The Consumer Category
We bring you the chic and unique, the best and most bizarre shopping offers both online and offline. We offer you tips on where to buy, and some of the less mainstream and crazy, individual and offbeat items on the internet. Anything that can be bought and sold can be featured here. And we love showcasing the best and worst art and design.
Kenneth Williams (22 February 1926 – 15 April 1988). His diary entry for the day before he died is a powerful read:
Every Push for Pizza “comes with a “Pizza Pipe”. Well, this is still a concept, but the idea is sound. You rip off a section of the cardboard box, pop out the ceramic stand that stops the box from crushing the pizza and assemble the thing ready for your post-prandial puff.
“No longer will one have to search for a pipe before or struggle to remember the telephone number of the pizza parlor after its use,” says Push for Pizza. “Equally important, the pizza is in hand before the munchies set in, leading to a more relaxed and enjoyable experience without the interminable delay of its delivery or the pain of gnawing hunger.”
File under: stone baked.
Adam J Calhoun stripped two books of words:
Inspired by a series of posters, I wondered what did my favorite books look like without words. Can you tell them apart or are they all a-mush? In fact, they can be quite distinct. Take my all-time favorite book, Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner. It is dense prose stuffed with parentheticals. When placed next to a novel with more simplified prose — Blood Meridian, by Cormac McCarthy — it is a stark difference (see above).
The beauty of good punctuation.
When Adrienne LaFrance cancelled her subscription to Harper’s magazine she received a letter – a begging letter. Read it and weep (with annotations by Adrienne):
On Facebook people are sharing things Overheard In Waitrose. And it’s great. Here are five crackers:
“I can’t find anything here, we should have really gone to Selfridges” – Overheard in Waitrose Marylebone
Two people having a heated argument at the front of local store. -One said ‘I know I am right, I’m a solicitor’ .To which the second calmly said ‘So am I’
Overheard in Waitrose Twickenham… “Lysander put the papaya down!”
“I suppose we could have a coffee. I’ve just spoken to Susan and she’s still doing the ironing and there’s nothing worse than being in your own house when the cleaner is still there.”
“Jemima, you’ll have to take the Rosemary off the Focaccia before we feed the ducks, Darling…. They can’t digest it!”
What does a 74-year-old politician taste of? Given the usual sexual kinks of the great and learned, we’d say hot wax, orange rind and dry-cleaning. But Ben Cohen (co-founder and half the namesake of Ben & Jerry’s) says Bernie Sanders tastes of mint ice cream with a milk chocolate disc on the top.
“The chocolate disc represents the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top 1% since the end of the recession,” the carton to Bernie’s Yearning reads. “Beneath it, the rest of us.”
Use by November 8 2016.
This packet of Aldi British ham contains an impressive “110% pork”. That stuffs got more pig in it than pregnant sow.
Della Farzads says: “I checked the label because I don’t eat meat, and I wondered how much was in it. When I saw it I burst out laughing, even though I was on my own.”
You don’t have to be mad to shop at Aldi but…
To Wellingborough, U.K., where amidst the fat, cardboard, grease and batter, Cassandra Perkins, 22, has found something exciting and newsworthy in her KFC dinner
“It looked disgusting and pink, I didn’t want to touch it,” she tells the Northampton Chronicle. “I first thought that it may have been brain or lung, it certainly wasn’t chicken. My burger had a hair in it as well.”
Beef? Fish? Tortoise? No. It was chicken. As KFC explains:
“Sometimes mistakes can happen and unfortunately on rare occasions, giblets are not removed when they should have been. We have reminded our team members to take extra care in future, and if a customer is ever unhappy with their food we encourage them to let our team know, who will always be happy to help.”
Who knew there was actual chicken in a KFC meal?
In other news: nuggets grow on trees.
Do you love cheese? How much? Iceland have taken to securing cheese inside plastic boxes. This is not done to keep the cheese fresh, rather to prevent shoplifting.
In other news: is ‘Coloured cheddar” racist?
In February 2015 Ryan Air staff marked the arrival of snow by drawing a giant snow penis by a company plane parked at Dublin airport.
To Austria, where hunters are guaranteed a “happy ending”on return to camp. A business has been offering hunters in the Neustift-Innermanzing municipality lots of killing in Lower Austria’s Alpine foothills followed by an evening of human skin. The advert trills:
“After an exciting day’s hunting what could be better than a cosy night for two, or even three, in a remote mountain cabin. Everything is possible. The hunter’s return will be welcomed back by a lovely companion, and of course absolute discretion and confidentiality are guaranteed.”
The country’s Association Against Animal Factories (VGT) is aghast:
“It is hunting with prostitutes. It seems that with money anything is possible,” says VGT boss Martin Balluch.
The hunting company has now removed the offer. Although hunters are free to go and **** themselves.
In Muswell Hill, North London, an interiors shop is selling logs with coloured paint on for £10 a pop.
Have you tried Tyrells’ ‘swanky veg’ crisps, “an exotic mélange of lavish veggies, with just a pinch of sea salt to let them sing”.
It’s just truth in advertising. All their crisps sound a bit ‘wanky’:
Wanky veg and wanky salted a la mode.
Mom wanted to make a glass with the phrase “friends are therapists you can drink with” written on the side.
“My mom made wine glasses to give to her friends for the holiday,” explains redditor Shagen34. “Her spacing was a little off on the first one.”
Therapist. The rapist. There’s a B-movie in this.
Spotter: Tech Insider |
The perfect gift for the cat lady in your life crazy cat ladies in your life: cat panties.
Anyone eating at a restaurant in smoggy Zhangjiagang city, Jiangsu Province, was charged one yuan (10p, $0.15) to cover the cost of breathing air fit for human consumption.
You can buy cheese and meat shaped into thin, square slices to slap between two pieces of bread. Now you can buy sliced chocolate for your sarnie. Japanese company Bourbon is selling packets of five two-millimetre thick slices of “nama chocolate”. Time to up your game, Nutella.