Posts Tagged ‘daily telegraph’
The apostrophe is dead – again
The apostrophe is to become extinct, says the Telegraph, as language becomes less formal.
The Apostrophiser should find more work. The language fan been correcting the misuse of apostrophes in Bristol. He reacted to such horrors as ‘Open Monday’s to Friday’s’, ‘Amys Nail’s’ and ‘Cambridge Motor’s’.
We’ve been here before many times. The Telegraph has pressed f9 on the keyboard and couched up a regular filler:
Have we murdered the apostrophe? – BBC Culture – 2020
“Why the Apostrophe Protection Society has closed in disgust” – Guardian, 2019
“Do apostrophes still matter?” – BBC News, 2019
“Lets get rid of the apostrophe” [sic] – ABC News, 2018
“The apostrophe isn’t dead yet” – The Atlantic, 2014
“What is happening with the apostrophe is that it’s just dying out” – Globe And Mail, 2005
The apostrophe will die out when editors can find something to replace the news of its dying out. And when Waterstone’s bookshop – founder: Tim Waterstone – become Waterstones, the clock is ticking.
Oxford-AstraZenaca : Countdown to Fear
Sorry. No Oxford Astra Zeneca vaccine for you under-30s. Having been linked to extremely rare blood clots in adults, the advice is to chose a different jab, the Pfizer one, say, or Moderna vaccine. But the UK’s medicine regulator (MHRA) says the AZ vaccine is safe and the benefits of taking it outweigh the risks for the “vast majority of people”. You take it if you like. But would you? You’re never ill until you are, at which point everything changes. So try to avoid catching Covid-19, of course. One dose has made some people feel floored for a few days. Imagine what the full-blown illness is like. Get the jab.
Which one would you pick? The MHRA says under-30s with no underlying health conditions should be offered an alternative vaccine “where available”. Vague? How about this – Mr Hancock says there is “no evidence” of rare blood clots after the second dose of the vaccine. If your first was the AZ treatment, you get offered only the same supplier for the second dose.
Dr June Raine, head of the MHRA, says the link between rare blood clots and the AZ jab is “firming up”. She says more evidence is needed to establish any link.
And then things get arbitrary. Use of the AZ vaccine has been stopped in Denmark; restricted for people 60 and over in Germany, Spain and Italy; and only be given to those aged 55 or over in France. Why the differences? And don’t those differences spread uncertainty and fear?
A good time, then, for clear and concise journalism to serve information to the people. Well…
Daily Express: What Iceberg?
The Guardian : Fear the Fear.
Daily Mail: The Patriotic Thrombosis
The Times: Johnson Knows
The Sun: What Are The Odds (With A Corona Lager Chaser)
The Telegraph: Neil Astles, 59, died. He suffered 10 days of worsening headaches and loss of vision after receiving a first dose of the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine.
“We are still shocked at the loss of our brother… from my own perspective, I sat and watched [England’s deputy chief medical officer] Professor Van Tam yesterday on the news talking about the clot risk and the benefits to population of having the vaccine,” Neil Astles sister Alison told ITV.
“And as I sat there and watched him, it occurred to me that my family and me were in a particularly unique situation to give a very strong public health message about this.
“Because it’s not statistics to us, it’s an actual, loved human being who died.
“At the same time, I still believe that for the vast, vast majority of us the safest way forward is for people to have the vaccine, because that in the end will save the most lives.”
The i: No. That wasn’t what was said.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 8th, April 2021 | In: Broadsheets, News, Tabloids | Comment
Prince Harry attends Oprah while Philip so sick
How can Prince Harry go ahead with his ‘o me miserum’ interview with US TV empress Oprah Winfrey when his grandfather is “so sick”? The Mail’s Richard Kay’s question is rhetorical. He provides no list of alternative answers. The inference is that only one response is needed: Harry’s a traitor. A dead grandparent is ok for getting a day off school, and it should stop you from going on the telly to talk about your mum.
The Telegraph is the only other mainstream paper to lead with the Oprah interview, in which Harry comes over wetter than an otter’s pocket. The former lad who dressed as a Nazi for laughs, used the word “Paki” and got naked playing pool in Las Vegas is now middle-aged, woke and taking time out from whatever it is he does to talk about his “incredibly hard” life. No need to editorialise. The episode is needy, entitled and narcissistic. It’s pretty what being a celeb is all about.
The Telegraph quotes an unnamed source saying the Palace is worried about Philip’s ailing health (he’s 99) and couldn’t give a stuff about Harry and Meghan’s’s televised chat with Oprah Winfrey. It does this on its front page. No comment is very much a comment. The Telegraph expects its readers to care.
Should Philip die the day Harry and Meghan attend to Oprah airs, there will be much weeping and wailing at a smart residence in one of LA’s gated ghettos. The old sod will have stolen their limelight. And then the real problems begin for Harry should it dawn on Oprah and Hollywood bigshots that the big scoop was rubbish, serving up a moist tissue to a tired, struggling, impoverished and cynical public. The Harry & Meghan show is the spin-off soap opera no-one watched. Because without the rest of The Munsters, Harry and Meghan are pretty uninteresting. All eyes on the funeral, then, when absentees will be newsworthy.
Posted: 2nd, March 2021 | In: News, Royal Family | Comment
Covid-19 : Armageddon did not begin in Bournemouth
When the fist lockdown was ended, we headed to beaches. But the ‘Covidiots’ never did spread Covid-19 on Bournemouth’s golden sands. SAGE epidemiologist Mark Woolhouse tells the House of Commons Science and Technology Committee that crowded beaches did not lead to a single outbreak last summer.
“Over the summer we were treated to pictures of crowded beaches, and there was an outcry about this, but there were no outbreaks linked to crowded beaches… there has never been a Covid-19 outbreak linked to a beach ever anywhere in the world, to the best of my knowledge.”
What did the papers and say? The Indy and Telegraph were scathing:
One local MP was hot on Covid. Tobias Ellwood new the rules:
Later…
As you were.
Posted: 17th, February 2021 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
Covid-19: A Shot at freedom but new war on NHS looms
Covid-19 has infected pretty much the entire country’s mainstream media with support for the Government’s upbeat diagnoses. With Brexit done, the UK’s negotiators can sit down with Covid-19 and hammer out a deal. You might suppose the virus is setting the agenda, but Priti Patel, the Home Secretary, says the country is “ahead of the curve”. Where Britain goes Covid follows – whether we go train, jet or big red bus.
Take the Labour-supporting Daily Mirror‘s lead news story. “Lockdowns could end as soon as February if the Oxford vaccine gets the nod from regulators within days,” says the tabloid. Could. If. Circumspection get thee hence. This is a “SHOT AT FREEDOM” – rather like the other vaccine lots of Britons have been injected with, which was also a shot at freedom.
At least the Express deals in fact, declaring, “WE WILL BE FREE BY FEBRUARY.” Fact. Well, if the regulators approve the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine, which could happen…
The Daily Telegraph and Daily Mail deliver the numbers: 10,000 medics and volunteers have been recruited by the NHS to help deliver the freedom vaccine. You can get the jab in sports stadiums and racecourses, says the Telegraph. The Mail suggests getting “a jab in your village hall”. (You getting an insight into how papers view their readers?)
An unnamed source tells the paper: “The vaccine is the way to make us safe and get us through this pandemic. We are throwing the kitchen sink at it”. Now wash your hands at the standpipe.
There is one dissenting voice. The Guardian looks at other ‘coulds’ and ‘ifs’. Dr Adrian James, president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, says Covid-19 poses the greatest threat to mental health since World War Two. But even that’s not scary enough so the Guardian mutates his opinion into: “NHS urged to prepare for ‘biggest threat since world war’.”
As war looms, the Guardian says war continues. NHS staff have been denied the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine, leaving doctors “scrabbling” to get immunised. A survey of medics finds “fear the government’s decision to prioritise over-80s and care home staff over health workers has left them at risk of catching the disease”.
The remedy is clear: get some Sun.
It’s gonna be great.
Posted: 28th, December 2020 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
Covid-19 vaccine: Britain is world leader at panic buying
The Sun says Britain “beat the world to get a vaccine”. The Telegraph says the UK “leads the Western world” and talks of “Covid Liberation Day”. We’re “first in the WORLD” says the Mail. The jab is a marker in “victory over Covid-19” adds the Sun. It is “V-Day” guffs the Metro.
How the UK beat the world is by judging the Pfizer/BioNTech safe for use and ordering millions of doses of the stuff. We bought it first! The UK rules the world at queuing and possibly panic buying – although we’re not told which if any other nations were also standing in line. Was it just us?
Why the UK is first is unexplained. Was it a political decision? Did Brexit make us first?
The Daily Express accuses the European Medical Agency of “sour grapes” for criticising the UK’s “speedy approval” of the vaccine. Ministers say Brexit had “freed” the country from Brussels red tape. The medical regulator insists it had been working under European law. The virus is a propaganda tool. Mass death and fear always hosted political capital.
One minister tweeted that this is the moment Britain “led humanity’s charge against this disease”. Germany’s ambassador to Britain replied: “Why is it so difficult to recognize this important step forward as a great international effort and success.” Britain is governed by EU law, so argument is a specious one.
The upshot is that Britain’s medicines regulator, the MHRA, says the jab, which offers up to 95% protection against Covid-19 illness, is safe. So there it is. A vaccine designed in the USA and made in Belgium is billed as a victory for the UK and a jab in the eye to Johnny Foreigner. A medicine passed safe for human use after ten months rather than the ten years a drug typically takes to get approval is fine. You might even get one in time for Christmas, says the Sun, positioning the vaccine as a kind of seasonal gift. Perfume for her. Gadget for him. Needle in the arm for granny.
Health secretary Matt Hancock says the vaccine “is a triumph for all those who believe in science”. Believe. Not trust in human ingenuity. But actually believe in science, like you would believe in a religion. And the UK is science’s most loyal disciple.
And so to the jab. Downing Street press secretary Allegra Stratton says Boris Johnson would not rule out receiving the vaccine jab live on television. And there’s the rub: it’s a PR matter. The vaccine is coming. But do you want it?
And so to the jab. Downing Street press secretary Allegra Stratton says Boris Johnson would not rule out receiving the vaccine jab live on television. And there’s the rub: it’s a PR matter. The vaccine is coming. But do you want it?
PS: Maybe they inject Boris with a truth serum?
Posted: 3rd, December 2020 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
Not an Indian, possibly a Jew: The Unknown Soldier might be British says expert
The Unknown Soldier is British. He – yes, a it’s a ‘he’ – was shipped back from France and buried in Westminster Abbey on November 11, 1920. We do not know who he was. He is, as the name suggests, unknown. But there’s now a problem. The Telegraph notes:
Unknown Warrior likely to be white soldier because of ‘bias’, research suggests The National Army Museum suggested bias may have influenced the selection of the body whose remains were interred at Westminster Abbey
The British Unknown Soldier is most likely British. A curator named Justin Saddington tells us that he’s found that meeting minutes of the Memorial Committee tasked with creating the tomb “show no mention of Indian and other soldiers”. He says:
“That should be taken as evidence of unconscious bias really, that fact that they’re not discussed. This is a time 100 years ago when racism was much more ingrained, there was in fact a colour bar for black officers.”
But he is British. Black British, possibly. A British Jew, maybe? But not Indian, right? And then in the Mail:
He added that he doesn’t believe outright racism played a part but that those involved in choosing the unidentifiable body may have been influenced by demands for ‘British’ remains.
Over to Wikipedia:
The idea of a Tomb of the Unknown Warrior was first conceived in 1916 by the Reverend David Railton, who, while serving as an army chaplain on the Western Front, had seen a grave marked by a rough cross, which bore the pencil-written legend ‘An Unknown British Soldier’.
He wrote to the Dean of Westminster in 1920 proposing that an unidentified British soldier from the battlefields in France be buried with due ceremony in Westminster Abbey “amongst the kings” to represent the many hundreds of thousands of Empire dead. The idea was strongly supported by the Dean and the Prime Minister David Lloyd George.
So it’s a British soldier buried beneath the words “An Unknown British Soldier”. Who knew?
CLUE: The Unknown Soldier features this inscription, composed by Herbert Edward Ryle, Dean of Westminster:
Beneath this stone rests the body
Of a British warrior
Unknown by name or rank
Brought from France to lie among
The most illustrious of the land
And buried here on Armistice Day
11 Nov: 1920, in the presence of
His Majesty King George V
His Ministers of State
The Chiefs of his forces
And a vast concourse of the nation
Thus are commemorated the many
Multitudes who during the Great
War of 1914 – 1918 gave the most that
Man can give life itself
For God
For King and country
For loved ones home and empire
For the sacred cause of justice and
The freedom of the world
They buried him among the kings because he
Had done good toward God and toward
His house
Madeleine McCann: maybe the German in the van took her – or maybe not
There’s a new suspect in the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. It’s a 43-year-old German man. No need to look for him. He’s already in prison. German media has identified him as ‘Christian B’. Hans Christian Wolters, from the Braunschweig Public Prosecutor’s Office, says: “We are assuming that the girl is dead. With the suspect, we are talking about a sexual predator who has already been convicted of crimes against little girls and he’s already serving a long sentence.”
The story leads the news cycle. The Times says he’s a “paedophile”. The Telegraph says it’s the “biggest breakthrough yet”. It’s “time to nail” him, says the Star. Great news. And it is – until you get the facts… How can you charge a man with a crime with no evidence he committed one – and no evidence any crime took place?
The Mail and Sun both lead with questions. “Did German take Maddie in this van?” wonders the Sun, making the suspect’s nationality a key part of the story. “Have they found man who took Maddie?” asks the Mail.
And one more question: did police working on Operation Grange keep the story from media until coronavirus had been washed from the front pages? Was it done to help their appeal for anyone who saw the man or his van to come forward? If they did, it’s worked. Did they also want to show us that for £11m, the cost of the investigation so far, you get results?
The BBC leads its story by telling us, “He is believed to have been in the area where Madeleine was last seen, when she disappeared in Portugal 13 years ago.” Believed by..? “Someone out there knows a lot more than they’re letting on,” says Det Chief Inspector Mark Cranwell.
So did you see a man with a camper van in Portugal 13 years ago? He has short short blond hair and about 6ft tall with a slim build at the time. German and British police have spoken with him about Madeleine but he’s not confessed.
Time to review the evidence:
The Express says he was known to be in Praia da Luz when Madeleine McCann vanished. He had 30-minute phone conversation with a “mystery caller” the night Madeleine went missing. The day after Madeleine vanished in 2007, the suspect transferred the Jaguar to someone else’s name. The BBC says this is “suspicious”.
On the night of the vanishing, he received a phone call at 7.32pm, which ended at 8.02pm. Madeleine is believed to have disappeared between 9.10pm and 10pm that evening.
The Telegraph says he’s a multiple child sex offender.
The Mail says the suspect was renting a “ramshackle farm building” two miles from Praia da Luz where the McCann family were holidaying.
German police also suggested there “may” have been other people involved who are still at large, says the Mail. As one German officer puts: “There is reason to assume that there are other persons, apart from the suspect, who have concrete knowledge of the course of the crime and maybe also of the place where the body was left.”
It all adds up to a lot of belief, assumption and maybe. Plus ca change.
And you can help find Maddie. Scotland Yard is launching a joint appeal with German and Portuguese police with a £20,000 reward for information that leads to the conviction of the person responsible for Madeleine’s. Remember when the reward was huge and the innocent girl who became the media’s ‘Our Maddie’ was spotted in: Canada,Italy, Sweden, Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Majorca,Belgium, Bosnia, France, Australia, Brazil,Wales, Malta, Italy, Germany, Australia, France, India, Dubai, Dorset, USA and New Zealand (taken there by boat).
The last word is with the parents who issue this statement:
“We would like to thank the police forces involved for their continued efforts in the search for Madeleine. All we have ever wanted is to find her, uncover the truth and bring those responsible to justice. We will never give up hope of finding Madeleine alive, but whatever the outcome may be, we need to know as we need to find peace.”
Madeleine McCann is missing.
Posted: 4th, June 2020 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News | Comment
George Floyd was ‘murdered’ but whodunnit?
The death of George Floyd has been televised the world over. But who to blame for what his alleged murder? The Telegraph leads with Donald’s Trump’s role in the story. “Trump race row as police officer is charged,” runs the front-page headline. ‘George who?’ ask Tele readers.
Trump says Mr Floyd deserves “justice”. He also says that “looters should not be allowed to drown out the voices of so many peaceful protesters”. And he also guffed: “”When the looting starts, the shooting starts.” Which sounds like a threat and a glorification of violence, no?
The head of the African Union Commission, Moussa Faki Mahamat, spoke out about what he called the “murder” of Floyd and said his organisation rejects the “continuing discriminatory practices against black citizens of the USA”.
The Guardian says it’s “America blaze“. “Fury erupts over police killing in US.” A police officer was killed? No. A police officer named Derek Chauvin (44; armed; white) thought it fair to place his knee onto the neck of George Floyd (46; unarmed; handcuffed; complaining of being unable to breathe; suspected of tying to use a counterfeit $20 note; black) for little under nine minutes. If the video of the incident doesn’t make you angry, you may need to check your angle.
And get this: sources says Mr Chauvin and Mr Floyd had both worked as bouncers at the same nightclub venue. Did they know one another?
What o justice? Derek Chauvin has been charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. Hennepin County Prosecutor Mike Freeman says, “This is by far the fastest that we’ve ever charged a police officer.” Looks like video evidence gets results. So too anger. Stay angry.
Are the police contrite?
The last word for now is from Killer Mike:
Coronavirus: nearly half of all Brits have had Covid-19; government to attack fat people
The news on Coronavirus is positive. More than 19 million Britons may already have been infected with the virus, say researchers at Manchester University. It’s the lead story in the Mirror. Better news is that 1,000 people have been injected with a vaccine and it’s “so far so good” (Metro). We could have a vaccine this summer (Express). Oh – and get this – new antibody test are found to be 100% accurate in stating if someone has already had the virus (i). And in London, signs are that the virus is dying out. Fewer than 24 people are catching coronavirus each day in London (Telegraph). Analysis by Cambridge University estimates the R reproduction rate of the virus to have fallen to 0.4 in London, with the number of new cases halving every 3.5 days. If you don’t know what the R number means, this should help:
Most newspaper leads with the positive news. But the Guardian talks of “chaos”, leading with allegations that a private firm contracted to run the government’s stockpile of personal protective equipment was hit by “chaos” at its warehouse.
And as for the risk of dying from Covid-19, the Sun leads with news that a quarter of those killed by the bug have diabetes. A double-whammy for them. Overweight and obese people are at increased risk of diabetes, hypertension and heart disease.
So the Times leads with news that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is readying a “much more interventionist” approach to tackle obesity as part of the fight against coronavirus. Can the Government make Covid-19 part of the decades long drive to turn the fat social pariahs? Of course they can. They always do. But people do have the right to be fat.
And do medical practitioners want to tell people they are too fat? And what is ‘too fat’? At least one medic finds it easy to tell:
Full spin ahead: Biased media covers the PM’s coronavirus update
Can you spin the coronavirus to make a story favourable to your own political agenda? As James Ball (@jamesrbuk) puts it: ‘Half of twitter’s idea of a good question to Number 10: “How many more people will you murder for the profit of your donors, Boris Johnson.” Other half: “Do you have a message for a grateful nation, oh heroic prime minister?”’
Most of the papers lead on Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s plans for the next stage of the UK’s response to the coronavirus outbreak, ones he outlined in his first televised statement since recovering from Covid-19. The Times listens to the latest briefing and says the PM will reveal a “limited” set of changes to the lockdown “within days”. Plans include allowing shops selling “not-essential” items to reopen, it says, although schools will stay closed until June.
The Daily Mirror says that after more than four weeks of being indoors, people have been given some hope over a return to normality. “Not much longer”, is the paper’s front page headline. The i headline says there’s “hope in sight”. The BBC’s political editor Laura Kuenssberg writes: “Boris Johnson’s statement at the lectern this morning was a request to the public to be patient, to keep going, to hold firm through the frustrations of living life mainly behind closed doors for a while longer.
Or as the Telegraph puts it:
Thankfully you can hear Johnson not saying ‘it’s time to fire up the engines’ without the Daily Telegraph’s filter:
Such are the facts.
Posted: 28th, April 2020 | In: News, Politicians | Comment
Newspaper editor begs to be on Harry and Meghan’s censorship list
Now that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have banned tabloid newspapers and the wrong kind of readers from keeping up to date with their wokeness, branding (Archie of Archewell) and trips to Sicily (mode of travel: barefoot), Vancouver (seaplane), the south of France (Rocket Man), Davos (hot air), and Los Angeles (flying yoga mat), journalists on other titles look on with envy. Why can’t Harry and Meghan ban us from receiving press releases about their lives and elitism, they wail. Former Daily Telegraph editor Charles Moore has issued such a plea.
Posted: 22nd, April 2020 | In: News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment
Boris Johnson : the 30-day spin
When Boris Johnson met German Chancellor Angela Merkel, the outcome was, depending on your spin, a pledge to do a Brexit deal in 30 days or a threat to end it all after just 30 days. The backstop – the hope of avoiding a hard Irish border – can be re-negotiated. Maybe.
But as big as the story of politicking is, the remarkable bit is the realisation that even the Labour supporting Mirror now calls the Prime Minister ‘Boris’ and leads with an image of him looking jovial.
The Daily Express calls Merkel’s move “a major concession; The Sun says it is an “opportunity”. The i says Merkel has given “orders”. The Daily Telegraph says the PM has scored “a victory”. The Mail says Johnson could be “on the brink of a triumphant breakthrough”. The Guardian says Merkel has put “the responsibility for the UK crashing out of the EU firmly at the prime minister’s door”. The Financial Times hears the leader of German parliament’s foreign affairs committee says Johnson is using Merkel to show the British he had tried everything, so he could then blame EU when it all goes wrong.
Such is the spin.
Posted: 22nd, August 2019 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Knife Crime: stop and search wanted; austerity blamed; a Government licence to carry a knife
The Times is alone in not leading with knife crime. For all other national newspapers the biggest story is of “warzones on our streets” (Express) and what the Government can and cannot do about teenagers being stabbed to death.
The Telegraph wants police to be given stop-and-search powers. Readers see a photo of school friends of stabbing victim Yousef Makki embracing. Yousef, a pupil at Manchester Grammar school, was stabbed to death in Gorse Bank Road, Hale Barns, near Altrincham, on Saturday. Two 17-year-old boys have been arrested on suspicion of murder.
Are more police the answer to the “knife crime epidemic’? The Guardian says it is. The paper says there is a link between stabbings and reduced police numbers brought about by austerity. “How many more, Mrs May?” asks the Mirror, blaming the Prime Minister for 27 murders.
But is that why 27 teenagers have been knifed to death this year, because there are not enough police to control them? Surely there’s something more at the root of the matter than control? May says there is “no direct correlation between certain crimes and police numbers”. So certain crimes police are powerless to stop? Focus less on knife crime, perhaps, and more on people not paying their TV licence, doing 34mph in a 30mph zone and saying nasty things online.
Maybe the State could issue licences for people to own a knife, making a nice little earner from the horror and hitting the perps where the Government likes to hit them hardest: in their pockets?
Nuts? One other proposal for knife control was floated:
A judge wants the points of kitchen knives to be rounded and blunted to reduce the number of young men dying from stab wounds in street attacks.
Judge Nic Madge said ordinary kitchen knives were causing a “soaring loss of life”, rather than more heavily regulated large-bladed weapons… Kitchens contain lethal knives which are potential murder weapons and only butchers and fishmongers need eight or 10 inch kitchen knives with points,” the judge said.
Knives for only those who need them? Look out for the looming fork crime epidemic.
Posted: 5th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
Chelsea Balls: Sarri sacked by Monday; Steve Holland and Rakitic in
Farewell, then, Maruizio Sarri. Or not. The Telegraph joins the chorus of newspapers claiming Sarri is to be sacked by Chelsea very soon. The paper says Chelsea are considering appointing England assistant manager Steve Holland if they sack head coach Maurizio Sarri next week.
How strange it must be to work at Chelsea and not quite every fully unpack your bags. But the severance pay is good. Which might be why the Sun says former Real Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane is in line to become the new manager at Stamford Bridge. The paper says the great Frenchman “could” have £200m to spend during the Blues’ appeal against a transfer ban. Or to put it another way: he could have loadsa money but no-one to spend it on.
If Zidane does arrive and is able to hire new talent, the Sun says the Blues will move to sign Barcelona’s 30-year-old Croatia midfielder Ivan Rakitic. The ban does not prevent players from leaving the club. So also expect to hear a lot about Eden Hazard consider the kind of contact they used to offer supermodels to get out of bed.
Posted: 23rd, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment
Manchester United balls: Anthony Martial and the moving goalposts
Anthony Martial is making news on the front and back pages. The Sun tells us that Martial is due a call up to his national side: “Anthony Martial’s return to form will cost Man Utd £8.7m after France recall.”
Good for him. But why will hi success cost United so much money?
Martial’s deal from Monaco in 2015 included an add-on triggered by 25 caps for his national team. He needs to play 45 minutes in the game for an appearance to count and is so far on 11 before losing his place in Deschamps’ squad for the World Cup. The France boss is now considering a recall for next month’s European Championship qualifiers against Moldova and Iceland – and Martial could hit the 25-cap mark before the end of the 2020 campaign including finals.
Really? No. Here’s the Daily Telegraph:
The France forward’s 76th minute equaliser at Old Trafford on Saturday was his 25th Premier League goal for the club and triggered a clause in his contract entitling his former club Monaco to a €10 million (£8.73 million) windfall.
United paid Monaco an initial £36 million when they signed Martial in September 2015 but the cost of the transfer has now risen to what is expected to be a final fee of £44.73 million.
The French club had a longer wait than they might have expected for the additional sum, though, since Martial had been stuck on 24 league goals for more than eight months. His previous league goal was against Burnley on January 20.
Under the terms of the original deal, Monaco were due two further payments of £8.73 million each if Martial played 25 games for France and was nominated for the Ballon d’Or before the end of the current 2018/19 season. Yet with Martial not among the Ballon d’Or nominees announced this week and out of favour for France, for whom he has played 18 times, seven games short of the stipulated target, neither clause will be met.
And the Mirror in March 2018:
…back in 2015, Monaco president Vadim Vasilyev proudly announced: “The price for Martial is £57.6million but take into account this sum includes bonuses, which are very realistic.” Manchester United included three bonuses amounting to £7.2million each in the deal to sign Martial – all of which must be triggered by 2019…
United agreed to pay Monaco an additional £7.2million if the France international scores 25 Premier League goals for the Red Devils before 2019..
Prior to joining Manchester United, the talented 22-year-old forward had already made seven appearances for France. The Red Devils agreed that should Martial feature in an additional 25 games while representing the Old Trafford club, they would again fork out £7.2million.
The target is not 25 international matches but 32. Such are the facts…
Posted: 22nd, February 2019 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Labour: ‘What Antisemitism crisis?’; Corbyn’s 12 apostles get busted
The Labour antisemitism “crisis” – which isn’t – appears on just one front page. The Daily Telegraph leads with the “Labour antisemitism crisis”. But not one of the Corbyn cronies running Labour thinks Jew hatred in it ranks is a crisis. They see it as an issue, bigger than dog poo on the pavements but smaller than getting the trains to run on time and keeping Diane Abbott off the telly.
At a recent meeting of the Labour party – one so important that the party’s leader, Jeremy Corbyn, didn’t bother to attend; and neither did Labour General Secretary Jennie Formby, who instead wrote a letter saying how she thinks Jew hatred is wrong. She says that as a result of hundreds of instances of antisemitism in the party – some of which were probably investigated by a crack team of party loyalists [insert small number here] – 12 members were kicked out. Kick out JC’s apostles. Raus! To the trains!
PS: Odd that the only national newspaper at the vanguard of sticking up for Jews caught once again in the maw of rising antisemitism is the Telegraph. This is how the paper responded to one recent complaint:
This article [HYPERLINKED] of 26 September published in Telegraph Travel originally stated that only Cuba, North Korea and Iran do not have a central bank owned or controlled by the Rothschild family. We accept that this is an anti-Semitic trope, although it was not included by the writer with anti-Semitic intent. We obviously accept that it was inaccurate and offensive, however, and we are very sorry that it found its way into our output. It has been redacted from the article.
Antisemitism – you’re never more than a click away from the stuff.
Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment
Sir Philip Green allegedly paid woman £1m for kissing and groping her
The injunctions are dead. Sir Philip Green wanted the law to prevent the Daily Telegraph from revealing details of alleged sexual and racial abuse against him. Today the paper leads with allegations that the fashion mogul paid five staff members of staff at his Arcadia Group money to keep shtum. One female employee was allegedly paid more than £1m to keep quiet after she accused him of kissing and groping her. All five signed non-disclosure agreements (NDA) stating they would not repeat their allegations.
Green denies allegations he behaved wrongly. His lawyers argue he was a “passionate businessman” who “can at times be exuberant and hot-headed”. Green “categorically denies any unlawful… sexual behaviour”. He also denied any “unlawful… racist behaviour”.
The Daily Mail looks at Green’s legal bill. He has, says the paper, “started a new war with accusers”. They should honour the NDAs or face “further legal actions and significant losses”.
Sir Philip said the law “recognised that the signatories to the non-disclosure agreements have ongoing obligations to honour those agreements, which they entered into willingly after receiving full independent legal advice about their rights and responsibilities”.
The BBC outlines the claims:
A female employee received more than £1m after Sir Philip groped her, kissed her, called her a “naughty girl” and made comments about her weight
A black male employee received £1m after Sir Philip mocked his dreadlocks and suggested he was “throwing spears in the jungle”
A female employee received hundreds of thousands of pounds after Sir Philip sexually harassed her and grabbed her face
A female employee received hundreds of thousands of pounds after Sir Philip put her in a headlock and groped her waist
A male employee left his role with one month’s pay shortly after Sir Philip smashed his mobile phone
The Telegraph is gunning for Green. Will other leading businessmen and figures – say, Royals – get the same attention?
Posted: 9th, February 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News | Comment
Daily Telegraph subs confuse Jemima Khan with Jemima Lewis
Jemima Lewis is the Daily Telegraph’s radio critic and columnist. Jemima Khan isn’t. The Daily Telegraph is no longer sub-edited in house. Not that you’d notice…
Posted: 16th, January 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment
After Strasbourg: Chérif Chekatt is a Moroccan, an Algerian and a Frenchman in Syria
A “gunman” shot three people dead and injured 12 others at Strasbourg’s Christmas market. The Guardian says gunman is “a 29-year-old born in Strasbourg”. And that is all. Any idea why he did it? One day on and the paper tells us the wanted man is what the French call “gangster-jihadists”. His name is Chérif Chekatt. He is from a family “with Moroccan roots”. He moved into “Islamic extremism”. What else do we know?
Disappointing to see BBC and Sky News lead with “Allahu Akbar” in their headline on the awful shooting in #Strasbourg vs. ITV and Al Jazeera who are being far more responsible.
This matters and it’s wrong. pic.twitter.com/62rEDMVbdq
— Miqdaad Versi (@miqdaad) December 12, 2018
At what point do you report that the suspect is an Islamist?
The Express makes it plain on its page 2, the headline reads: “Massive hunt for Islamist who shot three dead.” He’s a career criminal (paragraph 1) and “radical Islamist” (paragraph 2). He is “of Algerian descent”. Not Moroccan? Or is it all the same – British, Irish, German – all much of a muchness? Another report tells us Islamic State terrorists target shoppers, including those in Britain.
The Mirror features the story on page 11. The headline tells of the “gunman who killed two”. He is an Islamic terrorist (paragraph 1). He “screamed Allahu Akbar” before opening fire (paragraph 3). Again we read of the fear that Islamic State supporters will attack shoppers in the UK. The threat is ranked as “severe”. what he said and why he said it appears to be relevant.
The Sun calls Chekatt a “French terror fiend” He is a “butcher”. We read that he yelled Alluahu Akbar in paragraph 5. He is of “Algerian decent”. He’s been jailed in Free, Germany and Switzerland.
The Daily Mail calls him the ‘Xmas killer”. In paragraph 5 we learn that Allah Akbar man ‘god is great’ in Arabic. Only the Mail mentions the victims. One is a Thai tourist called Anupong Suebsamarn. We’re told Chekatt “was radicalised in a French jail”. But we don’t know that to be true. The Mail then adds a touch of Brexit, noting, “Free movement rules mean he would not have to show a passport” if he closed the border into Germany. The paper says Cherkatt’s parents are Algerian. At no point does the Mail use the words Islam, Muslim or Islamist or Islamism. Chekatt’s religion is not mentioned.
In “Strasbourg shooting: What we know so far”, the BBC refers to Chekatt as a “gunman”. It is only in paragraph 7 we get a possible motive: “Along the way he opened fire several times and also used a knife to seriously wound and kill people, Mr Heitz added, saying the suspect yelled “Allahu Akbar” (“God is greatest” in Arabic) during the rampage.” His religion is not mentioned.
The Telegraph finds space to add: “Investigators are trying to establish whether Mr Chekatt travelled to Syria or Iraq to join an Islamist group, or whether he was radicalised entirely in France, according to sources close to the case.”
Such are the facts.
Posted: 13th, December 2018 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
Brexit: Theresa May keeps her powder dry as drips and storm clouds gather
How do you illustrate Brexit? The papers go with a photo by Daniel Leal-Olivas. The front pages feature a picture of Theresa May beneath a black umbrella. Her eyes are looking at the ground. We are approaching the “End of May’s reign”, says the Daily Mirror. “Tory rivals line up to oust May”, says the i. They’ve been lining up for so long a few have passed out. Someone should check their pulse. May’s not sheltering from a storm beneath that brolly – she’s keeping the drips off.
The Times hears “a leading Tory” MP says he “believes” Conservative MPs will file the 48 letters needed to trigger a confidence vote in her leadership. He also believes, allegedly, in free school dinners, man-made climate change, the Jews did it and the youthful effects of grey beards. Another anonymous MP tells the Daily Telegraph May knows she will not win Tuesday’s vote.
May, he says, reminds him of Charles Dickens’ Wilkins Micawber, who was forever insisting that “something will turn up”. Micawber also says: “Welcome poverty!..Welcome misery, welcome houselessness, welcome hunger, rags, tempest, and beggary! Mutual confidence will sustain us to the end!” Hurrah for the eternal optimist. The poor live fuller lives than the rich. Bring it on. And if it fails, we can all leave for a new life in Australia.
As MPs dust off their York Notes to kick up a quote in place of original thought, readers wonder why they should chose to appear anonymous whilst sticking the knife in. The MPs’ vanity is clear – these people actually believe the great unwashed know who the hell they are. Dream on.
But there is a plan. The Sun commands May to head to Brussels and demand further concessions. The Mail agrees. And the Express. Well, it alone supports May.
Eyes up, Theresa. Keep yer powder dry. The sunny uplands await us.
Posted: 10th, December 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment
Carl Beech is ‘Nick’: VIP paedophile accuser ‘unmasked’ in court
Meet Carl Beech. You know him by his nom-de-plume ‘Nick’, the man who claimed child murdering VIP paedophiles were operating with impunity in and around Westminster. The Times “revealed” Mr Beech has been an “ex‑school governor” – you know, one of those adults who actually enjoy playing at schools. It was Nick who told us, often via the Daily Mirror’s titles, about pedophile “rings” – child sex abusers always appear in ‘rings’ because it satisfies our love for a conspiracy. Anyhow, Nick, sorry, Carl’s not in the news because he’s a dad of one “who formerly lived with his mother” (spoiler: most of us did), is “a Church of England priest” and worked as an NHS nurse, rather the 50-year-old whose claims triggered Scotland Yard to launch Operation Midland is being tested in court. Mr Beech, faces 12 charges of perverting the course of justice and one of fraud after the collapse of one of the Metropolitan Police’s most prominent inquiries. We know his real name because yesterday a judge at Newcastle Crown Court lifted an anonymity order.
He is accused of profiting from alleged lies about murder, abuse and torture by fraudulently claiming £22,000 from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority. His identity can be revealed after legal restrictions were lifted… Mr Beech is accused of deceiving detectives over four years with false claims of a historical paedophile ring made up of senior politicians, military members and other prominent figures.
On the word of Nick, a desperate Scotland Yard blew £2.5 million (in the Sun it rises to £3m) on an inquiry that besmirched Lord Bramall, 94, a former chief of the defence staff, and Harvey Proctor, 71, a former Conservative MP. Both are entirely innocent. Two other former top Tories, Sir Edward Heath and Lord Brittan of Spennithorne, are also innocent. Although they’re dead – and one thing we know about corpses is that they unlikely to defend themselves and mud sticks.
Like former PM Heath, Operation Midland is also dead. Sir Richard Henriques, a retired High Court judge, read the bilge and told us that it was “littered with errors”. Of course, if you love a conspiracy, well, it was all to be expected. Better to equip the police with flaming torches and thumb screws.
For someone once so verbose, Mr Beech spoke only once in the dock. He answered “I am” when asked whether he was Carl Beech. the court will see him again on February 11 for a pre-trial hearings.
You might suppose the Mirror and its sister title The People would be all over this story. You’d be mistaken. There is a ‘Nick’ on the paper’s front page. But it’s TV presenter Nick Knowles now appearing in ITV’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! The otherNick – Carl Beech – is nowhere. Not a word. Nothing.
Not that the Sun goes large on Nick. He’s on page 22 and 23. The Mail slaps ‘Nick’ all over Page 5. Beech’s barrister tells us: “We expect the matter will be fully contested.” It’d be useful, too, if the role of the police was investigated. Why did they follow up Mr Beech’s claims with such gusto?
Posted: 4th, December 2018 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Manchester United, Spurs and Chelsea in a ‘bidding war’ for Ake
Manchester United, Spurs and Chelsea are all in for Netherlands international Nathan Ake, 23. Well, so says the BBC. And United and Spurs “will have to wait” to see if Chelsea want to re-sign the player they sold to Bournemouth. So that’s three top clubs who all want Ake in a story that has taken on a life of its own.
Over in the Telegraph we learn that as part of Ake’s £20 million transfer to Bournemouth, Chelsea negotiated “a gentleman’s agreement that would allow them to re-sign him for a fee of around £40m”. What utter tosh. Football club’s do not employ lawyers on multi-million pound deals to work with a handshake. And then this:
There has not yet been any sign that Chelsea are ready to try to take Ake back to Stamford Bridge and any move to re-sign him would have to be agreed by the player. But a summer bid from either Spurs or United would force Bournemouth to offer Chelsea the opportunity to make a move and leave the other two clubs sweating.
This transfer news is tosh. But that doesn’t top the Express from milking the balls to produce the gem: “Man Utd news: Nathan Ake transfer battle takes fresh twist, Chelsea hold the key.”
When asked if he’d read the story of his transfer to Spurs, Ake told Football Oranje: “I’ve also seen it pass by, but of course it’s rumours. At the moment I play everything at Bournemouth and that goes well, so I focus on that. If I’ve already signed in London? No, certainly not. This does not say much about my status yet, they are rumours that come on the internet and as long as I do not hear anything myself, I will not go into that.” The story on the Dutch website was titled: “Ake to Tottenham: its only rumours.”
Mentions of Manchester United: nil. The story is about interest from Spurs. But the Daily Star hears the same words and manages to report:”NATHAN AKE has addressed the rumours surrounding his future amid reported interest from Manchester United.” In The Metro it’s: “Nathan Ake speaks out on Manchester United transfer speculation.” “Nathan Ake breaks silence on Manchester United speculation as Bournemouth defender addresses future,” chimes the Mirror.
All newspapers connive to omit the part where Ake says he’s not signed “in London“. Worse still, the Metro thunders: “Man Utd transfer news: Nathan Ake responds to Jose Mourinho interest.” Words from Mourinho: zero. But as the Mail says in a story about a “bidding war” for Ake, “Jose Mourinho, who worked with Ake at Chelsea, wants to revamp his defence with Eric Bailly and Victor Lindelof failing to impress the Portuguese tactician.”
Ake did play for Chelsea nine times. But he was loaned out to Reading, Watford and Bournemouth. Aké made his Premier League debut on 26 December 2012 – when Rafa Benitez was Chelsea manager. Under Mourinho, Ake only made one league appearance, as a substitute in a 3–0 loss at West Bromwich Albion on 18 May.
Such are the facts.
Posted: 16th, October 2018 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Daily Telegraph pay: Boris Johnson promotes gender equality to deadline
You can read Boris Johnson’s thoughts in the Daily Telegraph. The Tory MP’s column earns him around £5,000 a week. The paper marks them as ‘Premium’ stories on its website. If you want to read them all you have to pay. Or you can read them on his Facebook page for free. This week, Johnson pitches himself on the side of girls. The article is entitled: “Put a sock in it men: It’s time to end the global injustices and bigotry towards women.” It’s the kind of article any newly single man whose been caught cheating on his long suffering wife, as Johnson allegedly has, will think a good way to pull the birds.
On Facebook, Johnson’s publishes the following for free:
When a mighty dam is about to burst it does not just collapse in one explosive roar; it first springs a leak. A jet of water shoots from the crack, and then another crack appears and another horizontal fountain of foam; and as the whole vast curtain of masonry finally begins to tremble the onlookers behold the valley beneath and wonder who and what will be in the path of the billions of pent-up gallons as they are released from their captivity.
That is roughly how it feels today as we watch these extraordinary feminist movements like #MeToo, and the frenzy surrounding the nomination of judge Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court. We have a sense of the welling emotion behind these phenomena. We feel the rage at decades, centuries, millennia of complacency and injustice. We see women and men uniting to call for a change of attitudes, for a new and progressive sensibility…
What can possibly have triggered Johnson’s fire? One clue comes via Private Eye, which notes that the Telegraph’s new digital MD is one Dora Michail. Her twitter profile includes a rainbow flag. And recent retweets and tweets give a clue to her agenda, which takes in ‘tackling discrimination and promoting gender equality with an intersectional approach’:
So there’s Boris Johnson’s column on his drive to tackle gender equality. Fee for the social justice warrior’s wisdom: £260,000 a year. In next week’s column Boris says: ‘Time to go, Theresa May, and give a bloke a chance…’
Posted: 8th, October 2018 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, Politicians | Comment
Maurizio Zanfanti: famed Rimini tourist shagger dies during sex
RIP Maurizio Zanfanti, aka Zanza, the Lothario from Rimini who has died aged 62. He succumbed to a heart attack, possibly brought on by exhaustion at having to tell every holidaymaker they were ‘bootifall zike therstars’. His obituary in the Daily Telegraph is memorable. They say he died during sex with a 23-year-old tourist (Sun) or was she 25 (Telegraph)?
He died of a heart attack at around two in the morning in his Mitsubishi Pajero 4×4, parked in a small peach grove owned by his family, seconds after making love with a 25-year-old Romanian woman, who raised the alarm.
There are plans to erect a statue in his honour.
Posted: 5th, October 2018 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment