Anorak

Politicians | Anorak - Part 60

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Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air

Rally Against Debt In Photos: Greek Formula One And Tea

IN L0ndon, demonstrators took part today in the Rally Against Debt outside the Houses of Parliament, London, to protest over the levels of the national debt.

What the complaint really should be about is the elite carving up the cash and getting away with it:

Heath secretary Andrew Lansley’s wife has come under fire after she boasted about links with Cabinet ministers for her business clients. Sally Low, who has been married to the Cabinet minister for the past 10 years, is the founder and managing director of public relations business Low Associates. Her company’s website claims it can help ‘make the link between the public and private sectors’ and highlights how it ‘also set up a debate between a Cabinet minister and his shadow, which really captured the media’s attention’.

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Posted: 14th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Lancashire Toff Praises David Cameron For Being A ‘Toffee-Nosed Slimebag’

A TOFF has accused David Cameron of being toffee-nosed. In Lancashire:

“AN East Lancashire peer who dubbed Prime Minister David Cameron a ‘toffee-nosed slimebag’ has stood by his remarks.

Lord Tony Greaves, also a Liberal Democrat councillor in Pendle, told a national newspaper that ‘a lot of people in our party never liked Cameron’.

“Cameron behaved in a way which was dishonest and disloyal to his deputy and he should be thorough ashamed of himself,” Lord Greaves told the Lancashire Telegraph.

“Any lingering affection for Mr Cameron, as a person, within the party, has disappeared. People are very angry.””

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Posted: 13th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Is Barack Obama’s Situation Room George Bush’s Plastic Turkey

ON Saturday 6 December 2003, Mark Lawson told Guardian readers that George Bush was “stuffed by a plastic turkey”.

In a revelation certain to be taught at schools of democracy and journalism for years to come, it has been revealed that the apparently appetising turkey that President Bush carried towards beaming troops last week in Baghdad had been genetically modified to a degree that would lead even the most profit-hungry farmers to protest. The bird was the kind of model used by butchers and Hollywood set-dressers.

Following this disclosure, the president is, unlike his political prop, stuffed…

…the affair of the plastic turkey can only be attributed to insecurity.

…Whatever the details, the message is clear. Though he still lacks anything as pesky as a plausible Democrat opponent, Dubya is starting to fear that his administration may become the second one-term turkey served up by the Bush dynasty.

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Posted: 11th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment


Was Hillary Clinton Airbrushed Into Situation Room Photo?

NEW York’s Yiddish newspaper Di Tzeitung airbrushed Hillary Clinton – her with the cough – from the that Situation Room photo of Barack Obama and cohorts watching Osama bin Laden being killed (or not).

They did this because the readers “believe that women should be appreciated for who they are and what they do, not for what they look like, and the Jewish laws of modesty are an expression of respect for women, not the opposite”.

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Posted: 10th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)


Ed Miliband Won’t Dance On Margaret Thatcher’s Grave: But He Might Play The Accordion

SURE Ed Miliband posed for a smiley photo with Nottinghamshire Labour council candidate Keir Morrison who was wearing a T-shirt bearing a picture of headstone and the legend:

“A generation of trade unionists will dance on Thatcher’s grave”

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Posted: 8th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


South Dakota Department of Public Safety Debates Obama The Muslim Terrorist

TO SOUTH Dakota, where Barack Obama is a Muslim terrorist threat to the locale. Richard Bartholomew notes:

NEWS of an upcoming conference: the South Dakota Department of Public Safety is to hold a Homeland Security Conference on 10-12 May:

Events throughout the world and incidents closer to home have underscored the unrelenting need to enhance preparedness, expand prevention efforts, and improve response capabilities to terrorist threats against our nation. The 2nd Annual South Dakota Homeland Security Conference will bring together nationally renowned experts on emerging threats, highlight cutting edge technological resources and speakers will share their expertise on these topics and more.

Our goal is to provide training and information to response agencies from all levels of government and private sector stakeholders in regard to Homeland Security issues affecting the United States and South Dakota. The conference provides a forum for government and industry to foster the partnerships necessary to protect South Dakota from the potential disasters we face.

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Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


The Top Ten Voting Systems: The Mi6A4 Gas Ejected Assault Rifle

IN answer to the Alternative Vote elite voting system, Anorak asks for your Top Ten Voting Systems. AV might not make the cut. Writes AGW:

No personal preference, but there seems to be an increase in the popularity of the proportional direct selection policy as evinced by the use of the Mi6A4 gas ejected assault rifle voting system. It is claimed to have been directly efficient during recent political discussion in Pakistan.

US Democrats are said to be so convinced of its effectiveness it may be de rigueur for Secretary Hillary Clinton in her upcoming meetings with troublesome Alaskan Sarah Palin.

Regrettably, from a Liberal viewpoint, there is a distinct and very powerful convincing democratic argument since the heavyweight clips are 30 rounds each and fired in bursts of three…Anorak’s required ten voting systems and all in under 60 seconds.

Oppositions parties are said to favour a more even-handed and directly broader selection system; such as a dirty nuclear device left in the bleachers during the next Super Bowl.

That’s the trouble with political selection systems, generally they end the process with all-powerful and totally corrupt elites.

Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)


Osama Bin Laden’s Dead Body Photos: Want To See?

THE White House’s kak-handed handling of the death of Osama bin Laden makes us wonder if public enemy number one rally is dead. We saw Dillinger. Show us Osama.

Damian Thompson says the approach has been good for conspiracy theorists. But wanting proof does not make you a nutter in a tin hat. Questioning the official version of events – one that keeps changing – does not make you a denier.

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Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (18)


A Vote For AV Is A Vote For A Bland Career-Minded Elite

DID you vote for or against Alternative Vote (AV) voting? Or to put it another way: did you vote for less democracy and a way to make it harder to kick out failing governments? Or did you vote No?

Or did you, as millions will have done, do nothing because the debate on AV makes Osama bin Laden look lively?

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Posted: 5th, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)


Barack Obama’s Spin And Lies Over Osama Bin Laden’s Death Photo

SHOULD the US show us the photo of Osama bin Laden dead with a hole in his face? Do we need the photo to prove the kill of the mass murderer? Are we now so reliant on visual images that we are unable to get the facts without photographic evidence? And if bin Laden is not dead, where is he? And will he now appear to sqaush Obama, who is basking in improved poll ratings?

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Posted: 5th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (4)


Osama Is Obama: A Potted History Of Media Whoops

BARACK Hussein Obama has name that sounds a bit like Osama bin Laden. It’s also a bit like Saddam Hussein. George Bush has name that sounds a lot like George II, the foreign King who fought the American dream. JFK is but one letter away from JFS (Jane’s Fighting Ships). Maggie Thatcher is easily confused with Teri Hatcher (both Christian!)? I think we can all take something from that. Here’s a pictorial history of the Osama is Obama polemic. One of them is dead. Can the media tell which one it is..?

obama-osama_may2

Posted: 4th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment


Bush Haters Say Obama Won The War On Terror: Hillary Clinton Disagrees

OBAMA killed Osama. That’s the gist of the chant outside the White House. “Yes we can,” comes the chant.

It’s all a bit odd, isn’t it? The war Osama bin Laden started. The war George Bush went into without batting an eyelid. The war that caused Al Qaeda killers to be captured and sent to Guantanamo Bay – that’s the place Obama said he’d close just as soon as he was elected. The war in Afghanistan that was about the US getting Bin Laden and crushing Al Qeda. Well, Obama, who came to power after it had began, has won it.

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Posted: 2nd, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Ed Miliband Plays Cricket With A Tennis Ball And Gets Off With Girls

IN readiness for the local elections, Labour leader Ed Miliband played cricket to Kirkby in Ashfield, Nottinghamshire. Miliband is man blessed with all the sporting prowess of powdered custard.

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Posted: 2nd, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


US Keeps Osama Bin Laden Reward: Bounty Hunters Chase James J Bulger And Victor Manuel Gerena

OSAMA Bin Laden is dead. You know how that reward – the $27m for the capture of America’s most wanted man – was going to stave off your personal recession? Well, the Americans have kept it. Still, you can still win big by capturing the FBI’s next most wanted man. He’s James J Bulger. He’s worth £2million. Bulger is wanted for:

Racketeering Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) – Murder (19 Counts), Conspiracy to Commit Murder, Conspiracy to Commit Extortion, Narcotics Distribution, Conspiracy to Commit Money Laundering; Extortion; Money Laundering

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Posted: 2nd, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Is Donald Trump’s Hair Made In China?

DONALD Trump keeps talking, and the more he says the more you think he’s a stooge employed by the Sarah Palin camp to make their Presidential hopeful look better.

Here’s Trump on China:

“You can have one man say [in a mouse-like voice], ‘We’re gonna tax you 25 percent,’ and I can say [in his normal voice], ‘Listen you motherfuckers, we’re gonna tax you 25 percent.’ You’ve said the same exact thing, but it’s a different message.”

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Posted: 1st, May 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


David Cameron’s Failed Handshake Proves He Is Not Psychotic

ONE day on from scoring a free ticket to the royal wedding (and dinner), Prime Minister David Cameron was playing tennis with former Wimbledon champion and Britain’s most likeable German Boris Becker at a charity tennis match at Chequers, Buckinghamshire. (Where id it all go wrong, Dave?)

As you will see in these photos, the event was notable for the gurning Cameron and the handshake.

The handshake is no longer a simple thing among gentlemen. The firm grip and steady look in the eye was once the essence of a done deal and moral assurance.

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Posted: 30th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


President Donald Trump: We Shall Overcomb

DONALD Trump says getting Obama to show us his birth certificate was a great moment. It was a telling moment.

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Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)


Police Search London Squats For Stolen Electricity: Kate Middleton Waves

AS Kate Middleton left Westminster Abbey in London, following a rehearsal for the Royal wedding, police were smashing down doors across London.

The lads at the Territorial Support Group public order unit raided the Rat Star squat near Camberwell Green, the OffMarket in Hackney and Grow Heathrow near Heathrow Airport.

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Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)


Labour Candidate Lists Facebook Likes As ‘Dogging’

SAYS the voter to the Bolton News:

“As the Labour candidate for Smithills, Sean Harkin, was recommended by our MP in her election leaflet, I decided to find out more about him.

“I was intrigued by one of his interests – dogging. I quickly decided that this was not the type of person we wanted representing us in Smithills.”

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Posted: 27th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Obama’s Long Birth Certificate Endorsed By Official Cervical Mucus Plug Seal

BARACK Obama has decided to show you his birth certificate. To further squash claims that he was born somewhere other then in the US, the President will be using his cervical mucus plug on official seals. Obama will then revisit his birth by actually attempting to crawling inside his dead mother and be reborn, literally, in a TV address.

This is not a stunt, just the decent thing to do and befitting a man of his office.

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Posted: 27th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Queensland Buys T-Shirts From Bangladesh To Promote ‘Buy Local’ Drive

FOLLOWING those floods in Queensland, local politico Anna Bligh issued the Operation Queenslander campaign, featuring a call to “Buy Local” and restore the Australian State’s economy.

The state bought 1,500 T-shirts to promote the drive.

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Posted: 27th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Gordon Brown Is Hanged In Downing Street

THE portrait of Gordon Brown now hangs on wall on the second flight of stairs at Number 10 Downing Street. The face of the man who was Prime Minister – who  never led his party to a victory in a General Election – hangs just below Tony Blair’s portrait.

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Posted: 27th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


New York Times Scooped By The Onion Over Obama’s Singing

FIRST the New York Times was scooped by news that Barack Obama sings in the shower. Then the paper of record’s fact-checkers got to work and got more upset:

A series of pictures last Sunday of covers of the magazine Tiger Beat, with an article about how the original teen-girl tabloid has remained virtually unchanged since its inception in 1965, erroneously included a parody cover, produced by the satiric newspaper The Onion, that featured a picture of President Obama.

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Posted: 27th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


Nick Clegg Is Nicked: The Hip Hop, Tip Top, Flip Flop Sop

NICK Clegg is now a musical. The great educator is portrayed in hip hop musical called NICKED.

The show uses urban moosik to record the creation of the coalition after the 2010 general election up to the referendum on the Alternative Vote.

Says the play’s artistic director, Steven Atkinson:

“There’s almost something Hamlet-esque about Nick Clegg, he’s trapped in an impossible situation and that makes for great drama.”

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Posted: 25th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment


John McCain Talks Utter Bollocks On Libya: Nation Listens

WITH Barack Obama looking confused on Libya, it is left to John McCain to explain to the rest of the world just how rubbish it would have been had he beaten The One and become American President:

“I believe that with sufficient and efficient, sufficient and efficient use of airpower, we can bring Gadhafi to his knees. ”

“It’s ideal terrain and situation for doing so.  Have no doubt, though, that he and his forces are adapting to this situation by hiding in houses and doing various things that prevent the airpower from being so effective.  But I’ll tell you, when you’re flying around at 25,000 feet, it’s pretty hide – it’s pretty easy to hide from them.

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Posted: 24th, April 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)