Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
In Pictures: Michelle McGee, Sandra Bullock And Jesse James Porn Parody
THE story of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, Sandra Bullock and Jess James story sees the introduction of James’ ex-wife Janine Lindemulder. Reports are that Lindemulder, currently residing in a prison halfway house, wants to gain custody of her daughter, the one she had by James. Yep, she’s a porn star. Any porn parody will only have to tinker with the names.
Michelle McGee (NSFW pictures)
McGee claims she started her affair with James when Bullock was filming her award-winning movie The Blind Side. Your suggestions as to the porn film title, please, but we go with The Back Side (see, Lindsay Lohan’s mum – told you we had ideas; Michele Bachmann was right).
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Posted: 22nd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Pete Doherty A-A-A-Arrested By Celebrity Police Force
PETE Doherty has been a-a-a-a-a-arrested. Hold on. Sounds like the needle has needle has got stuck on Pete’s record. While we sort that out, Pete Doherty’s courtroom tour looks set to continue as he is pinched on suspicion of supplying drugs linked to the death of the heiress Robyn Whitehead.
Pete Doherty, Robin Whitehead And Kate Moss’s Collection: Pictures
The Telegraph is more precise:
Pete Doherty, the rock star, has been arrested on suspicion of supplying the drugs that killed heiress Robin Whitehead.
Whitehead’s body was found in a block of flats in Homerton, east London. Say the Celebrity Police Force, as ever, supporting Doherty’s bid for fame and keen to be photographed close to the star. (One more for the canteen walls, lads.)
“A 31-year-old man was arrested on March 19 on suspicion of supplying controlled drugs. He was bailed to return on a date in April pending further inquiries.”
Leaving Doherty plenty of time to prepare for that court date by stuffing his pockets with drugs so as not to disappoint the fanzzzzzzzzzz and those few coppers yet to meet him…
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Posted: 22nd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Rachel Weisz’s Desire Presents The Laurence Olivier Awards In Pictures
RACHEL Weisz, the third future Mrs Anorak, took herself to the Laurence Olivier Awards at the Grosvenor House Hotel in central London to receive her Best Actress Award, for A Streetcar Named Desire. Ruth Wilson scooped Best Actress in a Supporting Role Award for the same play. Mark Rylance with his Best Actor Award, for Jerusalem. Also spotted: Jude Law and his parents Peter and Margaret; Ben Elton with Sir Trevor Nunn; Gillian Anderson; Keira Knightley; Kim Cattrall and Simon Paisley Day; and the voice of James Earl Jones…
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Posted: 21st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jade Goody In Drugs And Drink Shocker
AS the tabloids circle the first anniversary of the death of Jade Goody, the NoTW spots Jade’s mum Jackiey Budden “on a 16-hour drugs and booze binge…”
This news is equipped with the sympathetic qualifier:
“…just three days before the anniversary of her tragic daughter’s death.”
This is what happens when a star dies – the survivors and business partners keep their memory alive by doing what they were famous for. Michael Jackson’s family milk his remains for pop records and films. Jade Goody is embroiled in a night of boozing.
This is Jackiey Budden who placed goods at the death scene:
* Jackiey recalls how when Jade died, she put “an apron on and washed her and I covered her in her favourite cream, Jo Malone… You have to use Joe Malone, it was her favourite.”
Back to the story, and The Goody Gran is reported to have scarfed 14 large gin and tonics, two wines (bottles) and snorted a couple of grams of cocaine. Well, whatever helps you deal with the loss…
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Posted: 21st, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
The Lindsay Lohan-Inpsired Aqua Freedom Green Lohan Brush – Vodka Not Included
LINDSAY Lohan has inspired her mother Dina to stick her name on THE AQUA FREEDOM GREEN LOHAN BRUSH.
Yeah, you don’t use water to brush your teeth. You use vodka. Anyone with a brain uses vodka on their teeth. But, then, the Lohans are here to challenge us, even breaking with convention and renaming the toothbrush the tooth brush. (Note the extra space between words is a hazard that wastes energy with an extra keystroke.)
The tooth brush uses no water, like a hairbrush or hair brush (call me Dinah, I have ideas.). The tooth brush was, reportedly, inspired by Lindsay Lohan’s trip to India.
Says Dina, “She saw the devastation and there was no drinking water…there was no running water, and if there was, there was obviously no drinking water.”
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Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Michelle McGee Photos: Jesse James’s Dungarees And ‘Nuts’ Don’t Lie
MICHELLE McGee’s pictures might suggest that the woman who claims to have shagged Sandra Bullock’s husband is possessed by the Bayeux Tapestry or has a fetish for colouring in.
In Pictures: Michelle McGee’s ‘Wet Pussy’ Tattoo
Most American only have words like “inject”, “inflate” and “trim” written on the faces. Michelle has a variety of letters and swirls on her forehead that you need to get really close to read, by which time it is too late.
Michelle McGee In Pictures: Nazi Salutes, A Jewish Child And Stripping
But that is Michelle CMGee really like? Hollywood Life says it knows.
Well, a friend of Michelle’s McGee’s ex, Ronald Shane Modica, says:
“Michelle is f*****g nuts.”
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Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Kate Winslet ‘Dumped’ Sam Mendes Over Other Man’s ‘Text Messages’
WANT to know the “REAL REASON” Kate Winslet “DUMPED” Sam Mendes?
So far, the media has reported no less than 19 Reasons. These include:
Rebecca Hall, incest, boredom and rolled-up fags. No proof for any of them – but, still, it’s good journalism to guess and speculate.
Rebecca Hall Introduces More Reasons For Kate Winslet And Sam Mendes’ Split
Now the Daily Mail presents Reason Number 20:
Why Kate Winslet called ‘cut’ on Mr Ego: He shunned her talk of text messages from her dead lover
Alison Boshoff, who earlier told us Kate and Sam had split over her rolled-up ciggies, arguing and flirting.
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Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
In Pictures: Michelle McGee’s ‘Wet Pussy’ Tattoo
WHEN we heard that Sandra Bullock’s alleged marriage wrecker Michelle McGee made Nazi salutes and sported a Swastika tattoo on her tummy, we also heard that the letters “W” and “P” inked on her legs were short for White Power.
* “The tattoo stands for Wet P***y,” Michelle tells In Touch exclusively. “Jesse and I had a conversation about it and he says a lot of his friends have the tattoo.”
Your suggestions, please, as to what WP could also stand for…
Wet Paint?
Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)
Michelle McGee In Pictures: Nazi Salutes, A Jewish Child And Stripping
MORE news on Michelle McGee and that TMZ says it has gotten hold of “shocking photos” of Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee dressed as a Nazi. Yep, the woman whose body is 70% covered in tattoos also dresses as a Nazi. The full-figure tattoo comminity will be disappointed. Where’s her self-respect?
In child custody documents filed in January, and reports by Radar, Michelle’s ex-husband Ronald Shane Modica, says:
“It seems as the years go by Avery’s mother slips more and more into stripping, pills, alcohol and performances she does online, pornography that she has brought into her home. There have been pornographic shoots there and live WEB cam pornographic broadcasts from her house.”
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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Tom Crusie And Amy Winehouse Present Celebrity Teeth Then And Now
CELEBRITY teeth – a gallery. Had the US not won the American War of Independence, the Americans would have teeth like ours: wonky, bent and yellow. And those are the ones you still have. But they went their own way and to set them apart from the British the Yanks had their teeth filled, whitened and buffed. Sadly, we live in a time of American colonisation and there is evidence that some of us British have been turned. To go with those American breasts, you can have the American teeth. Here’s a gallery, featuring such toothsome persons as Tom Cruise, Amy Winehouse, Noel Gallagher and Faye Dunaway showing a set of gnashers that could take off Jack Nicholson’s nose at the neck…
Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Michelle McGee: TMZ Buries The Story While Radar Online Goes To Town On Sandra Bullock’s Husband
WHY is the story of Sandra Bullock’s husband’s allged affir with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee not getting lots of coverage on gossip site TMZ? Anorak’s Man in LA reports:
Michelle McGee in pictures (NSFW)
And when it comes to the saga of the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James/”Bombshell” McGee triangle of trashy tattoos, steamy sex and marital mayhem, Radar is truly trashing TMZ’s reputation for breaking stories before they even happen (ahem, Michael Jackson’s death) and following up with every imaginable non-angle (i.e., “exclusive” pre-crash close-ups of the fire hydrant Tiger Woods whacked with his Caddy in the wee hours of that fateful November morning).
Let’s summarize, shall we?
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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Lady & The Revamp: Boris Johnson’s Sister’s Next New Job
BEST laugh of the night was The Lady & The Revamp, a TV fly-on-the-wall of Rachel Johnson’s nascent editorship of the old cunties’ weekly, The Lady.
Appointed just because of brother Boris’ fame – editing her uni mag being her only other qualification – she stormed through the old banger with some startlingly original ideas. Such as sacking the fiction editor because he had a loud voice. Such as putting upcoming septuagenarian stars Julie Andrews and Joan Collins on the cover.
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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (9)
Did Cinnabun’s TMZ Lunch Save Sandra Bullock And Jesse James: In Pictures
WALKLING tapestry Michelle McGee is making waves in the Sandra Bullock household by claiming she sampled the Oscar winner husband’s “Vanilla Gorilla”. Jesse James, for it is he, releases a statement (read it here). And McGee is one of the two most searched tattooed women on the web. (The other one is Jolsyn James.) But it’s nto big news on TMZ.
Michelle McGee in pictures (NSFW)
Anorak’s Man in LA has a theory:
IT’S a dog’s life being TMZ head honcho Harvey Levin.
Rumor Rat claims to know the reason that TMZ is virtually ignoring the story of Mr. Sandra Bullock (Jesse James) and his alleged steamy affair with a body-inked bimbo named “Bombshell” McGee.
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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sandra Bullock’s Cinnabun Is Missing As Jesse James Talks Of Michelle McGee
KEEPING up with tattooed American women presenting their massive, misunderstood Jordans to us in the manner of St Agatha leaning on a golf club bar do is keeping Anorak busy. No sooner has Joslyn James published her alleged text messages from Tiger Woods (NSFW) than Sandra Bullocks husband is talking about those allegations that he’s shagged a walking tapestry called Michelle McGee.
And then Sandra’s dog Cinnabun goes missing. What does Cinnabun know?
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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jewish God Sean Penn And Palmeri’s Rectal Cancer Probe
SEAN Penn says that critics of celebrities grandstanding their goodness for charity should “die screaming of rectal cancer“. And at a Haiti benefit at the Washington Hebrew Congregation, Washington Examiner reporter Tara Palmeri, has question for Mr Penn:
“How have you seen your critics change since you mentioned that they should die of rectal cancer?”
Penn replies: “I think that you’re invested in a culture that I’m not interested in.”
Palmeri is told by on CJ Jordan that all questions should be about the benefit.
Palmeri: “It’s related to the Haiti benefit.”
Jordan: “Ma’am, this is the end of your interview.”
Palmeri is escorted from the room. Says she:
“I was told that they were going to call my editors and have me fired if I didn’t write a letter of apology to the ambassador of Haiti. She told me, ‘You desecrated this sacred place.'”
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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Lines Up New Man For Revenge Shag
GOOD news for the legions of Cheryl Cole fans hoping to comfort her in a revenge shag as the “nation’s sweetheart” says she’s looking for a man with “Bermuda shorts and belly”.
“A guy could be in the Speedos and be ripped to within an inch of his life and I don’t think I’d look again. It’d have to be Bermuda shorts and the pot belly.”
Delete that photo of the athlete in his knickers you found on your pay-as-you-go phone and go for this one instead. It can’t fail…
Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Krankies Return To Glasgow Stage And Thanks Anorak (ANORAK!)
THE Krankies are back. Wee Jimmy Krankie and his handler Ian Tough will return to the stage for the Glasgow Pantomime.
Krankies fans will recall that in 2004, 62-yer-old Janette Tough, Jimmy Krankie’s stage name, fell from mechanical beanstalk and fractured her skull during a performance of Jack and the Beanstalk at the Pavilion Theatre.
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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Sandra Bullock: Amish Tattoo Model Michelle McGee In Pictures
SANDRA Bullock is the Oscar winner with the mostest. Michelle McGee (NSFW) says she’s been shagging Bullock’s husband Jesse James. McGee claims she hooked up with James after responding to an advert for models for his motorcycle company West Coast Choppers.
Anorak’s Man in LA says he feels guilty. (Story continues after gallery).
He thought the woman who claims to have been banging Jesse James while his wife Sandra Bullock was out of town doing Oscar-worthy work… was a bit of a tart.
But after you watch the video above, Our Man thinks that you – like him – will do a 180 with your opinion of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.
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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (12)
Robert Pattinson Is ‘Awsome’, Say Fans: Pictures
ROBERT Pattinson again, folks. Because he is “AWSOME”. Ok, Anorak is not averse to the odd typo in ten, but we’ve not raided our mum’s sheets and spent all day a writing a message to our beloved in crayon and massacra.
In Pictures: Robert Pattinson Meets The Fans On Twlight: Remember Me
Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Pictures: Robert Pattinson Meets The Fans On Twlight: Remember Me
ROBERT Pattinson arrived in Leicester Square for the UK premiere of Remember Me at the Odeon. He flattened his Twilight fairy hair in a greasy smear and met the fans. Some had “camped” in London for 32 hours to see RPattz. “Bronco Pete” has been camping in the Square for years and he’s not even a Pattinson fan. These girls need to try harder. Then Pattinson puts an arm about Emilie de Ravin – and a hundred teenage hearts turned green…
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Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Rebecca Hall Introduces More Reasons For Kate Winslet And Sam Mendes’ Split
OK. After the incest, Oscars, death by showbiz, rows, flirting, jealousy and Rebecca Hall, rolled-up fags, arguing and Leonardo DiCaprio, more reasons in the media as to why Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet have split.*
Kate Winslet in pictures: NSFW
Reasons why Kate and Sam split – 1-10
Reasons why Kate and Sam split -11-14
Reason 15: Boredom
“Kate Winslet split from Sam Mendes ‘out of boredom’” – Blog:
Reason 16: Revolutionary Road
“Did making a film about a bad marriage split up Sam’n’Kate?” – Irish Indy
Reason 17: They’re Twins
“Oh, darlings were you just too alike to survive?” – Jan Moir
Reason 19: Being Sexy
“Sexy Stars unlucky in Love” – Sun
Kate Winslet in pictures: NSFW
Reasons why Kate and Sam split – 1-10
Reasons why Kate and Sam split -11-14
* All reasons produced by the tabloid school of guessology and grounded in nothing but speculation.
Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Michael Jackson’s Death Syringe For ‘Sale’ In Libya: Photos
AS Michael Jackson scores a new record deal – well, death was pretty much the last toss of the dice to restore his reputation – we hear rumours that Michael Jackson’s “drugs syringe” is being touted about for sale.
The report says that this is the very syringe that “allegedly administered a fatal dose of drugs to Michael Jackson”. It’s worth $5 million. – traces of any drugs included. You know how hard it is to get propofol since Jackson died? This is a steal.
A source close to the sale was quoted by the Daily Mirror as saying that the King of Prop’s needle is on the market:
“The guy who has possession of the needle has been in meetings with his legal team, making sure it is legitimate and his to sell. The plan is to flog it for up to $5-million in a big Vegas casino but he’s been told he may have to sell it somewhere that doesn’t have ‘reciprocal legal agreements with the United States’, such as Brazil or even Libya.”
Had only the prone Jackson made it to Libya, where Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, the man convicted of the Lockerbie bombing, remains alive seven months after being released with just three months to live. Colonel Gaddafi’s son Saif Gaddafi says al-Megrahi is “greatly improved”.
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Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Mark Owen’s Teenage ‘Lover’ Susan Tells All
TAKE That fan “Susan” wants to tell Mirror readers about the night Mark Owen “enticed her and her friend into bed”. They were a “pair of naïve 16-year-olds”. They were “lured“.
It is 1995. Yep, the Mirror’s exclusive occurs a full ten years before Mark Owen met his current wife Emma and began his conquest of what he estimates to be ten other women.
Mark Owen Does Women And Rehab: In Pictures
Owen would have been 24 at the time. Sixteen seems young, but it is legal. The Mirror plays the age card, telling readers how Owen, allegedly, seduced the girls after they went to see Take That in Earl’s Court to celebrate the end of their GCSEs.
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Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Video: Lady GaGa Spotted Cycling Her Chopper
EXCLUSIVE: Lady GaGa has moved on from Telephone, her overblown product placement-themed answaphone message. Lady GaGa has found a new vehicle: a bike.
Marvel as Lady GaGa moves down the rod under her own stream. Swoon as the saddle take the full force of Madonna’s Camel.
And go cock-a-hoop as Lady GaGa plays the piano on her chopper…
Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
The Natalie Cassidy Interview: Pregnancy, EastEnders And Adam Cottrell
EX-EastEnders’s actress Natalie Cassidy would like you to know that she is pregnant. It’s an OK! “WORLD EXCLUSIVE”.
We know Natalie is preggers because on the magazine’s cover she is cradling her tum-tums. This is either: a) evidence of an appendicitis; b) celebrity dieter Natalie trying to hide her weight; c) the actress pointing us towards her growing baby?
Behind Natalie stands Adam Cottrell, billed as “handsome” and “hunky”. Adam’s hands are also on Natalie’s tummy. A quick pull and Natalie’s last meal will pop up and her airwaves will be cleared. But this is no emergency procedure. This is a sign that “we” are pregnant.
Natalie says that we may be shocked at the news because “we haven’t really gone public with our relationship”.
Oh no?
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