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Madeleine McCann: DNA, Robert Murat And Paedos

“MADELEINE: NEW DNA CLUE TO KIDNAP.”

Odd indeed that amid all the public spectacle and voyeurism there is front-page news of the criminal case.

The Express says: “Detectives believe that they have … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (57)

Big Brother’s Zac Lichman

Name: Ziggy
Age: 26
Home: North London
Job: Broker
Star sign:
Big Brother Career: Celebrity shagger. Iceland adverts. Duncan James wannabe. Antony Charles Robert Armstrong-Jones look-alike. Parrot.
Ziggy is a fashion conscious ex-model and ex-boyband … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (129)

Ginger Ail: Redhead Chapmans Forced To Leave Home

“HOUNDED OUT OF THREE HOMES FOR BEING GINGER.”

Welcome to Anorak’s ginger focus group. Kevin and Barbara Chapman and their four children are stood at the centre of the circle of … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, June 2007 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (12)

Bob Woolmer Murder: Told You I Was Ill

BOB Woolmer was murdered.

Woolmer was killed by an ancient poison called anconite. He was killed by al-Qaeda, the Mafia, a deranged fan, a member of the Pakistan team, snake venom … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, June 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)

Spitting Mad: London Bus Drivers Swab Passengers

HERE comes the bus. There goes the bus.

Too full. No room. But you can see empty seat son the top deck. Keep cool.

Here’s another.

It’s here. The doors open. One please. … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Mari Olli: I Saw Madeleine McCann In Marrakesh

NORWEGIAN woman say she saw Madeleine McCann in Marrakesh. This is her email to British police:

Mari Olli, a Norwegian and a retired social worker, 45 years old, lives in Spain, … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (35)

American Idol Simon Fuller Bids To Buy Elvis Presley, Ali and David Beckham

SIMON Fuller, the rather wealthy little man who oversaw the rise of the Spice Girls as well as creating the Pop Idol phenomenon, is launching a $1.3billion joint-bid to acquire … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Money | Comment

It’s All In The Jeans: The Denim Mao Suit

FROM hip young things to sad middle-aged men, jeans continue to provide the backbone to many a UK wardrobe and the denim domination looks set to continue with reports claiming … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Money | Comment (1)

UK College Lecturers Won’t Spy On Muslim Students

SHOULD lecturers at British universities keep an eye on radical students?
A union of British academics voted unanimously to reject a government plan to tackle Islamic extremism in universities, likening the … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

The Last Man On Earth Is… Zac Lichman

THEY waited. And then Zac Lichman arrived. Zac’s form takes in Abi Titmuss, Suzanne Shaw and Atomic Kitten singer Natasha Hamilton. None of them are housemates. Carole is. And she … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jennifer Aniston’s Star Magazine Airbrush

JENNIFER Ansiton is a blank page. Or not. Is she reading War And Peace. Or MAD magazine? Or Anorak? The Koran? A new play based on Brad Pitt’s meeting … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Hillary Clinton’s Thinking About Tommorrow…

WHO wants to see Hillary’s potatoe moment…

. … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Jack Kevorkian Is Out: ‘Dr Death’ Is Alive And Kicking

A RIGHT to die? Whose life is it anyway?
COLDWATER, Mich. — Jack Kevorkian, the retired pathologist dubbed “Dr. Death” for claims that he participated in at least 130 assisted suicides, … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Paul McCartney On Big Brother

“I’m against the celebration of mediocrity. I’m sorry about that world because I know everyone loves it and loves to watch mediocre people. I studiously avoid Big Brother. I just … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Chanelle’s Big Brother Monkey

THE Big Brother podcast is being embraced.

Carole, the out of work sexual health worker, is talking to Chanelle, Victoria Beckham’s solitary fan.

Carole wants to know what Chanelle’s secret talent is?

Chanelle: … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

For The Love Of God: Damien Hirst’s Skull

THE world-renowned Brit Art superstar Damien Hirst has unveiled his latest and most expensive creation to date – a jewel-encrusted skull. Yours for a paltry £50million.

The 41-year-old, apparently, sourced over … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Money | Comments (14)

A Happy Tax Freedom Day To You!

WHERE are your pointy party hats and streamers? Why don’t you have a piece of cake and a glass of cheap sparkling wine in your hand?

Don’t you know it’s Tax … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Money | Comment

The European Union’s Eurovision Beach Contest

EUROPEAN beaches – where to swim and where not to. Beware Greeks carrying data…
Britain’s beaches are cleaner than ever but they still cannot compete with Mediterranean or Aegean countries, according … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Celtic Nationalism And English Cash

WHY do so many Scots, Northern Irish and Welsh want to leave the UK? (At least that’s what their drum-banging leaders tells us.)

Simon Jenkins says:
Where is the heart of the … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Kissinger Sees Vietnam In Iraq

HENRY Kissinger on Iraq and the lessons on Vietnam:
THE IRAQ WAR has reawakened memories of the Vietnam War, the most significant political experience of an entire American generation. But this … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Madeleine McCann: The Pain Of Empathy

I KNOW a Madeleine. A friend called me and said how terrible it must be for me that Madeleine McCann has gone missing. Every time I hear the name I … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Madeleine McCann: Foreseen Is Rewarded

KATE and Gerry McCann are in Madrid. Scheduled to appear on a Spanish TV show, the parents of Madeleine McCann will appeal for help in finding their daughter.

We wish them … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (48)

Logo Chanelle: Chanelling Victoria Beckham

WHO knew Victoria Beckham had a fan? Well, she does. Her name is Chanelle. And she is in the Diary Room.

Listen up and imagine Her Poshenss saying the words:

“I think … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Ichea And Scratchea: Big Brother’s Charley Uchea..

BIG Brother is upon us and the Star’s front page zooms is on Charley Uchea.

Charley with a “Why?” is proud of her vital statistics, specifically her being related to Manchester … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comments (55)

Dominican Republic Wedding Turns Into Nightmare

FOR newly-weds Mike Goodhall and Heidi Loader, the devil was definitely in the detail as a simple spelling mistake turned their £4,000 dream Caribbean beach wedding into a nightmare.

Returning home … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2007 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4)

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