Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 50

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Celebrity Big Brother: Amy Childs’s Breasts At War

HOW talented is Amy Childs? Well, she is more talented in parts than the entire body of Tara Reid and Kerry Katona. The Daily Star’s front-page headline yells:

Amy: My Boobs Will Win Big Bro

Amy might be at war with herself because there can be only one winner on Celebrity Big Brother. Anorak suggests Amy’s left breast sets the pace, falling out her top in a week’s time before leaving the field to the right breast, which, with its better styling, roundness and recession busting tap dancing routine, will win the show. Maybe the breasts could row and trigger a sibling rivalry not seen in showbiz since Liam and Noel Gallagher last fell out.

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Posted: 19th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Tara Reid Mistakes Big Brother For The Big Lebowksi 2 (Photos)

CELEBRITY Big Brother: the housemates are in: Tara Reid, Kerry Katona, Jedward, Amy Childs, Pamela Bach Hasselhoff, Lucien Laviscount, Sally Bercow, Darry Lyons, Paddy Doherty, and whoever.

But Tara Reid is the star. Only last week the American Pie actress the world she was engaged and then married to a businessman, Zack Kehayov, after a ceremony in Greece.

And you can expect much from her. Aside from the wardrobe malfunctions (see below), once dating a man called Michale Asxtman (that’s Assman with censored text), Reid is a dreamer who once said she was set to appear in the The Big Lebowski 2Austin 360 asked Joel and Ethan Coen about Tara Reid’s plans:

“I’m glad she’s working on it. Well, we don’t (have a sequel in the works) but we’ll watch it when it comes out.” Joel added, “Especially if Tara’s in it.”

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Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


OK! Scoops Rivals To Big Brother Top Secret Shocker

BIG Brother is on Channel Five and in OK! magazine. In this week’s OK!, the Big Brother house gets showcased. Says OK:

“Everyone has been battling to get the first glimpse of the newly renovated house – which has, until recently, been kept top secret by Channel 5. So, as you can imagine, our competitors were glowing green with envy when they found out OK! had been invited for a VIP behind-the-scenes tour of the pad…”

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Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


X Factor 2012: Let Cynicism And Tulisa Contostavlos’ New Teeth Rule (Launch Party Photos)

THE X Factor is back. The most cynical, manipulative, pragmatic, greedy, shallow, worthless show on the magic box returns for another chance to create the new sound in pop music from a pro-am signer who might have been to stage school. The star of the new show is, of course,

Tulisa Contostavlos, the NDubz singer who is now so street that she’s got new teeth, shiner hair and an orangey tan. It’s not only the acts who go through the Cowell processing plant…

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Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Woman Uses Lawnmower To Power Wheelchair? ( Video)

CAN you mow pavement? In this video, a woman in wheelchair mow-sies down the road. Is she wheelchair bound and looking for petrol-powered help? Or is she a less-than-keen gardener looking for take it easy? Media studies students – your answers , please…

Posted: 18th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Sesame Street: Cookie Monster Tom Waits Mash Up

THE Sesame street Cookie Monster Tom Waits mash up:

Posted: 17th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Jedward Will Be In The Celebrity Big Brother House, Of Course

THERE is absolutely no surprise that John and Edward (or Jedward from now on because they really don’t deserve to have separate names really, given that, together, they equate to less than your average human being) have been strongly linked to Five’s Celebrity Big Brother 2011.

Basically, when you’ve no discernible skill, other than a constant source of wonder at the world, coupled with the ability to take the English language and mangle it into something curious and baffling, you’re always going to gravitate toward a show that essentially prolongs your career without having to do anything more than sit on a sofa, occasionally cook, have drunken quarrels, shag under kitchen tables and perform a vaguely humiliating tasks in a garden.

Essentially, it’s fresher’s week for celebrities.

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Posted: 17th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Alternative Olympic Sports: Dog Volleyball (Video)

CONTINUING our look at Alternative Olympic Sports, we bring you dog volleyball:

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Posted: 17th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Tulisa Gets Called A ‘Scumbag’ During X Factor Auditions (Video)

BOOMING voices and flashing lights! That’s what makes the X Factor impossible to turn over once you start watching it. It’s a cartoon version of an already horrific industry and we all huddle round in our ill-fitting clothes acting as executioners, waiting to boo and bray at anyone who has the audacity to stick their head above the parapet.

And while Cowell is still getting his tits rubbed in America, we’re all gearing up for the UK series which only has Louis Walsh left over from the original judging line-up.

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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


London Riots: Video Of Man Being Mugged For His Scooter In Croydon

MORE videos of the riots in London are emerging. In this tape the man on his scooter is chased down and mugged by a man and his mates inspired by Wayne Rooney, greed, Mark Duggan, polar bears and whatever other elements the experts can toss into the blender. It might, of course, that he did it because he felt that he could get more girls that way…

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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


At Home With Hilary Devey: Dragon’s Den Is Massive Shiny Stately Home

HILARY Devey is the newest TV star on Dragons’ Den, the BBC talent show that enables rich business people to get recognised on the street. Her job, for those of you not versed in the tired show, is to be part of a panel who humiliate members of the public who dare to step before them and pitch an idea. The dragons will then smirk, sneer, exchange knowing nods with one another or present a magic pile of beans that will make both them and the pitcher richer.

Self-made millionaire businesswoman Hilary Devey is here to breathe fire. She looks like a deranged Dot Cotton who’s let her bangs grow out and likes to keep her clothes uncreased by pulling them on over the coat hanger and the wardrobe. The BBC’s creepy trailers sought to foster the idea that Devey is angry, possibly demonic – a Saturday morning cartoon baddie.

But we get to know otherwise because we’ve read her interview on Hello! magazine.

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Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Race Spectator Video Of The Day: Runner Beaten by Lamppost

TO the City2Surf 14km race from Sydney to Bondi Beach on Sunday, the untrained athlete who joined the race late catches up with the pace setter:

Posted: 16th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Louis Walsh Called Simon Cowell A ‘Fool’: It’s Like Chosing Between Illnesses

TAKING sides is never easy. However, as humans, we’re preprogrammed to do exactly that. Whether it’s football teams or pooh-sticks floating down a river, we need to back someone because without competitiveness in our lives, we’re nothing.

However, what do we do when both sides are equally odious? Step forward, the catfight that is Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell. On one hand, we have a coal eyed, man boobular, high-waist banded snark; the other, we have a camp lunatic who has never once introduced his brain to his mouth (like a little Lenny Henry, you might say).

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Posted: 15th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


How To Purge Stinking Homosexual Demons With Bob Larson

WHAT would you say to a “stinking homosexual sex demon”? No need to wonder any longer – Bob Larson is here to help. You can always trust a man who uses hairspray in readiness for talking about gay sex…

Posted: 15th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Maru The Cat Will Be Unbearably Cute: Video

YOU ready for Maru the cat? Grab a big basket of lemons and suck hard – you’ll need to restore equalibrium lest Maru turns into a rainbow unicorn…

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Posted: 11th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Manchester Riots 2011: Scenes From Whalley Range (Video)

MANCHESTER Riots: He’s gone too far…

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Posted: 10th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Greater Manchester Police Help A Protester To His Feet: Video

IN this video the Greater Manchester Police accidentally cause a man to take a nasty spill on the pavement and then gamley help him to his feet… (The money shot is in the top left-hand corner of the screen.)

They’re coming for you… You can hear the sound of their heavy boots and the gloved knock at the door…

Manchester Riot in Photos:

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Picture 1 of 15

Britain's opposition Labour leader Ed Miliband stands outside a burned out Miss Selfridge shop on Market Street in Manchester, England, after a night of rioting in the city, Wednesday Aug. 10, 2011. (AP Photo/Jon Super).

Posted: 10th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Alternative Olympic Sports: The Pakistani Rope Trick

ANORAK heads to Pakstian to continues our looks at Alternative Olympic Sports. Today we bring you a local adaption on the Indian Rope Trick…

It’s only an Olympic sport because the IOC says it is. (The barely clothed beach volley ball is this way…)

Posted: 10th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


London Riot Fail Of The Day: The Pub Umbrella Tosser (Video)

THE London riots would be more fearsome were the protagonists not so painfully stupid.

Smashing up your own area is dumb.

Posing for photos on Facebook and Twitter with your booty laid out before you is painfully thick.

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Posted: 9th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Hackney Woman Talks Sense To the Dirty Thieves: Video Of Hope

THIS woman is talking a lot of sense about the killing of Mark Duggan and the subsequent rioting by the youth. Is this the sound of social unity..? Language is in the local style (fruity and NSFW):

Posted: 8th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Invisible Emu Trips Up The Athlete: Video

IN this video, the invisible emu trips up the unwary runner…

Posted: 8th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Grandma Calls the Internet Police (Video)

GRANDMA is going to call the internet police. Why she does this on a video on the internet is a moot point. Just enjoy it. And give Michael his account back – he needs to pick up his meds:

Posted: 8th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Bald Man Grows Massive Head And Face Of Hair (Video)

MEN really do look better without hair.

In the next video our hero shouts at pigeons in the precinct and defecates himself on the Metropolitan Line between Finchley Road and Wembley Park (you know who you are)…

Trim from Petey Boy on Vimeo.

Spotter: Michelle Collins @ Best Week Ever

Posted: 6th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Bad Parenting Video: The Mother Teaches Her Child To Ride A Tricycle

BAD parenting video of the Day: the mother takes her child out for a tricycle ride…

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Posted: 6th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Face Of Lord Voldemort Forms In The Skies Over New Brunswick: Cloud Video Of The Day

OVER the fields of New Brunswick, Canada, a face forms in the clouds. Is is Lord Voldemort? Dr Spock? Tony Blair?

Denis Farmer grabs his camera. From his yard in Grand Falls, Canada, he records the face in the skies looming large.

Says Farmer:

Face! It’s a face! Holy frig!’

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Posted: 5th, August 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)