Anorak

Anorak

Anorak - Author Archive

Finding Madeleine McCann’s Body – “Vermoedelijke Vindplaats”

IS Madeleine McCann dead? A letter to a Dutch newspaper. And a map showing where her body can be found. It’s credible:
Police in Portugal are investigating an anonymous letter and … (read more)

Posted: 14th, June 2007 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (274)

Halifax Highlight Poor Home Security

‘THE Modus Operandi of a Burglar’ may sound like the title of a thrilling novel, but instead it’s the rather overly dramatic title of a new report sponsored by … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Money | Comments (2)

Stonycroft Is The Village Of The Damned

TIRED of high-pressure city living? Thinking of upping sticks and moving to the peace and quiet of the countryside? Well, before you make any rash decisions, you’d be advised to … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Simon Ambrose Wins The Apprentice

A reality TV show has an intelligent, likeable winner. Who would have guessed it:
Simon Ambrose has won The Apprentice, beating the show’s favourite Kristina Grimes to the £100,000-a-year job with … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)

Something Fishy In Big Brother Chanelle

WAS Chanelle giving birth in the sardine can? The noise. The agony. The shrieking. Then Charley got in and shrieked louder. Was this bullying? Or just lampooning Chanelle? Answers on … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Labour Party’s Free Last Will And Testament To Members

LABOUR Party members received this today. Filed under ‘Beyond Parody’:
Dear….,

The Labour Party and Flint Bishop Solicitors are delighted to announce the launch of Labour Legal Services … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Danielle Lloyd On Big Brother ‘Prostitutes’ Charley And Chanelle

“DANIELLE ON BIG BROTHER.”

Danielle Lloyd, for it is she, is wearing a spotty bikini. At last we hope it’s a bikini with spots on. Danielle’s health problems are well documented … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Back pages | Comments (4)

George Bush Stole his Own Watch In Albania

A VICTIMLESS crime. He stole it himself. The Albanians didn’t take it. Wonder if he’ll still claim on holiday insurance..?

… (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Amanda Monti Rips Off Geoffrey Jones’s Testicle

WHO needs pepper spray?
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Margaret Thatcher Rallys The Troops

IT’S the 25th anniversary of the liberation of the Falklands. Margaret Thatcher remembers. And says:
Tyranny and violence wear many masks. Yet from victory in the Falklands we can all today … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Roy L. Pearson Jr. Takes Koreans To The Custom Cleaners

WHAT is it with judges and their nether regions?

Yesterday, Court of Appeal judge Stephen Richards was clearing his name of charges that he revealed himself to a woman on a … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (18)

Pinewood Profits Drop: James Bond In Catch 22

THE famous Pinewood Shepperton studios, birthplace of such classic films as The Red Shoes, The Ipcress File, Casino Royale and, erm, Basic Instinct 2, has been warned that delays to … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Money | Comment

Madeleine McCann ‘Hoax’: Spanish Police Don’t Know Antonio Toscano

FROM Paulo Reis in Portugal:
Antonio Toscano, the “investigative journalist”, interviewed yesterday by Daily Express, said that he was “100 per cent certain” he knew the identity of Madeleine McCann’s kidnapper, … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (26)

Political Scandal Rocks Iran: Mohammad Khatami And The Woman

IRANIAN president Mohammad Khatami has broken strict Islamic laws and touched a woman – a real live woman! – in public. Before his hand went green, span round three times … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Paris Hilton’s Parents Jump The Prison Queue

WONDER why Paris Hilton is like she is?
LOS ANGELES (AP) – Paris Hilton’s parents visited their daughter after breezing past others waiting to see loved ones – an incident that … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Big Brother Odds And Free Bet

FROM Anorak’s man at Betfair:

With a fortnight elapsed in the BB house, it’s seemingly been a daily case of flip-flopping favourites. After being backed into 7.4 yesterday, the lowest price … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Local Issues And World War III In Anorak Forums

LOCAL difficulties in the Anorak Forums, writes AGW:

You City Slickers don’t know how easy you have it. Into the Tube, train, metro or even cycle to travel to work without … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Save Shabnam From Big Brother Eviction

WHAT can spare Shabnam eviction from the Big Brother house?

Shabnam looks doomed – Anorak’s Betfair market gives her a 90% chance of eviction tomorrow night.

Back her and take the easy … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Big Brother’s Jade Goody Is On the Celebrity Train

DID Jade Goody take offence when Big Brother’s Emily Parr called Charley a nigger?

Goody the Hoody is a mix of black and white blood. Indeed, when OK! trails “Jade Goody … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Teaching Phycics In School – A Teacher’s Lament

WANT to know about science in school and how it’s taught. Take a look at this:
I am a physics teacher. Or, at least I used to be. My subject is … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Tony Blair On The Independent And Views As News

IF there is one thing a newspaper loves more than a campaign it is talking about itself. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)

And today the Independent excels even itself with a lead … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comments (4)

The Ten Most Inpsired/Stupidest Celebrity Names

ADD at your leisure:

1. Jason Lee: son Pilot Inspektor
2. Anna Ryder Richardson: daughters Dixie … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Mind Over Matter: Chemical Castration For Paedophiles

“PAEDOS TO BE CHEMICALLY CASTRATED.” So says the Mirror’s front-page headline.
“Reid plans to give perverts jabs that stop stick desires.” (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)

Nothing like bit of direct action to … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (15)

When Big Brother’s Seány Met Shrek

BIG Brother’s Seány has met Shrek. Or at least his clothes have. Here’s a pictrure of Seány with Micke Myers…

… (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

How To Use Anorak’s Free Big Brother Bet

WE are offering a £10 FREE bet on Betfair.

Betfair is a betting exchange. This means you’re betting against your fellow customers, not us.

Think of it like being with a mate … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Contact Us Writers