Key Posts Category
Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela 2: More Great Vuvuzela Pictures
THE Vuvuzela is ruining your World Cup? Not a bit of it. Thanks to an insipid England and John Terry, the vuvuzela is not the most upsetting thing in South Africa. Indeed, we have come to appreciate it. Anorak has scoured the web and now presents more greatest vuvuzela pictures ever – what we call: “Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela 2! – The Victoria Beckham Opus.”
Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (7)
Pavlos Joseph Is Fan In The Singing England Changing Room: Pictures
WAYNE Rooney apologises for being a petulant, bratty footballer out of touch with the fans at the World Cup, and the Sunday Mirror introduces a man who might yet play for England: Pavlos Joseph.
Pavlos Joseph is the “dressing room invader”. Draped in the flag of St George, Pavlos is the man who “invaded” the England dressing room in what we believed was a desperate bid to play for the team. Blessed with the build of a young Paul Gascoigne, the hands of Robert Green and the composure of Aaron Lennon, Pavlos Joseph can yet save the day.
The story is then summed up in one neat paragraph:
“The crazy thing is I only went looking for the toilet,” says Manchester United fan Pavlos, 32, from South-East London…
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Posted: 20th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Chris Huhne, Carina Trimingham And Another Tory Success
THE Energy secretary Chris Huhne announces that is separating from his wife Vicky Pryce because of a “serious relationship” with the P.G. Wodehouse-inspired Carina Trimingham, Mr Huhne’s press manager for the 2010 election.
At least the PR response should be good. She is also Campaigns Director of the Electoral Reform Society. It just gets better and better for the Tories.
Vicky Pryce is the chief economist at the Department for Business Innovation and Skills.
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Posted: 19th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (5)
The Greatest Vuvuzela Pictures Ever: Now That’s What I Call Vuvuzela
THE vuvuzela – pronounced: Va-vooz-zoola – is a hit. The World Cup has been buzzing with the vuvuzela endlessly. It’s the buzziest buzz on the street – buzzing in the ground, in the lounge, on the telly, in your dreams… Make it stop. Make it stop. We’ve scoured the web and can now bring the ultimate vuvuzela gallery…
Japanese Teacher Anri Suzuki Wants Sex With Students To Apologise For Japanese War Crimes
MISS Anri Suzuki, 24, from Tokyo, says she will repair wrongs carried out by Japanese soldiers in China by having sex with the Chinese student body.
Japan invaded – penetrated, if you will – China in 1937.
Anri Suzuki has a doctorate in Sino-Japanese history. She also happens to be a jobbing porn star. And if she has learnt one thing it is that a shag can heel wounds and build bridges. But might a bad shag do more harm than good?
Says she:
“We have to respect the lessons of history and although we cannot obliterate it we can try and make recompense. I want to cure the wounds of China with my body, and I offer to do this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan. I think it would be a symbolic compensation for them.”
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Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (21)
Political Correctness: The Future In A Gallery
WINSTON Churchill’s cigar got one bight spark thinking about how political correctness could impact on other great images. If Churchill is fair game for the fascists, what hope for Sherlock Holmes, Johnny Depp, Manet and other great names? A gallery now follows. We have seen the Brave New World – albeit through protective spectacles…
The Truth About Non-Smoking Vegan Winston Churchill’s Vanishing Cigar
Posted: 18th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
World Cup: Did Sara Carbonero Cost Spain The World Cup (Photos)?
IN Spain, the World Cup story goes that the bratty team lost their rubber against the Swiss because Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas was distracted by his girlfriend, Sara Carbonero, stood behind the goal.
Carbonero is a TV sports hackette. Shockingly, she is not blonde (she’ll never get the gig on UK telly), but is, nonetheless, photogenic and has lips that could suck the ball into the net and blow a vuvuzela into an alphorn.
UK footy fans will recognise her for her work in pipping Erin Andrews to the title of Sexiest Reporter in the World by FHM USA.
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
Shannon Matthews: Half Truths, Family Fun And Fairy Tales
SHANNON Matthews: Social workers could not have foreseen the abduction of Shannon Matthews by her mother, a serious case review has concluded says the Guardian today.
That was the serious case review by the head of the service which (in the opinion of several other social work team leaders) may very well eventually be found to have failed Shannon…the Kirklees Council’s own social work review team.
The report team’s head Alison O’Sullivan, chair of the board and director for children and young people at Kirklees Council, yesterday said:
“The trigger for the review was, to quote directly, an ‘unusual, unexpected and challenging event.’”
O’Sullivan refused to answer questions on the reasons the family was not on any “at risk” alert despite police insistence that it was necessary.
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Posted: 17th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
Kate Middleton ‘Pregnant’: Prince William Shoots And Scores: Pictures
KATE Middleton is pregnant. So says Star magazine, which claims Middle-class is pregnant by Prince William. And – get this – Kate being pregnant has meant the wedding being delayed. Years from now a toothy cake frosting factory worker will step forward, lush a hand through their mop of jet black hair and claim to be Dolce Windsor. For now, however, Will takes the bad news with a stiff upper lip and a football struck hard and low to his left. He shoots. He impregnates! Unless she isn’t pregnant, in which case, carry on…
Update: A palace spokesperson tells People magazine, the story is “complete nonsense“.
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (5)
Devon James: Tiger Woods Paid ‘Son’s Mother’ For ‘Dirty Sex’: Pictures
DEVON James says she has given Tiger Woods the other son he always wanted. The boy is called Austin T James. Devon James says the ‘T’ is a tribute to the boy’s dad – Austin Todger James?
We know Austin James is Tiger’s boy because Devon says the golfer was “the only African-American man she dated at that time”.
Tiger is Blasian. He is not Afro-American. But he is an untypical golfer who isn’t a brilliant pink, so who can tell?
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Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
World Cup Photos: North Korea Beat Brazil 1-2
WELL done North Korea for beating Brazil 1-2 in the World Cup. Irrespective of ideology, ism and system, North Korea played with strength that has seen the great nation win the World Cup 17 times. Brazil saluted the North Koreans sense of skill and sublime unity by being repelled by the brave and fearless defenders. All pictures of the game will follow (that do, Mr Kim?)…
Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Pirelli Girls Exposed By Very Naked Calendar: Pictures
WHAT do you see when you see the Pirelli Girls calendar (NSFW)? EIZO medical imaging has looked at pictures of naked girls used to illustrate the wonders of a heavy frost in February or the Queen official birthday and ran them through the radiograph. You want naked? You can’t handle naked…
no images were found
Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
The Weirdest Fan Costumes Of The World Cup: In Pictures
ANORAK presents the greatest, weirdest, lamest and I’m-Mad-Me (picture 3) costumes of the South African World Cup. We do not include the costume worn by Cristiano Ronaldo, a hand-made outfit of depilated skin and Touche Eclat body armour. That deserves its own gallery. The winner so far is pictures 6. The Japanese do whacky well (picture 4 – must see). The Germans pull something out the bag (picture 6). And there’s a French cock (picture 9) More to follow…
Big Brother Look-Alikes: Nathan, Bert, Dave And Marc Chapman
BIG Brother is 13 weeks of Davina McCall shouting at an empty room as even Channel 4 realises that the only thing to do with people keen to appear on the dead show is to take the piss out of them – which is why 81 fools arrived to stand in line while 14 of their number made the cruellest cut. OK– not 81 fools. Steve Gill had his legs blown off in Northern Ireland where he was a serving soldier. Steve Gill wins the show. But before you look away, here are a few look-alikes…
Big Brother 11 2010: Housemates In Pictures And Nicknames
Big Brother: Rachael White (Beyonzee) And Corin Forshaw (Fraudon) Flash The Flesh: NSFW
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment
Pictures Of Celebrities Who Put On Weight
WHEN Star Magazine gawped at a voluptuous Jessica Simpson from an unflattering angle and screamed “It’s Not A Fat Suit” we realised why Hollywood stars keep in shape. But can you be a victim if you once sold your wonderful body to the slobbering masses to envy and admire? Here’s a gallery of stars who put on weight and were attacked for it. Featuring: Jessica Simpson, Tyra Banks, Mariah Carey, Kristie Alley, Alec Baldwin, Britney Spears, Kelly LeBrock, Rosie O’Donell, Janet Jackson, Mike Tyson, Kevin Federline, Steven Segal, John Travolta and Val Kilmer…
Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Pictures: Cheryl Cole Attacked With Pen By ‘Crazed Mob’ In Birmingham
CHERYL Cole, wife to World Cup hero Ashley Cole, has been “attacked in the street” by Birmingham’s Hotel du Vin. She is in town for the X Factor auditions.
Yep. What the **** is the nation’s sweetheart doing on a street? Why has she not been attacked in a spa, the First Class lounge at Heathrow Airport or in a palace?
Do we sympathise with her? It Cheryl had not left nation’s sweetheart Ashley Cole to fight for the World Cup alone, she could have been attacked in South Africa, by a lion or hippo, perhaps. Anywhere but the street. It’s just so common.
Cheryl Cole Reunites With Ashley Cole For World Cup: Pictures
Anyhow, what about this attack, what the Mirror calls on its front page:
“Terror at hands of crazed mob?”
Cheryl Cole was badly shaken after a terrifying security breach in which a persistent fan made a lunge at the X Factor judge.
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Foxes Visit Hackney Home Of Mauled Koupparis Twins: Usual Suspects Murdered
KOUPPARIS And The Fox: Lola Kouppparis is back at her home in Hackney, London. Twin sister Isabella Koupparis is out of Great Ormond Street, having returned to The Royal London Hospital.
The Koupparis family ask for privacy. Nick and Pauline want to care for their children. They do not seek publicity.
And the Mail leads with:
Two foxes spotted outside mauled twins’ home
The foxes are hunting in packs. Either that or they are going out in pairs. It’s not a good time to be a fox. Says the Mail:
A fox trots across the front of the home where twin babies were savaged by one of its kind ten days ago.
Even a human presence – in the form a police officer at the front door – doesn’t appear to trouble the animal. Behind the house another one climbs the garden fence.
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Posted: 15th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)
Cristiano Ronaldo In His New Armani Knickers: Pictures
FOR those of you unable to wait for the end of the match to see waxed chests, Christiano Ronaldo has obligingly removed his shirt for Armani underwear. “Shoot!” screams the crowd. And Ronaldo remove his shirt and simpers for the cameras…
Germany Kills The Vuvuzela With Die Surfpoeten: World Cup Solutions
THE Germans – who else? – have come up with an efficient solution to the World Cup nasty – the vuvuzela. Before the vuvuzela is taken from this place and killed, a word from Anorak’s Ed Barrett:
Good things about vuvuzelas.
1. They drown out that fucking horrible England “supporters’ band” playing
“The Great Escape”.
Er, that’s it.
Your guide to ending the vuvuzela (translated from the German in google, rather inefficiently.)
In German:
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Derrick Bird Did It For The Terminator, Love And A Dirty Kitchen Sink
DERRICK Bird: Why he did it – Reasons No. 4312a, b and c: The spurned lover. The dirty kitchen. And The Terminator…
The Daily Star is not focusing on Hon – the Thai non-bride Bird paid for – but Lorraine Nicholas. The headline tells readers:
CUMBRIA KILLINGS: I DUMPED DERRICK BIRD.. SO HE SHOT MY BROTHER
Derrick Bird was dumped by pub cook Lorraine Nicholas after she saw the state of his kitchen
The murders billed as random are getting less so.
Derrick Bird: The CCTV Snuff Movie Goes On Sale: Pictures And Video
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
Bloody Sunday In Pictures: Lord Saville, Lord Widgery, Facts Or Truth?
BLOODY Sunday. It took Lord Saville 12-years to inquire as to what went on in Northern Ireland. In 1972 British Paratroopers killed 13 civilians on a civil rights march in Derry City. How can it take so long? The inquiry has cot the taxpayer just under £200million. Thirteen dead. And the lawyers get the money.
Lord Widgery investigated in the immediate aftermath; an inquiry set up by then Home Secretary, Reginald Maudling. Irish nationalists dismissed it as a whitewash. Widgery’s report spoke of some of the victims being armed. But there was no proof that they were.
Father Edward Daly worked at St Eugene’s Cathedral in Derry. He gave testimony:
“They call themselves an army, it was utterly disgraceful. There was nothing fired at them, I can say that with absolute certainty because I was there.”
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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)
Michael Jackson’s Ghost Seen On TV As Joe Jackson Blames Mum For Death: Pictures
MICHAEL Jackson: Joe Jackson, father of dead (or is he?) singer Michael Jackson is talking about his son. Before he introduces Paris Jackson on stage – and before we get to see La Toya Jackson channeling Jacko’s dead spirit (you cannot miss this) – Joe says he could not reach Michael as well as his mother could have.
Pictures: Michael Jackson Pre-1980
Although he did, allegedly, have enough reach to kick Jacko in the testicles. (The glove. The crotch grab. The shriek – for you, dad.).
Joe Jackson’s Michael Jackson Museum Complex With Gold Rimming
Michael Jackson has been used as the face of child abuse in Brazil – as victim nor perpetrator.
“I couldn’t bottle up my feelings. Katherine didn’t say a word – I had to get away from her. If she’d done what I asked, Michael would be here today. I am incensed with her. She could have made a difference.”
You see pictures of busty mum here.
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Posted: 13th, June 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
World Cup: England Fans Miss The Goal As ITV HD Goes Down
FOR those of you watching the World Cup on ITV in swanky HD, Steven Gerrard scored a goal. He scored while you were watching an advert. He scored in black and white. He scored on the radio. He scored on the web. He scored on the normal telly.
World Cup: Barack Obama Thanks ‘Agent’ Beckham
An ITV spokeswoman says:
“A transmission problem temporarily affected ITV1’s HD service during the England-USA match. ITV standard definition service continued uninterrupted. We apologise for the interruption in transmission.”
Adding: “But what an interruption! The clarity!!”
Posted: 12th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comments (5)
World Cup: England v USA Death Blog (Pictures)
England v USA In Pictures: and Robert Green’s Taibi-esque ricket gives USA a goal to make the scores 1-1. At least Green will feature on the World Cup compilation highlights tape. Forget the live blog. This is a death blog. One more goal to the USA and England are shafted. Anyhow, bring on Theo Walcott!
On a brighter note – you can’t hear the England “supporters’ band” for the vuvuzelas. Small mercies.
Quote of the decade – Steven Gerrard: “You can’t criticise Robert Green.”
Wanna bet?
Posted: 12th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)
World Cup Photos: Vuvuzelas Drown Out England Supporter’s Band
WORLD Cup in Pictures: England plays USA in Rustenberg. The game was memorable for one happy – oh, so happy-happy-happy event: the vuvuzelas drowned out the horrible England “supporters’ band” playing The Great Escape, theme tune of lost causes. Grab you big kazoo and blow for England. Let’s kill off the band once and for all – we’ll have no more orchestrated, pisspoor, tinny renditions of film sound tracks to spice up the match for the telly. Let’s all have a f*****g disco and not invite the band. (Thanks Mick Hume).
The Top Ten Oil-Related Football Chants To Serenade The USA – Oily! Oily! Oily!
