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Desperate Hollywoodisms

QUOTE: A little bit of ‘Desperate Housewives’ meets ‘Father Knows Best.’” Billy Campbell, president of Discovery Networks, in the New York Times.

Figure of Speech: Hollywoodism, a form of periphrasis (per-IH-phra-sis), … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Geraldo Finally Euthanized

THE only surprise is that it’s taken this long: Twentieth Television’s Geraldo at Large has been canceled at last.

The show’s staff got word today that production will shut down in … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Cupid’s Arrows

“GETTING the drinks is all part of and parcel of being a DWAG and I enjoy helping out and being there for him.”

The unmistakable voice of Gill O’Shea, lager wallah … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment


Showing Signs Of Stain

ONE full day into the Celebrity Big Brother house and signs of Jermaine Jackson falling apart.

The Mail has a picture of the Jackson sporting a strip of tape across the … (read more)

Posted: 5th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


David Gest 2007 Pin Up Calendar

FLIPPING through one of my beloved Star magazines while on vacation, I came across a titillating photo of David Gest washed up on the beach.

His cottage-cheese-in-a-ziplock-bag physique spills onto the sand … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Far From Oche

Ashes to ashes and darts to Holland…

“GODS of the game, super-beings of darts, commanders who would make Napoleon look like a private.”

Sid Waddell, the voice of darts, the man who … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)


Celebrity Big Brother Wins

CELEBRITY Big Brother is back.

There will be secret gardens, fake evictions, quadruple evictions, no hot water, only hot water, intruders on the roof and the late twist in which the … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


By Royal Appointment

What do Prince William and Kate Middleton share with Coleen McGloughlin and Alex Curran?

THE link between royalty and football is clear.

On one side are the pampered celebrity socialites and professional shoppers; … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Third Time Lucky – Jennifer Aniston’s New Face

THERE are two Jennifer Aniston’s.

On the left is young Jennifer, the Enquire calls her “BEFORE”.

BEFORE Jennifer has brown hair, a broad nose and more than a hint of ambition in … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Saddam Hussein, Gerald Ford or James Brown?

AND this is supposed to be a holiday week?

Every time we turn on the TV, there’s another dead person! Hooded hangmen! A corpse onstage at the Apollo Theatre! Chevy Chase … (read more)

Posted: 1st, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Blair On A Gee String

Tony Blair, Matt Damon, Jennifer Lopez and the Bee Gees make jam like it’s 2007…

HOW long before we are hailing Lord Robin Gibb of Gee’s Bee?

It may be too early … (read more)

Posted: 29th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Simon Cowell & Jessica Simpson Holiday

SIMON Cowell spent his Christmas holiday giving his pasty mantits some tanning in Barbados, writes Dlisted.com.

He was joined by the hotness that is Michael Winner. Hmm…

DAMN! Scary Spice aka Mel B … (read more)

Posted: 27th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Barrow Boys & Girls

IT’S official – Britain is bonkers for ‘the barrow’.

Almost half of us say the Wheelbarrow, which involves the man holding the woman’s legs as if they were the handles of … (read more)

Posted: 26th, December 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Yo, Earth!

QUOTE: “When? I mean, when is the predicted cataclysm?” Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia on global warming.

Figure of Speech: Straw Man fallacy, the sneaky issue-switch.

Twelve states, three cities and 13 … (read more)

Posted: 26th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Celebrity Big Brother Is Back

CELEBRITY Big Brother is back.

The show that reduced Vanessa Feltz to meltdown, reunited Jackie Stallone with her former daughter-in-law Brigitte Nielson and made a C-list star of Chantelle Houghton is … (read more)

Posted: 25th, December 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lampard Shoots – And Scores?

IT’S not every day you meet a Spanish chauffeuse.

And the exotic nature of such a meeting may have been what unbalanced Frank Lampard, the Chelsea and England footballer. Did it … (read more)

Posted: 21st, December 2006 | In: Back pages | Comments (2)


To The Manor Osbourne

OZZY Osbourne rests his hands on the bare shoulders of his wife, the pixie-voiced Sharon.

This is not Ozzy, the vibrating man of rock, steadying himself, reaching out for the most … (read more)

Posted: 19th, December 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


The Pitts

“BRAD & JEN BACK IN LOVE!” is the annoucement.

And the report is that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, for it is they, are in love not with Angelina Jolie, Vince … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Reviews | Comments (10)


OJ Simpson – Another Victim

RUPERT Murdoch has fired Judith Regan.

Word came tonight, meant to be buried as a weekend begins, just as Rupert’s NewsCorp Christmas party was getting into swing, with Bill O’Reilly whispering … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Denying The Truth

WHO better than to face down Iran’s Holocaust Denial Conference than Our Man Elli in Israel, New York City born and now living and working as a TV jbnournalist in … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Tony Blair’s Word Of Honours

CONSPIRACY?

Why did the Stevens Report into the death of Princess Diana emerge on the same day Tony Blair became the first serving British Prime Minister to be questioned by police … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Nicole Richie Does Mel Gibson

Nicole Richie beats Paris Hilton

ALL of 85 pounds, whacked out on Vicodin and pot, Nicole Richie cheated death and vehicular homicide – while besting fellow celebutard Paris Hilton’s measly “erratic … (read more)

Posted: 13th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Move On

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie are looking at something on the ground on Hello!’s Cover page.
The couple, along with their three children, are sat on a patch of green. All … (read more)

Posted: 13th, December 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Spoonfeeding George Bush

Quote: “I don’t want to put too much in his mouth now, but there was not one bit of argument.” Lawrence Eagleburger, secretary of state under the first President Bush, … (read more)

Posted: 13th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Fit For Purpose

AS Cherie Blair despatches her private Christmas cards, each wrapped in a plain brown envelope and then secreted between the covers of Barrister’s Husbands, the Mail sees some other seasonal … (read more)

Posted: 12th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment