Anorak

Key Posts | Anorak - Part 7

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A plea for mirrors and no more weed from Lee Scratch Perry

Lee Scratch Perry has politely requested his fans relent from giving him weed. He has plenty. If you must give anything, give mirrors. The fabled reggae star tweets:

Lee Scratch Perry

You know what’s coming don’t, you? Yep, mirrors being reclassified as a Class C drugs.

Posted: 15th, March 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Music, The Consumer | Comment


Madeleine McCann: Netflix show says actors kidnapped child

madeleine mccann netflix

There’s a  “Maddie shocker” on the Daily Star’s cover. The paper doesn’t tell you what it is until you reach page 13. That location’s a clue, isn’t it. It tells us that the story isn’t shocking and certainly doesn’t reveal what happened to Madeleine McCann back in May 2007.  But let’s take the bait and flick through…

The story is about that new Netflix drama into the child’s vanishing. It will, says the marketing and the tabloid, “contain explosive new claims”. They’d best be good. We’ve heard some pretty edgy stuff in the decade and more since a 4-year-old girl on holiday became ‘Our Maddie’.

The Mail also trails the show. It tells us: “Haunting last footage of Madeleine McCann boarding a plane to Portugal with her family days before her disappearance is unearthed in new Netflix documentary.” Haunting because..? No reasons are given. She didn’t go missing on the plane to The Algarve. She didn’t board the plan and then – poof!  – vanish. It’s not haunting to see the child on the plane’s steps. It’s ghoulish.  

On page 29, the Mail conducts an interactive study. “Is this Maddie playing in Portugal just days before she vanished.” Before. Not after. So let’s say ‘yes’, it is her. Because a four-years-old on holiday will do a lot of playing. The Mail says the image of a child seen from the back who might or might be Madeleine McCann is “haunting”. The Mail sees ghosts where the rest of us see a flesh and blood child, and a mystery most likely rooted in the criminal rather than the supernatural.

Indeed, as part of Netflix’s armchair detective show, we see a “dramatic reconstruction of Maddie’s abductors…running through the resort’s streets with a child in their arms.” These kidnappers are played by “actors”. This is no CCTV footage of this as an actual event. And for reasons uncertain, the “couple” seen carrying a child in plain view constitute one man (brown skinned; 30-ish; jeans and trainers) and one woman (white; 30-ish, headscarf). Why they’re portrayed like this is unsaid. But, you know, telly. And it’s hard to get Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman to patch up their differences, even if it is to help with an open case. Also, very few actors resemble this early suspect:

One artist’s impression of the suspect

The “fleeing couple” also look not a lot like these “suspects”:

belgium-suspect1

Picture 1 of 6

If The Dandy comic did abductions

But there has been a breakthrough. Over in the Sun we get the answer to the Mail’s question. “Maddie,” says the paper, “New pic playing on hols.” Not now. Way back then.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 15th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News, Tabloids | Comment


Uefa pause from flogging junk food, debt and gambling to investigate Neymar for swearing in private

Uefa supports booze, junk food, debt and big oil but says no to sweating in private

We like footballers to be on-message when they talk, to speak about knife crime (against), isotonic drinks and potato crisps – two of your five a day, kids! – (for) and betting (do it lots because watching football is only fun and truly matters if it includes gambling and the chance to lose your home). So when Neymar, the irritating Paris Saint-Germain forward, offered his opinion that the perennial French chokers had been robbed by an absurd refereeing decision to award Manchester United a penalty that proved decisive when the two sides met in the Champions League he should have known to speak carefully. He didn’t. Uefa is all for football promoting betting, booze and debt but very much against footballers calling bollocks on VAR in a private comment to people who follow them. Uefa have, as the Times puts it, “launched an investigation into his sweary rant at the match officials after last week’s defeat”.

You will recall that referee Damir Skomina awarded United an injury-time penalty when Diogo Dalot’s wayward shot hit Presnel Kimpembe’s elbow. Having hands and lower arms in the penalty area is now an offence. Marcus Rashford scored from the spot to give United a 3-1 win on the night and send them through on away goals. No-one who loves the game laments the loss of PSG, a fashion brand masquerading as a sporting entity. But Neymar was rightly cheesed off.

“This is a disgrace,” Neymar wrote to his followers on Instagram. “They put 4 people that know nothing about football in charge of looking at the replay for VAR. There is no penalty. How can it be a handball when it hits his back! Go f**k yourselves!”

In response, Uefa has detailed an – get this – “Ethics and Disciplinary Inspector” to investigate Neymar’s comments. If found guilty of being rude, Neymar, one the world’s best players, could be banned for three matches. Which makes you wonder what the ban would have been had he said what he really thought of the ***** VAR ***** ****s!

Now eat your junk food, make your bet and obey the rules. Uefa is watching.

Posted: 14th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment


Josh Stone plays North Korea

North Korea Josh Stone

Joss Stone has sang at a bar in North Korea, as part of her Total World Tour. Stone intends to perform in every one of the worlds country’s. She’s ticked off North Korea, Iraq and Syria without problem.

“It was a little scary crossing the border as of course we have absolutely no idea what might transpire,” said Stone to her Instagram followers. “We just have to trust the people on the ground that are advising us and looking after us”. 

In Mr Kim’s kingdom, Stone got to hang out with British ambassador to the country, Colin Crooks. “Amazing to meet @JossStone tonight in #Pyongyang and see her perform,” Mr Crooks wrote on Twitter. Given his usual entertainment diet of mime acts and the glorious leader on the telly boasting about the country’s 8th World Cup victory and moon landings, Stone’s show can only have been a huge relief. Crooks must have clapped loudly, and possibly whopped before sobbing about missing out on the Brazil job.

Posted: 14th, March 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment


Brexit: cats bark in the House of Fools

All tabloids bar the Daily Star lead with Brexit. The Star begins its take on world affairs with news that a thug has glassed “EastEnders Girl” Katie Jarvis. The actress plays Hayley Slater in the soap opera without end. We wish her well. But it’s another soap opera elsewhere that occupies the rest.

The Daily Mirror says the country is facing “months of chaos” and “mayhem”. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock or got poked in the Big Brother house at closing time – and lucky you if you have been – Theresa May’s Brexit deal was last night defeated for a second time in the Commons. MPs rejected her withdrawal agreement by a whopping 149 votes. More votes will now follow. MPs will vote on whether the UK should leave the EU without a deal and, if it should not, on whether Brexit should be delayed. Funny, no, how MPs get to have so many “meaningful” votes when we are just afforded just one – and it’s the one they’ve done their utmost to stymie.

Inside the Mirror, and over pages 4 and 5 we get odds on what will happen next. You can get 40-1 on May getting her deal through; 30-1 on a second referendum; 10-1 on a “softer Brexit – although what the means is moot; and 15-1 on a General Election. iI shot: no-one has a clue (dead cert). Odds on May having an affair with Jeremy Corbyn (80-1); Boris Johnson having an affair with Jeremy Corbyn (25-1); and Jeremy Corbyn f****** himself (11-10) are all available on request.

On page 6, we hear Corbyn urge MPs to ‘back Labour’s rival Brexit plan”. What that plan is remains less certain than a Corbynista queuing for the toilet at a conference of black, transgender Jewish lesbians. The paper notes: “After detailing Labour’s Brexit proposals, he [Corbyn] added: ‘We believe there will be a majority for the , but there will also be the potential of negotiating them.” The Mirror does not bother to outline the proposals. They just exist and are able to change. Why waste the ink?

What the papers do agree on is the need for a map. Political intrigue is great for graphic designers and illustrators.

brexit
The Sun
brexit
The Mail

And what of Mrs May, the architect of a useless plan? The Daily Mail blames not her for the mess, rather “contemptuous MPs” for plunging “our despairing nation into chaos”. It calls the House of Commons a “house of fools”. Is that bad? Umberto Eco identified fools as one of four kinds of people:

Fools are in great demand, especially on social occasions. They embarrass everyone but provide material for conversation…Fools don’t claim that cats bark, but they talk about cats when everyone else is talking about dogs. They offend all the rules of conversation, and when they really offend, they’re magnificent…

Fools they are, then.

Posted: 13th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment


Brexit: ‘traitor’ Tony Blair readies France to invade the UK in 45 minutes

tony blair
“Et Voila! There’s your withdrawal agreement, Britishers!”

Look out for the air and sea invasion. Tony Blair has been advising France’s President Macron on ways to beat the Brits in Brexit negotiations.

We voted for Brexit but Tony’s a bit ‘whatevs’ on the democracy lark. That Blair has no truck with democracy is something echoed by supporters of Saddam Hussein who voted their man into power on the kind of majority politicians dream of. On 16 October 2002, Saddam polled 100% of the popular vote, eclipsing the 99.96% received in 1995. The first message is clear: be careful what you wish for, dear Remainers, the second referendum might go worse for you. The second message is: a 52% percent approval rating for Brexit is the kind of result that gets Blair on the phone to fighter command. If he goes with form, France should invade the UK in around 45 minutes.

The Telegraph says the storied interventionist told Macron to “hold firm” while events play out in the UK. Blair told him that Parliament may eventually accept a customs union or grant the British public a second referendum on Brexit. So don’t give the sods an inch.

Ukipper Douglas Carswell writes in the Telegraph:

Stop and think about that for a moment. The French government is taking advice on how to deal with our country from someone last elected to public office fourteen years ago. That’s the same year that YouTube started – or two years before the first smartphone appeared.

TREASON! screams the Express. The paper hears “ex-Labour MP George Galloway” take to Twitter to say: “This is treason!” Last month the Express reported: “John Mann brands George Galloway a ‘TRAITOR to Labour.” Is Blair merely the alleged traitor’s alleged traitor? Is Macron Blair’s lovechild?

And vitally: can we start the air, rail and sea blockade with Blair still in Paris?

Posted: 12th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


After the Jack Grealish attack: it’s time all footballers were armed

stone island
Fire at will!

After Aston Villa’s Jack Grealish was attacked by a Birmingham City fan during Sunday’s derby at St. Andrew’s, reaction was swift. The idiot was jailed for 14 weeks.

Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville wondered that would have happened had the criminal been carrying a knife. It was a good question, although I wondered why Neville had thought only of a knife and not, say, a gun, candlestick or length of lead piping?

Neville’s thinking was doubtless shaped by historical events, particularly when Monica Selles was stabbed between the shoulder blades by a keen Steffi Graf fan during a break between games in a 1993 match in Germany. If it can happen in the rough trade of women’ tennis, why not in football’s controlled and marshalled realm?

Such is his breadth of Neville’s sporting knowledge, we should expect to hear the ubiquitous former Manchester United defender commentating at Wimbledon soon.

Meanwhile, over the airwaves on BBC Radio Wales – thus marking the punch as an international incident – ex-Birmingham forward David Cotterill served up the suggestion that police attending football matches be armed with guns. “Shoot” scream the crowd as the players take cover.

Again, the ex-pro is not going far enough. Why not twin football with darts or the javelin? Moreover, if the Modern Pentathlon can test athletes for their prowess with fencing, freestyle swimming, equestrian show jumping, and a final combined event of pistol shooting and cross country running, surely its within the wit of the FIFA to equip all footballers with rifles and print targets on replica kits issued to all fans at the turnstiles. Although given many football hooligans’ predilection for the Stone Island fashion brand, anyone clad in crosshairs is already fair game.

Posted: 12th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Sports | Comment


Manchester City: how much compensation can a club owned by trillionaires afford to pay victims of sexual abuse?

barry bennell abuse
The star maker – Barry Bennell

Former Manchester City youth coach Barry Bennell abused children at the club and at Crewe Alexandra between 1979 and 1990. He is serving a 31-year prison sentence.

To date, City are aware of 40 men who could take up the club’s decision to offer them compensation and a face-to-face apology.

But how much cash is enough? City say any claims will be dealt with within seven weeks. That’s faster than the civil courts. And how would City defend the indefensible?

The BBC says there are also allegations against a second man from the club’s youth set-up in the 1960s – John Broome. He was involved at City from 1964-71. He’s dead. He’s accused of raping children.

Gary Cliffe, one of Bennell’s victims, goes on the record: “They [City] let us down, they didn’t challenge him. They knew who he was and they allowed it to continue because he was producing results.”

How much is the right amount of compensation for being raped and abused as a child? And should the payment be linked to the club’s extraordinary wealth? The BBC says victim can apply for general damages, “potential loss of earnings if their careers have been affected, therapy fees and legal costs. The list had me up to “if”. Everything is affected. No ifs. No buts.

The talk if of six-figure sums. Enough? The Guardian:

…Bennell, who was convicted last year of 50 specimen charges relating to 12 boys, aged eight to 14, from 1979-91, and has been described by the police as one of the worst paedophiles in UK criminal history, numbers-wise, with potentially hundreds of victims – in one case, even taking one of City’s youngsters on to the pitch at Maine Road, the club’s former ground, to abuse him behind the goal…

Police documents from the 1990s question City’s stance during the criminal investigation, with one detective suggesting the club’s priority was to avoid damaging publicity. The now-deceased Len Davies, a scout who worked alongside Bennell, admitted that one of England’s major football clubs was “beguiled and hoodwinked” by the man, now 65, who liked to be known as “the star-maker.”

Of course that was then. Nothing of the sort happens now, does it?

Posted: 12th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Manchester City, News, Sports | Comment


Michael Jackson: beat him and burn him but don’t miss the Wacko Jacko exhibition at The Tate

Michael Jackson fan Seany O'Kane displays a message of support
Michael Jackson fan Seany O’Kane displays a message of support

No-one’s dug Michael Jackson up and beaten the corpse with sticks. Nor have they set his remains alight – and given his latter-years’ waxy appearance, stuck a wick in his head and let him burn so that all the living can see what we do to dead stars accused of molesting children and getting away with it. For now we’ll have to make do with burning Wacko Jacko’s memorabilia, which is what anyone who tuned into HBO’s four-hour-long documentary Leaving Neverland saw as the closing credits rolled. Before we got to the burning pyre of branded Jackson merchandises, we heard the harrowing and credible testimonies of Wade Robson and James Safechuck. The two claim that they were abused as children by Michael Jackson.

But unless Jackson begins to speak and justice can grind and arrive at some incorruptible truth, facts are hard to ascertain, and people will take sides and turn hideous, grim alleged crimes into a shouting match.

All we have is a spark of light in the darkness that is soon extinguished, leaving us to flounder in search of its source. Maybe the next spark will alight on a new angle and flash us glimpses of different propositions, thing to stir our hunches and armchair investigations based on prejudice, righteousness, caprice and schadenfreude? After all, as Tim Black notes, “Robson was convincing and credible in 2005, when he took to the stand in defence of Jackson, over allegations of child molestation. And then he was not facing the sympathetic director of Leaving Neverland, Dan Reed, but fearsome prosecution attorney Tom Sneddon.” But that’s child abusers for you: they know their quarry are easily scared.

So what are you going to do with your Michael Jackson clobber and records? It’s not as if he sang about paedophilia and promoted it as a lifestyle choice. The music and videos were wildly entertaining. Can you ignore the man and delight in their product?

Last year, the Tate exhibited the work of English artist Edward Burne-Jones (28 August 1833 – 17 June 1898). The brochure says he “brought imaginary worlds to life in awe-inspiring paintings, stained glass windows and tapestries”. You can see his work at the National Portrait Gallery. When not making worthy art, Eddie was busy being a virulent anti-Semite. His Jew hatred was “blatant and repulsive“. And what of Phil Spector? He murdered a woman. You can hear his records on the radio and buy the house where the crime took place.

Patience, Jackson diehards. Your hero will rise again. The smart investor will be buying up Jackson’s oeuvre and old tour jackets while prices plummet. One day they’ll put on a show at the Tate and that stuff will be worth a bomb.

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, TV & Radio | Comment


Woman offers umbrella to Python eating a wallaby

Woman offers umbrella to Python eating a wallaby

“I was driving back up the drive and glanced back across the paddock and saw something big and thought ‘oh no, I don’t like the look of this’,” says Miss Lisa Delany, of Queensland, Australia.

“I parked the car and had a look and from a distance I could see that it was a python. It was starting to get quite hot and I felt kind of sorry for the snake because it was going to all this effort. I went and got a really big umbrella and sort of laid it so it was casting some shade on it.

“I went back later and had a look and it had sort of regurgitated a bit of [it] and was trying to work its way back up the body. Whether it got too hot or it felt threatened, it had just given up … I’ve just been keeping an eye out in the meantime.”

Spotter: ABC

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment


Found: the first recorded use of the word ‘Fuck’

Fuck monk first recorded word english language

“It would be impossible to imagine going through life without swearing, and without enjoying swearing,” says Stephen Fry.  What’s good for him was good, too, for a 1528 monk., whose line “O D fuckin abbot” is the earliest recorded use of the word ‘fuck’ in the English language.

Spotter: Flashbak

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment


Biased BBC: John McDonnell is Fleabag on BBC News

John McDonnell BBC

More questions over the dreaded mainstream media’s treatment of Jeremy Corbyn and his comrades after last night’s BBC News at Ten used an image of shadow chancellor John McDonnell to trail a TV show called Fleabag during a segment on Brexit.

Fleabag is about an angry, confused young woman living in London. As anyone knows, John McDonnell as with Corbyn, is an angry and confused man living in London. Although Labour abhors gender labelling, so McDonnell might well be angry and confused woman living in London after all.

John McDonnell is 68.

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


Shamima Begum to get Duke of Edinburgh gold award

begum shamima

Aid workers and refugees were in mourning today at the news that a child has died in a refugee camp. “We’re inconsolable,” says Farida Agha, a Yazidi woman living in a nearby camp. “I just hope the refugee community can finally come together over this terrible tragedy. Like me, Shamima Begum experienced the horror of war. Sure, I was raped, sold into slavery, my brother beheaded and father buried alive in a pit, and Shamima’s role was to make tea, babies and cheers for the killers, but we both of us now live in tents. There’s a common bond.”

“Up til now no-one had ever died in a refugee camp,” says Kurdish widower Ibrahim Kalhor. “We Kurds used to live in houses and flats, too far away from nature. We ate processed food and took drugs and pills for our ailments. But thanks to the likes of Shamima and her friends’ tireless efforts, our diet is now one exclusively of flour and water. Our cancers, mental illness and my son’s diphtheria can be treated with fresh air and the warming sun.”

“They should give Shamima an MBE,” says one source known locally as ‘Jihadi Jane’. “Or at least a job running the Duke of Edinburgh Award scheme. (May death be upon him!) Doing the Jihad Scheme is one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life. It’s been an amazing adventure. Shamima inspired me to explore new territories. I’ve gathered friendships and the experiences and memories that will last a lifetime. Not your’s obviously, because you’ll be dead as soon as I’ve finished polishing my knife.”

Posted: 9th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment


Shamima Begum: the baby is alive, dead and possibly British

Shamima Begum son dead
Facts: zero. News: lots

Shamima Begum is back in the news because her lawyer, Tasnime Akunjee, has “told the Guardian”: “We have strong but as yet unconfirmed reports that Shamima Begum’s son has died. He was a British citizen.” We can debate the boy’s nationality at our leisure. And we can all wonder why the lawyer has gone on the record with a rumour?

Shamima Begum

But, boy, have the media ever lapped it up. Akunjee seems to “told” the Guardian pretty much exactly what he told everyone else on Twitter, posting today: “We have strong but as yet unconfirmed reports that Shamima Begums son has died. He was a British Citizen.”

EXCLUSIVE: Akunjee speaks to everyone

“Leaks said that ISIS bride Shamima’s son died are fake. The bebe [sic] is alive and healthy,” tweeted Mustafa Bali, a spokesman for the Syrian Democratic Forces.

Fact. Who needs ’em…

Posted: 8th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment


Billionaire with Short Man Syndrome dies in penis enlargement operation

penis operation enlargement

Sometimes enough is enough. He was 65. What a schmuck. Not a big one – well, not as big as he wanted to be. But rest well Ehud Arye Laniado, a billionaire diamond trader who reportedly died during penis enlargement surgery that triggered a “heart attack’ at a Paris clinic for big swinging dicks.

The Sun’s obituary is choice:

According to media reports, Laniado suffered from a so-called Napoleon complex due his short stature. The old friend [no that ‘old friend’] said that Laniado was “always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him”. According to Laniado’s friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day, it was reported.

You can argue about why he grew big in diamonds – rock-hard diamonds prized for quality over size – amongst yourselves.

Posted: 7th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment


Madeleine McCann: Netflix and Maddie Podcast in ratings battle

mccann maddie podcast

Netflix and chill to the Maddie McCann documentary soon-to-be streamed to your living rooms. It’ll be a show that tugs hard on the single-thread story: child vanishes. What light it will shed on the vanishing is clear to anyone whose followed the story since May 2007, when the British child disappeared on a family holiday to Portugal. None. This is entertainment. Child vanishes, possibly abducted and, if the media narrative is right, maybe sold into slavery and sexually abused. Netflix and chill.

Madeleine McCann’s parents, Kate and Gerry McCann, have taken no part in the show, say reports. But they’ll know about it, and if the McCanns take out a Netflix subscription they can watch it and thereby find out if Maddie is a hit.

But who needs to wait for Netflix’s hot take when the ‘Our Maddie’ show has barely paused for breath since it first aired on May 3 2007. On today’s 9News (Australia) you can read: “Top Maddie cop: ‘I’ve seen nothing to make me think Gerry and Kate McCann had something to do with daughter’s disappearance’.” Well, d’uh. If you had done, Mr Top Cop, you’d have surely questioned them about it. But the bigger question remains: can you build a media career on knowing nothing?

Before we hear from Jim Gamble, the former head of Child Exploitation and Online Protection centre (CEOP), know this: “Maddie is currently the number one podcast on Australia’s iTunes chart, reaching that spot inside of 24 hours of launch.” We’re Number 1!

In episode two of Maddie, Nine.com.au’s new podcast investigating Madeleine’s disappearance, Gamble outlined the profilers’ mission, and potential crime scene scenarios his team explored.

“When the case first began to unravel … I began to simply watch the news feed and then get direct feedback from our team on the ground,” Gamble said. “Being a police officer, I am a cynic… I believe that any good investigator clears the ground beneath their feet. So of course the first people you suspect are the parents, because they are there, they are in proximity, it is their child. Did I believe at the beginning that the parents could possibly have done it? Yes. As time went on, did I see evidence that supported that hypothesis? No, I did not.”

Adding apropos of ‘ME!’:

“Now that’s not to say that something couldn’t turn up in the future where I think: ‘Oh flip, you know I was right in the beginning and I’m wrong now’. But I’ve seen nothing, been briefed on nothing and heard nothing that would make me think that Gerry and Kate McCann [had] something to do with their daughter’s disappearance.”

What utter balls. Speculation is not news. But enough of that old copper because here comes another one. The Mail hears the plod of shiny boots on media studio carpet: “Friend of Kate McCann slams retired police chief who said their claims Maddie was abducted through their apartment window raised a ‘red flag’.”

A family friend to Kate McCann has slammed claims made by a top superintendent that the story around her disappearance raises ‘red flags’.
In a podcast by 9 News, retired superintendent Peter MacLeod cast doubt on the logistics of an abductor theory and said it would have been ‘difficult’ for a kidnapper to have entered the Praia da Luz apartment as three-year-old Madeleine slept. However a friend of the family refuted the ‘spurious allegations’ and the suggestion that Madeleine’s parents, from Rothley, Leicestershire, had anything to do with her kidnapping.

The family “friend” remains nameless, as ever it was. The Mail quotes McLeod:

During the podcast, titled Maddie, the retired police chief said: ‘The window is only an absolutely maximum 50cm wide, in reality 46 wide, and it’s already a metre off the ground. I had a look at that and my shoulders are wider than that little window. So although you could climb in sideways you certainly can’t jump in if you are a normal sized person.’

[Size of his shoulders unstated but available on request.]

‘I frankly do not think it’s possible. It would be difficult enough to get yourself in. You’d have to grab hold of windows, grab hold of things. Then you’ve got to pick up a child without waking it up without waking the other two children. I do not think it can be done, or let me put it another way, I do not see how anyone could do it.’

Insight be damned!

A “friend to the McCann family” tells the Sun: “Spurious allegations discussing what might have and might not have happened that night have been made umpteen times. Anybody can do a podcast, it doesn’t mean it’s right, and one spouting off about what they did and subsequently said is something quite frankly they will ignore. What would he know?”

Well ignored. And now for the main event… which will be right after over a decade of prequels…

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News | Comment


TSA stops man with rocket-propelled grenade launcher in bags

TSA rocket-propelled grenade

To Pennsylvania airport, where a traveller is being met by the traditional refrain “Anything to declare, sir?” Yes and no. He does have a rocket-propelled grenade launcher in his bags. But it’s not working. But it looks as though it might.

The AP:

The Transportation and Security Administration says the unassembled parts of the launcher and a replica grenade were found on Monday when an alarm went off as the bag passed through security equipment at Lehigh Valley International Airport in Allentown, about 60 miles north of Philadelphia.

The man, from St. Augustine, was stopped by police and told officials he thought he could bring the non-functioning launcher onboard in a checked bag.

The items were confiscated and he was able to catch his flight to Orlando.

Rocket-propelled grenade launchers are not yet Government issue in Florida. But give it time.

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment


Ilan Omar: the Left knows a Muslim woman can’t be an anti-Semite

Omar Jews

Ilhan Omar is the Somali-American elected to a seat in the US congress. She is noticeable by her hijab, a rare sight in Congress. This Democrat is also making headlines for her problem with Jews.

She’s not a far-Right anti-Semite. No tattooed knuckles, Swastika and bone head for her. Omar’s little problem is that she keeps casting Jews as things less worthy than the rest of society, things outside the civilised norm. She says “Israel has hypnotised the world” for its “evil doings”. She says US politicians defend Israel because “It’s all about the Benjamins” paid by the American Israel Political Action Committee to blind the world to that age-old unique Jewish barbarity.

This is about Jews and their kabbalistic rites. Jews and their money. Jews and their control of world affairs. Jews cannot be trusted. Jews can never be patriots. Jews are always something other. Never trust a Jew.

Alerted to such blatant anti-semitism – I believe they’re called tropes – and pressured by leading members in her party to apologise – Omar realised her error. She offered an apology or sorts in which she cast herself as the victim and embarked on a familiar journey away from ignorance.

And then she took a turn back to her old path. “It’s all about the Benjamins,” shouted a member of her fan club as she attended a meet and greet at a Washington DC book store. Omar did not slap the commenter down. She smiled. And then she told the throng: “I want to talk about the political influence in this country that says it is okay to push for allegiance to a foreign country”.

Got that? Pledge allegiance to the US flag and you’re pledging allegiance to Israel and those pesky Jews. That’s not a long-standing alliance. It is, dear readers, a Jewish conspiracy. Klu Klux Klan leader David Duke branded the US federal government the ZOG (Zionist-Occupied Government). But Omar’s nothing like that white, Christian man.

She dug down. Omar replied to a tweet from Representative Nita Lowey of New York, “should not be expected to have allegiance/pledge support to a foreign country in order to serve my country in Congress.”

To Omar’s side at the book store sat her fellow Muslim congresswoman, Rashida Tlaib. She once opined that American political supporters of Israel “forgot what country they represent”. To see Israel as an ally is to be a traitor to the USA. Anti-Semitic much? No! Perish the thought. “A lot of our Jewish colleagues, a lot of constituents, a lot of our allies, go to thinking that everything we say about Israel to be anti-Semitic because we are Muslim,” says Omar.

You see. She can’t be an anti-Semite because she’s a Muslim woman. Everyone on the enlightened, colour-blind Left knows that.

Posted: 5th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Jeremy Corbyn and the egging: what really happened

Corbyn egg
This is not an egg

John Murphy, the man accused of assaulting Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn, has been talking. He tells the Guido Fawkes blog:


“Yesterday I squished an egg on Jeremy Corbyn’s head. I look forward to coming to parliament to meet with Mr Corbyn. He has invited Hamas and IRA so I am sure he will be happy to invite a harmless egg thrower like me. My one request? That he respect the referendum result. The suffragettes believed that if you reject democratic rights, civil disobedience is acceptable. Jeremy Corbyn and hundreds of other MPs are seeking to deny the democratic rights of most of our country, so I believe that makes civil disobedience egg-ceptable.”

Yep. “Squished”. There is no footage of the incident. Corbyn was “unharmed” says the BBC. And if Murphy claims it was a “squished” egg, can we argue otherwise? Yes, because how the egg made contact with Corbyn has been the matter of much heated debate.

“The Labour leader was visiting a mosque in north London when the egg was thrown at him on Sunday” – BBC

Corbyn was “punched” with an egg:

The egg was “fisted” in the Guardian:

The Labour MP Jess Phillips tweeted after the Corbyn incident: “Acts of violence against politicians, loses your argument, lessens your cause and demeans our democracy. It’s also just horrid. Don’t do it. If you don’t agree with him raise your voice not your fists.”

The “punched” egg might have contained a knife:

The Scottish Daily Record says Corbyn was “pelted” with a “thrown” egg.

The Metro says: “A man has been arrested after hitting Jeremy Corbyn with an egg.”

What egg? Show me the egg!

Sky News says the egg was “placed” on Corbyn’s head.

It’ll all come out in court, of course – and in the wash, should Corbyn have an eggy stain to remove.

Posted: 5th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Knife Crime: stop and search wanted; austerity blamed; a Government licence to carry a knife

knife crime

The Times is alone in not leading with knife crime. For all other national newspapers the biggest story is of “warzones on our streets” (Express) and what the Government can and cannot do about teenagers being stabbed to death.

The Telegraph wants police to be given stop-and-search powers. Readers see a photo of school friends of stabbing victim Yousef Makki embracing. Yousef, a pupil at Manchester Grammar school, was stabbed to death in Gorse Bank Road, Hale Barns, near Altrincham, on Saturday. Two 17-year-old boys have been arrested on suspicion of murder.

Are more police the answer to the “knife crime epidemic’? The Guardian says it is. The paper says there is a link between stabbings and reduced police numbers brought about by austerity. “How many more, Mrs May?” asks the Mirror, blaming the Prime Minister for 27 murders.

But is that why 27 teenagers have been knifed to death this year, because there are not enough police to control them? Surely there’s something more at the root of the matter than control? May says there is “no direct correlation between certain crimes and police numbers”. So certain crimes police are powerless to stop? Focus less on knife crime, perhaps, and more on people not paying their TV licence, doing 34mph in a 30mph zone and saying nasty things online.

Maybe the State could issue licences for people to own a knife, making a nice little earner from the horror and hitting the perps where the Government likes to hit them hardest: in their pockets?

Nuts? One other proposal for knife control was floated:

A judge wants the points of kitchen knives to be rounded and blunted to reduce the number of young men dying from stab wounds in street attacks.

Judge Nic Madge said ordinary kitchen knives were causing a “soaring loss of life”, rather than more heavily regulated large-bladed weapons… Kitchens contain lethal knives which are potential murder weapons and only butchers and fishmongers need eight or 10 inch kitchen knives with points,” the judge said.

Knives for only those who need them? Look out for the looming fork crime epidemic.

Posted: 5th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment


When Jeremy Corbyn, Diane Abbott and Barry Gardiner wanted to ban Keith Flint

On 08 December 1997, Jeremy Corbyn wanted to ban us from knowing about a song by The Prodigy. The groups’ frontman Keith Flint has died too soon at the age of just 49. The early day motion to ban the mesmeric, relentless Smack My Bitch Up went:

That this House expresses its disgust and outrage at the advertising billboard campaign to promote a record album entitled Smack my Bitch Up; and urges the recording company to withdraw this advertisement immediately.

Of the 41 people who wanted music banned, the following are notable:

Keith Fint Labour the Prodigy

Where are they now? Yep – ‘Disgusted of Westminster’ are threatening to lead the country.

Spotter: Keith Flint, the last punk

Posted: 4th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Music, News, Politicians | Comment


Labour’s Anti-Semitism: Rachel Riley sues Jeremy Corbyn staffer for libel

rachel riley

More now on the egg that was “tossed”, “pelted”, thrown” and smashed down on Jeremy Corbyn’s head with a clenched “fist“. After much debate on the nature of how the egg came into contact with the Labour leader’s bonce, and that’s before we get into the nature of Big-Endians and Little-Endians, know that the matter has ended in legal action for three people. John Murphy will answer the charge of assault by beating at Highbury Corner Magistrates’ Court on 19 March. And Countdown presenter Rachel Riley has instructed Mark Lewis to pursue a libel claim against Corbyn’s well-blooded staffer Laura Murray, reports the Jewish Chronicle.

After Corbyn was allegedly assaulted by someone who reportedly “broke” an egg over his head, Murray tweeted: “Today Jeremy Corbyn went to his local mosque for visit my mosque day, and was attacked by a Brexiteer. Rachel Riley tweets that Corbyn deserves to be violently attacked because he is a Nazi. This woman is as dangerous as she is stupid. Nobody should engage with her. Ever.” Don’t bother looking it up. Murray has paused / deleted her account. But there is a screengrab of the allegedly libellous tweet:

That comment was a reaction to Riley triggering Owen Jones, the insufferably smug Guardian columnist and Corbyn lickspittle who had previously tweeted in reaction to another egging – an egg was aimed at BNP leader Nick Griffin: “I think sound life advice is, if you don’t want eggs thrown at you, don’t be a Nazi. Seems fair to me.” After Corbyn’s egging, Riley added the bon mots “good advice”.

Called out for his hypocrisy, Jones went for the pile on:

Owen Jones Rachel Riley
Owen Jones Rachel Riley

Nasty stuff. And given Labour’s “institutional racism” against Jews, deeply worrying, too. The Telegraph reports on another angle to this farago:

The daughter of one of Jeremy Corbyn’s closest allies has been transferred to the Labour party’s complaints team, despite launching an online attack on anti-Semitism campaigner Rachel Riley. Laura Murray, an aide in Mr Corbyn’s office, has been moved to help process anti-Semitism cases faster.

She is the daughter of Andrew Murray, chief of staff to Unite union leader Len McCluskey.

Louise Ellman, the Labour MP, said the appointment “puts a major question mark on whether the people running this organisation understand the concerns.”

Are those investigations fair and proper? The FT says Lord Falconer, a lord chancellor under Tony Blair’s administration invited by Labour to review their approach to anti-semitism in the party, wants to see all emails about the issue and how they are stores. The paper hears insiders say Falconer’s demand “could potentially reveal political interference from advisers to Jeremy Corbyn, the party leader, or the use of non-party email accounts”. Expect to read more on gutters and moral compasses.

But Riley is no pushover:

Rachel Riley is a Jew. Labour has a problem with Jews.

And so to court. In he meanwhile, the curate has a point:

Right Reverend Host: “I’m afraid you’ve got a bad Egg, Mr Jones!”; The Curate: “Oh no, my Lord, I assure you! Parts of it are excellent!” “True Humility” by George du Maurier, originally published in Punch, 9 November 1895.

Posted: 4th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Hurray for Troy Deeney: Watford’s anti-role model role model

david cameron
Cameron and someone else’s child

If Wayne Rooney is your role model, you’re either one of his sons or mentally negligible. The Government loves to portray footballers as our moral guides, whether they’re being wheeled out tell us what to eat, who to shag and what not to smoke.

The nadir was when David Cameron saw Liverpool’s Luis Suárez bite an opponent and lamented how the Uruguayan had set “the most appalling example” to children. Dad might have ordered the bombing of Libya, accidentally left his eight-year-old daughter in the pub, said he supported West Ham having already declared an allegiance to Aston Villa but all that was small fry to stories of a stranger biting a stranger. You can topple Muammar Gaddafi, creating a power vacuum and instability in North Africa, encourage the rise of Islamist militancy within range of Italy, but it’s a footballer who teaches by example.

And so it was that Watford striker Troy Deeney was asked what he could do to stop knife crime in Britain. “I don’t like the word role model, first and foremost,” Deeney told BBC Radio 5 Live. 

“The role model should be in the house at all times. We’re all humans – people make mistakes. We’re putting emphasis on being famous as more important than being a good person. What are we basing the role model on? Because we’re in the limelight. I don’t like that. If my kids look up to a man bigger and better than me, then that’s me not doing my job. My dad was not a footballer. He wasn’t anything remotely what the average person would say was a role model – but in my eyes he was Superman.”

Next up: why no-one in politics ever talks about politicians being role models for the kidz.

Posted: 4th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Sports | Comment


I’m not just masturbating in the mirror – I’m being autosexual with my selfie stick

A question for readers The Metro: “What’s it like being autosexual, when you’re attracted to yourself?” Is it a bit like being a wanker, only with more mirrors, a selfie stick and an Instagram account? It’s just Me, Myself & O:

Auosexual

The story, such as it is, is choice. It is, of course, written in the first person:

“My earliest memories of checking myself out in the mirror and feeling attraction happened at around age seven. I didn’t learn the term “autosexual” until after I graduated from college in 2013. My attraction to myself made me confused at times, but once I learned about autosexuality, I was glad there was a word for my experience. I’ve recognised myself as being in a relationship with myself since I was in college. I just didn’t have the vocabulary to express my experiences.”

Are there other words to define such grinding narcissism?

Posted: 4th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment


Jeremy Corbyn egged; John Murphy charged with assault by beating; Brexit not Islam

John Murphy from Barnet has been arrested and charged with assault by beating. It’s alleged he egged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn as he and the shadow home secretary Diane Abbott visited the Finsbury Park Mosque in north London as part of My Mosque Day, when people are invited to step inside a local mosque.

Mr Murphy will appear at Highbury Corner Magistrates’ Court on 19 March. At least then we’ll find out what happened. There is, lamentably, no video of the incident. The BBC says an egg was thrown at Corbyn and Mr Murphy is 31. The Times says Murphy is 41 and that the eggs “was pressed down on his [Corbyn’s] head rather than thrown”. CNN says Corbyn was “pelted with an egg”.

Play it down or talk it up? Or maybe just tell it like it is?

Sky News:

“Mr Corbyn got a warm welcome when he was round the corner at the Finsbury Park Mosque,” said Jon Craig. “But then he came here, to the Muslim Welfare Centre, with [shadow home secretary] Diane Abbott. While he was here in an upstairs room, a protester – a pro-Brexit protester we understand, according to eyewitnesses – placed an egg on his head.” PA reported that the attacker was overheard to say “when you vote you get what you vote for”.

It’s about Brexit not Islam.

And was Corbyn in the Mosque or not in the Mosque? Sky says he wasn’t. The Independent agrees: “Corbyn egg attack: Man charged over ‘assault’ outside London mosque.” But the Guardian says Corbyn was inside:

The Labour leader was unharmed and left the mosque with a police escort at about 6.30pm. Corbyn’s alleged attacker, who was not a regular visitor to the mosque, had been waiting inside the building.

Pick a prejudice and run with it:

An MP joins in:

As ever, Jews are dragged into it:

Jeremy Corbyn: enemy of the people?

Blame the media for this eggy smear? Now, when’s Easter..?

Posted: 4th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment