Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 54

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

The work of Lego artist Nathan Sawaya in 17 photos

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THE  Art of the Brick is Nathan Sawaya’s show at  Discovery Times Square museum. (That’s him in the above photo.) It is “the world’s biggest and most elaborate display of LEGO art ever and will feature brand-new, never-before-seen pieces”. If you can make a living from the toys of your youth, you’ve done something right…

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Posted: 15th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Fast food rebels hail the Wendy’s worker who drank the vanilla frosty straight from the teet

ALL hail the Wendy’s worker who sucked the sweet honey of Frosty vanilla ice cream straight from the teet.

And then Wendy’s sacked him:

@KaEs09 @edwinelchilakil Unacceptable. The person in this photo is no longer at this Wendy’s. We will be reinforcing proper procedures.

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Posted: 14th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Listen to this call of a man calling 999 to tell police his prostitute is a breach of the Sale of Goods Act (Audio)

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THIS is the audio of a man calleng the West Midlands Police on 999 to say that the prostitue he’s hired is in breach of the Sale of Goods Act. He says her advert overstated her good looks.

The Sale of Goods Act 1979 gives consumers legal rights, stipulating goods which are sold must be of satisfactory quality, be fit for purpose and must match the seller’s description.

Sale by description.

13. 1 – Where there is a contract for the sale of goods by description, there is an implied [F9term] that the goods will correspond with the description.

14 . 2 – Where the seller sells goods in the course of a business, there is an implied term that the goods supplied under the contract are of satisfactory quality.

You can read the entire law here.

Posted: 13th, June 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Brighton landlord offers free rent to any lodger who can wear a ‘realistic walrus costume’

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FINDING the right flatmate can be tricky. Take this advert spotted on Gumtree:

Lodger required, Brighton
Room type
Double
Available to couples
No
Date available
11/06/13
Property type
House
Seller type
Private

Hello, I am looking for a lodger in my house. I have had a long and interesting life and have now chosen Brighton as a location for my retirement. Among the many things I have done in my life is to spend three years alone on St. Lawrence Island. These were perhaps the most intense and fascinating years of my life, and I was kept in companionship with a walrus whom I named Gregory. Never have I had such a fulfilling friendship with anyone, human or otherwise, and upon leaving the island I was heartbroken for months. I now find myself in a large house over looking Queens Park and am keen to get a lodger. This is a position I am prepared to offer for free (eg: no rent payable) on the fulfillment of some conditions. I have, over the last few months, been constructing a realistic walrus costume, which should fit most people of average proportions, and allow for full and easy movement in character. To take on the position as my lodger you must be prepared to wear the walrus suit for approximately two hours each day (in practice, this is not two hours every day – I merely state it here so you are able to have a clear idea of the workload). Whilst in the walrus costume you must be a walrus – there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus – I believe there aer recordings available on the web – to me, the voice is the most natural thing I have ever heard. Other duties will involve catching and eating the fish and crabs that I will occasionally throw to you whilst you are being the walrus. With the exception of this, you will be free to do whatever you choose, and will have a spacious double room, complete run of the house (with the exception of my bedroom and my workshop), and use of all facilities within. I am a considerate person to share a house with, and other than playing the accordion my tastes are easy to accomodate.

Due to the nature of this position I will need to audition all applicants before agreeing to take the chosen candidate on as a lodger. Please contact me if you have any questions.

Spotter: TheAfterWord

Posted: 13th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Pink Flamingo couple wear matching clothes for 35 years (photos)

**FILE** Don Featherstone, creator of the original pink flamingo, sits surrounded by many of the plastic creatures in this file photo taken June 25, 1998, at Union Products, Inc., in Leominster, Mass., An upstate New York manufacturer said Thursday, May 31, 2007, that he has bought the copyright and plastic molds to restart production of the Featherstone-designed flamingo, which ceased after the demise of the Leominster, Mass.-based manufacturer in fall of 2006. (AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, File)

LOVE is… Donald Featherstone and his wife Nancy have been wearing matching outfits for the past 35 years.

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Posted: 12th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


A User’s Guide to Neglectful Parenting – the Shredded Wheat saga

GUY Delisle, a French Canadian, has written A User’s Guide to Neglectful Parenting. In this extract Delisle and his daughter chat about a box of Shredded Wheat:

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Posted: 12th, June 2013 | In: Books | Comment


The Choir Boy Grooming Room and gym opens in Scotland

Choir boys of the Queen's Chapel in procession to the church of Marlborough House in London.

Choir boys of the Queen’s Chapel in procession to the church of Marlborough House in London.

WHY did Stephen Wilson name his garage gymnasium at East Calder, West Lothian, the Choir Boy Grooming Room? Is he hoping to attract the key and as-yet-untapped clerical keep-fit market? Is the venue more Jim Savile than gym fit?

Neighbours are not happy at the naming and the sign he put up. They called the police.

But Mr Wilson says it’s all a joke:

“I came up with the name because choir boys are seen as quite weak, and grooming, although nowadays is seen as sexual and associated with paedophiles, is also a training term meaning preparing your body and mind for something. I just put a different slant on the name.”

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Posted: 12th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Dunkin Donuts bigot Taylor Chapman becomes a hero of US lawyers (video)

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RIGHT now a US donuts Rights lawyer is drawing up litigation to sue the arse off Dunkin’ Donuts for breach of glaze. The woman making this video of herself insulting employees of a Florida Dunkin’ Donuts store might look like a lazy, thick, bigoted, pathetic, delusional, self-important arsehat. But in reality she’s just pushing the envelope of the US legal profession.

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Posted: 11th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Terrible tributes: The R Kelly Apron

THIS fathers day get the dad who does an R. Kelly apron, available via Etsy for $25. (The “I Believe I Can Fry” singer will not urinate on any flambe.)

If you see any terrible tributes, please let us know.

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Spotter:The World’s Best Ever

 

Posted: 11th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment


Huxley vs. Orwell – the comic inspired by Neil Postman’s Amusing Ourselves to Death

HUXLEY vs. Orwell: the comic, by Stuart McMillen adapts Neil Postman’s Amusing Ourselves to Death argument thaAldous Huxley’s vision of the future in Brave New World was more prescient than George Orwell in 1984:

huxley-orwell-amusing-ourselves-to-death

 

 

 

Spotter

Posted: 10th, June 2013 | In: Books, Key Posts | Comment


Donald Trump honoured that his Aberdeen golf complex won six star Donald Trump golf complex award

Donald Trump is pictured holding an award for The Best Golf Course Worldwide from The American Academy of Hospitality Sciences at the Trump International Golf Links, at his Aberdeenshire golf resort, in Scotland.

HIRSUTE tycoon Donald Trump’s Scottish golf course is the world’s best. The American Academy of Hospitality Sciences has awarded Trump’s Aberdeen course its Six Star Diamond Award.

Back in May, AAHS awarded a “SIX STAR DIAMOND AWARD” to the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster in New Jersey for the third consecutive year.

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Posted: 10th, June 2013 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment


How to pull Christina Hendricks: drink lots of Scotch

HOW the PR industry works. Mad Men siren Christina Hendricks is in coversation with Esquire. She has previously noted: “I love it when a man orders Scotch. Most women find it a big turn-on.”

ESQ: Are you an actual Scotch drinker?

CH: I am, I am. That’s how the whole thing came about with Johnnie Walker. I had done an interview with you guys and they asked me what a man should drink, and I said Scotch. I was sort of intrigued by it years ago. I’d slowly over the years order myself one. And now that I’ve been working with Johnnie Walker, I’ve learned more about it. I have a whole new appreciation for it and much more knowledge about it. I think it’s always more fun when you really know a lot about what it is, whether it’s what you’re cooking, or your wine, or Scotch.

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Posted: 7th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment


Man who placed brown pube in his curry to avoid paying jailed

pube curry plate

LEE Tyers was recorded by a camera spicing his curry with his public hairs. Mr Tyers, 40, was dining in Jamals Indian Restaurant, Middlesbrough, when he commended a staff member’s attention to the pubes in what remained of his lamb bhuna.

One problem. As the eatery’s Jamal Chowdhury indicated, the pube was brown and all the staff had natural black hair. The collars and cuffs did not match. Mr Tyers left without setting the bill. Mr Chowdary showed police the CCTV footage.

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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Cheerios advert brings out the racists

cheerio racist

BIZARRELY, in 2013, there are people who still define other humans by the colour of their skin. All white people are ruthless and can’t dance, all black people are criminals, all yellow people are karate experts and all brown people want to blow up planes. Apart from the white people who are poor and live in Russia, the black people who are pillars of society, the yellow people who would like to point out they’re not actually yellow and the brown people who are generally lumped together because they don’t fit in the other categories.

And everyone forgot about the Native and South Americans.

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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat

Karl Largefeld cat

Karl Largefeld cat

FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.

The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.

“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.

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Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment


Is Asda selling carrots to Welsh Morons?

NO! Asda is not calling its customers morons. ‘Moron’ is the Welsh word for carrots. 

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Spotter: Robert Mills

Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


French designer creates hipster statues

FRENCH designer Alexis Persani has dressed statues as hipsters. I see your shop window mannequin and raise you a marble God:

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hipster statues 1

hipster statues

Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


The creepiest TV adverts of all time

SCARY, creepy adverts stick in the mind. This means they must be working.

Chuck in children and the fear factor is cranked up:

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Posted: 5th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment


Face tattoos – the big collection of regretful ink

SO. You saw someone with a face tattoo and thought they looked great. Hey, if Ryan Gosling, the swooniest Hollywood star has one, why not you?

Gosling got his face decorated with a dagger dripping blood. He felt it would help him get into character for a film part. He then reviewed his decision:

“I felt a lot of shame for having gone too far and for making a decision that was careless… I was so ashamed that that shame lived with me on set, as I had to wear that stuff around.”

Still want one? We’ve combed the web for examples of face tattoos.

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tattoo

tattoo

face tats 28 face tats 27 face tats 25 face tats 23 face tats 21 face tats 20 face tats 19 face tats 18 face tats 17 face tats 16 face tats 13 face tats 12 face tats 10 face tats 9 face tats 8 face tats 7 face tats 6 face tats 5 face tats 4 face tats 3 face tats 2 face tats Gosling_web(1) dumb 50 Tribal-Face-Tattoo-Pattern-for-Old-Women-2011-520x693 lil-wayne-face-tattoo face-tattoos-7 faces face-tattoos-0 face-tattoo-inset-jpg_154210 winkelman-face-tattoo face-tattoo joker-face-tattoo1 Most Unusual And Weird Face Tattoos-14-1295320001 Face_tattoo face-tattoos-11 face-tattoo-bad-removal download 50-craziest-face-tattoos-ever--large-msg-134602210166 Barnum-one t1_-face-tattoo Fun-FACE-TATTOO-LESYA-628 images face-tattoos-5

A Belgian teenager who saw stars when she woke up at a tattoo parlour to find 56 stars on her face is suing a tattooist for 10,000 Euros damages. Kimberley Vlaminck, 18, claims tattooist Rouslan Toumaniantz spoke such bad English and French that he misunderstood her at the Tattoo Boy studio in Courtrai, Belgium. She said the lost in translation error left her scarred for life after he tattooed her with an incredible 56 stars. Kimberley added her life had been "ruined" by the artwork. She said: "I can't go out on the street now without people looking at me." She now wants compensation to undergo laser treatment to get them off, but even after the treatment - that will cost upwards of 10,000 Euros, she is still likely to be left with scars for life. She claims she fell asleep while tattooist Rouslan Toumaniantz went to work. "It is horrible," sobbed Kimberley.  "He has turned me into a freak." The tattoo artist meanwhile claims the teenager "got what she wanted" - and only complained when her dad complained and her boyfriend dumped her.

mad_dog_deon_skull_tattoo

Posted: 5th, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


1974 T-shirt slogans: ‘I Dreamt I was Raped by Mick Jagger in my David Bowie T-shirt’

In 1974, Lonely Ladies T-shirts presented “I Dreamt I was Raped by Mick Jagger in my David Bowie T-shirt”. Why was The Rolling Stones frontman  wearing his alleged victim’s David Bowie T-shirt? And lest you think this was perverted, the San Francisco outfit let prospective rape victims know that their dream rapist could also be dressed as Elvis, Judy Garland or Boby Dylan…

bowiw jagger

 

 

 

Posted: 1st, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, Flashback | Comment


Artist turns CCTV images into paintings

Pool_Miami_Beach CCTV

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Posted: 1st, June 2013 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment


Extracts from Joanna Rohrback’s Prancercise (with inner horse video)

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IN 1989, we, like you, were getting fit with Joanna Rohrback’s Prancercise. As she says:

This video shows the 4 modes of Prancercise.You can visit me at www.prancercise.com where you can learn more about Prancercise: “A springy,rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse’s gait and is ideally induced by elation.” copyright 1989, taken from my book Prancercise:The Art of Physical and Spiritual Excellence, now available to the public for the first time!

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Posted: 31st, May 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Royal College of Art graduate fashion show 2013 (photos)

GOOD news! Nice Yiddisher boys with braces are on trend at the Royal College of Art graduate fashion show, London.

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A model wears designs by Lucie Vincini.

 

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Porcupine faces by Maiko Takeda

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Posted: 31st, May 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment