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You Don’t Dare Kill It: The 5 Best Alien (1979) Knock-Offs of the 1980s  

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RIDLEY Scott’s Alien (1979) dramatically altered the template for horror films set in outer space. For example, the blockbuster film was among the first (after Dark Star [1975] to suggest that travel in the final frontier would be the purview of “work-a-day” space truckers rather than noble explorers or adventurous astronauts.

And instead of intrepid space travelers fighting men-in-rubber suits inside idealized white-on-white space station environs (as was the case in The Green Slime [1968]) Alien suggested a technological space age marked by endless industrial corridors and aliens of constantly shifting dimension.

The Scott film’s central alien — a bio-mechanoid horror created by H.R. Giger — could also gestate inside a living human host, and this fact ushered in a new era of cinematic “body horror.”

As with any genre blockbuster, Alien almost immediately spawned a host of knock-offs, some terrible and some quite good.  These films found much material to imitate and emulate, from the diverse make-up of Alien’s victim pool, to bloody variations on Alien’s famous chest-burster birth scene.  Many Alien knock-off films also involved long forgotten derelicts or other structures on alien planetary surfaces, for instance.  Inevitably, human crews would discover these Lovecraftian edifices and wake up age-old horrors.

Among the Alien knock-offs of the 1980s were Scared to Death (1981), Forbidden World (1982),  The Beast Within (1982), Parasite (1982), The Being (1983), and Biohazard (1985), to name just a handful.

The list below represents five of the best — or at least the most memorable– of the Alien knock-off breed.  As is often the case regarding knock-offs, the best such films are invariably those that re-purpose not merely the clichés from one source – in this case — Alien — but also from other literary or cinematic works as well.

 

 

 

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Saturn 3 (1980)

The story of a psychotic mad scientist, Captain Benson (Harvey Keitel) who travels to the Experimental Food Research Station on a moon of Saturn during a twenty-two day eclipse and communications black-out called “Shadow Lock,” the much-reviled Saturn 3 might actually be considered, first-and-foremost, a child of the Frankenstein story.

On remote Saturn 3, Benson assists two scientists working to alleviate a famine on overpopulated planet Earth. Major Adam (Kirk Douglas) and his romantic partner, the beautiful and innocent Alex (Farrah Fawcett) are wary, however, of Benson’s form of help: a colossal humanoid robot named Hector, the first of the “Demi God” series. Hector boasts human intelligence, not to mention human tissue.  And echoing his creator’s madness, he soon begins lusting mightily after Alex.

Outside the space-age Frankenstein monster tropes, Saturn 3, like Alien, is set in a location where aid and assistance from the authorities is not available.  Similarly, Earth in both films is depicted as a used-up dystopia.  In Alien, “the company” controls everything on Earth, and in Saturn 3, humans have polluted the planet and resorted to rampant drug use because of the planet’s inhospitable nature.

Hector stands in for the titular alien, as well, and hunts down the film’s Adam and Eve-styled protagonists in the facility’s twisting factory-like corridors.

Finally, in Scott’s film, the Alien is almost entirely a creature of instinct, driven by impulses to reproduce and survive. In Saturn 3, by contrast, the monster is a machine that experiences something “human” beyond programming: psychosis and lust.  Hector is ultimately beaten, however, because as a machine he can’t understand the human concept of self-sacrifice.

 

 

 

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Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Aliens (1986) director James Cameron served as a production designer on this knock-off from Roger Corman’s New World Studios, and in the process created a universe that is very reminiscent of the Scott film, at least from a visual stand-point.  Like Alien,  Galaxy of Terror is set in a “lived in” universe (unlike, say the white-on-white minimalism of 2001: A Space Odyssey [1968] or Space: 1999 [1975 - 1977].)

In Galaxy of Terror, a rescue ship, The Quest, heads to the mysterious planet called Morganthus to discover the fate of the Remus, another ship which crashed there.  Once on the surface of dark Morganthus, however, the Quest crew discovers a strange alien pyramid.  Soon, the crew — including characters played by Robert Englund, Sid Haig, Grace Zabriskie, and Erin Moran — begins to experience their worst fears made manifest.

In this case — if the plot summary hasn’t given it away already —  Galaxy of Terror draws inspiration not only from Alien, but from Forbidden Planet (1956), a film in which another rescue mission (to Altair-4) runs afoul of a “Monster from the Id,” actually the human subconscious.  That’s pretty much the case here, only with slimy monsters, doppelgangers, and a scene involving a rape by a giant alien worm.

The alien pyramid in Galaxy of Terror looks like it could have been constructed on Alien’s LV-426, and the slate gray sky above it even looks eerily similar. More trenchantly, perhaps, Galaxy of Terror’s rape scene also reflects the violent sexuality seen in Alien, the harsh re-purposing of the human body for unwholesome breeding purposes.

 

 

 

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Inseminoid (1982)

Also known as Horror Planet, Inseminoid is probably the schlockiest film on this list. The film stars Judy Geeson, Stephanie Beacham and Victoria Tennant as astronaut scientists, and involves the discovery of an ancient alien tomb on a far distant planet.

Before long, one astronaut, Sandy (Geeson), is impregnated by the last living alien in the tomb, and becomes the protective expectant mother of two ghastly alien twins. Her maternal instinct is re-purposed to serve an interloper’s biological imperative.

And just as Kane in Alien gives birth to the chest-burster, here Geeson gives birth to two monstrous tykes who — naturally — nurse on human blood.

Inseminoid’s central conceit is that everything on this distant alien world is “doubled.”  The planet orbits twin stars, and the alien mythology is obsessed with twins, and so forth.

Although lacking tact (especially in the flashbacks to Sandy’s impregnation), Inseminoid occasionally features a beautifully composed shot, such as one on the purple surface of the distant planet during a funeral.  There was also a funeral (for Kane) in Alien, but this shot of an alien vista grants the hororr film a nice sense of scope and also a visceral sense of place.

Like Alien, Inseminoid also concerns an alien species that co-opts the human race for its own reproductive requirements.  Here, the aliens suckle on the (open) wounds of dead humans, and Sandy herself becomes a bit blood-thirsty as her biology is altered to play host to most unwelcome invaders.

 

 

 

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Creature (1985)

A corporate spaceship, the Shenandoah, sets down on Titan to investigate an ancient alien archaeological site.  The Shenandoah’s mission is imperiled, however, by the arrival of a ship from a competing corporation, Richter Dynamics, and the presence of its freakazoid captain, played by a scenery-chewing Klaus Kinski.

Before long, the rival crews learn that the archaeological site was actually something akin to an alien zoo or laboratory: a collection of diverse aliens from all over the universe.  Unfortunately, one managed to break free from its captivity and is now attacking and brainwashing human beings…

Creature — while ripping off Alien lock, stock and barrel — also offers a number of notable fan touches.  The film’s Ripley equivalent is Beth Sladen (Wendy Schaal), and her name seems like a nod to Elisabeth Sladen, who accompanied Tom Baker’s Fourth Doctor in Doctor Who on several dangerous adventures in space in TV serials such as “Ark in Space” and “Planet of Evil.”   The film also quotes dialogue directly from — again – Forbidden Planet.

Additionally, the key to destroying the unleashed zoo specimen in Creature is Sladen’s knowledge of Howard Hawks’ The Thing (1951).  She remembers that — in the movie’s last act — the imperiled humans electrocuted an invading alien.

These and other tributes assure that Creature can be contextualized as more than mere Alien knock-off.

Finally, Creature also revives the “corporate” culture social critique underlying the Scott film.  In this case, the rival spaceships are involved in what the film’s dialogue calls “a fierce race for commercial supremacy.

Even in space — with drooling, brainwashing aliens out and about — the ultimate enemy is…big business.

 

 

 

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Predator (1987)

John McTiernan’s 1987 adventure/horror movie is actually part-Rambo (1985) and part-Aliens (1986), and is the best film on this list, by far.  Still, much of its energy seems derived from the Alien aesthetic.

Here, we get the remote location (a jungle in Central America instead of outer space), an alien — with a similarly distinctive jaw-line — that cuts down one human at a time, and is a kind of alpha or apex predator.

The alien in Scott’s film was the ultimate survivor, able to breed and survive in any setting.  The alien, by contrast, in Predator is the universe’s greatest hunter, a characterization that sets up a conflict with planet Earth’s greatest warrior, Dutch, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But the real commonality between Alien and Predator arises in a mid-story surprise and revelation of conspiracy.  In Alien, the Nostromo’s science officer, Ash (Ian Holm), protects the alien all along, and considers the rest of the human crew “expendable,” on secret orders from the Company.

In Predator, Dillon (Carl Weathers), an ambitious military officer, uses the cover of a rescue mission to get Dutch’s men into a position where they can acquire important documents about “the enemy.”  As in Alien, the soldiers serving under Dutch are thus considered “expendable.”

Neither Ripley nor Dutch respond well when they expose the secret conspiracy, and the conspirator.  In Predator, however, Dillon gets a shot at redemption, and Ash gets…decapitated.

 

Posted: 7th, June 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Peter Tork’s Dairy Erotica On Acid: A Look Inside The March 1971 ‘TEEN magazine

P00001 Peter Torks Dairy Erotica On Acid: A Look Inside The March 1971 ‘TEEN magazine

 

THERE’S no better insight into the teenage girl psyche than those ubiquitous teen magazines. So, let’s step into the mind of early Seventies teenyboppers and take a look at the March 1971 issue of ‘TEEN magazine.  It’s chock full groovy advertising and advice, fashion and feminine hygiene. Within its glorious pages we’ll find a plethora of mini-skirts, a cry for the whereabouts of Peter Tork, and how to look fabulous in the jungles of Vietnam.  Come take a look!

 

 

DYE ADVERT – MAY CAUSE ACID FLASHBACK

 

P00039 Peter Torks Dairy Erotica On Acid: A Look Inside The March 1971 ‘TEEN magazine

 

This tie-dye painting in combination with that wallpaper is causing a bit of a sensory overload.  While I’m sure that wall is nice while gobbling up psychedelics, it would be migraine inducing on a daily basis.

 

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Posted: 6th, June 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


So Now We Know Why You Ended Up With That Grossly Fat Porker

IT’S one of those little tragedies that hits most peoples’ love lives at one time or another. One starts out the evening lookin’ fer a little lurve and the eye alights upon one carrying a little extra weight. Some interesting handfuls perhaps: and then one wakes up next to a beached whale. Fortunately, now we know the answer. You should have eaten before you went looking:

It is a well-known maxim that you shouldn’t visit the supermarket when feeling hungry, but new research suggests the same is true when going out in search of romance.

Both men and women are more likely to be attracted to people who are larger when they go out on an empty stomach.

Men, in particular will choose more voluptuous women if they have missed a meal while women go for larger, heavier set men.

But scientists warn that when then hunger is sated, they may not feel the same.

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Posted: 6th, June 2014 | In: Money, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


D-Day’s First Reporter: Gustav The Pigeon And The Message He Brought Home

Gustav Pigeon message 6th June 1944 D Days First Reporter: Gustav The Pigeon And The Message He Brought Home

Gustav the Pigeon’s report from the beaches of Normandy, 6 June, 1944.

 

THE first war-correspondent dispatch from the D-Day landings came from Gustav, an RAF Coastal Command homing-pigeon, released by the Reuters news agency reporter Mr Montague Taylor. The pigeons were taken across the channel in wicker baskets on servicemen’s backs and set free to fly home with vital information.

The message connected to Gustav’s leg read:

We are just 20 miles or so off the beaches.

First assault troops landed 0750. Signal says no interference from enemy gunfire on beach… Steaming steadily in formation.

Lightnings, Typhoons, Fortresses crossing since 0545. No enemy aircraft seen.

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Posted: 6th, June 2014 | In: Flashback, News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


War On Free Speech: School Suspends Teenagers For Talking About Not Wearing School Uniforms

PA 13426479 War On Free Speech: School Suspends Teenagers For Talking About Not Wearing School Uniforms

 

THE War on Free Speech spots 24 students at Cowan Road Middle School, Spalding County, Atlanta, suspended for reading and responding to a Facebook post.

Of course, that could be worse. In the UK you can be jailed for that sort of thing.

The Facebook post that got the students rusticated was once encouraging them peers to break the school’s dress code during the final week of classes. The idea was for them to “wear red” on Monday.

One 7th Grade student says her response “I’m in” got her busted.

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Posted: 5th, June 2014 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Bones, April Jones And A Pit

collage2 Madeleine McCann: Bones, April Jones And A Pit

 

MADELEINE McCann: A look at the missing child in the news.

The child renamed ‘Our Maddie, by the media is back on the front pages.

Has anything been found on the dig in Praia da Luz?

Daily Star:  “Search for Maddie: Bones from hole taken for test”

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Posted: 5th, June 2014 | In: Madeleine McCann, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sgt. 1st Class Gregory McQueen: The Sexual Assault Prevention Officer ‘Who Was A Pimp’

Gregory McQueen Sgt. 1st Class Gregory McQueen: The Sexual Assault Prevention Officer Who Was A Pimp

 

THIS looks like a nice little piece of multi-tasking. There was a non-commissioned officer in the US Army who was tasked with making sure that the number of sexual assaults was kept to the minimum possible (obviously, preferably none). And he decided to do this by asking some of the more hard up female soldiers whether they’d like to do a bit of escort work, a bit of prostitution, on the side.

Well done that man:

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Posted: 4th, June 2014 | In: Money, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lake Annecy Murders: A Former French Legionnaire Commits Suicide

THE Lake Annecy Murders: A 50-year-old former French Legionnaire questioned over the murders of Sylvain Mollier and three members of the al-Hilli family from Surrey is dead. Police says he left a note.

Eric Maillaud, the Annecy prosecutor, says the man “left a note of six or seven pages in which he said he was disturbed by the questioning. He felt accused… It does not make this the main or sole reason for his action.”

Mr Maillaud says the man was not considered to have been a suspect.

Just as well…

 

Posted: 4th, June 2014 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bowe Bergdahl: Obama Only Wanted The Glory

PA 19980633 Bowe Bergdahl: Obama Only Wanted The Glory

President Barack Obama, center, walks with Jani Bergdahl, left, and Bob Bergdahl, right, to the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, Saturday, May 31, 2014, after speaking about the release of their son, U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl. Bergdahl, 28, had been held prisoner by the Taliban since June 30, 2009. He was handed over to U.S. special forces by the Taliban in exchange for the release of five Afghan detainees held by the United States. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

 

WHAT to we think of the Bowe Bergdahl affair?  Allahpundit writes:

This seems to boil down to a fundamental misunderstanding by the White House of military culture. If soldiers had reacted the way O expected, celebrating the release of a POW, it really would have tamped down the criticism of Bergdahl. For obvious reasons: If the men who risk their lives defending America are willing to forgive him and welcome his return, who are the rest of us to question him? But that’s not how the men who served with him reacted; in fact, unless I missed it, not a single member of Bergdahl’s unit has spoken up in his defense. Obama gambled heavily that both veterans and the media would keep quiet. He lost.

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Posted: 4th, June 2014 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Hideous Story Of The Liverpool Man Eaten By His Neighbours’ Status Dog

Hayley Sulley and Della Woods  The Hideous Story Of The Liverpool Man Eaten By His Neighbours Status Dog

 

SOME stories are so terrible they need repeating.

Clifford Clarke, 79, was cooking a meal in his Liverpool home. He opened the back door to let in some fresh air. Outside was a dog. Charlie was not his. The Presa Canario cross-breed had escaped from the garden of his neighbours Hayley Sulley, 30, and 29-year-old Della Woods. Charlie was one of the couple’s three dogs. All big dogs. All status dogs.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2014 | In: News | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bowe Bergdahl: What Really Happened?

PA 19980636  Bowe Bergdahl: What Really Happened?

 

PRESIDENT Obama looks weak. Doesn’t he? He’s ordered the release of five Afghan militants from Guantanamo Bay in exchange for American soldier Bowe Bergdahl. Private First Class Bergdahl was captured by the Taliban on June 30 2009. So they say. Some of his former comrades says he deserted. But Bergdahl was the only US prisoner held in Afghanistan.

The US tried to rescue him. Six soldiers died trying.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2014 | In: News | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


From Soup Tins To Dog Turds – How Life Got ‘Iconic’

THE England squad has departed to Miami for warm-up games en route to the World Cup finals in Brazil.

Or should that be ‘the England squad has embarked upon its iconic journey to Miami…’?

 

Icon1 From Soup Tins To Dog Turds   How Life Got Iconic

 

 

A recent ‘survey’ conducted among passengers at Heathrow Airport sought to find ‘the top 10 iconic departures that resulted in sporting history’.

The winner, should you happen to be interested, was Sir Ranulph Fiennes flying to conquer Everest and cross both polar ice caps in 2009. The runner-up was Andy Murray flying to America to win the 2012 US Open.

Leaving aside the preposterously tenuous nature of the concept – the plane trip that preceded the historic achievements – one thing in particular stands out: the word ‘iconic’ itself.

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Posted: 3rd, June 2014 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Martin And Mary Smith, A Spade’s A Spade And Digging For Agony

MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s look at the missing child in the news media…

She’s front-page news:

The Sun leads with a prosaic picture of woman holding two spades. Hovering over the photo of the missing child, the inference is clear. The police are not looking for a living person.

As the Mail reports:

‘They understandably have to remain positive and assume Madeleine is alive, but the dig raises the possibility of finding evidence that she is not’, a source close to the couple said.

 

Screen shot 2014 06 03 at 06.42.28 Madeleine McCann: Martin And Mary Smith, A Spades A Spade And Digging For Agony

 

 

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Posted: 3rd, June 2014 | In: Madeleine McCann, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0