He was just 68. On Lee’s website we read:
With great sadness we have to announce that Alvin unexpectedly passed away early this morning after unforseen complications following a routine surgical procedure. We have lost a wonderful much-loved father and companion, the world has lost a truly great and gifted musician. Jasmin, Evi and Suzanne.”
Lee left Ten Years After in 1973. He then recorded 14 solo albums.
Ten Years After were popular in their native UK, but it in 1969, when they wowed Woodstock, that things went big. That was Lee’s defining moment. Not every musician gets one.
Lester Bangs said Lee was a “…crude sonic Model T, who could not only reproduce Chuck Berry licks by the bushel, but play them at 78 rpm as well:
HOLLY Madison, former queue jumper to Hugh Hefner, has named her child Rainbow Aurora Rotella. The Rotella part can be explained by the daddy’s name being Pasquale Rotella. The Rainbow Aurora is competitive name. I see Beyonce’s Ivy Blue and I raise you an entire rainbow.
JUSTIN Bieber’s London shows are making news. Having turned up two hours late on the first night (children left in tears to catch trains home), the pop amoeba with great hair (it’s all about the hair) left the stage mid-song because he was “light of breath”. He then fainted backstage.
Bieber did as he must and took to Twitter: “Thanks for everyone pulling me thru tonight. Best fans in the world. Figuring out what happened. Thanks for the love.”
JUSTIN Bieber is a pull-ups wearing, brattish popstar. But when he rocked up late on stage at London’s 02 he became a cause of lifelong depression. Virginia Blackburn tells Express readers:
WELL thanks for nothing, Justin Bieber, must have been the thought going through thousands of preteen minds as thousands of pre-teen hearts broke quite in two, never to be rendered whole again.
IF we’re being honest with ourselves, actors seem a bit mental don’t they? They don’t work very often and they’re the most paranoid people on Earth. Their imaginations run wild and they end up acting oddly in public.
And so, to Russell Crowe who has posted a video on YouTube which he claims shows a UFO passing by his office window in Sydney.
JENNIFER Aniston’s womb has been occupying the font-page of the National Enquirer for years. The current issue tell us that Jen is “about to become a mom”. Jen is “telling friends she has abandoned her dream of conceiving twins… and now she wants to adopt”.
WHAT did they do with Celine Dion? When the singer of the theme song to stricken vessels, My Heart Will Go On (don’t scream “Mayday” and describe your pain – just play the song loud and help will surely come your way) arrived at V magazine, what were they thinking? Not sure what to make of Celine’s outfit, so we’ll hark back to what entertainment.com said of Celine’s Dion’s super-short dress sported at the Jamaica Jazz and Blues Festival: “Celine accidentally flashes her fans!” Which leads to the question: what are yours called?
FOR some time now, Justin Bieber has been an arsehole. He’s flipped the bird at photographers, implied that women deserved to be raped, vomited on-stage, been accused of being unfaithful to Selena Gomez, smoked, boozed, not given too frigs if his fans cut themselves and now, he’s turning up late for shows showing incredible contempt for his wickle fans.
Now he’s in his late teens, he’s all set to implode. We advise you get some popcorn in and watch the show.
JUSTIN Bieber kept fans waiting two hours before he appeared on the stage at London’s O2 Arena last night. He then cut his show half an hour short. There are stories of his young fans falling asleep, making full use of the commemorative pull-ups and being bit with Michael Jackson songs whilst they waited in their seats (cost: £56 ty £330 each). Bieber went on Twitter to explain: “It’s my prostate…” No:
“Since I have been here it hasn’t been easy with the press at times but I have loved it. So let me say this… Last night i was scheduled after 3 opening acts to go on stage at 935 not 830 but because of some technical issues I got on at 10:10. So… i was 40 min late to stage. there is no excuse for that and I apologize for anyone we upset. However it was great show (sic) and Im proud of that”
BRENDAN Fraser is contesting Afton Smith’s appeal for $900,000 a year in alimony and child support. The couple have three children. To prove that he can in no way afford that, Fraser produced documents detailing his outlays. TMZ got the list. He brings in $205,704.04 income each month plus $25,800.28 in interest.
THE Daily Mail is never slow to point out, in merciless detail, the physical and sartorial shortcomings of any celebrity, be they great or small.
“When Seventies television star Peter Wyngarde was spotted out shopping near his West London home last week it was clear his fashion sense had deserted him a long time ago” ran the caption to a picture of a well-preserved gentleman in his late seventies, dressed in fashionable casual clothes.
KIM Kardashian always struck Anorak as sexless and dull, a corporate committee idea of aspiration. To others, though, she’s an inspiration. She’s also pregnant:
ERIC Burdon used to be an Animals (but he’s alright now). The lead singer with the Animals – a man remembered as John Lennon’s “eggman” – explains why he got into music:
To pull chicks! Whenever we got together in the garage to play with doors open, the next thing there’d be a bunch of girls standing around..
I FIRST read Iceberg Slim’s autobiography Pimp when I was a teenager. The title, the women, the vice and the slang made it exotic, but the story was down and dirty. The women were often wild and fierce. By the end of the book, Slim was man ho’d lived and been chewed up by life. To me, this was no glorifying of the skin game.
AMERICAN Pimp is a film about a “person with no morals“. Well, so they say… Langauge is NSFW:
I boarded a jet plane this past Friday and traveled 16 hours through the night to Washington, D.C. I was back on a plane again on Monday morning flying the reverse 16 hours back home. I was in Washington with over 40,000 other protesters for the Forward on Climate Rally …
LILY Cole, the actress and model was talking to OK! about her eco-mission to the Amazon. She did it to highlight the plight of the rainforest. She also did to to find an inner and outer calm:
“Deep in the forest, my mobile phone doesn’t work. It feels great to disconnect. They should make an area of London where you can get no phone service, so people can just disconnect for a while!”
There is, Lily. Wapping. The stairwell at Metropolitan Wharf, between floors 3 and 4. See you there, Lily. Bring yoga mats.
IT occurred to us that Eurovison might be a rich tablet of talent, but it comes round only once a year. Time to look five forgotten European gems:
Armi Ja Danny – I Want To Love You Tender