TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 40

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Whitney Houston is dead Channel 5: ‘She looks better in a body bag’

WHITNEY Houston is dead and Channel follows a trailer for a corpse-still-warm ghoulish show about the singer’s demons with an indent featuring a puppet saying”She looks better in a body bag”…

Touchings stuff from Five, the stablemate to OK!, the organ that which gave us the greatest Whitney tribute ever….

Posted: 22nd, February 2012 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (2)

A slinky on a treadmill (video)

IT’S Monday. As you slink back to work, here’s a slinky on a treadmill:

Posted: 20th, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

BBC weather fail – Alex Deakin’s bucket loads of ****

BBC weather fail – bucket loads of what, Alex Deakin? It’s raining otters’ pockets

Posted: 19th, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Toddlers & Tiaras mums get pageant princess makeovers

THANKS to Anderson Cooper we get to see TLC’s Toddlers and Tiaras’ mothers given makeovers to match their daughters looks. The shoot stars that aide to contraception Honey Boo-Boo Chile and mummy June. Had they only had the foresight, the Nazis could have used show like Toddlers & Tiaras to dehumanise an entire section of the population.

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Posted: 17th, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)

Miniature horse disguised as lion performs tricks for human monkey (video)

TO the Verden Private Stallion show 6th of Feb, where Luma, the miniature horse is dressed like lion and behaving like a dog. Luma is supported buy his trainer Mélie Philippot, a white-faced Saki monkey dressed as a Roman hairdresser…

Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

John Lennon’s Imagine triggers Armageddon in Moscow

TO Moscow, where John Lennon’s song Imagine plays on the radio as an electrical substation explodes at the end of Vitebsk Avenue. If Imagine the song of human apocalypse? Not Agadoo? Or Lionel Richie’s Hello? What is the sound lost causes…trad jazz?

YouTube linkAlternative view.

Posted: 8th, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Kardashians open circus – video

FROM North Korea, a video is doing the rounds. It purports to feature the Kardashian family in their first public engagement. After depilation and waxing, the Kardashian girls were sent to America to begin their work undoing of US society…

Posted: 8th, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

The Funniest TV Captions ever – sex with cotton chicken balls

THE BEST TV captions is a gallery of words that defy explanation. Written by TV researcher to succinctly explain the confessional show’s victim, they are cultural artifacts. Each is funny. Some are hilarious:


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Posted: 3rd, February 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

A sleeping dormouse snores – video challenge

CAN snoring be cute and adorable? That question to you, sleeping dormouse:

Posted: 31st, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Irish Horse trainer celebrates horse win with another kind of ride

TO Leopardstown Ireland, where horse trainer Peter Casey is thrilled with his win. He tells RTE’s Tracey Piggott that win a pre-cursor to another kind of ride…”and everything”. Have Runway Boy readied and brought round to the chambers…

Language is NSFW:

Posted: 30th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Alternative Olympic Sports: the stairwell dive

ALTERNATIVE Olympics Sports features the no-stairs stairwell dive. The Polish athlete approaches the bar:

Posted: 28th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

In photos – Denise Welsh beats off Frankie Cocozza to win Celebrity Big Brother

CELEBRITY Big Brother has been won by embarrassing, self-pitying mum Denise Welch, who beat off the challenge of bewilderingly untalented X Factor renegade Frankie Cocozza, likeable Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas, a thong (?) of good looking women with only two settings – dull and disagreeable – Reservoir Dogs 2’s Michael Madsen, a desperate Natalie Cassidy and someone who isn’t Mark Wright from The Only Way Is Essex. All in all it was lots of telly with some terrific highlights that made us wonder why Channel 4 ever ditched it. Chuck in a bigger budget and the Big Brother could go on for ever….


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Brian Dowling (right) with Nicola McLean as she is evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House at the Elstree Studios, Borehamwood.

Posted: 27th, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (7)

Beer truck loses load in Colombia (video)

TO Colombia, where the Cerveza Aguila family picnic fun day has hit a snag. The routine in Colombia is to make the beer then make the roads. This may be a mistake…

Posted: 26th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

National Television Awards 2012 – all the winners and photos

THE National Television Awards are presented by – literally – Dermot O’Leary a man so on-message he comes with an SMS  display inserted behind his eyeballs. The  NTAs are the populist awards voted by the real people (that may or may not be you) who prefer the Daily Mirror to the Guardian, Benidorm to the Dordoyne and think Jeremy Clarkson really should be the Prime Minister. Reality TV and soaps are the stars. Spotting the difference may be the most hollow debate since  heated discussion about whether Rebecca Loos was posher than Victoria Beckham. The other debate is Carol Vorderman’s eye. Do the breasts let you see it?


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Chloe Simms arriving for the 2012 NTA Awards at the O2, Greenwich, London

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Posted: 25th, January 2012 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment

Celebrity Big Brother: Natalie Cassidy and Michael Madsen star in Reservoir Dogs 2

CELEBRITY Big Brother highlight of the night: Natalie Cassidy sucks up to Michael Madsen,the actor whose career walked out the Reservoir Dogs premiere and slipped on a banana skin, (Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home), skidded on a turd (Species 2), fell belly first off a high diving board (Kill Bill: Vol 2) and landed face first in a custard pie (Piranhaconda, which, like Reservoir Dogs, has yet to have a sequel). Says Cassidy:

“I’d like to do a gritty drama with you, Michael. You’ve not seen my body of work.”

A body of wok that includes: EastEnders, followed by (sliiiiiiip!) Celebrity Driving School, Eurovision: Making Your Mind Up, Natalie Cassidy’s Diet Secrets (Shhh!), Celebrity Mastermind and Strictly Come Dancing.

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Posted: 25th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (8)

Tortoise has sex with a crocodile (video horror)

THIS video of the tortoise having sex with the Croc is just so very wrong. Since when did crocs become ‘F*ck me shoes‘? Not that we’re complaining. After all, how many men with far younger lovers have looked at the price stuck to the sole of pair of Jimmy Choo’s and wondered ‘ F**k me!?’

Spotter: I Own The World

Posted: 24th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Cat fights aligator for lunch (video)

ON the Cajun Pride Swamp Tours, New Orleans, Louisiana, you can experience tourists egging on a cat to fight an aligator for a Japanese tourist’s ribs. Had the cat been eaten, or the cat gouged the ‘gators eyes, the happy tourists would have had an even better video. Or maybe the cat and the ‘gator can join forces, forming an unlikely duo who eviscerate and eat holidaymakers before forming a shadowy international alliance that takes on the Chinese handbag industry?  Call me, Hollywood, I have ideas…

Posted: 24th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Davina McCall is Possessed on The Million Pound Drop Live

DAVINA McCall, hostess of The Million Pound Drop Live, is possessed? Either that or else she’s realised that she’s now fronting the worst gameshow on the telly, one on which it is notoriously hard to win – £275,000 has been given away since the show began in May 2010.

Posted: 23rd, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Lukáš Kmit responds to the Nokia ringtone heckler

AT the synagogue in Presov, Slovakia,virtuoso Lukáš Kmit is interrrupted by the Nokia ringtone, tune of lost causes and middle-aged mobile phone ineptitude.

What does Lukáš Kmit do? Answer: the right ing – with style…

Spotter: Daily Picks and Flicks

Posted: 22nd, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Britain’s Got Talent Manchester auditions in photos: Alesha Dixon is Alesha Beacon

BRITAIN’S Got Talent: Alesha Dixon was Alesha Beacon for the first auditions of 2012 Britain’s Got Talent at the Lowry Theatre in Salford, Manchester. Well, so says the blurb. Lots of the talent has already been handpicked, of course.

The real stars are there year on year. No, not Dixon, Simon Cowell and the judges. Ant ‘n’ Dec…Without them BGT is the X Factor and any other tired format.


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Alesha Dixon arrives at the Lowry Theatre in Salford for the Britain's Got Talent auditions.

Posted: 21st, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

A man runs along the beach (video)

HOW was your Christmas break? Go anywhere hot. Keep fit? We did.

Old Mr Anorak, our patron, is currently wintering at his Thai ladies ping-pong winter training camp.

Posted: 20th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Simon Cowell offers BGT winners a Branson Botox

SIMON Cowell, eye licker and peddler of great format telly that has for years spiced the bland ITV schedules with two massive hits is on the cover of the red-tops:


News is that the auditions for Britain’s Got Talent are off and running. Stage schools, shopping precincts, hairdressers and cruise ships have been mined for acts to enliven the format.

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Posted: 20th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

A dog balancing balancing a chain (video)

EVER seen a dog balancing a chain? Well, you are about to see a dog balancing on a chain. But we’re greedy, aren’t we. We want to see him do it whilst juggling…

Posted: 17th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Crowboarding – the crowd surfs the icy roof (video)

CROWBOARDING – the crow surfs the icy roof on the buttons from Santa’s waistcoat…

Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Fail – BBC weather girl says ‘it’s wetter than an otter’s pocket’

BBC weather girl weather girl (why aren’t the men weather boys?) Carol Kirkwood says it is wetter than an otter’s pocket.

Pretty safe to say that CArole Kirkwood does not read the Profanisaurus”

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Posted: 16th, January 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment