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Loony Toon

‘THE Adelphi pub in Newcastle, just half a mile from the St James’ Park stadium, is a shrine to the local football team, with signed shirts and photographs covering the … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Any Old Irony

‘AMERICANS and irony – where would newspapers be without this staple? What easier way to appear superior than to trot out the old line about how the Yanks just don’t … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Interstellar Gellar

‘IN a land where even people up north say ”Awight, mate” and ”Nah wot I mean?” in broad EastEnders’ English, it’s a wonder that until now Uri Geller was not … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Mein Holiday Kampf

‘SUCH is the allure of celebrity that middle-aged crooner Bryan Ferry can still romance a 21-year-old dancer called Katie Turner. ”It’s got a nine-hole golf course and a giant water-slide…”Ferry’s … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Show Me The Honey

‘BACK in the 1980s, when windsurfers did it standing up, cowboys did it with chaps and truck drivers with Yorkies, celebrities did it on Celebrity Squares and the end of … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Roy Who?

”’ROY WHO?” That was the headline on the front page of one sports supplement yesterday, accompanying a characteristically scary-looking mug shot of hardman-turned-actor Vinnie Jones, football’s answer to gangster-turned-actor John … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Uri Gets Knifed

”’WHO goes? You decide?” Only we didn’t, because we the public had to vote for who we wanted to stay. And who we didn’t want to stay in the Australian … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Baby Talk

‘ELIZABETH Hurley may be using the tabloids as a platform for her law-and-order demands – more bobbies on the beat, etc – but when it comes to OK! she has … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Virgin On The Ridiculous

‘THE legend of Queen Britney continues to unravel. ”Who cares if I had sex? It’s nobody’s business,” says the former cheerleader for celibacy. ”Sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll…”Nor … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Bangers And Mash

”’CAR-MAD David Beckham has just added another top-of-the range model to his collection,” gushes OK! ”And I think one of these would like nice in your drive, Mr Beckham…””The new … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Paper Run

‘RUNNING out of loo paper counts as an emergency in anyone’s book, particularly if you happen to get caught short in a public place. So when a PC found himself … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Judgement Days

‘BORED with Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Fed up to the back teeth with Ann Robinson telling people ”Goodbye” with marginally less charm than Violet Elizabeth Bott used to … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Es Are Good

‘SCIENCE is not, and never has been, an exact science. One egghead’s theory is another egghead’s omelette – in fact, science can prove pretty well whatever it sets out to … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Tony Called To Heal

‘FROM men in white coats to men in white shirts, the Guardian carries a front-page picture of a Messianic Tony Blair standing amid a group of black men and black … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Bridge Too Far

‘ECSTASY may be the drug of choice of clubbers, but what do bridge players take to make those hours as dummy speed by? Well, we don’t know because American professional … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Keane’s Eire

”’NOW is the time to debunk the myth that Roy Keane is indispensable to Manchester United,” writes the Telegraph’s Paul Hayward. He then goes on to explain why, but all … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Ave It All Maria

‘Tricky Dicky’s money worries are spiralling out of control. The bank is threatening to close in on his loan, his swanky flats are now worth slightly less than a caravan … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Otherwise Engaged

‘ROMEO Beckham, Roy Keane’s elbowÂ… One way or another, Manchester United are hogging the front and back pages this morning. Even Keano’s dog gets a look-in, as punters queued to … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Musical Youth

”’REVEALED, pop generation’s ignorance of great music,” announces the Mail, reporting the findings of a new survey by Classic FM. It seems that many children today have little or no … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Thatcher’s Children

”’GLASS ceilings? I **** ’em.” That, to paraphrase Ray Winstone, seems to be the attitude of today’s up-and-coming career women. The Mail reports that the ”Noughties Woman” rejects the female … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

A Ray Of Hope

‘ON Saturday afternoon at around one minute after the full-time whistle had blown, I received a phone call. At first, it sounded like a long distance message, but the interference … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, September 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Paper Talk

‘A HAT has been thrown into the ring, and judging by the smart little feather on the side, it looks like a German headpiece. And indeed it is. Inspecting the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Aiming Low

”’TWO years ago, we would never in our wildest dreams have imagined we’d be here,” says Bobby Robson in Monaco, scene of yesterday’s Champions League draw. Sir Bobby was, as … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Cheesed Off

‘THE WORLD’S richest vagrant is getting it in the neck again from the Enquirer. ”Would you like cheese with that, sir?”We have noted before how Brad Pitt’s appearance increasingly resembles … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Rooms For Rent

”’WANNA SLEEP IN MICK’S BED?” enquires the Enquirer, above a picture of the wrinkly rocker. Man of mystique with a place on MustiqueErÂ… not really, no, but what is the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

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