Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 101

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

I’m A Celebrity…

FOR fear of his facial plugs coming unstuck and pebble-dashing the jungle canopy, David Gest declined the offer to bungee jump into the I’m A Celebrity… encampment.

Until now, we’d snuggled up to the belief that these pampered celebrities signed any right to say “No” when they took the reported £100,000 for a maximum of two weeks work.

If we wanted Jason Donovan to get in touch with his inner anteater and eat grubs, then he would have to do it. The public would vote for Jan Leeming to be crawled over by rats in a sealed grave. And if we decreed that Lauren Booth, Cherie Blair’s sister, should wear a Perspex fishbowl filled with toxic spiders for a balaclava then so be it.

But Gest has bucked the trend. Although given the reports of his arrival in Australia, he might be the scariest thing out there.

So terrifying is Gest that the sun introduces its readers to a topless Gest diving into the surf, and the surf diving out.

Sun readers are invited to answer the question: “Would you rather sleep with David Gest or…”

Options involve eating kangaroo scrotum, cleaning a turkey farm with your tongue, wiping Abu Hamza’s backside or being Paul Gascoigne.

It might be too late to change the show’s format, but if Ant ‘n’ Dec can implement these challenges we could vote for Gest to undertake them all.

The music promoter (it says here) could then shag Myleene Klass and tell us which was the worst experience.

And note that this is the man whose benchmark is a swift marriage to Liza Minnelli, friendship with Michael Jackson and a shaving mirror.

You think he scares easily..?

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Gascoigne-Bests

AWAY from the arc lights, the sound booms and the cameras of Fiji, Bianca Gascoigne and Calum Best might just have a chance.

Bianca, step-daughter of Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne, and Calum, son of the late George ‘Bestie’ Best, are the new queen and king of TV’s Love Island.

Anyone who watched the show and saw Bianca and Calum admire each other from very close quarters will hope that the pair can go on to create a new sporting dynasty.

But will they? Now, speaking to Hello!, Bianca is keen to tell us about her “UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH CALUM”. “Obviously, I felt a strong attraction for him, and I think he felt the same for me,” say Bianca.

Indeed. Even before going onto the show, Bianca had a prophetic moment when she “jokingly” said, “It would be good if you could sneak Calum Best in here.” Calum was her “heart-throb”.

So the Gascoignes and the Bests may yet be united. And lest you worry about the offspring, know that Bianca’s half-brother Regan (son of the tired and emotional Paul and mum Sheryl) “resembles his famous footballing dad” and is a “well-mannered little boy”.

It might just be that the joining of two errant sporting families produces an especially obedient character who would no more pull his pants down and tell Norway to “f*** off” than he would forget to burp demurely into his napkin.

There is hope. And Bianca hopes to see Calum again. “Looking at pictures of him in the papers…made me realise that I really do like him. He’s a gentleman and he has respect for me,” says she. She talks of “chemistry” between them.

Great romances have been founded on less.

Posted: 8th, September 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment