Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
DEBRAHLEE Lorenzana is suing Citibank. She says he was sacked for being “too hot”. Debrahalee Lorenzana – how’s that for a hot name? – is 33. She is a mother of one. The Village Voice tells us:,
Her bosses told her they couldn’t concentrate on their work because her appearance was too distracting. They ordered her to stop wearing turtlenecks. She was also forbidden to wear pencil skirts, three-inch heels, or fitted business suits.
Debrahlee is 5’5” tall and weighs 125 pounds”… She has “soft eyes” and “flawless bronze skin”. Debrahlee has “J.Lo curves”, a “Jessica Simpson rack” and “Audrey Hepburn elegance”.
She is the ultimate body double. Her lawsuit says that:
“as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly ‘too distracting’ for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear.”
Too hot ot not? Old Mr Anorak is waiting for his 10 0′clock…
BUSINESSMAN of the Day is Barber Ben Martin, 38, who has opened a hairdresser’s salon in a layby alongside the A6 near Luton. His barber’s in Caddington, Bedfordshire, closed a year ago. He struggled to find work. And then he had a “eureka moment” and opened a new shop in a trailer. Says he:
“I had to check it out with the highways authority and local council but there are no overheads. I drive my trailer there every day. I worked all hours at the start to work out what the best time to work was. Now I do 9.30am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday. Saturday was busy in my barber’s shop but of course on Saturday the roads are quiet.”
THE recession has done for James Bond and his Dr Who-style franchise. Our pal Cassetteboy has this exclusive video insight into just what went wrong. Bond always was a City boy with an expenses account. In for a Moneypenny, in for a…
AT 6 mins 30-ish in this tape, you can learn that it’s not only the hot countries in debt these days, yer Paraguary, yer Nigeria, yer Greeks and so on. It’s the cold ones too. Yer Icelands ans forth. Is global warming to blame for the national debt? Possibly…
OK, Gordon. Time for Plan A:
Wait in line…
EVER wondered what life is like working at Google? Software developer Tim Bray has a blog called My Life at Google. The temptation is to believe that Bray does not exist, a made up person to live the Google dream. But he is real.
And he is blogging on the Google web.
It’s easy to dismiss Google as a force for control. But they have done much that is terrific in organising the nebulous web. But like all big corporations they do homogenise what they touch – and they hire corporate types.
Bray is living on a Google campus in Mountain View. He’s in a Google Apartment. Google ville is twinned with Bournville:
The apartments are comfy but don’t have a lot of personality. Each has good WiFi, two bedrooms and two bathrooms; my flatmate was a taciturn Czech who worked on “data security”. Tim, curious: “What sort of data security work?” Heavy Czech accent: “Every sort of data security.” [Silence falls.]
GOOD news is that the national debt is no so large that no-one understands the number. And as a bonus it’s too big to fit onto a cheque. Gordon Brown is said to be “delighted” and says it is “testament to the Google generation”. In other money news, the TaxPayers’ Alliance’s (TPA) digital Debt Clock, which counts up the national debt, passed the Houses of Parliament in central London during the launch of a national tour. After driving around London, the clock, which is believed to be the largest LED clock in the world, will be touring around 10 other cities in the UK including Oxford, Bristol, Cardiff, Birmingham and Edinburgh.
HAVING cracked wigs, long tongues, sex tapes and KISS, Gene Simmons moves into the ultimate gig – flogging Life Assurance, becoming co-founder of both KISS and Cool Springs Life Equity Strategy? You can trust Gene. If you die, will wrap your loved ones in this hair and throw them a bone.
READER Bat E Bird tells us, through sources on the Vegas package tour-arama, that The Shady Lady’s first male hooker has retired. Markus has gone back to the adult film bizznizz, and been replaced in the stocks by a male prostitute called “Y. Not”.
Says Shady Lady owner Bobbi Davis in reports:
“A new stud, Y. Not, was hired but his work has been suspended because of an electrical short in his bungalow. The first stud, Markus, made history in January when he became Nevada’s first licensed prostitute.”
His “bungalow” blew? Is he a robot as well?
He had about 10 customers. In fact, at least 10% of his customers were journalists at the New York Post:
One of those customers turned out to be an undercover reporter from the New York Post, who took pictures of Markus and wrote an unflattering, first-person account of her two hours with him.
Spot the hooker.
It was grimly amusing to watch as TV interviewers tried to get some straight answers out of the UK government and the Tory opposition about what items of public spending would and could be cut to get the finances under control. George Osborne, shadow Chancellor, was pretty evasive, as I have come to expect. Well, for those who want to see some sort of shopping list of cuts, the Taxpayers’ Alliance has come up with a handy list of items deserving of termination.
Daily Mirror (front page): “SAFE PAIR OF EYEBROWS”
To illustrate the fact that Chancellor Alistair Darling is “on a Budget winner”, the paper solicits the thoughts of “THE SINGLE MUM” on benefits, “THE PENSIONERS”, “THE UNEMPLOYED FAMILY” and “THE LOW EARNER”.
To even up the narrative the Mirror also hears from “THE AVERAGE EARNER”, who just so happens to be saving hard for a new home (Darling told of a Stamp Duty “holiday”) – and “THE SMALL BUSINESS” which can’t see how the Budget will “benefit”. But, then, there’s no word on how it can’t see how it might lose.
This insight is given the headline:
Budget 2010: Are our six Mirror readers better off or not? Click here to find out…
Six? Ooer! Unless the mighty half dozen can get the word out that Darling is good, the Government really is shafted.
THE Telegraph have been fiddling with the lock on Pandora’s box again. AKA the Freedom of Information Act. Gordon has been given 35 days to come up with a reason for selling off the family jewels at a time when gold was at an all time low.
I bet you the explanation, if and when it comes, just in time for the election, doesn’t contain the word ‘prudent.