Anorak

TV & Radio | Anorak - Part 3

TV & Radio Category

Television and radio programme reviews, trailers, highlights, twilights and cinema news. Also the neglected gems from years past.

Toothless sex sold for £4 in Liverpool

BBC Three prostitution

‘Natalie’

 

The Daily Mail has a story about on-the-clock sex and immigrants. The news comes via a BBC Three documentary on life in Liverpool:

Sex workers in a major British city are said to be selling their bodies for as little as £4 – with prostitutes blaming an influx of Eastern European competitors for pushing down prices.

That this is bad is pointed to by the Mail’s images of prostitutes and pimps lurking in the shadows looking miserable. Have you ever seen a newspaper story on prostitution featuring a woman running through bluebells? That the women are in need of rescue is a given.

Punters want cheap sex. There’s the obvious economic argument to defer from the headline: increased supply and a steady demand leads to lower prices. But the market for flesh is geared towards risk: it’s legal to sell your body in private but selling it in a public space, kerb-crawling, running a brothel and pimping are illegal. In an unregulated environment buying sex is a crime. Prostitution is a dangerous business. How can a woman complain of abuse and criminality, access safe lodgings and medical support without getting into trouble and running pellmell into judgement?

“The worst thing about prostitution is the lack of respect and opprobrium, and the pity and the assumptions that are piled onto prostitutes,” says AA Gill.  “The root cause of all the dangers and misery of prostitution is because society despises prostitutes and the men who use them. So I wouldn’t make any of it illegal but what I would do is insist that anyone who used a prostitute had to work as a prostitute once a year, just to see what it was like.” Good idea.

The Mail continues:

The documentary tells the story of crack addict Natalie, who works on the streets to fund her habit.

Selling sex is a reality. A woman’s autonomous choice to sell her body is often fed by a consuming need. “They sell sex to pay for their habits,” says Michaela Edwards of the charity Streetwise. “Some do it to pay for Christmas presents for the kids. Some to pay the rent after getting their benefits cut.”

It’s about the money, right? “I’ve had to give a blow job out for a tenner because I’d been rattling for the heroin. Some days it’s even hard to make 60 quid,” says Hayley on the show. “Obviously the men are coming asking for cheaper money and we’re saying ‘no’. Then other girls are going and doing it,” says Hayley. “Some girl’s done it for £8, for anal and everything.”

And of the £4 rate, she adds: “Sex, here – some of the girls give it away for four quid. Because they’re battling for business, because they’re desperate to get crack.”

And having introduced the show’s plot, the Mail than adds:

A man named Jack, who lives with Natalie, blames Eastern European sex workers for flooding the market and slashing prices. He claims women come from as far as Serbia and Croatia and sell sex for rock bottom prices.
He said: ‘They’re absolute stunners. But the local girls… Sometimes I have to lend them my teeth.’

Spotter: Mail

Posted: 29th, October 2017 | In: News, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


In 1980 Sesame Street toured a saxophone factory and I was hooked

I used to play the alto sax. Badly. I knew I was not all that good a musician when the school violin virtuoso was invited to listen to me play. ‘Too sharp,’ he said. ‘Too flat.’ To me it all sounded the same.

In 1980, Sesame Street toured a saxophone factory.  Background music was supplied by an off-camera sax player, playing freestyle. the only word he said was “Saxophone”. And with that I was hooked.

 

Yeah! (Anyone know his name?)

 

saxophone tour sesame street

Spotter: Laughing Squid

Posted: 22nd, October 2017 | In: Music, TV & Radio | Comment


Simon McCoy delivers a royal breaking news alert and it’s brilliant

BBC News anchor Simon McCoy has BREAKING NEWS:

“We’ve just got this coming in from Kensington Palace, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to confirm they are expecting a baby in April.

“Now bearing in mind they announced she was pregnant back in September and it was thought she was around two or three months pregnant, I’m not sure how much news this really is but anyway…

It’s April so clear your diaries, get the time booked off because that’s what I’m doing. That’s news just coming in from Kensington Palace.”

Simon McCoy knows what’s coming. Having delivered the Windsors’ press release that another one of our betters is on the way, he can expect to be reporting LIVE on Kate Middleton’s womb to a captivated nation:

 

Posted: 18th, October 2017 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family, TV & Radio | Comment


Sole Survivor outlives fish: BBC pun of the day

bbc pun sole survivor

Posted: 14th, October 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Hugh Hefner serenades two would-be Japanese Playboy Bunnies and it’s horrendous

Next up on the god-awful 1980 TV show Pink Lady & Jeff  – a show featuring Japanese female singing duo Pink Lady (Mitsuyo Nemoto (“Mie”) and Keiko Masuda) and Jeff Altman, who was there because he could speak English, is Hugh Hefner.  

The girls have rocked up at the Playboy Mansion to audition as Bunnies.

As you watch through knitted fingers, Hugh Hefner thinks it a good idea to sing My Kind of Town.
 

Posted: 28th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


Did you spot the huge penis in a Netflix children’s cartoon? Here it is

Did you spot the huge penis in a Netflix children's cartoon

 

For those of you who missed it, this is the huge penis drawing that featured on a Netflix show Maya the BeeThe Mirror hears from the parent who spotted it and noted her displeasure on Facebook.

“I know that something like this should not be in a kid’s show whatever,” she says in a Facebook vifeo. “I’m extremely disgusted by it…there should be no reason why my kids should have to see something like this.”

Good-oh. Although they can see it on Facebook now, too, and in the national Press and here. But good spot, mum. But you need to go some to beat this knob watcher:

 


 

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Great British Bake Off does the Teletubbies

Want to feel old? This is what the Teletubbies look like now.

 

Bake off Teletubbies

 

Spotter: Freeview

Posted: 14th, September 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Manchester City balls: soft Ederson shows us his stitches

Manchester City goalkeeper Ederson is soft. Having been kicked hard in the face by Liverpool’s Saido Mane, who has apologised, the Brazilian stayed on the turf for 10 minutes. TV pundit Tony Gale was aghast, telling Sky Sports News on Monday that Ederson isn’t a “proper man”. He’s not like Burnley’s British goalkeeper Tom Heaton, who dislocated his shoulder against Crystal Palace the following day and walked off the pitch with a cheery wave.

 

We’ve got no photo of Heaton’s shoulder, but we can share this image of Ederson’s face:

 

Something narcissistic and the antithesis of stoic about showing the world your wound, but it does look very nasty. But it is to his face and not his hands, which in Tony Gale’s book means Ederson could have carried on playing. After all, it is only a flesh wound.

Posted: 12th, September 2017 | In: Manchester City, News, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment


Car crash opening to BBC World News (Video)

BBC World News has broadcasts a novel new intro.

 

Spotter: Andy Roberts

Posted: 9th, September 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


High winds: Weatherman farts on live TV

 

What’s the forecast, Mr Weatherman. Wind. High wind.

And thanks to the people who made this video – the people who record the weather and play it back.

 

 

Posted: 6th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Spiders alert: Daddy Pig places Peppa in mortal danger

Peppa Pig’s parent are lying to her. In ‘Mister Skinny Legs’ Daddy Pig tells Peppa that spiders are lovely. They are “very very small” and “can’t hurt you”. Daddy Pig does this to stop Peppa freaking out when she spots a spider in his room. Daddy Pig does not vacuum the spider nor does he flush it down the toilet. The pigs pick up the spider, puts it to bed in a dolls’ house and Peppa offers it tea.

Nobody dies.

It turns out, of course, that Daddy Pig’s lies are putting his kids in mortal danger. As Australians know ABC, spiders are huge and terrifying. ABC, the national public broadcaster, says the show is “inappropriate for Australian audiences” and banned it from future broadcast in 2012

But on 25 August 2017, the episode was broadcast on Nick Jr, a children’s channel affiliated with Nickelodeon. When one mother complained, a spokesman for the TV station opined:

“The context of the way the spider is portrayed in the episode lessens any impact of scariness or danger; the spider does not look real, it has a smiley face and is shown in context of a show with other talking animals.”

Whatever you say, Skippy:

 

peppa pig spider

 

Posted: 5th, September 2017 | In: News, TV & Radio | Comment


Let it Be: a wonderfully ridiculous slice of must see Norwegian TV

In 2010, Norwegian TV show Gylne Tider, aka Gyldne Tider (trans: Golden Times) produced this stupendous video.

The show featured presenter by Øyvind Mund, cameraman Steinar Marthinsen and sound engineer Ingar Thorsen travelling to meet their childhood heroes. Having journey through Scandinavia asking ‘Didn’t you used to be..?’, the third series focused on international stars, such as: Linda Evans, Pamela Sue Martin, Lorenzo Lamas, Sabrina, Samantha Fox, Mark Hamill, Bo Derek, Al Corley, Bruce Boxleitner, Richard Chamberlain, Glenn Medeiros, The Bangles, Duane Loken, Mel Smith and Peter Shilton. For the 2010 series someone thought it a sound idea to get a load of familiar faces sing and have them sing The Beatles’ Let it Be.

Look out for: Pamela Anderson, Mickey Rourke, Jason Alexander, Glenn Close, Ricki Lake, Roger Moore, Daryl Hannah, John Nettles and more…

 

Posted: 3rd, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Live News epic fail: Fox takes on Hurricane Harvey

Have we reached peak LIVE! news? The Fox News reporter on the scene would like to ask Texans fleeing Hurricane Harvey a question. You, on the crutches stood in the rain, have you got an hour or so to discuss rain, planning policy, emergency procedure, what it feels like to be an unpaid expert on TV news..?

 

Posted: 29th, August 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


TV new anchor didn’t change her shirt before broadcast

On the Bangalore local TV, news anchor  Kannada is wearing a terrific T-shirt.

shut the fuck up t-shirt

 

 

Spotter: Petty86

Posted: 27th, August 2017 | In: Fashion, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Clickbait: Conor McGregor thrashes Game of Thrones TWICE

It will cost you £1 to read the Daily Telegraph‘s story “Why dragons and fantasy are ruining Game of Thrones“.

 

 

Rebecca Hawkes begins:

On the face of it, asking whether Game of Thrones has “gone too fantasy” feels like a bit of a ridiculous question…

Clickbait isn’t all that easy when you’re not talking about sport. Hawkes can look enviously at other Telegraph headlines in today’s batch, and think about writing her next story as a question:

Alexis Sanchez fit to play against Liverpool – but will it be his final game for Arsenal?

Mayweather vs McGregor: What time does the fight start this weekend and who is predicted to win?

Not to be confused with the other story:

Mayweather vs McGregor: What time will the fight start, what date is it on and who is predicted to win?

 

Champions League group-stage draw 2017 – when and what time is it, what TV channel and what are the teams?

New Zealand vs Australia, 2017 Rugby Championship – what time is the Bledisloe Cup, what TV channel is it on and what is our prediction?

Can America remove President Donald Trump from office?

Two years after opening Germany’s doors to refugees, Angela Merkel stands tall. How has she done it?

Which celebrities have these GCSEs?

‘I’m a student about to go to university, will I need a TV licence?’

And the Top Most Read stories today:

 

mcgregor mayweather

 

Posted: 24th, August 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Reviews, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment


Murdoch united: The Sun says BBC ‘nabbing’ Great British Bake Off stars to ‘spite’ Love Productions

In a Sun “exclusive”, the paper says “BBC chiefs are facing claims they are sabotaging shows from the firm behind The Great British Bake Off.”

 

Sky balls Bake off

 

That company is Love Productions, who have brought to your telly such treats as Bake Off and: Junior Bake Off, Newlyweds, Famous Rich and Homeless, Tower Block of Commons, Young, Autistic & Stagestruck, The Baby Borrowers, Young Mums’ Mansion and Naked, Underage and Having Sex, and Britain’s Youngest Grannies.

Industry insiders say Love Productions believe the Beeb deliberately nabbed stars from other shows they have made.

Industry insiders say Love Productions believe the Beeb deliberately nabbed stars from other shows they have made. It’s an alleged “bid to sabotage the firm”. What stars have been “nabbed”?

Claudia Winkleman, who presented The Great British Sewing Bee and The Great Pottery Throwdown’s host Sara Cox.

Claudia, 45, is to co-host new BBC show Britain’s Best Cook, alongside former Bake Off judge Mary Berry, 82. While Sara, 42, is now presenting BBC2 series Back In Time For Tea.

Negotiations for new series of the sewing and pottery shows have now stalled.

Can we get a insider to go on the record?

A TV source said: “The sheer arrogance of it all is astonishing.”

 

Adding:

“There’s a view in the industry that the BBC is acting out of spite and not in the best interest of the licence fee payer.”

What the story in the Sun (prop. Rupert Murdoch)  omits to mention is that in 2014, British Sky Broadcasting acquired a majority stake in Love Productions. News Corporation (prop. R. Murdoch) owns 39.1% of BSkyB. 21st Century Fox (pro R. Murdoch) has formally lodged its £11.7bn bid to take full control of Sky.

 

 

 

 

Posted: 18th, August 2017 | In: News, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Whoops Apocalypse! Guam radio broadcasts nuclear missile warning in error

North Korea has missiles trained on Guam, an American territory. Will mad Kim Jong-un shoot? KTWG and KSTO radio stations say he already has shot, broadcasting an emergency alert to listeners. But there was no incoming missile. It was an error.

Whoops!

Guam locals have been issued with leaflets telling them “What to do in case of nuclear attack”. One  tip: “Do not look at the flash or fireball – It can blind you.” Tip 2: “Take cover behind anything that might offer protection.” Adhere to tips one and two and then: “When possible, take a shower with lots of soap and water to help remove radioactive contamination.”

After armageddon, good to know en-suite bathrooms survive. Oh, and best to take just one bottle into the show: “Do not use conditioner in your hair because it will bind radioactive material to your hair.” Should you have any left.

Don’t panic!

Posted: 15th, August 2017 | In: News, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


BBC News at Ten broadcasts topless sex scene

Sophie Raworth topelss porn bbc news

 

As Sophie Raworth read BBC1’s News at Ten, viewers were distracted by the monitor over her shoulder. Was that a live feed from Windsor Castle or was someone at the Beeb’s studios watching ITV’s Love Island?

 

 

PS:  it was an episode of True Blood.

Posted: 10th, August 2017 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Arsenal owner bows to pressure and censors big game killing from his TV channel

Kronke hunting TV

 

Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke has bowed to pressure. The UK version of his bloodsports channel will not broadcast big-game hunting, an utterly barbaric and wholly sad hobby for psychopathic dentists. (Yes, I now that’s tautological, but you take the point.)

The UK version of subscription service MyOutdoorTV, run by Kroenke’s Sports and Entertainment, was to show footage of men and women dressed in camouflage gear posing with inedible animals they’ve killed for fun. Now you’ll only get to see Bob and Mary-Jo grinning next to dead rarer breeds in the US.

Kroenke spokesman Jim Liberatore says that “in light of the public interest” there’ll be lots of to-deadline deaths but not of any big-game animals. They’ll be shot off-camera, like Aintree horses and Celebrity Big Brother losers. “While many on both sides of this issue have made their voices heard,” adds Liberatore, “and this content is only available through paid subscriptions, Stan Kroenke has directed us to remove all content related to those animals in light of the public interest.”

Liberatore added some guff about Kroenke being there for animal welfare, in the way that Mr Toff is there to support foxes who if it weren’t for hunting would died of boredom and lack of exercise. “He has a decades-long track record of environmental stewardship,” Liberatore continues, “working with conservationists, hydrologists, microbiologists, and others to responsibly manage habitat and enhance wildlife preservation.”

You can just imagine the animals and birds camped outside Mr Kroenke’s fencing, waiting for the chance to leap inside and be cared for by his welfare state.

PS: Of course, if you’re stinking rich, as Kroenke is, and really love animals why not just buy a large swathe of land and leave them alone?

Posted: 4th, August 2017 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment


Jade Goody returns for one more Big Brother

jade goody derek acorah

 

Good news for TV types looking to create telly on a low-budget: when you hire to-deadline psychic Derek Acorah, you also get Jade Goody and David Gest. It’s a three-for-one deal. Sure, two of the trio are dead, but if it’s good enough for God, it’s more than works for Celebrity Big Brother.

In the Daily Star, we read: “Derek claims to be in touch with dead housemates Jade Goody and David Gest.” The rest of us can catch them on Big Brother highlights reels, which haven’t needed to be updated for years.

Now, who fancies a Popadom?

 

Posted: 3rd, August 2017 | In: Celebrities, News, TV & Radio | Comment


Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks clocks and watches

ministry of willy walks clock

 

 

You can buy clocks and watches themed on Monty Python s’s Ministry of Silly Walks. John Cleese’s legs and brolly form the hands.

 

 

In Kim “Howard” Johnson’s  The First 20 Years of Monty Python ,  we hear Graham Chapman recall how the ketch came about:

John Cleese and I were writing together one day, and John had been thinking of doing something about anger. He’s very good at it, and he likes that emotion very much indeed. I’d been noticing that there were all sorts of ministries for strange things that were likely to distract people from the main issues of the day, and make it look like the government was doing something. A lot of attention would either go to a drought or a flood that probably didn’t exist anyway, and there seemed to be lots of useless ministries. I thought, why not a Ministry of Anger?

It’s difficult to remember whether it was John’s or my idea, but I do know that the next stage was Silly Walks, which was more ludicrous and petty than an emotion like anger. My house was on a very steep hill, and we saw a man walk past, uphill, stooped very sharply backward, defying the laws of gravity! Well, we thought Silly Walks was a good idea, but we couldn’t quite think how to develop it.

As usual, we were supposed to be writing something else when this idea occurred—anything to prevent us from getting to that work! But we thought we’d better get on to writing what we were supposed to be writing. So we rang up Mike (Palin) and Terry (Jones)—to interrupt them from whatever they were supposed to be doing—and made them write the sketch.

 

ministry of willy walks clock

ministry of willy walks clock

ministry of willy walks clock

 

Make your own Silly Walk clock here – or buy one here. The Silly Walk watch is here.

Posted: 1st, August 2017 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer, TV & Radio | Comment


June Forey: the voice of a million cartoon mornings dies

june foray RIP

 

June Forey (September 18, 1917 – July 26, 2017) – you might not know the name, but you’ll know her voice if you ever watched cartoons on a Saturday morning. Hers was the voice of many characters, including: Rocky The Flying Squirrel, Granny from Looney Tunes, Lucifer in Disney’s CinderellaThe FlintstonesPeter Pan, Mister Magoo, dozens more Looney Tunes names, Talky Tina on the Twilight Zone, Woody Woodpecker, Alvin & The Chipmunks, The Smurfs, DuckTales, The Real Ghostbusters, Tiny Toon Adventures, Gummi Bears, Garfield And Friends, Rugrats, Felix The Cat, Mulan, Family Guy and The Powerpuff Girls.

Chuck Jones said of her: “June Foray is not the female Mel Blanc, Mel Blanc was the male June Foray.”

 

Posted: 27th, July 2017 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


CNN v HansAssholeSolo: Trump’s Reddit meme tweet exposes the old media’s thin skin

trump cnn memeWhen Donald Trump tweeted a meme made by Reddit user HansAssholeSolo, CNN were upset. The meme was a mash-up of footage of Trump wrestling WWE CEO Vince McMahon to the deck in 2007 altered so that McMahon’s face was replaced with CNN’s logo.

Trump and CNN are at loggerheads. He says they broadcast fake news to an anti-him agenda. They say he’s America’s enemy. HansAssholeSolo morphed this sad war of words into an actual fight. Joke. Geddit?

CNN didn’t. It’s issued a threat. No, not to Trump. They’re threatening HansAssholeSolo. If he lampoons CNN ever again, the broadcaster will stop talking truth to power and attack. Judgmental CNN reporter Andrew Kaczynski says CNN “reserves the right to publish his identity” if he commits “ugly behaviour on social media again”. To some this sounds like “blackmail“. Take on the corporation and you will pay. Comply or else. That Kaczynski’s makes his threat beneath the headline “How CNN found the Reddit user behind the Trump wrestling GIF” only adds to the absurdity. Unless the BBC can discover which leg Trump puts first into his trousers, that Pulitzer’s in the bag.

In a lengthy apology, a worried HansAssholeSolo says: “Free speech is a right we all have, but it shouldn’t be used in the manner that it was in the posts that were put on this site. I do not advocate violence against the press and the meme I posted was [not] advocating that in any way, shape, or form.”

It was a joke that thanks to Trump’s priapic tweet finger and monocular news agency CNN has gotten out of hand. And it’s exposed how prissy CNN is; how like Trump, CNN is over-sensitive, vain and self-regarding. It shows us how terrified CNN is of the power of newer, non-telly media. CNN’s viewers are in bed by 10pm and watching from rented rooms because they’ve tired of the hotel’s infomercial; twitter and Reddit users are tuning in anywhere at any time.

It’s as illuminating as it is entertaining. And the row is mildly contradictory: like The Donald’s skin, it’s terrible – and there’s not enough of it.

Posted: 6th, July 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


BBC radio’s Eddie Mair lampoons Boris Johnson with rare mastery

On BBC Radio 4, Eddie Mair is talking to a bumbling Boris Johnson, the Foreign Secretary. “This is not the Two Ronnies. You don’t get to answer the previous question,” says Mair.

Posted: 21st, June 2017 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment


2 minutes of Hew Edwards not reading the BBC News is compelling TV

hew edwards news

 

BBC 10 o’clock News anchor Hew Edwards sits in silence. A technical glitch meant viewers saw Edwards sitting alone and in silence as the cameras rolled on last night’s live news feed. News continues inexorably. Even if there’s no news, there must be rolling news. If Prince William flying a helicopter can be news or Cheryl Cole getting a tattoo, why not Edwards sat at a desk?

The video of Edwards looking at his table top, contemplating the meaning of EastEnders, if taking two bottles into the shower is right and proper, and if the next BBC makeover show should feature amateurs auditioning as news readers, is compelling. We want to know what happens next.

And given the doom and gloom in the news of late, no news might be the luckiest thing we’ve experienced for some time. More no news, BBC, we need a break.

 

Posted: 21st, June 2017 | In: News, TV & Radio | Comment