Anorak

The Consumer | Anorak - Part 53

The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Desperate PR: Man decaptiated at football match makes you money

DESPERATE PR of the day: YOU can make money from a man being beheaded at a football match:

Hey****,

Take advantage of this great AD REVENUE generating opportunity by using Newsy’s take on this weekend’s beheading at a Brazilian soccer match, which is just one of several incidents that have some asking if Brazil is ready to host the World Cup. You can access and embed the video by visiting here and registering Who Ate All the Pies with an account. Ad revenue opportunities are available as we’ll serve pre-roll across the content and split revenue that is generated.

Thanks

Classy.

Posted: 10th, July 2013 | In: Sports, The Consumer | Comment


Objects of desire: the goth colouring book

OBJECTS of desire presents The Goth Colouring Book:

goth colouring book

 

Spotter: MK

Posted: 6th, July 2013 | In: Books | Comment


In 1935 Ernest Hemingway wrote this letter in praise of ‘the bottle’

IN 1935, Ernest Hemingway wrote to Ivan Kashkin, a Russian translator and critic,. The Post Post Script is memorable:

hemingway drink

“P.P.S. Don’t you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure. When you work hard all day with your head and know you must work again the next day what else can change your ideas and make them run on a different plane like whisky? When you are cold and wet what else can warm you? Before an attack who can say anything that gives you the momentary well being that rum does? I would as soon not eat at night as not to have red wine and water. The only time it isn’t good for you is when you write or when you fight. Yuu have to do that cold. But it always helps my shooting. Modern life, too, is often a mechanical oppression and liquor is the only mechanical relief. Let me know if my books make any money and will come to Moscow and we will find somebody that drinks and drink my royalties up to end the mechanical oppression.”

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Posted: 5th, July 2013 | In: Books, Flashback | Comment


Family lock dad’s head in helmet cage to stop him smoking

smoking cage

 

ONCE they put the smokers in a room, it would not be long before the put them in cages. You’re looking at pictures of 42-year-old İbrahim Yücel.

İbrahim lives with his family in Kütahya, Turkey.  He want sto live with them for as long as possible. He’s worried what smoking two packs a day is doing to his health. He wants to quit. So. He’s taken to wearing a metal cage on his head. It’s held in place by two locks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, July 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Teacher Dale Irby wears same outfit to school for 40 years

Retired gym teacher Dale Irby

DALE Irby is the gym teacher who found a look that worked and went with it. From his first yearbook photo in 1973 at Prestonwood Elementary school, Texas, to 2013, Mr Irby wore the same outfit.

To begin with it was an accident. In the 1970s, brown was pretty much the only colour a man was permitted to wear. In 1973, Mr Irby wore his ubiquitous brown tank top over a light brown shirt for the school photo. In 1974, he was still wearing it for the next snapshot.

His wife  noticed. She dared him to wear the same outfit every year. For one thing it would funny. For another, it would keep his weight down.

It became a theme.

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Posted: 3rd, July 2013 | In: Fashion, Reviews | Comment (1)


Man sells coffin. One problem – it has a skeleton in it

coffin  odd craigslist

SELLING a coffin is problematic at the best of times. Imagine your glee when someone finally takes you up on the offer, but you’re a dumbass and crucially, you forget to take the skeleton out of it.

Dave Burgstrum, from Iowa, put the creepy item on Craigslist for $12,000 in a bid to raise money for property tax money for the Order of Odd Fellows (more on those guys, here).

Police were alerted to the advertisement and seized the coffin and body, deeming the sale illegal.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, July 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


The Face Slimmer turns your mouth into a potty

face slimmer

GREAT and not-at-all -useless products for women presents the Potty Mouth Face Slimmer. How does the lip job work?

To get and maintain the perfect visage, you don’t need the cosmetic surgeon’s knife. All you need is a mouthpiece. Yes, the Face Slimmer is a simple solution to the timeless problem of how to give sagging facial skin and muscles that much-needed daily lift. Just three minutes per day is all you need; pop in the mold and then make mouth movements. The makers recommend you say vowel sounds out loud over and over again, producing regular and methodical exercises that will strength the twelve facial expression muscles in a comprehensive way.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…..

Buy it here. They did.

Spotter: Today I Learned Something New, Dangerous Minds

Posted: 2nd, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Woman on period gets eaten by shark – blames leaky tampon

russian tampax advert shark

RUSSIAN tampax tampon advert of the day:

The World’s Worst Tampon Ads are here.

Posted: 2nd, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Nail salon pedicurist refuses to see fat woman’s feet

pedicure fat

YOU marvelled at the woman too fat to tan. Now read about the woman too fat for a pedicure.

To Hot Springs, Arkansas, where Rachel Bascue has been refused a pedicure at Regal Nails Salon because of her size.

One day earlier, Rachel’s mother had also been refused a pedicure at that salon for the same reason.

This time, however, Rachel taped the visit. We hear a staff member tell her:

 “The chair under 250. You cannot fit.”

Another tells her:

I’ve tried to tell you too many times. It’s not fit for you. It’s dangerous. It is for your own benefit.”

Ms Bascue said she suffered emotional abuse:

“I have been talked about and made fun of, but this is the first time I was made to feel like a freak.”

The nail salon did not point out that she was wearing two different shoes…


YouTube link.

Posted: 2nd, July 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Good cops in bad t-shirts – when police revel in violence

THE police in the US of A are armed. They are able to dispense ultimate justice at the flick of a trigger finger. This makes them powerful. It should make them cautious and respctful of their badge. However, it can also make them gung-ho, threatening, bellicose and militaristic.

Radley Balko is author of the forthcoming book, Rise of the Warrior Cop: The Militarization of America’s Police Forces. He’s compiled examples of slogan-heavy T-shirts sold and won by police officers. These include  T-shirts that see men as quarry and children as animals:

 

An anonymous public defender sent Gothamist this photo of an NYPD warrant squad officer wearing a t-shirt with a pretty quote from Ernest Hemingway:

An anonymous public defender sent Gothamist this photo of an NYPD warrant squad officer wearing a t-shirt with a pretty quote from Ernest Hemingway.

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Posted: 1st, July 2013 | In: Fashion, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Dads on Roller Coasters – the best ones

dad roller coaster

 

SUMMER is here. Time, then, to head to the god-forsaken amusement park and ride The One. You’re an adult, a grown man, you do not want to go on. You’re adamant. No way. But your daughter asks so nicely. If you don’t go, she can’t go. C’mon daaaaaad. C’mon. It’ll be fun. So. You give in. And so begins the horror.

These are the worlds’s greatest / most easily led / softest / sickest dads on rolere coasters:

 

Never again Grace

 

Did you finish the popcorn, dad? 

 

I can’t breath (ha-ha!)

 

The Kid Knows Best (and his therapist agrees)

Posted: 1st, July 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


The 20 worst and most worrying dolls for sale on Etsy

THE blurb for each item sold on the online Etsy bazaar asks at the end: “Have any questions? Contact the shop owner.” After compiling this list of the creepiest, most wrong, oddest, weirdest  and worrying dolls for sale of Etsy, we’re a little unsure where to begin. Perhaps, the questions should be,  ‘Did your mother love you?; ‘Did your mother love you too much’; ‘Are you allaoewed near sharp objects?’ and ‘That you, Linus Van Pelt?’

scary doll

 

spock doll

scary doll

pooh

scary doll

 

 

monkey doll

lady gaga

infant

indian doll

 

 

WTF

 

 

 

dolls 1

 

childbirth doll

scary doll

broken doll

beyonce doll

bette davis doll

barbie and tarzan

 

scary doll etsy 1 scary doll etsy

 

 

Posted: 30th, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Great ads: the Smart Fortwo is a hit with your Mercedes (literally)

smart car, smart fortwo

AD of the day: the Smart car is not pretending to be anything else. And for added value, its drives into the parked Mercedes:

Posted: 28th, June 2013 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Pregnant women warned drinking wine makes your baby develop into a Daily Mail reader

pregnant-wine

PHEW! Cancel the opiates and Prozac. The Daily Mail has news on pregnant women and stress relief:

Mums-to-be ‘CAN have a glass of wine a day without harming their child’s development’

Who gave them permission?

Having a glass of wine a day during pregnancy may not harm the child’s development, claim researchers. A large new study says the children of mothers who drank ‘moderately’ in pregnancy actually grew up to have better balance than those who abstained.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 28th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


All hail the coat made from human chest hair (Chelsea FC launch new fashion range)

chest-hair-coat

HEY fashionistas! Want a unique piece of clothing that will make everyone else green? Okay, they might go green with nausea rather than envy, but that’s the price of fashion right?

Let us introduce to you, a fur coat made completely of male chest hair!

And how much will this set you back? A glorious £2,499! That’s because it is a limited edition number, commissioned by dairy company Arla (in conjunction with the launch of the male-targeted chocolate milk Wing-co) and one can only assume the humans used for the fur were slaughtered in a huge warehouse like screaming piglets.

Or maybe this is what happens to all the hair shaved and plucked from Chelsea and Manchester United footballers? 

Each fur coat comprises around one million hairs.

A Wing-co spokesperson said:

“We commissioned the Man-Fur Coat as a wake-up call for the nation’s gents. [The coat is] a way to encourage them to readopt the values of assured ‘men’s men’ from yesteryear who would laugh nonchalantly in the face of adversity and be proud of their abundant manliness.”

Or, they could just grow a beard.

Posted: 27th, June 2013 | In: Fashion | Comment


Gifs: 17 water slide lols

SUMMER’S here. Toss the daddy long legs from the dusty paddling pool. Grease over the slippery sliders. And head along to the Aqua Park, taking care to avoid the rusty nails. What could go wrong?


sliding gifs

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 26th, June 2013 | In: Gifs, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


The K-tel Bigfoot commercial

K-tel big foot

K-TEL didn’t just make K-Tel Record Selector, non-stick frying pans and fight with Ronco for your hard-earned pennies. It made the  “Bigfoot”, as seen in this Bigfoot commercial. How many children were shot by Big Game hunters hoping they’d caught the Sasquatch can only be guessed at. But let’s not rush to judgement. It was a different era back then, when children went outdoors and big feet meant big fun…

Posted: 25th, June 2013 | In: Flashback, The Consumer | Comment


Is that a young Lindsay Lohan advertising the perils of poo eating for Bristol Council?

bristol child poo

CAN a child’s work ruin the adult’s career?

Dennis Waterman did not let a boyhood advertising Rowntree’s Fruit Gums hold him back from a successful TV career. Little Dennis sang:

Don’t forget my fruit gums, Mum,
I just love those fruit gums, Mum,
Thruppence buys a tube of fruit gums,
Gums that last all day.
Bring me home some fruit gums, Mum,
All my pals love fruit gums, Mum,
Rowntree’s fruit gums last the longest,
That’s why we all say:
They’re smashing! They’re Rowntree’s!

The young Dakota Fanning shilled for Tide, dribbling food down her pink dress. She too would go on to achieve showbiz fame.

A past promoting the GAF Viewmaster did Jodie Foster no harm. She went on to become an A-list Hollywood stalwart.

So there is hope, then, for the child seen eating dog poo in the above advert created for Bristol Council. We could be looking at the next Lindsay Lohan…

Posted: 24th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Bakery puts cat on student’s head

cat head

GRADUATION should be one of the proudest days of your life, but one student found it to be one of the most surreal after a baker got all mixed up when making a celebratory cake.

Instead of the usual cap, the young woman found a picture of her with a cat on her head!

When Laura Gambrel graduated from Indiana University last month, her beamingly proud mother – Carol – decided to order a nice well-done cake.

She instructed the baker to include a congratulatory message and a graduation cap. However, when she went to collect the cake, she was greeted by her daughter wearing a crude feline on her bonce.

“My mom ordered a graduation cake with a cap drawn on,’ the graduate posted on Reddit along with a picture of the cake. ‘I guess they misheard.”

“When my mom got to the store and started laughing they tried to wipe off the cat and put on a plastic cap, but she told them to keep it.”

Her mother added: “It was one of those young kids behind the counter and he seemed a little distracted with someone else ordering a cake a foot away from us.”

“I can only image them doing it and thinking I was going to vet school or something.”

Posted: 24th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


In photos – creative dog grooming competition goes nuts

IN Hershey, Pennsylvania, dog groomers have been showcasing their creations. Cats will laugh:

dog grooming

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 23rd, June 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)


Idaho patriots want to shoot Muslims with their new pig-coated bullets

pig ammo

IDAHO creatives upset at the Islamic cultural center opening near Ground Zero, New York City, have sought revenge by inventing pork-laced bullets to shoot Muslims with.

South Fork Industries, aka South Pork Industries, of Dalton Gardens, Idaho, says its Jihawg Ammo acts as a “defensive deterrent to those who violently act in the name of Islam.”

Beneath the headline “PEACE THROUGH PORK!”, the company writes:

In the fall of 2010, patriots from Idaho County, Idaho sat around a campfire enjoying an adult beverage. The discussion turned to concern and disgust that a mosque was being built at ground zero. Everyone in attendance agreed that freedom of religion is paramount for all peoples of Earth but this showed poor taste and had a sense of “rubbing our noses” into 9/11 tragedy. The discussion turned toward possible solutions to stop such a great insult.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


The Guardian aims to be all things to all idiots

THE Guardian loses lots of money. It opened a coffee shop to much mocking laughter. It lost a small fortune on an open day. It has an interesting attitude to tax. So. Can the paper that celebrated the death of the profitable News of the World survive? Grey Cardigan writes on The Spin Alley:

I really don’t like the Guardian, or the sinister organisation that runs it. Not content with wrecking the entire publishing industry by giving away all their content for free – easy to do when you’re protected from dirty words like profit – they’re now just taking the piss by playing with Lego, opening a coffee shop and running courses for people who want to be food bloggers. Of course, that’s just what the world needs – more fucking food bloggers. Though if you’re daft enough to give the Guardian £400 just to learn how to take pictures of your dinner, you probably sincerely believe that the world is waiting with bated breath for your clichéd culinary crap-spittle.”

Do any of you buy the Guardian? Why do you?

Posted: 22nd, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)