Money | Anorak - Part 71

Money Category

Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay

Daily Express Immigration Fuel Protest

burning-daily-express.jpg“GREAT PETROL REVOLT BEGINS,” says the Express on its front page.

“WIN A CAMPER VAN + 4 BIKES,” trills the paper’s other front-page teaser.

Can these two headlines be related?

And what then of the paper’s other notice, that it costs 40p, which is still 10p cheaper then the Daily Mail?

Anorak has set fire to copy of each newspaper and can say that while the Express burns for longer it does so with a deep yellow flame with barely enough potency to toast an immigrant’s innersoles.

We even stuffed a few pages (the TV guide) into the petrol tank of an immigrants’ car and sped off on our bicycles, so combining the Express’ three stories into one call to action.

Imagine our surprise and dismay when the police arrived, not on bikes but in gas-guzzling cars.

That it should come to this…

Posted: 26th, May 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Tradefair: Punters Take Oil To Push Bear Equity Market

THERE are 42 US gallons (34.972 Imperial gallons or 158.987 litres) in a barrel of oil.

A barrel of oil now cost about $135. That’s more than twice what it cost a year ago.

US crude, the benchmark light, sweet crude contract, hit $135.09. In May 2007 the same contract cost $65. Someone is making big money.

The UK’s Brent crude set an intra-day high on Thursday, peaking at $135.14 a barrel.
Few of us beyond survivalist cults in the US and John Prescott will have stocked up on actual oil, filling our swimming pools, sinks and Tupperware with it to keep our Chinese takeaway hot and endure a nuclear winter.

But you can buy oil on the Tradefair spreads. The spread on Brent Crude is 130.59 to 130.64. Given the tracks record, a buy is the temptation. Oil prices have set new records in 10 of the last 14 trading sessions.

Buy or sell?

“You really cannot forecast how much further the market will rally now,” says Tatsuo Kageyama from Kanetsu Asset Management in Tokyo. “All I can say is the market will continue to rise.”

Commodity prices are impacting on the markets. Gold is trading at $913 an ounce. The Tradefair August gold spread is trading at 922.9 to 923.6. A ten point gain is not beyond the realm of possibility.

And all this commodity buying is lifting the equity markets. The FTSE 100 has gained just under 5 % over the past three months.

It is believed that a lot of the bad news on the credit crunch is already known, and that the worst is over.

Any rise in the FTSE has the appearance of a bear market rally, and punters should remain tight on indices…

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Has Britain’s Biggest Blog Network Gone Bust?

A RUMOUR – only that. But has Britain’s biggest blog network gone under?

Posted: 21st, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Backstreet Boys Boss Lou Pearlman Sentenced

IF you are going to commit fraud, at least make it a big fraud:

Boy band mogul Lou Pearlman, who launched the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync, was sentenced on Wednesday to 25 years in prison for swindling investors and major U.S. banks out of more than $300 million.

In an audacious two-decade-long scam, Pearlman enticed individuals and banks to invest millions of dollars in two companies that existed only on paper and won the confidence of investors with strong but fake financial statements created by a fictitious accounting firm, according to his plea agreement.


Posted: 21st, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Those Redesigned US Bank Notes

zero_dollar_bill.jpgTHE US government has been ordered to change the size or texture of its banknotes because it is difficult for blind people to tell the notes apart.

All dollar notes are the same size and texture.

“A large majority of other currency systems have accommodated the visually impaired, and the secretary does not explain why US currency should be any different,” Judge Judith Rogers wrote in the court’s opinion.

The move will serve not only the blind but tourists to New York who for years gave too much money in tips to waiters and the dread hotel doormen and so raised the service personnel’s level of expectation.

All staff in the New York now expect to be tipped lavishly. The new notes will put an end to this madness and after a brief recalibration things will return to normal, albeit with uniformly Mexican cabbies and Haitian bellboys.

As for the new notes, suggestions are for:

$1 – Steeped in blood

$2 – Press Thomas Jefferson’s flat cap and hear him say, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”

$5 – Fashioned into a giant hand that can be waved at sports meeting or used to greet other Americans

$10 – A scratch ‘n’ sniff note impregnated with the smell of mint

$20 – Pitted to reflect U.S. President Andrew Jackson’s complexion

$50 – The note is replaced by a whiskey miniature

$100 – Equipped with a plug and complementary Nintendo DS to reflect Benjamin Franklin’s work with electricity

God bless…

Posted: 21st, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

California Parking Lots For Middle Class Homeless

THERE are 12 parking lots in Santa Barbara, California, for homeless middle-class people.

The lots open at 7 p.m. and close at 7 a.m. and are run by New Beginnings Counseling Center, a homeless outreach organization.

Says Nancy Kapp, the New Beginnings parking lot coordinator: “The way the economy is going, it’s just amazing the people that are becoming homeless. It’s hit the middle class.”

On a brighter note, the cost of SUV starter homes is falling

Posted: 20th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Beat The Credit Crunch With Express News Papers And Television X

bra.jpgEXPRESS Newspapers’ “BEAT THE CREDIT CRUNCH” feature takes in Kitty, 19, from Basildon.

Posing topless, and so saving on clothes and not adding to the European bra mountain, Kitty says that she gets all her furniture from

That’s in the Star, which costs 5pence less than the Express, which boats that it costs 10p less than the Mail and remains “TEN TIMES BETTER”.

The Mail comes with a free Mills & Boon DVD, and though the Express cannot match that it does have Jasmine Birtles to off readers more tips on how to save money.

Jasmine is not topless, although she is pictured from the bust up so encouraging readers to believe she is otherwise naked and so cutting down on shoes, skirts and knickers.

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Posted: 20th, May 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

NHS Refuses To Treat Pensioner

THE NHS is the envy of the world, so we are told. And private patients are the envy of the NHS:

The National Health Service has refused to pay for an operation to prevent a pensioner’s agonising migraines because the woman paid privately for earlier treatment.

The Wonder of the World i

Posted: 18th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Virgin Mary Rock

“I expect to get a lot of money,” she said. “This is a rock. It’s not like it’s a piece of cheese.”


Posted: 17th, May 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comments (6) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Victoria Beckham Is Zero And Paris Hilton Is Given One

beckham-hilton.jpgPARIS Hilton and Victoria Beckham are in London.

The Mail sees Hilton setting up her stall on Oxford Street, on which she will sell her innate smell, Can-Can, a heady blend of used tissue, warm mattress and tinned crab.

Over in Harrods, Victoria Beckham is flogging denim. “I often look incredibly rough, actually,” says Posh on GMTV, a confession she may consider a revelation, and others a tagline for her fashion range.

The Star sees the two woman doing battle. Oxford Street is “mobbed”. The traffic is at a “standstill”. Paris is selling 150 bottle of perfume.

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Posted: 16th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money, Tabloids | Comments (18) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Mortgage Tips With The Express And Telegraph

money.jpgMONEY matters now with the aid of experts at the Telegraph and Express.


TELEGRAPH: “Mortgage shock as cost of fixed-rate deal soars.”

Such are the facts…

Posted: 16th, May 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Economy Overtakes Environment As Main Voter Concern



Posted: 16th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Man Jailed For Claiming Tax Credits For 36 Children

gordon_with_lots_of_children.jpgIRVIN Fraser, a father-of-two has been found guilty of fraudulently claiming £79,718  in benefits – tax credits – for 36 children.

He was jailed for 13 months at Aberdeen Sheriff Court.

Says Fraser: “I was claiming child tax credit for my son and just added another name by chance.
“They never asked for any documents. It went on for two years and I got away with it.

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Posted: 15th, May 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Brazilian Babes And The Ethanol Tariff

DO you want to get your oil from opiled up babes or oily men?

Posted: 15th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Dr Who Fans In Knitting Row

THE BBC makes money from Dr Who. The BBC is paid for by us. So where’s our money? And do we all own Dr Who?

A Doctor Who fan is embroiled in a row with the BBC after she published knitting patterns for the sci-fi drama’s monsters on the internet.

The patterns of Ood and Adipose were removed from her website after the BBC’s commercial arm complained that they breached its copyright.

But the woman said the corporation was “making an example of her”.

A BBC Worldwide spokesman said it was not “heavy-handed” with “genuine fans of the show”, but that it had to act in the interest of licence-fee payers.

“If you don’t protect your trademark, it’s taken away from you. And Doctor Who is massive for the BBC. It’s up to us to earn money from it so we can re-invest it in the BBC,” he said.

Don’t reinvest – redistribute…

Posted: 14th, May 2008 | In: Money, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

There’s A Hole In My Budget

ALISTAIR Darling has a hole in his Budget – music video:


Posted: 14th, May 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Daily Express: The Holistic Newspaper

40p.jpgAS ever the Daily Express presents a holistic approach to the day’s news, the actual stories and facts being less then the whole effect.

The masthead delivers the fact that the Express costs 40p, which may be showing off. Express readers may care to furl their newspaper in such a manner that the label shows uppermost, so giving readers of cheaper newspapers a glimpse of luxury.

But still the Express must concede that the Mail is 10p cheaper, making it reassuringly expensive. However, the Mail remains “ten times” worse than the Express, thus making it look all the more desirable to fashionable newspaper readers.

Good on the Express not to let petty rivalries stand in the way of true reporting.

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Posted: 13th, May 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Penthouse Goes To Church

WHILE Playboy tanks, Penthouse loosk up. The magazine’s spokeswoman Martha Lindeman says: “Traditional print is a heritage business for us, and an important part of the brand. But realistically it’s not a business that we see growing.”

Operating well under the media radar compared with other social-networking companies like Facebook and MySpace, Various, headquartered in Palo Alto, Calif., has a deceptively broad and profitable reach. Its subsidiaries now include a number of online dating sites—from to—that have signed up a combined 250 million members since they were founded and 1.2 million current subscribers who pay for content. Its biggest,—which bills itself as “the world’s largest adult sex and swingers site”—is one of the most highly trafficked Web sites in the world with more than 18 million members, the company says. Bell says in the coming months Penthouse Media Group will be renamed FriendFinder Networks, Inc., and he plans to take the company public by the end of the year. The Penthouse brand will be a well-known but admittedly smaller arm of the company. […]

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Posted: 12th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Madonna Gets In Bed With Ticket Touts

madonna-money.jpgIS Madonna’s hopping into bed with ticket touts an exercise in greed or research for Guy Ritchie’s next Mockney geyser flick?

The Wall Street Journal reports that Madonna’s upcoming concert tour is to feature an official ticket tout.

You know how it works: the touts buy up the tickets leaving the fans to scratch around for what they can get.

Dial the official ticket line and get tapped for a “booking fee” when you pay by one of those new fangled credit car, or buy online and on the point of sale find the site freezes like Anthea Turner at an orgy.

The deal means Madonna is tied up to StubHub, owned by eBay, via which ticket holders can “resell” (tout) tickets.

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Posted: 10th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comments (8) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Oil: US Drivers Go Slow, Venezuela Reserves Grow And SUV Market Falls

monster-truck.jpgTHE International Monetary Fund says “inflation concerns have resurfaced after years of quiescence”.

Why? Because food and energy is getting more expensive, that’s why.

Just look at the crude oil market shoot for the stars. The price of crude has reached a record of almost $124 a barrel – that’s a rise of 99 per cent in the past 12 months.

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Posted: 9th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Put Your Money In Violins

MONEY: “The Fine Violins Fund, which counts cellist Julian Lloyd Webber among its directors, has so far raised €16m (£12.5m) towards what it hopes will be a €60m syndicate investing in the most precious pre-19th-century violins, mainly from Italy.”

Why not just buy them all?

Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Indonesia’s Oil Problem

OIL is shooting up faster than Pete Doherty in a jet. But:

Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono said yesterday that Indonesia was considering quitting OPEC because it is no longer a net oil exporter….The country is Southeast Asia’s only OPEC member. But it has to import oil because of decades of declining investment in exploration and extraction because of corruption and a weak legal system that makes oil companies wary of doing business there”. Source

Meanwhile, “Oil set a new record high of $122 a barrel on Tuesday, the latest spurt in an advance that has seen prices double over the past 12 months“. Source

Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Why Dad’s Kill Their Own Children

bad-dad.jpg“WHAT’S driving so many dads to kill the own children?” asks Allison Pearson on the Mail’s front page.

Below Allison’s smiling face, in “WE’VE LESS TO SPEND THAN FOR 17 YEARS”, readers learn: “Devastating price rises mean families have less to spend on themselves than at any time for 17 years.”

What to do…? What to do..?

Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Hedging The Dollar On Crude Oil

US light sweet crude rose to a record of $120.36 a barrel in New York yesterday.

It then fell back (surely, swooned – Ed) to a record close of $119.97 – up $3.65.

Anyone who thinks it will end there can take the sell.

The rest of you worried about rising energy costs, rising fuels costs and why filling your lighter costs more than a pack of fags used to in 1950, can take the buy and try to earn enough to buy, well, oil.

You think oil is a stable market?

“Nigeria is the lingering hotspot the markets will be focusing on,” says MF Global analyst Ed Meir. Reports are that “rebels” have attacked oil wells and pipelines which lead export terminals.

Nigeria produces a lot of oil. If this oil cannot get to market, then there is less oil in the marketplace and those who have oil find that it is in greater demand and so worth more. Oil goes up in price.

And over in the exotic regions of Northern Iraq, the Turkish military is fighting the Kurdish insurgents.

Oil is a stable market? On the markets, 63.4 per cent of you are backing more rises.
But it’s not all about violence. There’s the US currency.

Says Damian Cox, of John Hall Associates, to the BBC: “Since about August, commodities appear to have been responding to movements in the currency markets. As the dollar has weakened, some people have moved into commodities.”

So oil is being used to hedge against the weak dollar. Which means that if the dollar begins to strengthen then oil will weaken. Right?

But if people see oil as strong they will be less likely to out their money in the US and so the dollar remains weak. Discuss.

At the time of writing, one pound equals $1.97229. That’s a little down from the 52-week high of $2.11610 but up on the 520-week low of $1.93340.

Most punters on Tradefair think the dollar will weaken against sterling.

British holidaymakers looking for alternatives to the costly euro may well agree…

Posted: 6th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Poker Toonie Scam

WHAT does a poker chip look like to you?

It’s not a trick question, and, no, there’s no GSCE in Chipology for answers of between 200-300 words. Discuss.

It’s just that the Poker Anorak has just spotted a 20-year-old Canadian visiting her local bank.

In her hand she holds a roll of chips.

We should note that in Canada there exists the two-dollar coin, the Twonie.

The name is a cunning blend of the number “two” with the name of the Loonie, Canada’s one-dollar coin.

We should not mock. In the UK, the two pound coin has yet to earn a nickname.

Suggestions on a postcard as to what it should be called.

Back to the woman in the bank. She hands the teller the coins and makes off with the equivalent in cash, about $100.

Clever stuff.

Only she then tries the same trick again in the same bank and is collared.

Who has not be so defrauded by chips or tokens? Is there any gambler who has not sifted through their fruit machine winnings and found a Kenyan Schilling, a washer or a homemade piece of metal?

We can recall those halcyon days of 50pence parking meters, which could – we are told, yer honour – be triggered by wrapping a bent matchstick around a 10pence piece.

The question is not so much one of honesty but if poker chips have any intrinsic value, other than the number the casino has ascribed them.

What is a chip worth, and can a chip ever be worth as much as money?


Posted: 6th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0