Posts Tagged ‘climate change’
Supermarket Parking Reserved For Hybrid Car Parking
IN Madison, USA, there is a space outside the Whole Foods store reserved for anyone driving a hybrid car. This space is closer to the entrance than the ones for disabled drivers.
Given the threat posed by humanity, you will be unsurprised to know the parent and child parking is seventeen blocks away on the other side of an alligator infested river, raging forest fire and a climate camp.
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Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Money | Comments (5)
Golfers Kill Michael Jackson’s Cats
GOLFERS for Michael Jackson are killing Ronaldo’s cats*. News just in:
Global warming is breeding cats:
The RSPCA claims climate change is producing a boom in the number of feral felines prowling streets in Melbourne’s leafy east.
Climate change could kill pets, according to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA), as warmer temperatures cause an increase in exotic diseases among cats and dogs.
* This news is brought to you by Anorak’s in-house web expert.
Michael Jackson’s Secret Last Recording Found
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Michael Jackson’s last record has been found or, rather, unearthed. pens a song about climate change and Heat It, just heat it.
Well, you can’t libel the dead, so on with the latest Jackson news:
Due to release a duet with Tupak Shakur, Michael Jackson – who was thinking about joining the Taliban! and whose last unfulfilled wish was to see the roof at Wimbledon Centre Court closed – also penned a song about climate change. As the Telegraph reports:
Michael Jackson was working on a song about climate change in the days before his death, his friend Deepak Chopra has disclosed.
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Posted: 28th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Secret Nuclear Power Plant Indentified In Germany
IN Germany, police has discovered a secret nuclear power plant. The area in the western town of Oelde is sealed off.
Residents are ordered to stay indoors.
Says policeman:
“It wasn’t a prank, they were just playing. The boys tried to go back later to carry on but the fire brigade wouldn’t let them through.”
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Posted: 24th, June 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Giant Kangaroos Not Wiped Out By Climate Change
CLIMATE change is not behind the demise of the Procoptodon goliah, the giant kanagroo.No, it turns out that it was the big roo’s enmies what done for it:
It stood tall at 6’5, weighed over 500lbs, had the face of a koala and the body of a sturdy kangaroo. And apparently it was delicious.
Scientists think they have discovered the reason behind the demise of the prehistoric Australian marsupial Procoptodon goliah – better known as the giant, short-snouted kangaroo. They say it was not climate change, as has always been assumed, but hungry Ice Age hunters.
That’s the thing with the media and bad science- climate change is always assumed…
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Posted: 24th, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)
Scientists Create Low Emissions Cows
COWS are attacking us. Farting, murderous Cows want to kill us all. Can science tame them and reduce their emissions?
Spate Of Cows Attacks Threatens Countryside
If they can’t rule the world, they will kill everything on it:
A prototype cow which burps less is being bred in a breakthrough that could reduce a big source of the greenhouse gases responsible for global warming.
The farm animals are responsible for nearly three-quarters of total methane emissions.
Most of the gas comes from bovine burps, which are 20 times more potent than carbon dioxide as a greenhouse gas.
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VV Brown Proves Manmade Climate Change Is Real
TO prove that manmade climate change is real, celebrities at a music festival – populated by people arriving by cars and camper vans, who live in plastic tents and cook on gas burners – will be painting their faces blue.
Says the Guardian:
Celebrities including Jarvis Cocker and VV Brown will be sporting a startling look at Glastonbury as part of Oxfam’s Here and Now climate change campaign
VV Brown:
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Posted: 21st, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
MIT Man’s Carpet Burnt By Global Warming
IN America, MIT physicist and global warming sceptic Richard Lindzen has experienced a globally warmed fire at his home:
In our recent house fire, an 18th century oriental rug was burnt, and we needed an appraisal of its value for our insurance. We were referred to a dealer, [name withheld], who agreed to do the appraisal.
He called a restorer. But Gaia cannot be repaired. Fire, brimstone and cherry burns on the heads and rugs of the heathen.
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Global Cooling Hits Crops
GLOBAL warming is so last season. It’s all global cooling now. Richard North takes a look:
Building on our pieces about global weather conditions and the harvest prospects, Booker launches into the issue today in his column.
The simple thesis is that accumulated evidence points to the beginnings of a global cooling trend which, inevitably, is having an impact on food production. But so besotted are out politicians with their myth of CO2-induced global warming that they have not noticed what is happening in the real world.
Booker also notes that it is more than 200 years since the great astronomer William Herschel observed a correlation between wheat prices and sunspots. When the latter were few in number, he noted, the climate turned colder and drier, crop yields fell and wheat prices rose. In the past two years, he tells us, sunspot activity has dropped to its lowest point for a century.
Right on cue comes another article on sunspot activity from Watts up with that, adding strength to the overall thesis, which tells us something serious and disturbing is happening.
It really cannot be stressed enough how close are the margins of global food production. With total world consumption of grains in 2009/10 forecast at 1,736 million tons, actual production is expected to reach only 1,721 million tons – and even that is an optimistic forecast which is being revised downwards as each month passes.
This means that the global community will, over the next year, be living off accumulated stocks, currently standing at 344 million tons, representing 17 percent of total production.
That is a healthy enough position for the moment, except that most experts believe that global production has peaked while consumption can only continue to increase. Even without the weather effect, it will not take very long at all for global stocks to erode but, if the harvest conditions are replicated next year and beyond – which looks increasingly likely – it will not be at all long before we are looking at real shortages.
Increasingly though, it is not only the politicians who are wrapped up in the global warming myth. Just as the so-called science begins to crack apart and the warmist religion looks less credible each day, The Daily Telegraph appoints as it environment editor Geoffrey Lean, a fading refugee from the bankrupt Independent on Sunday, to promote the discredited creed (this marking a further stage in the newspaper’s retreat from conservative values).
Grasping at the last gambit which the warmists hope will rescue their creed, Lean tries to make the case that promoting green issues is actually good for the economy, jobs, the universe and everything. He fails to note, of course, that Spain’s drive for renewable energy has cost 2.2 jobs for every job “green energy” created, and that much of the capacity is now off-line to avoid destablising the grid.
What Lean is actually doing though is pointing up the fact that greenery is now big business, something we have pointed out before, presenting the corporates with yet another opportunity for plundering the private purse. As The Times noted last March, “green” investment is making a lot of rich people even richer
Now wonder, as Lean points out, the chief executives of 100 top companies ranging from Dupont to Deutsche Bank have called for tough measures to cut emissions of carbon dioxide. And to drive the point home, we also learn that WWF (formerly the World Wildlife Fund) now enjoys an annual income exceeding $650 million. Green activism is seriously big business.
On the other hand, agriculture and food production are mature industries, fragmented and delivering poor margins, without the opportunities for government-sponsored “rip-offs” which characterise the green movement. Thus, the “smart money” is still in global warming because that is where the fortunes are to be made. That a very significant proportion of the world faces starvation is clearly a small price to pay for the greed and stupidity of the green lobby.
– EU Ref
Image: Cox & Forkum
Posted: 15th, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)
Mini Cows Save World From Global Warming
COWS are killing us all. Not at Burger King, where global warming is baloney. But now the future is upon is. Hail the mini cow:
They soon realized they had more field than cattle; one animal needed less than an acre for grazing. Because the minicows could be grass-fed, the Peevlers were spending half the amount on feed that they would have spent on regular-sized animals. The minicows also reached their mature weight faster, so they could be sold for meat sooner.
The Peevlers have built up their herd to 16. One steer provides enough beef to fill the couple’s freezer for a year. Carolyn Peevler also considers them “green” red meat: They cause less wear and tear on her pasture land and fences and, she said with a laugh, they emit less methane gas.
Looks like the pygmies were right…
Bring on the mini termites!
Australia Unveils Its Carbon Cops
THE climate cops are massing. Klimate Kops are grassing up mum and dad – literally. Und now zer Klimate Kapos are in Australia. Carbon Breather! Raus!
FRONTLINE police will be forced to become “carbon cops” under the Government’s blueprint to cut greenhouse emissions.
The Herald Sun can reveal Australian Federal Police agents will have to prosecute a new range of climate offences… Ms Wong’s office said AFP agents would be expected to enter premises and request paperwork to monitor firms’ emissions reductions.
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Posted: 12th, June 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment
Fight Climate Change With Human Methane Harvester
THE Personal Methane Collection System will save the planet and turn you into a source of ready and spontaneous heat and light.
Not only will you be green but so too will be your friends, fellow Al Goreans and anyone else standing downwind from you.
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Bad Science: NASA Says Sun Can Make Climate Hot
BAD Science is not always about securing a research grant or explaining to the Dean what you’ve been up to all year. Bad science is about licking a finger, sticking it in the air and noting that it gets dry when it’s not raining, and wet when it is.
A study from NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland looking at climate data over the past century has concluded that solar variation has made a significant impact on the Earth’s climate. The report concludes that evidence for climate changes based on solar radiation can be traced back as far as the Industrial Revolution.
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Marcus Brigstocke Is Beyond Parody
MARCUS Bigstocke is beyond parody. Tim Blair looks at the sit-down eco-comic bragging about his bicycle and his eco-pod before we get to see his solar-powered mobile home.
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Posted: 3rd, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
The World Ends On December 2 2016
THE World will end on December 2, 2016. We know this because Andrew Simms says so in the Guardian:
Ten months have passed since pointing out that we have, at best, 100 left before a new, far more dangerous phase of global warming begins…
Now, with at best 90 months left on our clock, we have a challenge that will be a bit like the first time a child jumps from the top diving board into the swimming pool.
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Posted: 1st, June 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)
Obama’s White Supremacists Say Vote Green
STEPHEN Chu, Obama’s energy secretary, has made it to the symposium on climate change at St James’s Palace.
Hosted by Prince Charles – who in the last year has made trips Brazil, Chile, Ecuador, the Galapagos Islands, Germany, Italy, Japan, Indonesia, France, Brunei and the US – the Green Shirts are huddled around a guttering flame behind three-inch thick walls:
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Laurie David’s Inconvenient Tennis Court
LEAD Al Gorean Laurie David – ex-wife of Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David and self-proclaimed “global warming activist” – would be expected to have a robust sense of humour. Laurie meet Larry. It turns out that she does and is an expert in irony:
SELF-proclaimed environmentalist Laurie David is once again paving over protected wetlands in Martha’s Vineyard to make improvements to her Chilmark estate.
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Posted: 30th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sex And Porn Speeds Up Global Warming
HAVING arrived availed themselves of the “occasional use of private aviation fuel”, Green Shirts at the World Business Summit Climate Conference in Copenhagen, are dimming the lights and, like all good armies, stimulating the local prostitution economy:
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Posted: 28th, May 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Climate Change Caterpillars Invade Rotterdam
CATERPILLARS have invaded Spui, Rotterdam.
The Ermine moth eats leaves on the trees for six weeks long. There are no leaves left in Spui. Then the larvae cover the trees in “cocoons of silk like giant spider webs and change into a white butterfly with black dots”.
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Posted: 27th, May 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Prince Charles Farts In His Duvet
IN London, the Telegraph’s Louise Gray, Environment Correspondent, watches Prince Charles and other climate watchers – hullo clouds, hullo sky – gather:
In a meeting in London hosted by the Prince of Wales, the world’s greatest minds will discuss the “urgency” of doing more to curb global warming.
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Termites Cause Global Warming
HOW many termites does it take to produce the same methne volume as one adult cow? Anorak took that to the reseach fund council and – dash! – found that the gig has already been taken:
The Australian Government’s effort to comprehensively account for all greenhouse gas emissions has now turned its attention to the tiniest of creatures – termites.
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Cate Blanchett Is Gaia’s Roving Ambassador
WHEN the film of Environmental Angel Trudi Styler is made, Cate Blanchette is a shoo-in for the lead role as the jet-setting Green Shirt.
To the World Business Summit on Climate Change, an event, “graced by actress Cate Blanchett and former US vice-president Al Gore”.
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Posted: 26th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Trudi Styler’s “Occasional Use Of Private Aviation Fuel”
MRS Sting, Trudi Styler, tells the Guardian that she is angered and saddened about stories on her “occasional use of private aviation fuel”:
Given the Guardian’s reputation for a positive stance on the environment, I was angered and saddened by the cheap and scathing tone of your “Lost in showbiz” article about me.
It sought to demolish my credibility as an environmental campaigner by laying charges of hypocrisy against my readily admitted occasional use of private aviation fuel as well as many (less reported) flights on scheduled commercial flights.
The piece is headlined:
It is not hypocritical to fly if I’m campaigning for the environment
And teaches us:
Each year I fly thousands of miles to campaign for environmental change. It would have been inconceivable to raise tens of millions of pounds for the Rainforest Foundation – which protects the forests and their indigenous people and of which I was a joint founder 21 years ago – on horseback. It would have been similarly impracticable to have served as a global Unicef ambassador on a bicycle.
Help Truly Trudi change the environment by taking her message to the beaches of Spain, Italy, Florida and Greece this summer…
Posted: 23rd, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Wind Turbines Torture Goats To Death
WIND Turbines will one day kill us all. In Taiwan, they are starting with the goats:
A large number of goats in Taiwan may have died of exhaustion because of noise from a wind farm.
A farmer on an outlying island told the BBC he had lost more than 400 animals after eight giant wind turbines were installed close to his grazing land.
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Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Antarctic Ice Reaches Amazon
GLOBAL warming will melt the ice, sea lels will rise drowning milions of acres of land us a soup of polar bear fur, slush and oh-so-fresh water. Or not:
WHILE a collapse of the West Antarctic ice sheet will have devastating impacts on global sea levels, a study has found the anticipated impact has been seriously overestimated. Using new measures of the ice sheet’s geometry, British and Dutch researchers predict its collapse would cause sea levels to rise by 3.2m, rather than previous estimates of five to seven metres.
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