Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 53

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Good cops in bad t-shirts – when police revel in violence

THE police in the US of A are armed. They are able to dispense ultimate justice at the flick of a trigger finger. This makes them powerful. It should make them cautious and respctful of their badge. However, it can also make them gung-ho, threatening, bellicose and militaristic.

Radley Balko is author of the forthcoming book, Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America’s Police Forces. He’s compiled examples of slogan-heavy T-shirts sold and won by police officers. These include  T-shirts that see men as quarry and children as animals:

 

An anonymous public defender sent Gothamist this photo of an NYPD warrant squad officer wearing a t-shirt with a pretty quote from Ernest Hemingway:

An anonymous public defender sent Gothamist this photo of an NYPD warrant squad officer wearing a t-shirt with a pretty quote from Ernest Hemingway.

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Posted: 1st, July 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Dads on Roller Coasters – the best ones

dad roller coaster

 

SUMMER is here. Time, then, to head to the god-forsaken amusement park and ride The One. You’re an adult, a grown man, you do not want to go on. You’re adamant. No way. But your daughter asks so nicely. If you don’t go, she can’t go. C’mon daaaaaad. C’mon. It’ll be fun. So. You give in. And so begins the horror.

These are the worlds’s greatest / most easily led / softest / sickest dads on rolere coasters:

 

Never again Grace

 

Did you finish the popcorn, dad? 

 

I can’t breath (ha-ha!)

 

The Kid Knows Best (and his therapist agrees)

Posted: 1st, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The 20 worst and most worrying dolls for sale on Etsy

THE blurb for each item sold on the online Etsy bazaar asks at the end: “Have any questions? Contact the shop owner.” After compiling this list of the creepiest, most wrong, oddest, weirdest  and worrying dolls for sale of Etsy, we’re a little unsure where to begin. Perhaps, the questions should be,  ‘Did your mother love you?; ‘Did your mother love you too much’; ‘Are you allaoewed near sharp objects?’ and ‘That you, Linus Van Pelt?’

scary doll

 

spock doll

scary doll

pooh

scary doll

 

 

monkey doll

lady gaga

infant

indian doll

 

 

WTF

 

 

 

dolls 1

 

childbirth doll

scary doll

broken doll

beyonce doll

bette davis doll

barbie and tarzan

 

scary doll etsy 1 scary doll etsy

 

 

Posted: 30th, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Great ads: the Smart Fortwo is a hit with your Mercedes (literally)

smart car, smart fortwo

AD of the day: the Smart car is not pretending to be anything else. And for added value, its drives into the parked Mercedes:

Posted: 28th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Pregnant women warned drinking wine makes your baby develop into a Daily Mail reader

pregnant-wine

PHEW! Cancel the opiates and Prozac. The Daily Mail has news on pregnant women and stress relief:

Mums-to-be ‘CAN have a glass of wine a day without harming their child’s development’

Who gave them permission?

Having a glass of wine a day during pregnancy may not harm the child’s development, claim researchers. A large new study says the children of mothers who drank ‘moderately’ in pregnancy actually grew up to have better balance than those who abstained.

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Posted: 28th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


All hail the coat made from human chest hair (Chelsea FC launch new fashion range)

chest-hair-coat

HEY fashionistas! Want a unique piece of clothing that will make everyone else green? Okay, they might go green with nausea rather than envy, but that’s the price of fashion right?

Let us introduce to you, a fur coat made completely of male chest hair!

And how much will this set you back? A glorious £2,499! That’s because it is a limited edition number, commissioned by dairy company Arla (in conjunction with the launch of the male-targeted chocolate milk Wing-co) and one can only assume the humans used for the fur were slaughtered in a huge warehouse like screaming piglets.

Or maybe this is what happens to all the hair shaved and plucked from Chelsea and Manchester United footballers? 

Each fur coat comprises around one million hairs.

A Wing-co spokesperson said:

“We commissioned the Man-Fur Coat as a wake-up call for the nation’s gents. [The coat is] a way to encourage them to readopt the values of assured ‘men’s men’ from yesteryear who would laugh nonchalantly in the face of adversity and be proud of their abundant manliness.”

Or, they could just grow a beard.

Posted: 27th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


Gifs: 17 water slide lols

SUMMER’S here. Toss the daddy long legs from the dusty paddling pool. Grease over the slippery sliders. And head along to the Aqua Park, taking care to avoid the rusty nails. What could go wrong?


sliding gifs

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Posted: 26th, June 2013 | In: Gifs, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


The K-tel Bigfoot commercial

K-tel big foot

K-TEL didn’t just make K-Tel Record Selector, non-stick frying pans and fight with Ronco for your hard-earned pennies. It made the  “Bigfoot”, as seen in this Bigfoot commercial. How many children were shot by Big Game hunters hoping they’d caught the Sasquatch can only be guessed at. But let’s not rush to judgement. It was a different era back then, when children went outdoors and big feet meant big fun…

Posted: 25th, June 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


Is that a young Lindsay Lohan advertising the perils of poo eating for Bristol Council?

bristol child poo

CAN a child’s work ruin the adult’s career?

Dennis Waterman did not let a boyhood advertising Rowntree’s Fruit Gums hold him back from a successful TV career. Little Dennis sang:

Don’t forget my fruit gums, Mum,
I just love those fruit gums, Mum,
Thruppence buys a tube of fruit gums,
Gums that last all day.
Bring me home some fruit gums, Mum,
All my pals love fruit gums, Mum,
Rowntree’s fruit gums last the longest,
That’s why we all say:
They’re smashing! They’re Rowntree’s!

The young Dakota Fanning shilled for Tide, dribbling food down her pink dress. She too would go on to achieve showbiz fame.

A past promoting the GAF Viewmaster did Jodie Foster no harm. She went on to become an A-list Hollywood stalwart.

So there is hope, then, for the child seen eating dog poo in the above advert created for Bristol Council. We could be looking at the next Lindsay Lohan…

Posted: 24th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Bakery puts cat on student’s head

cat head

GRADUATION should be one of the proudest days of your life, but one student found it to be one of the most surreal after a baker got all mixed up when making a celebratory cake.

Instead of the usual cap, the young woman found a picture of her with a cat on her head!

When Laura Gambrel graduated from Indiana University last month, her beamingly proud mother – Carol – decided to order a nice well-done cake.

She instructed the baker to include a congratulatory message and a graduation cap. However, when she went to collect the cake, she was greeted by her daughter wearing a crude feline on her bonce.

“My mom ordered a graduation cake with a cap drawn on,’ the graduate posted on Reddit along with a picture of the cake. ‘I guess they misheard.”

“When my mom got to the store and started laughing they tried to wipe off the cat and put on a plastic cap, but she told them to keep it.”

Her mother added: “It was one of those young kids behind the counter and he seemed a little distracted with someone else ordering a cake a foot away from us.”

“I can only image them doing it and thinking I was going to vet school or something.”

Posted: 24th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


In photos – creative dog grooming competition goes nuts

IN Hershey, Pennsylvania, dog groomers have been showcasing their creations. Cats will laugh:

dog grooming

 

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Posted: 23rd, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Idaho patriots want to shoot Muslims with their new pig-coated bullets

pig ammo

IDAHO creatives upset at the Islamic cultural center opening near Ground Zero, New York City, have sought revenge by inventing pork-laced bullets to shoot Muslims with.

South Fork Industries, aka South Pork Industries, of Dalton Gardens, Idaho, says its Jihawg Ammo acts as a “defensive deterrent to those who violently act in the name of Islam.”

Beneath the headline “PEACE THROUGH PORK!”, the company writes:

In the fall of 2010, patriots from Idaho County, Idaho sat around a campfire enjoying an adult beverage. The discussion turned to concern and disgust that a mosque was being built at ground zero. Everyone in attendance agreed that freedom of religion is paramount for all peoples of Earth but this showed poor taste and had a sense of “rubbing our noses” into 9/11 tragedy. The discussion turned toward possible solutions to stop such a great insult.

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Posted: 22nd, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


The Guardian aims to be all things to all idiots

THE Guardian loses lots of money. It opened a coffee shop to much mocking laughter. It lost a small fortune on an open day. It has an interesting attitude to tax. So. Can the paper that celebrated the death of the profitable News of the World survive? Grey Cardigan writes on The Spin Alley:

I really don’t like the Guardian, or the sinister organisation that runs it. Not content with wrecking the entire publishing industry by giving away all their content for free – easy to do when you’re protected from dirty words like profit – they’re now just taking the piss by playing with Lego, opening a coffee shop and running courses for people who want to be food bloggers. Of course, that’s just what the world needs – more fucking food bloggers. Though if you’re daft enough to give the Guardian £400 just to learn how to take pictures of your dinner, you probably sincerely believe that the world is waiting with bated breath for your clichéd culinary crap-spittle.”

Do any of you buy the Guardian? Why do you?

Posted: 22nd, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)


John Steinbeck on the male beard versus the female beard

**FILE** This 1965 file photo shows author John Steinbeck winner of the 1962 Nobel Prize for literature. A son and a granddaughter Steinbeck hold the publishing rights to 10 of his early works, including "The Grapes of Wrath" and "Of Mice and Men," a federal judge has ruled, turning away a publishing house and others who claimed the rights. U.S. District Judge Richard Owen said in a 10-page order dated Thursday that the rights properly belong to the author's son, Thomas Steinbeck, and granddaughter Blake Smyle. (AP Photo/File)

JOHN Steinbeck on the beard:

I cultivate this beard not for the usual given reasons of skin trouble or pain of shaving, nor for the secret purpose of covering a weak chin, but as pure unblushing decoration, much as a peacock finds pleasure in his tail. And finally, in our time a beard is the one thing that a woman cannot do better than a man, or if she can her success is assured only in a circus,” – John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley.

Photo: This 1965 file photo shows author John Steinbeck winner of the 1962 Nobel Prize for literature. 

 

Posted: 21st, June 2013 | In: Books, Flashback | Comment


The iPotty will teach your child to poop digitally

iPotty

SIGNS that the economy is rebounding:  the CTA Digital 2-in-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad:

Potty training can be a challenge for even the most patient parents and one of the biggest hurdles is gaining the child’s interest and then keeping their attention long enough to properly potty train. That’s where the iPotty comes in with its unique holder for the iPad. Many young children already love playing with their parents’ iPad, and now they can safely do so with the iPotty. It provides a fun and comfortable place to sit, while learning how to use the potty and engaging with apps.

iCrap.

iPotty 2

Posted: 21st, June 2013 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comments (2)


Racism in the 1930s: Darkie toothpaste

IN 1933, Taiwan toothpaste makers the Hawley & Hazel Chemical Company created Darkie toothpaste. It was to become Darlie.

What the adverts didn’t reveal was that before experimenting with Darkie, the man on the box was whiter than a Klu Klux Klansman’s bikini line.

darkie toothpaste

More branded racism here.

 

Spotter: Collectors Weekly

Posted: 20th, June 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


New York City’s smallest museum

new york museum small brochure 1

NEW York City’s smallest museum is not the collection of crap in your jacket pocket. The world’s smallest museum is Museum, a small space between Franklin St & White St in New York City. What you  see is “absurdity or the beauty in the everyday”.

While it’s only open 16 hours a week, during the day on Saturdays and Sundays, the museum’s contents are viewable 24/7, lit and sealed by glass doors.

Passers-by are encouraged to call a toll-free number to learn about the 15 collections, comprising 200 objects, inside, including a series of Disney-themed bulletproof backpacks; U.S. paper money and coins so mutilated the Fed has deemed them unfit for currency, gathered by artist and writer Harley Spiller, a.k.a. Inspector Collector; a selection of objects from a fake Mars excavation; and personal items fabricated by prisoners, such as dice made out of bread, collected by multimedia artist Baron Von Fancy. Museum also offers several unique ways to experience the world: You can compare industrial designer Tucker Viemeister’s collection of toothpaste tubes from all over the map, or potato chip bags from various countries (collected by an eighth-grade class), as well as a globetrotting fake vomit collection. And that’s just the beginning.

Collectors Weekly talked with one of the museum’s curators:

In the current season, there’s a collection of toothpaste tubes from around the world. There’s a collection of mutilated U.S. currencies, money that’s counterfeit or real money that’s been scrawled on. There’s a collection from Alvin Goldstein, who was the founder and editor of Screw magazine, who shared with us personal belongings that have stayed with him throughout the narrative of his life. There’s a collection of Disney-themed children’s bulletproof backpacks. They’re things that touch upon something that’s happening in society, things that comment on where we’re at and how we’re thinking and what we’re doing

The picture above is of toothpaste tubes:

In addition to the odd or anachronistic thingamajigs that form this micromuseum’s “permanent collection,” a series of arty New Yorkers have lent their own weird stuff. The industrial designer Tucker Viemeister shares his amusing collection of toothpaste tubes from around the world, while the artist Leah Singer reveals the strange things she found on copy machines in New York City in the 1980s or thereabouts, including one pamphlet titled “The Chronic Masturbator’s To-Do List.”

View the museum’s brochure.

 

Posted: 20th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Photos from Anastassia Elias’ book of toilet roll sculptures

IN the style of the immortal words of  Sonny LaTierri, “Let’s hear it for the toilet roll!” Anastassia Elias makes tunnel art from toilet paper tubes. Her new book Rouleaux features photos of 67 works with toilet roll tubes. Here are a few:

rouleaux toilet roll

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Posted: 20th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The 21 most hilarious outfits from Men’s Fashion Week – London Summer 2013

MENS’s Fashion gives until the laughter hurts our ears. We went to London Fashion week to see the men wearing what all the cool kids will be sporting soon:

A model on the catwalk at the Nasir Hazhar fashion show, held at the Victoria House venue during London Collections: Men.

A model on the catwalk at the Nasir Hazhar fashion show, held at the Victoria House venue during London Collections: Men.

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Posted: 20th, June 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts | Comment


Cheltenham shopping centre opens up range of dull fake shops – photos

THE High Street is dying. It’s victim of restructuring. But until it can be redesigned to make better use of space and local retailers and suppliers who can’t afford exorbitant rates set before the internet kicked in, the high street will continues to feature empty units.

But why not pretend they’re real shops? At Coronation Square shopping centre in Hester’s Way, Cheltenham, the owners of a struggling shopping centre have been filling empty lots with fake shops. They are remarkably unimaginative. Why not have a WMD retailer, a purveyor of stains that look like Jesus Christ or a shop selling cats that look like Hitler?

The internet is winning. The old high street needs to readjust:

The 'Hair Creative' outlet at Coronation Square shopping centre in Hester's Way, Cheltenham as the owners of a struggling shopping centre have given it a new lease of life, by filling empty lots with fake shops.

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Posted: 19th, June 2013 | In: Money, The Consumer | Comment


China teens wear Kardashian legs to deter perverts

HOW do you deter a Chinese pervert? No, not a question to Roy Chubby Brown’s audience, rather one posed to millions of women on Weibo (China’s Twitter). Well, the answer is to dress up like pre-depilated Kim Kardashian. Los Angeles, the city that gave Basildon the tattoo sleeves, now gives Beijing the hairy leg:

“Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out.”

Of course, this might just be Prince William showing off his plucked feet. The web can be full of lies. It’s hard to know what to believe.

And what about the perverts who get turned on by well-carpeted young girls? Catering for perverts is a hazardous business. Whatever you do, someone is going to get excited…

hairy legs

 

Spotter: Laughing Squid 

Posted: 19th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment (1)


For sale: This Game of Thrones suit of armour for your guinea pig

For sale: This Game of Thrones suit of armour for your guinea pig.

game of thrones guinea pigs

 

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Posted: 17th, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


The PartyFowl Diaper Harness for full-grown pet Ducks, Geese, Chickens, and other Poultry

FIANLLY! “The PartyFowl *Made-To-Order* Diaper Harness for full-grown ADULT pet Ducks, Geese, Chickens, and other Poultry.” Yours for £25 each:

ThePartyFowl

 

 

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Posted: 16th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment