EARLIER we reported that BP’s PR nightmare Tony Hayward had a yacht called Bob. The swanky boatwas cutting through the Isle of Wight’s watersin the JP Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race. ITV news reports that Hayward was in the vicinity of the yacht.
The Isle of Wight is in the English Channel – a ribbon of sea warmed by the, er, Gulf Stream. The warm water comes from the Gulf of Mexico via the North Atlantic Drift. Might it bring some oil?
“American environmental disasters for American people!” goes the cry. Says one Obama aide:
We will have American environmental disasters for American corporations, if it’s all the same with you and your tea, Mr Britisher Man. We want none of your imported disaters. If you want to export your toxic wave go to India, lke we did.
The British are not local. Local things for local people eh, Mr Waxman…
SIR Richard Branson did not launch Virgin to meet girls. It’s just perk of the job. We spotted Branson celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick by hoisting Dita Von Teese over his shoulder at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas. He seemed to enjoy it. Just as he’s enjoyed meeting and greeting: Natalie Imbruglia, Kate Moss, Kristen Davies, Katie Price, Maddy Ford, Nell McAndrew and Emma Bunton. Feel the love. Feel it…
Sir Richard Branson and Dita Von Teese pose for photographers at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas, USA to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick.
BP is being taken over by Barack Obama. Well, not all of it – just the bits that do good works and reflect well on…Obama:
White House officials on Sunday said they wanted BP to put “substantial” funds into an escrow account to cover claims by Gulf Coast businesses and residents affected by the spill.
President Barack Obama plans to bring up the idea at a White House meeting Wednesday with top BP executives, including Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg.
The call was echoed by congressional leaders and state officials. In a June 10 letter to BP released on Sunday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) and other Democrats asked BP to establish a $20 billion account, administered by an independent trustee, that would be used to pay the damages and clean-up costs associated with the spill. Florida Governor Charlie Crist and other officials in the Gulf Coast region joined the chorus.
It remained unclear how any such funds would be supervised, in particular who would oversee the compensation decisions. Administration officials on Sunday didn’t comment on the size of the escrow account they will seek, or on where money might come from. Nor did officials detail the legal status of the proposal.
Such a fund would provide a measure of security, proponents argue, for people concerned BP might file for bankruptcy protection or otherwise stop paying claims at some point in the future. It also has the potential to give the government or its designees control of distributing a significant pool of relief money.
Oh, thanks Barack Obama. Cheers for the cash you are redistrubuting. Not your cash – BP’s. And you will do a better job of getting value for money than a big company.
“I get harassed in the supermarket with my son just wearing sweatpants with my hair in a ponytail...I can’t help how I look…
“If being less good-looking means being happy and finding love and not being sexually harassed and having a job where no one bothers you and no one questions you because of your looks, then, definitely, I’d want that. I think of that every day.”
The New York Daily News says Debralee was on telly show about plastic surgery in New York. She was the ideal model, we’d wager. The natural dream. As she says:
THE BP oil spill in the US Gulf is now a Nigerian scam:
From: Dudley Caruthers Esq (Barrister at Law)
Subject: BP Related Agreement Entitlement
I am the private solicitor for Mr Tony Hayward, the esteemed Chairman and Chief executive of British Petroleum. My client has various personal and family related holdings of BP stock and options. Due to his faithful long standing service to BP the total value of his holdings amounts to in excess of 100m pounds sterling. Mr Heywood is a British citizen but it has been my sorrowful duty to advise him that his personal and family wealth is at great risk of being wrongfully confiscated by US authorities acting extra-territorially under special powers authorised by the US government and with the secret consent of a supine UK political and legal establishment.
BP is embroiled in an oil spill in the gulf. Natural oil is leaking into the natural seas. Barack Obama will not rest until the oil spill is capped. He most likely won’t shower, either. Can sea sponges and the French flag save the US Gulf? The oil industry, pretty much the safest, most regulated industry in the world, is in the mire. So big is the disaster that Ashton Kutcher is travelling at 7mpg to the scene in his thoughts and a massive car. Others are creating images:
DEBRAHLEE Lorenzana is suing Citibank. She says he was sacked for being “too hot”. Debrahalee Lorenzana – how’s that for a hot name? – is 33. She is a mother of one. The Village Voice tells us:,
Her bosses told her they couldn’t concentrate on their work because her appearance was too distracting. They ordered her to stop wearing turtlenecks. She was also forbidden to wear pencil skirts, three-inch heels, or fitted business suits.
Debrahlee is 5’5” tall and weighs 125 pounds”… She has “soft eyes” and “flawless bronze skin”. Debrahlee has “J.Lo curves”, a “Jessica Simpson rack” and “Audrey Hepburn elegance”.
She is the ultimate body double. Her lawsuit says that:
“as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly ‘too distracting’ for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear.”
Too hot ot not? Old Mr Anorak is waiting for his 10 0′clock…
BUSINESSMAN of the Day is Barber Ben Martin, 38, who has opened a hairdresser’s salon in a layby alongside the A6 near Luton. His barber’s in Caddington, Bedfordshire, closed a year ago. He struggled to find work. And then he had a “eureka moment” and opened a new shop in a trailer. Says he:
“I had to check it out with the highways authority and local council but there are no overheads. I drive my trailer there every day. I worked all hours at the start to work out what the best time to work was. Now I do 9.30am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday. Saturday was busy in my barber’s shop but of course on Saturday the roads are quiet.”
THE recession has done for James Bond and his Dr Who-style franchise. Our pal Cassetteboy has this exclusive video insight into just what went wrong. Bond always was a City boy with an expenses account. In for a Moneypenny, in for a…
AT 6 mins 30-ish in this tape, you can learn that it’s not only the hot countries in debt these days, yer Paraguary, yer Nigeria, yer Greeks and so on. It’s the cold ones too. Yer Icelands ans forth. Is global warming to blame for the national debt? Possibly…
EVER wondered what life is like working at Google? Software developer Tim Bray has a blog called My Life at Google. The temptation is to believe that Bray does not exist, a made up person to live the Google dream. But he is real.
And he is blogging on the Google web.
It’s easy to dismiss Google as a force for control. But they have done much that is terrific in organising the nebulous web. But like all big corporations they do homogenise what they touch – and they hire corporate types.
Bray is living on a Google campus in Mountain View. He’s in a Google Apartment. Google ville is twinned with Bournville:
The apartments are comfy but don’t have a lot of personality. Each has good WiFi, two bedrooms and two bathrooms; my flatmate was a taciturn Czech who worked on “data security”. Tim, curious: “What sort of data security work?” Heavy Czech accent: “Every sort of data security.” [Silence falls.]
GOOD news is that the national debt is no so large that no-one understands the number. And as a bonus it’s too big to fit onto a cheque. Gordon Brown is said to be “delighted” and says it is “testament to the Google generation”. In other money news, the TaxPayers’ Alliance’s (TPA) digital Debt Clock, which counts up the national debt, passed the Houses of Parliament in central London during the launch of a national tour. After driving around London, the clock, which is believed to be the largest LED clock in the world, will be touring around 10 other cities in the UK including Oxford, Bristol, Cardiff, Birmingham and Edinburgh.
HAVING cracked wigs, long tongues, sex tapes and KISS, Gene Simmons moves into the ultimate gig – flogging Life Assurance, becoming co-founder of both KISS and Cool Springs Life Equity Strategy? You can trust Gene. If you die, will wrap your loved ones in this hair and throw them a bone.
READER Bat E Bird tells us, through sources on the Vegas package tour-arama, that The Shady Lady’s first male hooker has retired. Markus has gone back to the adult film bizznizz, and been replaced in the stocks by a male prostitute called “Y. Not”.
“A new stud, Y. Not, was hired but his work has been suspended because of an electrical short in his bungalow. The first stud, Markus, made history in January when he became Nevada’s first licensed prostitute.”
His “bungalow” blew? Is he a robot as well?
He had about 10 customers. In fact, at least 10% of his customers were journalists at the New York Post:
One of those customers turned out to be an undercover reporter from the New York Post, who took pictures of Markus and wrote an unflattering, first-person account of her two hours with him.
It was grimly amusing to watch as TV interviewers tried to get some straight answers out of the UK government and the Tory opposition about what items of public spending would and could be cut to get the finances under control. George Osborne, shadow Chancellor, was pretty evasive, as I have come to expect. Well, for those who want to see some sort of shopping list of cuts, the Taxpayers’ Alliance has come up with a handy list of items deserving of termination.
To illustrate the fact that Chancellor Alistair Darling is “on a Budget winner”, the paper solicits the thoughts of “THE SINGLE MUM” on benefits, “THE PENSIONERS”, “THE UNEMPLOYED FAMILY” and “THE LOW EARNER”.
To even up the narrative the Mirror also hears from “THE AVERAGE EARNER”, who just so happens to be saving hard for a new home (Darling told of a Stamp Duty “holiday”) – and “THE SMALL BUSINESS” which can’t see how the Budget will “benefit”. But, then, there’s no word on how it can’t see how it might lose.
THE Telegraph have been fiddling with the lock on Pandora’s box again. AKA the Freedom of Information Act. Gordon has been given 35 days to come up with a reason for selling off the family jewels at a time when gold was at an all time low.
I bet you the explanation, if and when it comes, just in time for the election, doesn’t contain the word ‘prudent.