Mof Gimmers | Anorak - Part 32

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

England to wear Nike instead of Umbro… and no-one should really care

ENGLAND, apart from a brief flirtation with Admiral, have worn Umbro kits since forever. However, that’s all about to change as the next England kit we’ll see will feature a … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment

Cristiano Ronaldo won’t celebrate because he’s sad

REMEMBER when Cristiano Ronaldo was at Manchester United and compared himself to a ‘slave’ because he wanted to go to Real Madrid, where he ended up anyway? That was fun … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment

Chris Brown to wisely avoid Rihanna (and Drake) at awards

AFTER the news about Chris Brown and Rihanna presenting an award together at the MTV VMAs trickled out, some people were rightly miffed. For a man to appear with the … (read more)

Posted: 31st, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

LeAnn Rimes checks into rehab for ‘anxiety’

CELEBRITIES love a bit of rehab don’t they? In our godless society, rehabs are the next best thing where famous folk can ostensibly show some kind of redemptive attitude for … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Geri Halliwell has a spiritual connection with Russell Brand… no, you stop laughing

THE phrase ‘the beast with two backs’ was surely invented for the sham-relationship that is apparently unfurling between Russell Brand and Geri Halliwell. Imagine them at it. Imagine them trying … (read more)

Posted: 29th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Chris Brown and Rihanna to wearily anger entire universe by presenting award together

RIHANNA recently spoke-up about All That Chris Brown business while on Oprah’s latest version of her show and basically, handled all the mopping up that surrounds it. Of course, everyone … (read more)

Posted: 29th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Is Lindsay Lohan about to go to prison for the millionth time?

OBVIOUSLY, it is that time of year again, when Lindsay Lohan narrowly avoids prison thanks to being a celebrity. First though, we have to go through the rigmarole of fretting … (read more)

Posted: 28th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katherine Jenkins wins Olympic media silver for David Beckham sex story

HEARD the one about Katherine Jenkins having an affair with David Beckham? No, neither had anyone else on Earth, ever. That was until Jenkins issued a statement on Twitter saying that … (read more)

Posted: 25th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

LL Cool J is being all big and brave after burglary

HARD is the life of a big tough rapper when something vaguely dangerous happens to you. All that bravado you showed suddenly dissipates and you have to present yourself as … (read more)

Posted: 24th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kim Kardashian had an orgy? And was ‘responsive’?

YOU may have seen Kim Kardashian’s famed sex-tape with Ray J (Whitney Houston’s last boyfriend and cousin of R&B singer, Brandy… phew… what a CV!) and thought that the wealthy … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Avril Lavigne is getting married to Nickelback’s singer, which isn’t weird

CANADA is not known for a terrific musical output (Neil Young and Joni Mitchell aside). They gave us The Crash Test Dummies, Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, Shania Twain, the awful … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Mel B to clutter up X Factor on a permanent basis?

ANYONE who watched the X Factor over the weekend will still invariably be a ball of irritated tension after seeing Mel B bray her way through her awful, awful judging … (read more)

Posted: 21st, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment

Michael Phelps to be stripped of gold medals?

NO-ONE has won more Olympic golds than Michael Phelps. He’s probably won more golds than most Olympic countries have won in their history. However, things are looking a little uncertain … (read more)

Posted: 21st, August 2012 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment

Rihanna ‘protective’ over Chris Brown

RIHANNA has been very, very quiet about the whole domestic battery thing that she had with Chris Brown. Not nearly as quiet as Chris Brown mind you, who thus far, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Madonna being sued for $10m for views on Pussy Riot

DESPITE the fact that this writer continually undermines Pussy Riot’s message by utterly fancying Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, the movement has attracted huge attention across the world as they rally against Russian premier … (read more)

Posted: 20th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Top Gun director falls to his death in thoroughly awful suicide

TOP GUN director Tony Scott, younger brother of Ridley, has committed suicide after falling to his death from a bridge in Los Angeles.

Scott’s death has sent Hollywood into instant grieving, with … (read more)

Posted: 20th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Megadeth: Nazi Obama is staging massacres, apparently

EVEN a passing metal fan could tell you that Dave Mustaine – the lead singer of Megadeth and original member of Metallica – is batshit mental. He’s got things misfiring … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Dog the Bounty Hunter denied glorious British TV appearance because of some poxy murder

BRITISH television has been denied the appearance of glorious be-mulleted thunderberk, Dog the Bounty Hunter because of a little ol’ murder. Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman was apparently all set for an … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment

Kim Kardashian divorce dragged out by Kris Humphries for absolutely no reason

IT really is a sorry state of affairs when your acrimonious split and divorce is a thousand times longer than your actual marriage. And that’s the sorry state that Kris … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Robert Pattinson gets ice-cream from Jon Stewart over K-Stew break-up

DESPITE being a man so outrageously dull to the point where death itself will probably overlook him, Robert Pattinson is feeling the first stirrings of feeling. After years of being … (read more)

Posted: 14th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Rihanna LP scores number one with paltry sales: The record industry is dead man, miss him, miss him…

THE record industry has long been in decline. Basically, people got sick of the mark-up on CDs and, more importantly, were thunderously tired of having to find places for their … (read more)

Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Do not adjust your brains: Van Damme talks about his affair with Kylie

SOMETIMES a headline alludes to something, only to avoid delivering. ‘CHERYL COLE’S ENJOYS THREE IN A BED PUSSYFEST’ could well be about a picture she’s tweeted of herself, in bed … (read more)

Posted: 13th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Spice Girls spotted rehearsing for Olympics closing ceremony (photos)

EVERYONE knows that The Spice Girls are playing the Olympic closing ceremony. It’s been a dreadfully kept secret. However, now we get to look at them hamming it up around … (read more)

Posted: 11th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Amy Winehouse’s ex-husband Blaaaaaaake on life support

NEWS has broken concerning Blake Fielder-Civil, the ex-husband of the late Amy Winehouse. It has been reported that he’s on a life support machine after suffering multiple organ failure following his … (read more)

Posted: 10th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Michael Jackson’s corpse and the case of the big fake will

WHEN any furiously wealthy person dies, there’s always a mad scramble through the ribcage of the cadaver in a bid to stake some kind of financial claim. It’s all incredibly … (read more)

Posted: 9th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment