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Liz Hurley’s In The Pink

ELIZABETH Hurley and Arun Nayar are “MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER”. Good news indeed. It is news worthy of any front page. And on reading it our smiles are every … (read more)

Posted: 6th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Saddam Husssein: What Next?

AS predicted, Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hanging today. Whether it’ll bounce the Republicans sufficiently remains to be seen. The drug-taking gay-prostitute habits of a leading Evangelical, combined with … (read more)

Posted: 6th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Corporate Corporals

“THE CCF exists to develop powers of leadership by promoting the qualities of responsibility, self-reliance, resourcefulness, endurance and perseverance.” So says the website for Fettes College, Tony Blair’s alma mater. … (read more)

Posted: 6th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Everyone’s Going

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. And if it … (read more)

Posted: 6th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Stomach For Jade

“JADE’S HOSPITAL ORDEAL,” announces the Sun’s front page. It’s Jade Goody. She’s on the cover of the Sun. And she’s on morphine. Instantly our minds whirl. Realising the part played … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

Love A Lout

NEWS that British youth are the worst behaved in Europe is not a problem that cannot be cured by love. Before we go on, let us say that surveys of … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Kate Moss Invades

“TO me, it’s baffling that someone who helps cause so much pain in Colombia is doing better then ever,” says Francisco Santos, Colombia’s vice president. Indeed. Before Kate Moss was … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

OJ Simpson Confesses

Big Money Is it the beginning of the end for Big Brother? The show’s producers Endemol are reportedly increasing the asking price for the ninth series of Big Brother by … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment

Sticking With Pete

“KATE MOSS – As the rumour mill goes into overdrive, we reveal the truth about showbiz’s rockiest relationship.” With most relationships, the pursuit of truth involves peeling back the layers … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Camilla’s Remembrance Disservice

ANY advance on five minutes? When the Spanish capital paused in 2005 for an official five-minute silence to mark the anniversary of the Madrid train bombs, it was hard not … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Endless Somers

IN the land of the perma-tanned zipped-on-haired Hollywood star, the ageless icon is Queen. The Enquirer brings news of Suzan Somers, once of the pappy TV show Three’s Company, and … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Best In Shows

THE National Television Awards, rightly billed in the Mirror as the “telly Oscars”, occupy the Mirror’s front page. The warning is of a “GLITZ ALERT!” And ready and willing to … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Get EU

WITH bird flu waiting in the wings and politicians producing much hot air over global warming, we realise that both the big environmental stories lack a human face. Until a … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Madonna’s Mothers Race

AT first glance, it’s not easy to mistake Madonna and Jane Glaves, a retired teacher who has for six years been making donations to the Home of Hope orphanage in … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Skills & Thrills

THERE’S more to being a roadie than wearing a black T-shirt, smoking roll-ups and vetting groupies. Doubtless these duties will form modules in courses for roadies on offer at the … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Posh’s Famine Relief

“SO David, what about the stick after the Argentinian game?” “Oh,” says David Beckham, “she was fine with it.” The Sun writes the jokes and we tell ‘em. And the … (read more)

Posted: 1st, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Chantelle’s New Houses

Celebrity Big Brother winner Chantelle Houghton wants to become a property tycoon. Chantelle is not as blonde as she looks and intends to spend some of her money on buying … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment

Cameron’s Rite On

“YOU do not know your arse from your elbow, you bastard,” shouts the youth to Conservative leader David Cameron. When they’re not seeing which of them can hug a tree … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Fighting Talk

MORE Royal news now as we learn that Prince William has lost his gun. “Wills loses a machine gun,” says the Mail’s front page. And in case you happen along … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Camilla’s Poppycock-up

“‘ISLAMIC’ CAMILLA DUMPS POPPY,” announces the Express’ front page. The Duchess of Cornwall has been “accused of insulting British servicemen after removing a Remembrance Day poppy,” adds the paper. This … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pull The Other One

CALL Jonathan Ross. It is the ongoing matter of UK celebrities versus Heather Mills. And the court summons Jonathan Ross to the dock at the Q Awards. Before a room … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Burning Hatred

YOU risk much when your burn a flag. One: the ozone-depleting pollutants given off when the ink and nylon are set light are hazardous to the planet. (Tests suggest that … (read more)

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

David Banda Leaves

DAVID Banda has gone. But before we scour the streets and gin houses of old London Town for news of Davie Twist, the Mirror announces: “DAVID ON TOUR.” Davie has … (read more)

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Tony Blair’s Hot Air

TONY Blair is writing in the Sun. And he’s issuing an ultimatum: “Pay up or the planet gets it.” The madman would destroy us all! Tony’s weather machine can do … (read more)

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Hasselhoff Dries Out

WHEN you spend all day in the water it stands to reason that you are going to drink a lot. Such are the risks of being David Hasselhoff, the world’s … (read more)

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

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