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Balance Of Payments

AS David and the Beckhams head to the United States, their departure creates some space in the UK.

Not that the Beckhams are the only Brits seeking their fortunes out West. … (read more)

Posted: 12th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Spooks In Your Inbox

War on terror – SMS alert…

FROM tomorrow (Tuesday), MI5 is offering a new service.

MI5 is to send emails alerting the public to the prospect of an imminent terror attack. From tomorrow, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


(White) Trashing Jade

Trashing Celebrity Big Brother

GOODBYE Jackiey.

You came to pick up your daughter from a friend’s house party, embarrassed her and left. Many parents have done it.

But why did Jackiey leave so … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


War With The Birds

“I WAS CRIPPLED BY A PARROT.”

It was never going to be easy following “KATE ‘N’ PETE’S 3-IN-BED ROMP WITH TOM CAT”, the Star’s front-runner in Headline Of The Year. But … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Anyone Seen Suri?

SINCE Suri Cruise’s birth we have hardly seen her.

She did do a photospread for Vanity Fair and was a familiar face when the couple wed in Italy, but she has … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Ron(aldo) Atkinson

GEMMA Atkinson is the 22nd sexiest babe in the world, according to the Star’s knowing readership.

Gemma is sexier than Jade Goody (36), Imogen Thomas (40) and Paris Hilton (5449). Gemma … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)


The Man For Atlantis

“EUROPE: the future. This is how global warming will ravage the continent, reveals the EU.”

The Independent leads with a map. It is a picture of the European Unions surrounded by … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Celebrity Big Brother’s F***in’ Squillel

HAS anyone seen a fuckin’ squillel in the Celebrity Big Brother house?

It was there a moment ago. That grandmother was holding it up and talking about it. It was made … (read more)

Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Action Men

TIRED of the War On Terror?

If you are, It is understandable. This war, as with all wars, was supposed to be over Christmas. But that has been and gone. And … (read more)

Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Celebrity Big Brother Burns

Celebrity Big Brother burns…

“MY wild sex with Leo missus as he played ping pong.”

As kinky sex goes, the tale of Celebrity Big Brother escapee Donny Tourette and Leo Sayer’s wife … (read more)

Posted: 8th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kate Moss & Pete Doherty’s Wedding; Heather Mills Kicks Out; Kate Middleton Is Being Watched..

Kate Moss & Pete Doherty’s wedding; Heather Mills kicks out; Kate Middleton is being watched..  

KATE Moss and Pete Doherty exchanged “High dos”.

With 2007 in its infancy, the Sun drew its readers’ … (read more)

Posted: 7th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Desperate Hollywoodisms

QUOTE: A little bit of ‘Desperate Housewives’ meets ‘Father Knows Best.’” Billy Campbell, president of Discovery Networks, in the New York Times.

Figure of Speech: Hollywoodism, a form of periphrasis (per-IH-phra-sis), … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Geraldo Finally Euthanized

THE only surprise is that it’s taken this long: Twentieth Television’s Geraldo at Large has been canceled at last.

The show’s staff got word today that production will shut down in … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Cupid’s Arrows

“GETTING the drinks is all part of and parcel of being a DWAG and I enjoy helping out and being there for him.”

The unmistakable voice of Gill O’Shea, lager wallah … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment


Showing Signs Of Stain

ONE full day into the Celebrity Big Brother house and signs of Jermaine Jackson falling apart.

The Mail has a picture of the Jackson sporting a strip of tape across the … (read more)

Posted: 5th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


David Gest 2007 Pin Up Calendar

FLIPPING through one of my beloved Star magazines while on vacation, I came across a titillating photo of David Gest washed up on the beach.

His cottage-cheese-in-a-ziplock-bag physique spills onto the sand … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Far From Oche

Ashes to ashes and darts to Holland…

“GODS of the game, super-beings of darts, commanders who would make Napoleon look like a private.”

Sid Waddell, the voice of darts, the man who … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)


Celebrity Big Brother Wins

CELEBRITY Big Brother is back.

There will be secret gardens, fake evictions, quadruple evictions, no hot water, only hot water, intruders on the roof and the late twist in which the … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


By Royal Appointment

What do Prince William and Kate Middleton share with Coleen McGloughlin and Alex Curran?

THE link between royalty and football is clear.

On one side are the pampered celebrity socialites and professional shoppers; … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Third Time Lucky – Jennifer Aniston’s New Face

THERE are two Jennifer Aniston’s.

On the left is young Jennifer, the Enquire calls her “BEFORE”.

BEFORE Jennifer has brown hair, a broad nose and more than a hint of ambition in … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Saddam Hussein, Gerald Ford or James Brown?

AND this is supposed to be a holiday week?

Every time we turn on the TV, there’s another dead person! Hooded hangmen! A corpse onstage at the Apollo Theatre! Chevy Chase … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Blair On A Gee String

Tony Blair, Matt Damon, Jennifer Lopez and the Bee Gees make jam like it’s 2007…

HOW long before we are hailing Lord Robin Gibb of Gee’s Bee?

It may be too early … (read more)

Posted: 29th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Simon Cowell & Jessica Simpson Holiday

SIMON Cowell spent his Christmas holiday giving his pasty mantits some tanning in Barbados, writes Dlisted.com.

He was joined by the hotness that is Michael Winner. Hmm…

DAMN! Scary Spice aka Mel B … (read more)

Posted: 27th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Barrow Boys & Girls

IT’S official – Britain is bonkers for ‘the barrow’.

Almost half of us say the Wheelbarrow, which involves the man holding the woman’s legs as if they were the handles of … (read more)

Posted: 26th, December 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Yo, Earth!

QUOTE: “When? I mean, when is the predicted cataclysm?” Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia on global warming.

Figure of Speech: Straw Man fallacy, the sneaky issue-switch.

Twelve states, three cities and 13 … (read more)

Posted: 26th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment