Posts Tagged ‘Jennifer Aniston’
Jennifer Aniston’s Car ‘Kiss’ With Brad Pitt And ‘Bill’
WITH the National Enquirer in a News of The World libel case induced Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hiatus, InTouch stands alone in revealing stuff about Brangelina. The front-page news is:
“JEN & BRAD CAUGHT KISSING”
No, not the mirror, or babies or their PRs. Caught kissing each other – well, so a “bodyguard” clauims.
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
“I know that he still loves her,” the ex-bodyguard Bill, who for security reasons chooses only to be identified by his first name, tells In Touch…
Brad and Jen arranged a secret meeting at the trails off of Western Canyon Road in Beverly Hills on December 9, Bill says.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jennifer Aniston’s Baby With Gerard Butler And The Bombshell
JENNIFER Aniston is going to be a mum. We know this because the National Enquirer screams: “JEN BABY BOMBSHELL!” Bombshell McGee?
In Pictures: Jennifer Aniston’s Insulting ‘Fake Relationship’ With Gerard Butler And…
And it is bombshell. Just as it was in July 2009:
“JEN’S BABY NEWS STUNS BRAD! – Jen tells Brad I think I’m pregnant”
And in May 2009
“A MOM AT LAST!”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: National Enquirer | Comment
Jennifer Aniston’s Brad Pitt ‘Meltdown’
WANT to hear about Jennifer Lopez’s “FURIOUS SHOWDOWN WITH BRAD”. That’s Brad Pitt. You do? Well, step this way. And you can also learn “Why she was left in tears”.
Before we invited our hair language expert to analyse what Brad’s trash bin diver’s beard says to Jennifer’s silky hair, the National Enquirer says “sobbing” Aniston has had a “full-on meltdown following a vicious argument with ex-husband Brad Pitt”.
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
There then follows one of the most ironic stories of all time. You will note that ever since Bradgelina released the lawyers on the NoTW for saying they had split up, stories of Pitt and Jolie have been supportive and, well, nice.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Jennifer Aniston’s Insulting ‘Fake Relationship’ With Gerard Butler And…
HAVING saved Mexico by selflessly undertaking an expensive holiday there, Jennifer Aniston is telling everyone who will listen that promoting The Bounty Hunter movie with Gerard Butler is one thing while her private life is something private.
Jennifer might be seriel co-star dater but she’s not dating Gerard Butler, you know, the one she cosying up and cudlding and frotting on the red carpet. As she todl GMTV viewers in the UK:
“All this, that me and Gerry are in this fake relationship for the press of our movie, or the selling of it, it’s just so insulting at the same time but again, it’s the story – I’m getting to a better place in understanding that they’re just making money.
And she’s still talking about thsoe awful tabliods not talking about the movie:
When asked about the tabloid chatter, Aniston asked “what chatter? I hear about it, I don’t read it. You have to get better over time. You have to… build up a tough skin…. We work really hard on our jobs… you don’t want to be known as sort of a ‘tabloid face.’ That sort of distracts from what you do and what you work really hard at. Which is our movies… It’s almost like another job that you have not chosen to be a part of. It’s a soap opera that you do not sign up for.”
Oh no?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Abnormal Miley Cyrus Rivals Jennifer Aniston’s Quote Of The Year
MILEY Cyrus is not like you. She is like Jennifer Ansiton, who told us that she had to go on holiday to Mexico with Gerard Butler because:
“These people survive on us coming down and spending money and coming here to these beautiful places. It sort of made sense to sort of say ‘Hey, let’s help out Mexico.’”
Anyhow, here’s Miley Curus growing into pretty much what you thoght she’d be:
While filming The Last Song on Georgia’s Tybee Island last year, Miley Cyrus couldn’t help but fall for her costar Liam Hemsworth. (On the Oscars red carpet Sunday, Cyrus, 17, confirmed that she and Hemsworth, 19, are dating and that “maybe” she’s in love)…
“Working with Miley was a alot easier than I thought it was going to be,” Hemsworth admits to the magazine. “From the first time we [met], It was like I had known her before.”
His famous girlfriend adds, “I think we’re both deeper than normal people–what they think and how they feel.”
It’s you normal people that help Miley be the abnormal person she is today…
Posted: 11th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Jennifer Aniston Shines For Gerard Butler In London: Pictures
JENNIFER Aniston has new film out, The Bounty Hunter, and has arrived in the UK to promote it. This being Aniston, the tabloid rules state she must be embroiled in a love story.
The impression is augments hy her being glowing on the cover of W magazine. Aniston is sat on Gerard Butler’s lap. That is Butler and not some animatronic version of the Scots actor. Aniston looks like she’s been weeping at her dead puppy’s grave. Butler looks like an extra from a shoot-em-up video game.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 11th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Brangelina Have 3 Months To Live, Says Doctor
BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie will split on June 15 2010. We know this because the National Enquirer breaks the post-NoTW embargo on Bradgelina split stories and screams from its front page:
“ANGIE AND BRAD – 3 MONTHS TO SAVE RELATIONSHIP!”
In other words:
“BRANGELINA HAVE 3 MONTHS TO LIVE”
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
And not only Brad and Ange are back on the NE’s cover. There’s Jennifer Aniston, who illustrates:
“His shocking confession about Jen.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 9th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (5)
Angelina Jolie Sends Secret Message To Jennifer Aniston Via Shiloh’s Boy Haircut
IN the post-legal world of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, there is no talk of them splitting up. That narrative died when they instructed libel lawyers Schillings to take on the NoTW.
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
The new way to talk about Brangelina is for the National Enquirer to heap praise on them or to do as Life & Style does and focus on the Brangios, the couple’s children.
Last week, Life & Style said that finally the “TWINS ARE OUT OF HIDING”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)
Jennifer Aniston ‘Betrayed’ By Acting Gerard Butler
HEADLINES like Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston are having a “Trial marriage” may have inadvertently created the impression that Jen and Ger are dating. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Sure, they groped and snogged – Aniston straddles Butler – but The Bounty Hunter is not a fly-on-the-wall reality TV show but a film, with a script and lots of pretending.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 2nd, March 2010 | In: National Enquirer | Comment (1)
Angelina Jolie Kisses ‘Tourist’, Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston Elsewhere: In Pictures
WANT to see pictures of Angelina Jolie kissing man other than Brad Pitt? Before Jolie and Pitt decided to sue the News of The World for stating that they had split up, stories about Brangelina were daily and lurid. Anorak is still awaiting the forensic report on those black rubber sheets and sex toys the National Enquirer reported on from Jolie’s hotel room. So. Do you want to see Jolie kissing a man other than Brad? Can you handle it?Can Jennider Aniston cope?
8439986
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)
National Enquirer After Brangelina: Jessica Aniston And Jessica Simpson At ‘War’
WEEK Two of the post Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit National Enquirer front page and things are looking promising for Jennifer Aniston, who remains in situ.
With Brangelina suing the NoTW, and so putting the US tabloid on a stage of high alert, Jennifer Aniston is on her own.
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures
Well, she’s not alone for long because the NE has a new love triangle war brewing, and the three-points of the news compass are Aniston, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. This is:
“Jen & Jessica – REVENGE ON LOVE RAT JOHN MAYER!”
Inside and:
“JEN & JESSICA DECLARE WAR ON JOHN!”
Mayer is said to have upset the women by called Simpson “sexual napalm” and “crack cocaine” (is that good or bad?) and portrayed Aniston as “boring”. Says Mayer of fun Jen:
“I want to dance… I want to get on an airplane and be a ninja… I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”
A euphemism?
And… Oh, it’s just no good. Without those weekly tales of Brad’s secret love (sources say) to betrayed Aniston, Angelina Jolie’s rage (say pals) and Aniston’s loveliness (says insider), the Enquirer is trying but failing to come up with a story.
READ: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie: Sex Toys, Jennifer Aniston ‘Romps’ In Pictures
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt – A Romance In Pictures
It’s needs a new angle? Who can be the new Ange-Brad-Jen? But why not do as OK! has done and in between news and non-news hire look-alikes to play the main protagonists and get up to all sorts of crazy mischief?
Look out for: “Jen puts Brad’s head in oven as Ange waters poison begonia” – say pals.
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures
Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)
National Enquirer Panic: Angelina Jolie Is ‘Saintly’ And Jennifer Aniston Marries Gerard Butler: Pictures
ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt sue the News of The World for saying they’ve split, get spotted at the Super Bowl rutting like adolescents, and for the first time in years, the National Enquirer’s lead story of Jennifer Aniston does not feature an accompanying “source-say” piece about Brangelina in CRISIS.
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt – A Romance
And get this from the Enquirer:
“Angie’s new-golden status comes as welcome relief following a month of shocking stories about her personal life with partner Brad Pitt.”
Stories you might have read in the… National Enquirer, which now calls Angelina Jolie – get his – “saintly”. Like Jen – only saintlier (read this).
As for the story that breaks the mould, Aniston is said to be in a “TRIAL MARRIAGE” with Gerard Butler and a £110m prenup”
Well, so sources say…
Posted: 16th, February 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (2)
Jennfier Aniston And Brad Pitt Swan Off
AT a Gloucestershire wildfowl sanctuary, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are small fry. Two swans – Bewick swans Sarindi Pitt and Saruni Aniston– are divorcing.
Angelina Jolie’s Post-Brad Pitt Images On Dating Website (NSFW)
The Bewick’s left the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust centre at Slimbridge for Arctic Russia together. They have returned with new partners. Male swan Sarindi arrived home without Saruni but with Sarind Jolie. It is only the second divorce in 40 years recorded at the centre.
Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Break-Up Pictures
Staff who observe swans shagging and comment on their love lives have described the new couplings as “bizarre”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 25th, January 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
This Week’s National Enquirer: Jennfer Aniston Beats Angelina Jolie And Surgical A** To Mouth
IN this week’s National Enquirer – we read it so you don’t have to: Jennifer Aniston has got Angelina Jolie “RUNNING SCARED”; David Hasselhoff “refuses rehab”; Britney Spears is not dead but is in a “Psycho Ward” drama; Heidi Montag does arse to mouth and Robert Pattinson’s “baby”.
Jen & Ange
News is that Aniston is feeling “sexier” and “more confident than ever”. And that gives her the “upper hand” in her “feud” with Angelina Jolie, who is “miserable” and “skeletal”.
The source says Ange has “very few friends” and is “the skinniest she’s ever been”. On the positives, Jolie has a huge family, Jen’s ex-husband in her bed and is thin enough to make Aniston look fat.
Heidi Montag Is Plastic
Heidi Montag has had a mini brow lift, Botox in the forehead, a nose “revision”, fat injections in her face, her neck lipo-suctioned, ears pinned back (to her head), breast made huger, lipo on her waist and thighs, and her arse “augmented” – to appear just below that re-visaged nose on the face.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Reviews Of The Decade In Pictures: 2000 In Showbiz
IN 2000, this is what was hot on showbiz. Anorak’s reviews of the decade – Year 2000 in pictures – with Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Michael Cain, Jude Law, Sir Richard Branson, Billy Bob Thornton, Leonardo Di Caprio, Giselle Bundchen, Dame Shirley Bassey, Victoria Beckham, Model Kelly Brook, Madonna, Sir Bob Geldof, Paula Yates, Big Brother, Robert Downey Jnr, Guy Ritchie and Halle Berry…
1266143
Angelina Jolie’s Diamond Snakes Mined At Source, In Pictures
IN “CRUEL MIND GAMES! Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston tell Enquirer readers of “2am calls!”, “CATTY insults!” and “DIRTY tricks!”
The aim of this is for Aniston and Jolie to “destroy each other”. Jen is looking to meet with Brad Pitt, catalyst for much angst, soon. Then Jen will star in the Lost City of Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Oh, it’s no good. Jennifer ‘nice hair” Aniston v Angelina “bedtime reading” Jolie is going nowhere. Every week the Enquirer trots out another front-page story about how Jen and Ange don’t get on.
“These mind games between Angie and Jen are no good for anyone,” says the source.
Yes, they are.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, November 2009 | In: National Enquirer | Comment (1)
Angelina Jolie Is Torturing Jennifer Aniston With Peter Andre
ANGELINA Jolie is “torturing” Jennifer Aniston. Angelina Jolie is torturing Jennifer Aniston for charity and to highlight the plight of the panda bear. Angelina Jolie is torturing Jennifer Aniston because she has heard the prayers of the people.
The National Enquirer has more and says the Angelina Jolie is torturing “childless Jen” with her twins on a recent sopping trip to Amman, Jordan.
Jolie and Brad Pitt and Knox and Vivienne are shopping for a birch, the wake of Judah’s cradle or the collected thoughts of Peter Andre: Chapters 1 Through III. If you’re going to torture Jen, you need to come equipped. Bring something messy to put in her hair.
A source tells us that “in Jen’s mind, her [Jolie’s] decision to show off the kids in such a public way was probably done to make her jealous.” It was a “stab in the heart” – which is more akin to murder than torture.
But, then, Jen is handy with knives and any pang to the heart will lead to a slow death that could last for another six years of headlines and news…
Image: 14
Posted: 13th, October 2009 | In: National Enquirer | Comments (2)
Angelina Jolie Introduces Jennifer Aniston And Her New Lover Scott Stuber
JENNIFER Aniston’s new lover is a man “she secretly fell for while married to Brad”; he’s “Mr Right”; she’ll “have his baby”; he’s called…Scott Stuber.
The Enquirer says this is the tenth man Aniston has romanced since Brad Pitt left her in 2005. All the other runners and riders are named: Vince Vaughn (tall actor), Geoff Stults (lantern-jawed actor), Paul Sculfor (mo-del), Jason Lewis (actor), Brian Bouma (film crew), Aaron Eckhart (actor), John Mayer (crooner), Bradley Cooper (Sean Penn look-alike marrying Rennee Zellweger) and Gerard Butler (“I am not dating Jennifer Aniston”).
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jennifer Aniston Harvests Her Eggs
JENNIFER Aniston? Is she? Has she? Any news? Has she harvested her eggs in a hair net? Us magazine has this exclusive:
Posted: 24th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Scary 98lb Angelina Jolie Haunted By Jennifer Aniston
DO you know that Angelina Jolie weighs 98lbs? Well, she does. The National Enquirer can tell a person’s weight just by looking at them. One day the magazine will finally launch Weight Bitch, in which a reader can angle the magazine towards a work colleague or family members and learn that person’s true weight.
The NE gives hope to its readers, following the boastful headline figure with news on how to be as thin as Jolie. All you need is one Jennifer Aniston and to shag Brad Pitt.
IN “SCARY SKINNY ANGIE HAUNTED BY JEN – 98lb. star blames shocking weight loss on hated rival”, readers learn all about the Jolie Diet.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (3)
Jennifer Aniston Compares Herself To Bambi
JENNIFER Aniston wants to tell us that she has not had her breasts enhanced. She wants to tell us that she has “lots of energy”.
But above all she wants to tell us:
“But now that I’m that bit older, my fears have dropped away and I fell I have all this freedom to explore the world – like Bambi going out to explore the forest.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, September 2009 | In: Hello!, Key Posts | Comment
Patrick Swayze’s Last Days With Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie
WANT to know about Patrick Swayze’s “sad last days”, with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston?
The National Enquirer has the scoop that Patrick Swayze is dying. While Enquirer readers wait for that story to develop, and the rest of us wish Swayze RIP, the Enquirer brings shock news of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It’s:
“Brad & Angie’s WILD FIGHT OVER JEN!”
Can it be that after six years of front-page speculation linking brad to his ex-wife, Angelina has finally seen what Brad stopped seeing and a made play for Angelina herself?
Inside, and we read of “BRAD AND ANGIE’S BIGGEST BUST-UP EVER!”
To Chateau Miraval, France, where Brad and Ange are talking about Jen:
“They had just finished having breakfast with the kids when Ange turned around and accused Brad of trying to get in touch with Jen again via text message.”
The Enquirer says that Jen rebuffed Brad’s textual advances.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comment (1)
Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston Set Up Home
PAVLOV’S Rule of Tabloid Journalism states that every time Jennifer Aniston is mentioned so too must be Angelina Jolie and by definition Brad Pitt. So when Grazia magazine uses its front page to announce the question (can you announce a question?): “Jen has boob job?” a little squeaky voice pops up to add “BRAD And ANGELINA’S MAKE-OR-BREAK TRIP.”
First up we are invited to look at Jennifer’ Aniston’s chest and check it for signs of hair, boyfriends and growth. We see none, although in one picture Jen is wearing a tighter top than in the other, so Grazia senses a scandal.
Which leads readers to Ange and Brad who are on a “make-or-break-trip” to a… garden centre.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Angelina Jolie’s Lost Sex Diaries, Brad Pitt’s Contents Revealed
ANGELINA Jolie’s “LOST DIARIES” have been found. And the National Enquirer has the news on what Ange wrote about “BRAD, JEN & HER KINKY SEX LIFE”.
Once inside the magazine, we realise that the diaries have not been found by the Enquirer. But not to worry because the word “diary” enables the Enquirer to make a good guess at what these diaries contain.
They contain “intimate details about her sex life and revels her innermost feelings about partner Brad Pitt”.
They contain “dates” in chronological orders, notes on “public holidays” and very possibly a table that converts decimal measurements into metric and then lists all the capitals of ALL the nations, including Shiloh’s native NAMIBIA!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (2)
John Mayer Has Died, Jennifer Aniston Offers No Comment
JOHN Mayer RIP. It’s the Summer of Death and musician John Mayer has died. John Mayer was involved in a road accident.
Anorak recalls that his album Indo-Jazz Suite was a hit. He won a scholarship to the Royal Academy of Music. Now he has died.
No. no. Noooooo. Not that John Mayer, former squeeze to Jennifer Aniston and signer of such hits as “I Touched Jennifer Aniston’s Hair”, “Jennifer Aniston & Me” and “Jennifer Aniston Revisited”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 3rd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
