MUKESH Ambani is India’s richest man. His compact and bijou home, named Antilia, sits on lots of Altamount Road, Mumbai. It has 27-stories (570 feet) and 400, 000 square of floor space. It cost $1bn. It features a snow room. Mr Ambani’s wife, Nita, tells Vanity Fair: “It’s a modern home with an Indian heart.” And its own seat on the UN. Want to look around?
FOLLOWING news of the American who picketed his all-you-can-eat restaurant for not making him full, a story from Kylin Buffet in Ocean Road, South Shields, where Beverley Clark have been asked to pay an extra £20 or not eating enough.
When her party of three left on their plates two onion rings, a piece of prawn toast, and a spring roll, the staff surcharged them £20 for “wastage of food”, on top of the £18 food bill.
Miss Clark worked out that if she removed the food, the charge would be gone. So, like a hungry granny at a wake, she placed the leftovers in her handbag. That would show them. She tells the Shields Gazette that “the staff kept checking if we had eaten the food. In the end I wrapped it up in a serviette, and put it into my bag when they weren’t looking, so it looked like we had eaten it.”
ANDRE Breivik, a mass murderer says he “trained” to murder by playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, a video game. Only a loon would think mass murder was triggered by a video game.
I love video games. I also enjoyed what the press in the 1980s called Video Nasties. Driller Killer, for example, was mindless fun, and I don’t even like DIY. The best bit about the Video Nasty panic was that fans of the films got to see a checklist of what they needed to watch. In all 72 films made the government’s ultimate video nasty list. The only British film on it was Expose, starring Fiona Richmond. The mind-altering film’s theme tune was called Approaching Menace, otherwise known as the theme from BBC quiz show Mastermind. It was scary stuff!
What you need for the words of a murderous lunatic to be taken at face value and turned into a moral panic to create censorship and curtail freedoms is a willing fool in an official post. Step forward Keith Vaz, vain chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee.
CAN you be too fat to eat? Bill Wisth weighs 350 pounds. He is six-feet-six-inches tall. He likes to eat. So, when a Wisconsin’s Chuck’s fish fry restaurant promoted its all-you-can-eat dinner, he went in sat down, and made ready to eat enough for the 5,000 and leave room for a post-prandial wafer. After pushing 12 pieces into his pie hole, the Chuck’s asked Bill to leave. They sent him home with eight more chunks of fried fish. But Bill wanted more. And then he wanted vengeance. Wisth says he is victim of false advertising. He says he never got to eat all he could. To make his point, he’s taken to picketing the place.
Chuck’s say he has form, and a tab. Bill says Chuck’s does a really great deep-pan pizza (like this one?). The Japanese fisherman says that should Bill tumble into the pizza, they will use extreme prejudice to harpoon him out…
PIZZA Hut has finally stopped dicking around. It will give the customer what they want: fat. In a box. Covered in cheese. The F*ck You Pizza From Pizza Hut is d’lish. Meanwhile, in Glasgow…
AMY Childs, wipe-clean star of The Only Way is Essex (fact: Amy is coated in the same stuff they use to make classroom white boards) is promoting her Hair Vajazzles. The shaven mons is out. The hairy woman is in. The euphemistic Sugar Hut has gone for a Trader Vic’s makeover. It’s the 1970s and all that, starring The Brady Bunch’s Teeth, Rocky Horror Show hair and Dolly Parton’s skin suit and guest starring Amy Childs as Danny LaRue…
PSSSST! Wanna buy a potato? No. What about a laptop? Ok. Done. One man in Manchester was. The Greater Manchester Police are seeking the men who sold a rucksack full of potatoes as a laptop.
A 24-year-old man was in Bury when two men approached. The duo have East European accents. They are offering to sell a laptop for £150. They show the device. The man looks it over and agrees to buy it. He gets the cash from the bank and is handed the bag. The vendors drive off. The man opens the bag and – get this – it’s full of spuds. More pomme de terre than Apple Mac.
Recently, a 19-year-old was also conned. He paid £660 for an iPhone and laptop. He was given a bottle of coke in a bag.
HUSTON’S Drugs Store in Houston, Texas closed down year ago. If you peep inside you can see the shop as it was, a museum of products from yesteryear. If you know more about the place, please tell us:
FANCY owning a bit of news history? The San Jose mine in Capiapso, Chile, is up for sale. The place closed when the 33 miners who’d been trapped underground of 69 days escaped in Mother Nature’s reverse suppository. San Esteban, the mine’s owners, chipped in £5m to help the Chilean government pay for the rescue but were unable to find any more cash. So. Here’s your chance to buy the copper and gold mine that triggered the soon-to-be-made film of the drama. Any buyer with vision for an underground disaster movie theme park can apply within..?
ON May 1, the Sun on Sunday carried a front-page reader offer for a “FREE” pink travel hairdryer work £15. Private Eye explained how the dryers has been knocking about for a while, having been offered to News of The World readers back in July 2011. That paper closed. The dryers gathered dust. But they could be reused again because someone had the foresight to brand them with the logo for Fabulous, the NoW mag now inserted into the Sun on Sunday.
Happy days, then. No. On May 12, the Sun had news:
NEWS Group Newspapers (NGN) has identified a potential safety issue with the Fabulous Travel Hairdryer (Model number FB-0307A) offered for free in The Sun between April 29th and May 12th, 2012. Despite rigorous quality control procedures, it has been brought to NGN’s attention that in some instances this product may pose a risk of personal injury or even electrocution due to faulty wiring
FLASHBACK to 1976. Argos is the high street darling. Richard Tompkins, creator of those Green Shield Stamps has rebranded his ‘Green Shield Gift House’ as Argos. Now cash would replace stamps as currency. The first store opened in July 1973, in Canterbury, Kent. And by 1976, all the family know where to get their general goods from. Just take a gander at the Olivetti typewriters, the After Eight mints silver-style Gun Carriage,the Pifco Hoverdryer Hood hairdryer, the Richochet Racers and much else besides…
THE Most Controversial Magazine Covers of all time features: Time mag’s woman breastfeeding a toddler (don’t worry, they’ve been on a few dates); OK! paying tribute to a dead Jade Goody before Jade Goody had died; Mohammed Ali as Jesus; Vogue’s King Kong cover; Barack Obama as the New Yorker’s fist-bumping Muslim; John Lennon frotting Yoko Ono for Rolling Stone; Newsweek reincarnating Princess Diana for shopping trip with Kate Middleton; and more…
DID you about those godless Chinese grinding up the bones and flesh of dead babies and turning the desiccated human cement into mouth-sized capsules to be taken after meals? South Korean customs officials say they impounded thousands of capsules filled with the powdered meat of human babies. The drugs were said to be produced in northeastern China (yeah, not far from the border with South Korea’s dread enemy North Korea).
The South Koreans say that the 17,450 capsules were being used as stamina boosters and cures for a range of diseases. But, oddly, no-one has been arrested for what sound like a heinous product. And the customs officials who found the horrible stuff want to remain anonymous.
TO the Costume Institute Benefit Gala at the Metropolitan Museum – New York, in the company of Anja Rubik, doyenne of the Rubik’s Lube, showing us the pelvic bone Angelina Jolie shaves her leg on…
SCIENCE you can’t argue with: news is that taking rides on rollercoaster – such as the new Swarm ride at Thorpe Park in Surrey!!! – produces “astonishing” health benefits. Wow!
The Press Association reports that neuropsychologist Dr David Lewis has made an amazing discovery. He tells us:
“While the immediate euphoric buzz generated by the flood of feelgood chemicals released into the rider’s brain and body seem likely to fade fairly rapidly, more subtle effects may well exert their influence for far longer.”
You might feel thrilled for longer. You can’t argue with the doctor. It’s just facts!
YOU want to make love to the camera but the camera has made other plans. Take care, glamour models, with bad lighting and a misplaced pot plant, this could be you in our gallery of Awkward Glamour Photos:
FOR “CURVES Of YOITUH” you need to pull the cords on Prof. Mack’s Chin Reducer and Beautifier. Be the envy of all your pals with an effaced chin and reduced glands*.
VICTORIA Eisermann spent the day sat naked in the rain in London’s Parliament Square. Vicky was in a bathtub filled with fake blood. She was not raising money for charity (the red sauce had no cold baked bean in it). She was staging a protest against the EU’s postponement of banning the sale of cosmetics containing ingredients tested on animals. All good stuff. This is Victoria Eisermann, who was crowned Europe’s Sexiest Vegetarian by PETA in 2007. We cold nto help but notice that Victoria’s chest is surgically enhanced. Such a procedure requires a general anaesthetic. And were those drugs tested on animals. So. Did animal testing help her?
Victoria Eisermann sits in a bathtub filled with fake blood to protest EU's postponement of banning the sale of cosmetics containing ingredients tested on animals. Parliament Square, London
TODAY, Rachael Johnston, an anorexic once given just 48-hours to live, has launched a petition to ban the use of airbrushing to make woman look flawless and thin in magazines and other organs. She tells the Mail (a paper that is no fan of woman’s natural looks):
“It wasn’t until later that I realised what an effect these images can have and how they affected the things I did or felt.”
LITIGANT of the Day is the Henry Wolf, of San Francisco, who is suing BMW of North America and Corbin-Pacific, makers of bike seats. Mr Wolf claims that following a four-hour ride on a 1993 BMW motorcycle sporting a Corbin-Pacific seat, he developed “a severe case of priapism”. Though carrying a permanently erect member, Mr Wolf says he is “unable to engage in sexual activity”.
The complaint states that on May 1, 2010:
“Plaintiff was riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle equipped with a Corbin-Pacific seat. The ride lasted approximately two hours each way to plaintiff’s destination, after which plaintiff developed a severe case of priapism (a persistent, lasting erection). Plaintiff alleges that this condition was caused by the ridge-like seat on his motorcycle, negligently designed, manufactured and/or installed by defendants. Plaintiff now suffers from priapism (a long lasting erection), and has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride. He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.
“Plaintiff is distraught and distressed because of this. Defendants, and each of them, are liable to plaintiff due [to] their negligent design, manufacture and/or installation of the seat on plaintiff’s motorcycle.”
HOW dangerous is Nutella? The Consumerist reports on goings on in California, where Athena Hohenberg, a litigious San Diego mother of a four-year-old child, took out a class-action lawsuit against Ferrero U.S.A. Inc., makers of the nutty brown gunk. Back in February 2011, mum was ”shocked to learn” “that Nutella was in fact not a ‘healthy,’ ‘nutritious’ food”. Nutella was “the next best thing to a candy bar”.
The adverts tell consumers that Nutella can be part of a “tasty yet balanced breakfast”.
The caring mum claims Nutella “contains dangerous levels of saturated fat,” and “over 55% processed sugar.” She says such things”significantly contribute to America’s alarming increase in childhood obesity” and “serious health problems”.
FACES of The Day: The 4th Body-painting competition at the BEAUTY FORUM and trade fair in Leipzig, eastern Germany, Saturday. Watch out for pigeon chests. (Photos NSFW.)
EDS NOTE NUDITY - The model of 1st placed artist Einat Dan of Israel, left, and the model of 2nd placed artist Alfren Fabris of Brazil, 2nd of left, are reflect in a mirror during the 4th Body-painting competition at the BEAUTY FORUM and trade fair in Leipzig, eastern Germany, Saturday, April 28, 2012. BEAUTY FORUM 2012 is one of the most important cosmetic trade fairs in Germany. (AP Photo/Jens Meyer)
WHICH nation has the most appreciation of cosmetic surgery? And does it alter depending on where Simon Cowell is staying? The answers are revealed in a report from the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. In 2010, America was No.1, with 3.3m procedures. But if the figures allow for population numbers, South Korea is the top of the pile…
Anorak is an independent online sensation exposing prejudice, inhumanity, stuff shirts, misogyny, a biased news agenda, conformity, misanthropy, spin and the worst and best of human culture in words, pictures and video.
FOLLOWING news of the American who picketed his all-you-can-eat restaurant for not making him full, a story from Kylin Buffet in Ocean Road, South Shields, where Beverley Clark have been asked to pay an extra £20 or not eating enough.
ANDRE Breivik, a mass murderer says he “trained” to murder by playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, a video game. Only a loon would think mass murder was triggered by a video game.
CAN you be too fat to eat? Bill Wisth weighs 350 pounds. He is six-feet-six-inches tall. He likes to eat. So, when a Wisconsin’s Chuck’s fish fry restaurant promoted its all-you-can-eat dinner, he went in sat down, and made ready to eat enough for the 5,000 and leave room for a post-prandial wafer. After pushing 12 pieces into his pie hole, the Chuck’s asked Bill to leave. They sent him home with eight more chunks of fried fish. But Bill wanted more. And then he wanted vengeance. Wisth says he is victim of false advertising. He says he never got to eat all he could. To make his point, he’s taken to picketing the place.
PSSSST! Wanna buy a potato? No. What about a laptop? Ok. Done. One man in Manchester was. The Greater Manchester Police are seeking the men who sold a rucksack full of potatoes as a laptop.
FANCY owning a bit of news history? The San Jose mine in Capiapso, Chile, is up for sale. The place closed when the 33 miners who’d been trapped underground of 69 days escaped in Mother Nature’s reverse suppository. San Esteban, the mine’s owners, chipped in £5m to help the Chilean government pay for the rescue but were unable to find any more cash. So. Here’s your chance to buy the copper and gold mine that triggered the soon-to-be-made film of the drama. Any buyer with vision for an underground disaster movie theme park can apply within..?
ON May 1, the Sun on Sunday carried a front-page reader offer for a “FREE” pink travel hairdryer work £15. Private Eye explained how the dryers has been knocking about for a while, having been offered to News of The World readers back in July 2011. That paper closed. The dryers gathered dust. But they could be reused again because someone had the foresight to brand them with the logo for Fabulous, the NoW mag now inserted into the Sun on Sunday.
