Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
Says Thomas Goetz, brothel keeper and climate change activist:
“The recession has hit our industry hard. Obviously we hope that the discount will attract more people. “It’s good for business, it’s good for the environment – and it’s good for the girls.”
For starters, the punters arrive already knackered.
Ben and Catherine from Wales appear are now called “Frank and Mary from New York“. And they have a few words for you:
“We have made $1,080 alone with your MyDishBiz internet business opportunity.
“We are very happy with this program(corr). This is the best opportunity we’ve ever seen on line. Thanks again.”
He was 24.
He had been told by his Deutsche Bank employers on Friday to leave work early following ‘an inquiry into an IT matter’.
THE green shirts are coming:
The boys in green are coming as the Environment Agency sets up a squad to police companies generating excessive CO2 emissions …
Decked out in green jackets, the enforcers will be able to demand access to company property, view power meters, call up electricity and gas bills and examine carbon-trading records for an estimated 6,000 British businesses.
The coffee chain Coffee Republic has gone into administration, becoming the latest victim of the economic downturn.
Now look out for the end of Location, Location, Location on the telly and the return of comedy shows…
REASONS for Sarah Palin’s resignation as Governor of Alaska are many. Now Anorak brings news that Palin has put her career as the face of sexist advertising on hold to consider a sex change. Can Sarah Palin become America’s Kate Craig-Wood?
Miss Craig-Wood (more nominative determinism, folks) was born male, paying for a £50,000 sex change operation to become her current self.
Craig-Wood, 32, is the managing director of web server hosting firm, Memset.com, and is ranked one of Management Today’s 35 Women Under 35.
“It represents the new look of Pyongyang.”
“It will be a familiar part of our lives.”
“Great with live fish.”
Says full pint Kim Jong-il:
“Watching good quality beer coming out in an uninterrupted flow for a long while, he noted with great pleasure that it has now become possible to supply more fresh beer to people in all seasons.”
IN Madison, USA, there is a space outside the Whole Foods store reserved for anyone driving a hybrid car. This space is closer to the entrance than the ones for disabled drivers.
Given the threat posed by humanity, you will be unsurprised to know the parent and child parking is seventeen blocks away on the other side of an alligator infested river, raging forest fire and a climate camp.
Who knew that a sexed-up Bride of Christ as a priest would court controversy? Maybe next time the priest could be pictured throating a cone while taking the choirboys through their paces, there will be even more complaints. Fingers crossed.
Antonio Federici said their campaign was intended to portray the “forbidden Italian temptations” of the brand.
Listen out for people taking offence, it being the British hobby. And join a heated debate as to whether Nigaz should now be called N-word and any news on it broadcast after the 9pm wastershed.
Also Look out for brand enthusiasts burning the word in the lawns of leading black oil users…
BERNARD Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years in prison. Madoff is to be a musical.
Take him away, Prince Buster and Judge Dread:
The BBC says the coins were issued “accidentally”. Although if 20 pence can be worth £50 by leaving off a date then why not repeat the mistake with 1 penny pieces and so turn each little coin in £2.50?
Or, better yet, turn the might £2 coin into £500.
MORE news on Habitat’s interesting use of Twitter and its efforts to ensure the people of Iran that whatever their troubles they can still get their hands on and “arch” Pack of 3 tea towels to help mop up all that blood.
Now Habitat is blaming an “overenthusiastic intern” for using online interest in Iran protests to promote their goods on Twitter. What you might call a company spammer:
“The hashtags were uploaded without Habitat’s authorisation by an overenthusiastic intern who did not fully understand the ramifications of his actions.”
“Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled…”
(Click the ad.)
The woman, like the bun, appears to be made of plastic.
And it surely suggests that the beef might be hewn from all the best cuts.
And who does this ad appeal to, besides hacks looking for something to write about?
VIRIGN Atlantic’s 25th Birthday Celebration is so crayzee that Richard Branson has called upon Chris Biggins and the New of the World’s seance-voiced columnist Carole Malone to help him celebrate.
America does not deserve them.
Listen out for Malone swallowing her champagne in the First Class lounge as eh opines that Virgin is all about opening up flights to the lower classes.
IN a bid to save money, Old Mr Anorak has ordered his staff to pass through old magazines at his pulping/puppy mill and rip our all the coupons as his former SAVAK guards look on. Here are the Ten Best coupons:
THE Barack Obama Government is set to introduce a new test to see if you are overweight and a fit and proper person to run a nationalised Wall Street institution: The Laborghini Challenge. In this video, a man applies to be the new US director of RBS:
“We were completely fooled when it came to electricity and gas deliveries. Something that is going to cost us more than 1.5 billion kronor. I know that this will become a legal matter.”
SO inclusive is the new Germany that in those gold vending machines, they have placed something for everyone.
There are gold flakes for her. Gold buckles for him. And for the gypsies – oh, how they love the gypsies – they have gold the likes of which you have never seen:
The Mail goes on:
The former Royal Bank of Scotland chief has been living in a guarded villa on the Riviera because of public anger at his £703,000-a-year income.
TG-Gold-Super-Markt wants to place machines at 500 locations in Germany to cater for anyone desperate to buy gold at around 30 per cent higher than the spot market prices for the cheapest product.
BRITISH Airways has sent out a missive asking staff to work free for up to one month.
Staff can volunteer to work for one week and one month’s unpaid leave, or do unpaid work.
The tattoo bears the logo and URL MyMMOShop.com, a site selling World of Warcraft Gold goods.
Fantasy-driven teenage boys with priapic tendencies who can’t get a date will get a double whammy of World Of Warcraft and an eyeful of DD breasts.