Posts Tagged ‘Amy Winehouse’
Amy Winehouse Addicted To Jimmy Choo’s Choos And Blake’s Romeo
AMY Winehouse is addicted to “Choos” – Jimmy Choo’s Choos.
The Star hears from Mitch Winehouse, the man with the inside take on his daughter’s life:
“Amy has blown stupid amounts on shoes, she’s replaced her drugs addiction with a shopping addiction.”
This follow the Mitch Winehouse news that Amy Winehouse – the one with the “fantastic” breasts is “Addicted’ To Knickers”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Amy Winehouse And Blake To Remarry In 13 Steps
AMY Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are back together. Heat magazine leads with a picture of the pair in a canoodle.
“Amy admits: ‘We’re addicted to each other.”
Heat meets Blake at his flat in Sheffield. All good, then. Only, heat speaks of friends being “terrified” and wracked with “fears” that Amy and Blake will be less than good for each other. These “friends” who sue heat like a therapist to share their private terrors need to ask themselves this: what hurts more, unrequited love or the removal of a “Blake” tattoo from your left bosom?
Read the rest of this entry »
Alex Reid And Amy Winehouse Separated At Birth: Photo Proof
AMY Winehouse has married Alex Reid, as you know. And to set your minds at rest that they married for love in the utmost privacy (the camera crew were hand picked – all dear friends) they issue a press release:
“Their decision to marry has not been made with any pre-conceived commercial plan or media deal in place, and their reason for getting married is purely down to their love for each other.”
Communinque ends.
In other news, Alex Reid looks just like Amy Winehouse. Are they related?
Posted: 3rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Amy Winehouse Pleads Guilty To Panto Assault: In Pictures
AMY Winehouse was at Milton Keynes Magistrates Court to plead guilty to charges of common assault and disorder in connection with an incident at a Christmas pantomime. Oh yes she did! Wino was alleged to have lashed out at the theatre manager after disrupting a performance of Cinderella at Milton Keynes Theatre in Buckinghamshire. The Celebrity Police Fore draw lots. A celebrity arrest in made. And two more Bobbies get their pictures on Anorak and on the walls of the staff canteen. Smiles: 100 Great Pop Music Photos Of The Decade: Part 1 – 100 Great Pop Music Photos Of The Decade: Part 2:
8230144
Posted: 20th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Amy Winehouse: Blake’s ‘Secret’ Lover Sarah Aspin Tells Of Cluedo Sex And Marriage
AMY Winehouse’s gone-off former husband Blake Fielder–Civil has a “secret” fiancée. It’s Sarah Aspin. And sex in the style of a game of Cluedo.
Pretty much everything about Blake is secret. How big are his feet? Does he dress to the left? Brown or Miliband?
But we do learn that Blake has been dating “pretty brunette” Sarah Aspin, who met Blaaaaaake at a drugs rehab centre.
He even PROPOSED to her and talked about having CHILDREN with her… while setting up a second wedding to Amy, 26, in St Lucia next month.
And we know this because Sarah tells us:
“We didn’t even make it to the bedroom and made love in the living room as soon as we got in.”
Left or right, Sarah? We need to know.
“I lay in his arms afterwards that night and we discussed wedding plans. We decided we’d get married on a tropical beach and honeymoon in Mexico.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Amy Winehouse And Mitch To Record Musical?
IS Amy Winehosuse tiring of Mitch, her dad who Amy’s dad, everyone, moving on from telling us about his daughter’s “fantastic” breasts and knickers?
Writes Amy Wino on Twitter:
“WHY don’t my dad WRITE a SONG when something bothers him instead of going on national tv?”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Amy Winehouse ‘Addicted’ To Knickers
AMY Winehsoue story of the day is in the Star, wherein readers learn that the sometime singer is “addicted to sexy knickers”.
Can you smoke a thong? Can you inject French knickers ? Is sniffing your knickers to check for freshness a gateway drug?
Says dad Mitch Winehouse:
“Amy quit the drugs in her own way. But other problems have developed. She’ll go into Agent Provocateur and spend £3,000 on underwear in one go.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Amy Winehouse’s Arrest, RATM’s Anger And Pete Doherty’s Drugs Make This A Christmas Of Rare Nostligia
GOOD news is that the gap between episodes of the X Factor is being gamely filled with the usual suspects: first Pete Doherty is arrested for doing what you expect him to do and secondly Amy Winehouse has been charged in connection with an assault at the Milton Keynes Theatre.
Christmas is all about nostalgia. Rage Against the Machine’s old song is at No. 1, and Pete and Amy are meeting and greeting officers of the law.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Amy Winehouse Wears Blake’s Engagement Ring And Marries
AMY Winehouse is wearing Blake Fielder Civil’s ring. On her finger. Before Katie Price and Peter Andre can reunite, Amy and Blake are getting back together.
Read the rest of this entry »
Amy Winehouse To Star In New Patridge Family Show
AMY Winehouse’s metamorphosis into I’m A Celebrity’s Katie Price moves on as news reaches us that the singer wants more plastic surgery.
Yes, we know. This is the second Amy Winehouse story of the day but there is now more of her to cover. (Katie Price’s columns inches are correlated to the sixe of her Jordans.)
Having been cut up and sewn back together around the chest, Amy now wants to have her nose altered. Can it be that Amy has been looking at those London Zoo elephants with envy? “I’ll ‘ave me one ov dose noses,” says she. Bigger nostrils will make her envy of every Camden Town sniffer.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Amy Winehouse Is ‘Living’ In A ‘House’ In The London Clinic
DID you know that Amy Winehouse has “set up house – in the hospital where docs fixed her boobs”?
Amy Winehouse is living in a hospital, says the Star. Having kicked illegal drugs, Amy is now living in a hospital where prescription – legal – drugs are only a press on the bell away, nurses are her maids and fading to black comes after counting down from 10?
The troubled singer has moved into the posh, private London Clinic. Amy Winehouse is living there full-time so she can be monitored by doctors round the clock.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Sacks Katie Price
THE year is now divided into TV shows: And November means I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!, staring Katie Price in the sack and out of a bikini.
While the BBC’s care home-focused non-dancing dance show Strictly Come Dancing – does anyone allowed to operate the remote control watch it? – ITV follows the X Factor with another hit.
The show features the following celebrities, who would once have been called “personalities” and before that “VIPs”:
George Hamilton – Does the Hollywood legends know the sun cannot reach the jungle floor? Big risk that his tan might suffer. Expects a deep mahogany giving way to light maple as the show progresses.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)
China’s ‘God’s Hand’ Inflatable Bra Commercial Finds A Use For Your Car’s Cigarette Lighter
KATIE Price is finished. Pamela Anderson has had it. Victoria Beckham can be plugged into the car cigarette lighter. Amy Winehouse is valve away from avoiding the anaesthetic. News reaches us from China of the inflatable bra.
The size of your breasts is now only restricted by gravity and the days’ wind report.
And men, you too can look like Simon Cowell, or like Buster Gonad. Cue the video for ‘God’s Hand’ (which is warm):
Translation:
*Male interpreter*
Is her, Is her, her is her AGAIN! she is the same, just that a breast size is different!
*The girl speaks*
When I go to the office, I adjust to B cup. Pretty in every sense!
When I hit the streets, I adjust to a C cup. I bedazzle all the people around me!
When I party, I adjust to a D cup. Hot and Fiery!
*Man interpreter comes back*
B, C, D THREE DIFFERENT SIZES
Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment
X Factor Playlist: Danyl Johnson Sings Prince’s Purple Rain, Stacey Solomon Does Springfield
ON tonight’s X Factor, Daniel Lloyd will be singing Stand By Me in the manner of Pinocchio before The Change, and Stacey Solomon will squeak out Son Of A Preacherman, not in the style of Amy Winehouse gargling baby milk.
As for the rest – with predictions:
John & Edward: GhostBusters, Ray Parker, Jr. It’s awful. But is it awful enough?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor: Joe McElderry Breaks Rib And Stacey Solomon Engaged To Olly Murs
X Factor No News Round-up: Stacey Solomon not Amy Winehouse, Joe McElderry’s rib not broken, Sting’s no X Factor and the Sex Pistols would not win…
Unreality TV: “Mitch Winehouse: ‘Stacey Solomon is NOT The new Amy Winehouse!’”
She’s better?
“Amy and I and the family were watching X Factor and when Rachel got knocked out – we thought it was a complete disaster. We were having a lovely dinner – I was having a chicken vindaloo and Amy was having a chicken Korma and we almost choked – almost put us right off our food. Almost but not quite…”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Stacey Solomon On Coke With Amy Winehouse
HAS it escaped the Daily Mail’s notice that X Factor hopeful Stacey Solomon is a single mum? Well, no it hasn’t:
The Dagenham Diva: Single mum Stacey’s wowed the X Factor with her ditzy witterings, but is she the ingénue she seems?
No. Yes. Maybe. Can we vote?
Back home in Dagenham, where Stacey lives with her mum in a street dominated by dreary pebbled-dashed post-war terraces, relieved only by the occasional off-licence or chip shop, net curtains twitched as she arrived home – a welcome flash of glamour…
Net curtains are so retro. It’s all CCTV these days. Go on:
In part, she is representative of what many young single mothers in Britain believe today: that the only way out is if someone waves a magic wand. In Solomon’s case, that someone is millionaire X Factor judge Simon Cowell. In a sense, she is the perfect modern-day Cinderella. From the rag-trade of Whitechapel where her great-grandparents lived at the beginning of the century to the riches of X Factor, she has become the nation’s sweetheart.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 31st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Amy Winehouse’s New Breasts Get Caught In A Lift At Q Awards: Pictures
AT the Q Awards, Amy Winehouse appeared a few seconds after her new breasts, the ones her dad Mitch calls “fantastic”. Amy also has full lips and a nose covered in freckles that when joined up with a felt tip form a picture of a gibbon hailing a taxi.
Hats off to Amy for helping to give hacks something news to talk about other than her music. When she stopped her drugs, there was a panic. Now Amy has the new breasts ho help us pass the time. Sure, they look like two bald doctors examining her chest, but health is all.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 26th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (10)
Amy Winehouse’s Dad Mitch Says Her Breasts Are ‘Fantastic’
WHEN Amy Winehouse moved overseas, Mitch Winehouse waited. He and a bit. But mostly he waited.
Now Mitch is on This Morning. Philip Schofield says Mitch wrote his daughter’s obituary. Mitch says he didn’t. Schofield wonders if he’s sure? Mitch is sure.
While the researcher fetches her coat, Mitch talks about educating MPs on how to improve treatment for drug addicts. Mitch has a cause. And Holly Willoughby gives full throat to more bad research, saying that “offending addicts” go to prison and get treatment.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Starsuckers: Amy Winehouse’s Hair Catches Fire In Michael Jackson Tribute
Starsuckers – new film exposes how Amy Winehouse’s hair caught fire in trouching tribute to Michael Jackson…
IN Starsuckers, a group of documentary film makers in London’s Brick Lane take on the role of actual tabloid journalists by trying to plant fake celebrity stories in the national press.
Says the film’s director Chris Atkins in the Guardian:
“We consumed a lot of coffee thinking about it. How can we do this intelligently? How can we prove our point? But how can we make it funny?”
It’s a great idea. Not too long ago, we got a call from big TV production company asking to speak with Barry Richards, 16, a pupil at the Wat Tyler comprehensive in Grays, and a leading member of the Essex Young Conservatives.
His book, The Little Blue Schoolbook, was a riposte to controversial Little Red Schoolbook, which was published in the UK earlier this year. But whereas the original enjoins pupils to organise strikes and demonstrations, Richards’ version extols the virtues of obedience, patriotism and polished shoes.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
Amy Winehouse Showcases New Breasts On Strictly Come Dancing
AMY Winehouse has had a boob job. So says the Sun, which tells us that the boob job is “SECRET” because Amy didn’t tell the papers she was having it done.
Winehouse also failed to have her breasts enlarged in St Lucia, so failing to give tabloid hacks another reason to jet to the sunshine and comment on her bikini. Instead she had her boobs done in the secret exotica of London – where the Sun is, er, based.
And Winehouse had had her breasts enlarged, which may or may not be the “routine procedure” her spokesperson tells of.
Winehouse is “BACK TO STACKED”.
Wino’s new breasts retail at £35k, For that you get a hospital stay, two 32D-cup bags and recovery time, with discounts for anyone bringing their own anaesthetics.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jack Tweed’s Suicide Watch With Jade Goody
JACK Tweed says he wants to kill himself. In “JACK: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF”, the News of The World places Mr Jade Goody on suicide watch – “nor death shall us part”.
Beneath a picture of Tweed, readers are told:
QUIET NIGHT IN: Prison beans and orange squash is far from Jack Tweed’s usual Champagne style
One would venture that Tweed is sipping on “prison orange squash”. But we should not interrupt the facts as Jack’s mum, Mary Tweed, tells her story to the tabloids, and so – finally! – welcomes a bona fide outlet of Jade Goody Industries.
THE distraught mum of rape charge widower Jack Tweed told yesterday of her torment at seeing her “baby” in prison and hearing him threaten to take his own life.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 27th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Amy Winehouse Sinks Her Teeth Into ‘Justin Timberlake’, Pictures
AMY Winehouse is back in London and back doing what she does best. No, not making records. Smoking a fag, getting photographed and being annoyed.
Amy is pictured with Tyler James. Who he? Why, in 2002, The Face magazine was billing Tyler as “the British answer to Justin Timberlake”. He turns out to be the British answer to the question uttered by showbiz reporters this morning: “Who the **** is that with Wino?”
The press round-up:
* “After having two teeth out at the dentist (an irrelevent detail, but one that amused us) [sic], Amy and old flame/old friend Tyler James had three separate dinners (one was at Pizza Express, and we bet those doughballs played havoc with that dental work) and then went to a jazz club (nice. Which is a reference you won’t get if you’re under 25)” – 3am Girls
To the club, nicely!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Susan Boyle Fakes It And Robbie Williams Fears
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle’s a TV fake on , Elaine Paige recalls, The Beatles are the Four Susan Boyles and Robbie Williams foresees a nervous breakdown…
The Daily Star brings the shocking news: “Susan’s live gig a fake.”
As Anorak already reported, Susan Boyle did not sing live at the final of America’s Got Talent. Boyle sang her wrong-speed version of Wild Horses the day before the show.
She’s not a fake because she was not introduced as singing live. It was just that TeeVee, that most mendacious of media, did nto discourage viewers from believing that she was.
Producers then blended her performance into the actual show, making it appear that she was singing live. The 48-year-old spinster proved a huge hit with 45 million Americans.
Hold on a mo? In highligint the fakeries of the TV game, the daily Star has upped Susan Boyle’s fan club from 25 million to 45million. Top that TV!
Anyhow, how gtreat was Susan!
TVNZ: “Susan Boyle outshone by Shakira”
HuffPo: “She wasn’t even a competitor on the show, but Susan Boyle arguably stole the finale of “America’s Got Talent” Wednesday night when she made her US television singing debut.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 18th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts | Comments (3)
Mischa Barton Suffers From A ‘Dry Socket’
TIRED and emotional star Mischa Barton has blamed her summer slurring and hospitalisation in a psychiatric ward on her wisdom teeth, or more specifically, her lack of them.
Mischa calls it a “perfect storm”, picking up on a phrase that has gathered momentum in recent times:
A perfect storm can be used to describe anything: breathing; sports; women; apocalypse; traffic but not weather:
Meteorologists Say ‘Perfect Storm’ Not So Perfect
Barton goes on:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
