Anorak

Money | Anorak - Part 60

Money Category

Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay

Belgian Stock Market Faces Down World

BELGIUM. Chocolate. Chips. Fat detectives. Pluck. And thriving capital markets:

Web clip from the BBC stock marketwatch pages

Web clip from the BBC stock marketwatch pages

Spotter; Matt Buck

Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Ben & Jerry’s And Häagen-Dazs In Ice Cream Wars

ICE-CREAM maker Häagen-Dazs is feeling pinch. It is reducing the size of its cartons:

Over the past few years, the cost of all-natural ingredients, like fresh eggs, top-quality raspberries and Madagascar vanilla, has increased by an average of 25%. “The energy required to make and deliver our products has risen in cost as well, despite the recent dip in gasoline prices. “To offset increasing costs, we did not consider reducing the quality of our ingredients or the care we take in making your ice cream, sorbet, and frozen yogurt. We opted instead to slightly reduce some of our carton sizes.

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Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Bernie Madoff Offers Victims Apology And Opportunity

US financier Bernard Madoff has been jailed after pleading guilty to all 11 charges surrounding an estimated $50bn (£35bn) fraud.

The Wall Street Journal reports Madoff”s words:

“I am actually grateful for this opportunity to publicly comment about my crimes, for which I am deeply sorry and ashamed,” he told U.S. District Judge Denny Chin.

“As the years went by, I realized my risk, and this day would inevitably come,” he said in a steady voice. “I cannot adequately express how sorry I am for my crimes.”

Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Drug Dealer Joaquin Guzman Loera On Forbes Rich List

AT Number 71 in the Forbes Rich List is Joaquin Guzman Loera:

Loera is “Mexico’s most wanted man”. His nickname is “El Chapo” (Shorty). He heads the Sinaloa cartel, and once escaped from federal prison in 2001, reportedly through the laundry, wrapped up in a pair of ankle socks.

Where he is now, we can’t say, but given his size, he could be hiding where no-one will find him, such as in the Trophy Room at Manchester City, on stage with Phil Collins or fronting a prime-time chat show on BBC3.

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Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment


The Bullet-Proof Gentlemen’s Pocket Square Handkerchief

FOR the modern man about town: “The Damned is a Bullet-Proof* Gentlemen’s Pocket Square measuring 270 mm x 270, made from lemon Military Grade Ballistic Strength Aramid Fibre – to protect the hearts of men.”

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Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (3)


For Sale: The Ultimate Swedish House Of Mirrors

IN Sweden, you can buy this house. The Swedish hosue of mirrors. The inside is a reflection of the owner…

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Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment (1)


Israel Sells Arms To India With Bollywood Tribute

ISRAELI arms company Rafael is selling goods and services to the Indians. It’s marketing campaign is delivered in the form of a Bollywood video while dancing between missiles.

To the tune of Shakira’s Whenever, Wherever:

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Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Spot The Transexual: Which Vegetable Drink Model Is It?

IN Japan, Ayana Tsubaki, Yu, and Yuko Ogura are advertising a new vegetable drink.

One of them is not a girl.

You are fresh off ship and have ten-minutes shore leave. Which one?

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Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (4)


MEN Media Sacks Journalists, And Alan Rusbridger’s Pension

THE Press Gazette reports on job losses MEN Media – “publisher of the Manchester Evening News and related weeklies, has told staff that 150 jobs are to go and all weekly editorial offices will be closed.”

Staff on the newspapers, part of the Guardian Media Group, were told of the job cuts in a series of briefings with management this morning.

The number of jobs going in editorial is 78. According to the National Union of Journalists, half of the journalism job cuts will come from the MEN itself.

As a result, the MEN editorial team will shrink from 90 to about 50.

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Posted: 10th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Fake Rust Car Protection Kit

INTRODUCING the anti-theft car protectiosn kit:

These rust and scratch stickers are designed to make your beautiful bike/car look rusted and scratched so that passing thieves assume it’s not worth stealing due to its apparent shabbyness.

Note. This anti-theft device is not guaranteed to work in any way.

However I have stuck them to my shiney new red bike and can confirm it hasn’t been stolen yet. 13 days of not being stolen in London probably equates to 7 years of non-stealing in the friendly countryside.

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Posted: 10th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment (1)


Bottled English Channel Water Sold As Health Remedy

TO you, mon brave, £10 for a vial of Afrin PureSea Hydrating Nasal Rinse – “the only nasal rinse product made of 100 per cent purified seawater”.

Harvested from the waters between Ye Olde England and La Belle France, AFHNR – an onomatopoeic acronym rooted in the sounds made by the waters cascading from your face – will clear your tubes.

Bathers in Bournemouth will know the sensation well as unrefined AFHNR washes over you and in you like a foamy wave time after time after time. Or else lie back and squeeze your wet costume over your face, taking care to inhale.

Afrin PureSea Medium Stream provides a continuous stream of 100% purified sea water, whereas Afrin PureSea Gentle Mist and Ultra-Gentle Mist provide a lighter flow of sea water in the form of a mist.

For really blocked passages the Heavy Gale setting invokes an August Bank Holiday on beach in Torquay, and Light Drizzle any weekend in June.

But what else is AFHNR, marketed to Americans as the seaside experience in a mist? This Q and A from the company’s website:

Q: What is nasal irrigation?
A: Nasal irrigation — or nasal rinsing — is the holistic process of flushing the nasal cavity with a liquid solution. The solution, often salt water, is used to wash the nasal passages and cleanse them of impurities. Afrin PureSea is the only nasal rinse to use a specially formulated, ready-to-use, sterile solution of 100% purified sea water for maximum comfort. Afrin PureSea is clinically proven to gently and effectively cleanse nasal and sinus passages so you can breathe freely.

Interesting. Pure seawater. What else?

Q: What if the fluid doesn’t come out my other nostril when I rinse with Afrin® PureSea™?

You’ve swallowed it?

AFHNR might, of course, be the answer to someone’s prayers.

Posted: 8th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Viral Marketing THE PEPSI GRAVITATIONAL FIELD

THE PEPSI GRAVITATIONAL FIELD is viral marketing at its best.

Currently doing the rounds on aggregator sites is this wonderful and bizarre marketing document supposedly produced by the Arnell Group during their recent redesign of the Pepsi brand. Check out the SCIENCE that’s gone into this process:

pepsi1.png

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Posted: 8th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


How Amazon And Money Publishing Got Dated

These books, which I found on Amazon, are still for sale. A collage like this (but better) ought to be a museum piece somewhere. Or a funny poster. Or a magazine cover. Or all of the above.

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Posted: 6th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Citi Bank ATM Charges Double The Share Price

CITIGROUP shares have fallen below $1 a share – 97 cents.

In late 2006, a share in Citigroup was worth about $57.

Citigroup charges a $1.50 ATM Fee.

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Posted: 5th, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Costa Brava Twinned With Australia, Looks Like Skegness

THIS Costa Brava Pyrenees Tourism authority picture of the reagion’s beaches and seas was taken in Australia.

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Posted: 5th, March 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment


Kinder HMRC Taxman Sends Out German Stories To Help With Tax

GOOD news is that the CDs lost by the Government and its agencies in recent times may contain not data and facts but children’s stories read aloud in German, such as those stories featured on the HMRC’s latest mailshot.

Old Mr Anorak is encouraged to learn that the February edition of HMRC’s regular “Employer Bulletin” features not software designed to help small firms deal with their tax burden, rather 16 CD audio files with titles such as Zwei Ordentliche Kinder (Two Tidy Children), Der Flohzirkus (The Flea Circus) and Gespenster (Ghosts).

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Posted: 2nd, March 2009 | In: Money | Comment


The Average House In Green City Detroit Costs $7,500

THE Chicago Tribune reports that the average price for a home sold in the month of December 2008 in Detroit was $7,500.

Yeah, why buy one in the world’s first green city?

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Posted: 1st, March 2009 | In: Money | Comments (6)


Ryanair Considers Charging For Using The Onboard Toilet

RYANAIR is considering charging passengers for using the onboard toilet.

Chief executive Michael O’Leary says the airline is looking at maybe installing a “coin slot on the toilet door”.

Given that you can get a On Ryanair you can get a blowjob in business class (ask her how) the privy door might include a Victorian erotic peep hole for those waiting in line (£1 a minute).

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Posted: 27th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (7)


Pensioner Sir Fred Goodwin Blames RBS Fall On His Youthful Exuberance

SIR Fred Goodwin might take his pension. His full pension.

Sir Philip Hampton, chairman of Royal Bank of Scotland, says Sir Fred Goodwin is “still thinking” about whether to keep all of his pension, most of it, or some of it.

The Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) posted an annual loss of 24.14 billion UK pounds (US$34.4 billion) on Thursday – the largest loss in British corporate history.

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Posted: 26th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comments (7)


The 10 Best House Price Docklands Post Codes

THE Times features the 10 places where house prices are likely to fall the most:

The 10 places where house prices are likely to fall the most

Buy-to-let areas such as the Docklands, east London.

Prediction: Prices to fall another 18 per cent.

Landlords have been amongst the hardest hit by the credit crunch. A total of 4,000 buy-to-let homes were repossessed last year, compared to 2,000 the year before, according to the Council of Mortgage Lenders.

February 24, 2009

Got that?

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Posted: 24th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comments (2)


Credit Crunch Watch: Naomi Campbell, Pregnant Sex And The Specials

CREDIT Crunch watch: Naomi Campbell, pregnant sex and The Specials

Moscow Naomi

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is feeling the pinch after her fella’s fortune was slashed by the credit crunch.

Naomi, we learn, has “settled in Moscow” with tycoon Vladislav Doronin.

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Posted: 24th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment


The Brown-Obama Bail Out In Pictures

WANT to know how bailouts work but are too afraid to asks what the hell it’s about?

Joey de Villa has put together a photo editorial that illustrates how the big idea is manifest.

bailout_1

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Posted: 23rd, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Banking Crisis: The Irish Question

Ever since Cromwell and many others knocked it about a bit (quite murderously and a lot in reality) Ireland has been a bit of a thorny question for mainland Brits.

Now, it’s getting very serious. Where the IRA may have failed to kill, bomb, terrorise and generally drive out absentee British landowners, investors, soldiers and those loutish Brit tourists…the Euro may do just that.

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Posted: 20th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comments (10)


Fiddle Mr Bernie: Introducing The Bernie Madoff Doll

INTRODUCING the Bernie Madoff doll and piggy bank.

For an investment of just $99, you get the Madoff doll, and for no extra cost a red-suit, pitchfork and golden hammer.

“A lot of people have been asking about it,” says Graeme Warring of his firm’s Smash-Me Bernie.

Warring’s toy is good but not on the money. And Anorak duly issues its Madoff Doll.

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Posted: 17th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment


Bankers: Prosecute The Swine

WHEN will enough be enough? Ask your MP (substitute politician titles in the country you wish to seek justice) to join with others and demand prosecutions for the scheming beggars who ran our banks.

The buck should not stop at the last lard butt incumbents of the chief executive and directorship roles. The scythe of retribution should sweep across the doorsteps of bankers who started the rot such as the now very defensive Sir Peter Burt.

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Posted: 17th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comments (4)