The Consumer Category

We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.

Butcher promises: ‘Eating bacon reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%’

Eating  bacon reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%

 

To New South Wales, Australia, where butcher Jeff Rapley from Naroomais talking about the sign in his shop window that promises, “Eating two strips of Rapley’s award-winning bacon for breakfast reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%.”

He fails to “or your money back!” but Jeff does add that he meant no offence and “no particular religion was mentioned“. “I’m definitely not a racist and didn’t mean for it to cause offence,” says Jeff.

The Vegan Militia has yet to respond.

 

Posted: 25th, May 2016 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lost in translasion: socks

funny message on socks engrish tranlation

Posted: 23rd, May 2016 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Estate by Robert Clayton: buy the book, see the show, love the pictures

Robert Clauton esate

 

Robert Clayton’s Estate is now on display in a major solo exhibition at Four Corners, 121 Roman Road, London E2.

The exhibition also sees the launch of his new short film about the work featuring Jonathan Meades. Large scale prints and a film are on show for free until May 29th.

Find out more here.

You can see a selection of Robert’s wonderful photographs on flashbak.

And then you can buy the book. Do so. It’s really terrific. Buy it here.

 

estate robert clayton

Posted: 16th, May 2016 | In: Books, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kenneth Williams’ last diary entry is a powerful read

ken williams obit

 

Kenneth Williams (22 February 1926 – 15 April 1988). His diary entry for the day before he died is a powerful read:

 

kenneth williams

Posted: 15th, April 2016 | In: Books, Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


This Pizza box turns into a weed pipe

pizza pipe

 

Every Push for Pizza “comes with a “Pizza Pipe”. Well, this is still a concept, but the idea is sound. You rip off a section of the cardboard box, pop out the ceramic stand that stops the box from crushing the pizza and assemble the thing ready for your post-prandial puff.

“No longer will one have to search for a pipe before or struggle to remember the telephone number of the pizza parlor after its use,” says Push for Pizza. “Equally important, the pizza is in hand before the munchies set in, leading to a more relaxed and enjoyable experience without the interminable delay of its delivery or the pain of gnawing hunger.”

 

push for pizza weed pipe

 

File under: stone baked.

Posted: 14th, April 2016 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Punctuation in novels: words stripped from books leaving only the punctuation

Punctuation in Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (left) and in Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner (right).

Punctuation in Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (left) and in Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner (right).

 

Adam J Calhoun stripped two books of words:

Inspired by a series of posters, I wondered what did my favorite books look like without words. Can you tell them apart or are they all a-mush? In fact, they can be quite distinct. Take my all-time favorite book, Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner. It is dense prose stuffed with parentheticals. When placed next to a novel with more simplified prose — Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy — it is a stark difference (see above).

The beauty of good punctuation.

Posted: 17th, February 2016 | In: Books | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cancel your subscription to Harper’s magazine and receive this desperate letter

When Adrienne LaFrance cancelled her subscription to Harper’s magazine she received a letter – a begging letter. Read it and weep (with annotations by Adrienne):

 

Cancel your subscription to Harper’s magazine and receive this desperate letter

 

harper letter

 

Posted: 15th, February 2016 | In: Key Posts, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Top 5 comments ‘Overheard In Waitrose’

overheard in waitrose

 

On Facebook people are sharing things Overheard In Waitrose. And it’s great. Here are five crackers:

“I can’t find anything here, we should have really gone to Selfridges” – Overheard in Waitrose Marylebone

Two people having a heated argument at the front of local store. -One said ‘I know I am right, I’m a solicitor’ .To which the second calmly said ‘So am I’

Overheard in Waitrose Twickenham… “Lysander put the papaya down!”

“I suppose we could have a coffee. I’ve just spoken to Susan and she’s still doing the ironing and there’s nothing worse than being in your own house when the cleaner is still there.”

“Jemima, you’ll have to take the Rosemary off the Focaccia before we feed the ducks, Darling…. They can’t digest it!”

Posted: 10th, February 2016 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Then ultimate bath tub in a canal house in Amsterdam

A canal house in Amsterdam by Witteveen Architects. A canal house in Amsterdam by Witteveen Architects.

 

Spotter

Posted: 9th, February 2016 | In: Technology, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bernie Sanders is now an ice cream flavour

bernie's yearning ice cream 

What does a 74-year-old politician taste of? Given the usual sexual kinks of the great and learned, we’d say hot wax, orange rind and dry-cleaning. But Ben Cohen (co-founder and half the namesake of Ben & Jerry’s) says Bernie Sanders tastes of mint ice cream with a milk chocolate disc on the top.

“The chocolate disc represents the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top 1% since the end of the recession,” the carton to Bernie’s Yearning reads. “Beneath it, the rest of us.”

Use by November 8 2016.

Spotter: Politico

 

Posted: 26th, January 2016 | In: Politicians, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Aldi: ‘Our ham contains 110% pork’

Aldi ham 110%

 

This packet of Aldi British ham contains an impressive “110% pork”. That stuffs got more pig in it than pregnant sow.

Della Farzads says: “I checked the label because I don’t eat meat, and I wondered how much was in it. When I saw it I burst out laughing, even though I was on my own.”

You don’t have to be mad to shop at Aldi but…

Spoter: Metro

Posted: 25th, January 2016 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Good news: woman finds traces of real chicken parts in her KFC

To Wellingborough, U.K., where amidst the fat, cardboard, grease and batter, Cassandra Perkins, 22, has found something exciting and newsworthy in her KFC dinner

“It looked disgusting and pink, I didn’t want to touch it,” she tells the Northampton Chronicle. “I first thought that it may have been brain or lung, it certainly wasn’t chicken. My burger had a hair in it as well.”

Beef? Fish? Tortoise? No. It was chicken. As KFC explains:

“Sometimes mistakes can happen and unfortunately on rare occasions, giblets are not removed when they should have been. We have reminded our team members to take extra care in future, and if a customer is ever unhappy with their food we encourage them to let our team know, who will always be happy to help.”

Who knew there was actual chicken in a KFC meal?

chicken lung KFC

 

In other news: nuggets grow on trees.

Posted: 24th, January 2016 | In: News, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Icleand is putting ‘Coloured Cheddar’ cheese’ in security boxes to deter bandits

cheese iceland security

 

Do you love cheese? How much? Iceland have taken to securing cheese inside plastic boxes. This is not done to keep the cheese fresh, rather to prevent shoplifting.

In other news: is ‘Coloured cheddar” racist?

Spotter: @PLinotype

Posted: 18th, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Remeber when Ryanair staff drew a massive snow penis around aircraft at Dublin airport

In February 2015 Ryan Air staff marked the arrival of snow by drawing a giant snow penis by a company plane parked at Dublin airport.

 

ryan air penis

 

The owner is away.

 

Posted: 17th, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Stuffed and mounted: hunting for prostitutes business attacked by animal rights protestors

sex antlersTo Austria, where hunters are guaranteed a “happy ending”on return to camp. A business has been offering hunters in the Neustift-Innermanzing municipality lots of killing in Lower Austria’s Alpine foothills followed by an evening of human skin. The advert trills:

“After an exciting day’s hunting what could be better than a cosy night for two, or even three, in a remote mountain cabin. Everything is possible. The hunter’s return will be welcomed back by a lovely companion, and of course absolute discretion and confidentiality are guaranteed.”

The country’s Association Against Animal Factories (VGT) is aghast:

“It is hunting with prostitutes. It seems that with money anything is possible,” says VGT boss Martin Balluch.

The hunting company has now removed the offer. Although hunters are free to go and **** themselves.

Posted: 15th, January 2016 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


In North London you can buy a painted log for £10

In Muswell Hill, North London, an interiors shop is selling logs with coloured paint on for £10 a pop.

 

I shit you not, a Muswell Hill interiors shop are selling logs with coloured paint on for £10 a pop.Bargain.

 

Posted: 14th, January 2016 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tyrrells ‘swanky veg’ flavour is for ‘wanky’ crisps munchers

Have you tried Tyrells’ ‘swanky veg’ crisps, “an exotic mélange of lavish veggies, with just a pinch of sea salt to let them sing”.

tyrells ‘swanky veg’ crisps as “an exotic mélange of lavish veggies, with just a pinch of sea salt to let them sing”. Twitter noticed something much less exotic about them.

 

It’s just truth in advertising. All their crisps sound a bit ‘wanky’:

 

 

tyrrells wanky

 

Wanky veg and wanky salted a la mode.

 

Posted: 10th, January 2016 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mom makes epic etching fail: ‘friends are the rapists you can drink with’

A mom got a little crafty and decided to make her own wine glasses, complete with the pithy phrase, “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on them. What started as a fun experiment quickly turned unintentionally creepy. “My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explained redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.” With the correct spacing, they look a little more innocent. The handwritten font is still pretty creepy, though. But hey, it’s a fairly common mistake, at least according to various buffoons on TV. [h/t Tech Insider | Reddit]

 

Mom wanted to make a glass with the phrase “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on the side.

“My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explains redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.”

 

A mom got a little crafty and decided to make her own wine glasses, complete with the pithy phrase, “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on them. What started as a fun experiment quickly turned unintentionally creepy. “My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explained redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.” With the correct spacing, they look a little more innocent. The handwritten font is still pretty creepy, though. But hey, it’s a fairly common mistake, at least according to various buffoons on TV. [h/t Tech Insider | Reddit] A mom got a little crafty and decided to make her own wine glasses, complete with the pithy phrase, “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on them. What started as a fun experiment quickly turned unintentionally creepy. “My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explained redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.” With the correct spacing, they look a little more innocent. The handwritten font is still pretty creepy, though. But hey, it’s a fairly common mistake, at least according to various buffoons on TV. [h/t Tech Insider | Reddit]

 

Therapist. The rapist. There’s a B-movie in this.

Spotter: Tech Insider |

Posted: 19th, December 2015 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


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