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WE might accept as axiomatic the belief that patience is a virtue. However, over the decades, several notable and even celebrated science fiction TV series have failed to live up to this ideal.
Instead of demonstrating patience and prudence, their makers have instead demonstrated radical impatience, and — after promising first season sorties — instituted sweeping changes that, in some cases, threw away the baby with the bath water.
HOW modern journalism works:
Guardian editor: Alan Rusbridger
Guardian Comment is Free Writer: Lindsay Mackie, aka Mrs Alan Rusbridger.
Guardian Comment is Free Community Co-ordinator Bella Mackie – aka Bella Rudbridger, daughter to – get this – Alan Rusbridger and Lindsay Makie. (You may know her as BellaM.)
Of course, Bella scored her job on merit.
ON May 3 1996, Theodore John Kaczynski, 53, had his mug shot taken by7 the Lewis and Clark County Jail in Helena, Montana. Kaczynski had been taken into custody at his mountain cabin north of Helena as a suspect in the Unabomber bombing spree.
The man called the “Unabomber” had killed three people and maimed 23 others with parcel bombs. His first known device exploded in 1978 and the last, killing California Forestry Association president Gilbert Murray. His campaign had continued to his most recent bomb in 1995. His final bombs was his 16th.
WHEN Kurt Cobain died, a whole generation lost one of their favourite icons. While he wasn’t necessarily a spokesperson for everyone through his songs, there was something very pleasing about his stance against business, phoney or otherwise. He was just about the only superstar who actively championed bands who needed the publicity as well.
Can you imagine any band now hailing the virtues of Teenage Fanclub and The Vaselines on international TV?
However, Cobain died and we didn’t see his like again. So what became of his legacy? Well, it didn’t take too long for unreleased music to get hastily stuck on some compilations and Nirvana t-shirts to get reissued by the buttload. And then Cobain appeared in a video game, which was fun but weird.
Gypsies On Benefits And Proud: The Daily Star Flogs Channel 5′s Benefits Street For ‘Sponging’ Foreigners
THE Daily Star once told its readers to vote for the EDL. Todays its anti-foreigner message is cloaked in a front page about gloating, freeloading Romanians:
The Star’s (prop. Richard Desmond) headline is linked to a Channel 5 (prop. Richard Desmond) documentary. The paper tells us:
TV documentary exposes how gypsies are happy to exploit British benefit system
THE new film about Noah, starring Russell Crowe, has been causing a lot of grief among certain religious types. Of course, most religious people have a faith strong enough to brush off some poxy film, but we’re looking at those shrieking mentals who can’t stay calm or, it seems, apply logic to a situation.
The film tells the famous story about Noah and his ark. God gets wrathful and sends a flood which is destined to wipe everything out. Destroying everything in a flood seems a bit snide, but as we all know, God is a vengeful so-and-so. And presumably, floating and water-breathing creatures weren’t at all bothered by this, to which we glean that God has no problem with ducks or fish. They’re the most saintly animals, obviously.
However, there’s a few Christians that are not at all happy with a Biblical tale being shown on the big screen. Instead of being happy that the word of God is being distributed worldwide, coupled with a very famous actor, they are furious.
MUSICIANS like Billy Joel and Elton John didn’t start out as solo acts. Like nearly all solo pop stars, they began as just another member of a band. I thought it would be interesting to take a look at musicians who we primarily identify as being solo acts and see what bands they were in before venturing out on their own and making it big.
TO the delight of virtually everyone, the late, great Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988 – 1999) seems to be experiencing something of a pop culture resurgence these days.
April 1st of this year saw former Mystery Science Theater 3000 stars Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy return to top form in National Geographic’s Total Riff-Off, and the cable network Retro TV recently announced that it will begin airing MST-3K reruns starting July 5, 2014.
STROLLING down Memory Lane on the way to Anorak Towers, we came across an old advertisement for Spangles – the sweet signifier of choice for lazy peddlers of nostalgia.
But instead of invoking it alongside Chopper bicycles and Spacehoppers, it invoked an earlier, less innocent time, when germs were everywhere, and the role of confectionary packaging wasn’t simply to announce the Old English delights within, but to keep dirt out. ALL dirt. Yes, that includes you, Foreign Dirt, coming over year and contaminating our indigenous flavours.
THE Daily Express and Daily Mail lead with news of migration.
The Express states:
It’s always a “flood” of human misery in the Express.
NIGEL Farage has achieved nothing in his time as Ukip leader other than promote himself. His mission is to gift the two biggest parties an identity and sense of purpose. His comments, such as a recent sense of pride in having “taken a third of the BNP’s support”, seducing those bigots “frustrated” and “upset” by their changing communities, serve to demolish the once feared BNP and make Ukip wholly unelectable.
If Farage leaves, perhaps under a scandal, what then for Ukip?
Nothing. The party will disintegrate.
THEY say not to judge a book by its cover, but I think it’s pretty safe to say all of these books are horrible without ever turning a page. That being said, it’s sometimes fun to check out some good old fashioned paperback trash – so let’s have a look.
Perhaps this is a prequel to the William Burrough’s classic, Naked Lunch. I suggest, then, a third volume called Naked Supper and make it a trilogy.
THE MAN WHO SAID NO
You mean they actually found the guy who said no to sex? I thought it was just an urban legend……. Oh, wait…. I’ve just been informed it’s a false alarm. He didn’t say “no”; he was merely clearing his throat. It’s all been a big mistake. False alarm.
RONALD REAGAN: A MAN TRUE TO HIS WORD
My favorite part of Ronald Reagan: A Man True To His Word is when the president sells arms to Iran then uses the cash to fund the Nicaraguan rebels. Don’t miss the exciting climax when he completely denies it.
“Suspecting Linnie’s affairs with the others, Chris’ vanity couldn’t accept the thought of being included out because of his age.”
I think the word they’re looking for is “excluded”. Somebody get Mary S. Gooch a dictionary pronto.
I WAS A TEEN-AGE DWARF
No offense to those short of stature, but this title puts the vertically challenged on par with being a werewolf or Frankenstein. (Note: This is a Dobie Gillis novel, so it was actually pretty popular in its day.)
KISS MY FIST!
Damn! Those hardboiled pulp fiction novels could get to be pretty brutal, but this is extreme. Just be glad I didn’t show you the back cover where he karate chops a kitten.
SWEET DADDY: THE STORY OF A PIMP
I think there’s been a mistake. The title should read something like: Sweet Daddy: The Story of a Tax Attorney. I’m no authority on pimps, but I think they could have chosen a guy who looks a lot more “pimp like”.
BURT REYNOLDS HOT LINE: THE LETTERS I GET AND WRITE!
I doubt Burt even noticed the naked woman attached to his backside. In the 1970s, nude females collected on Burt’s body like barnacles. Lucky bastard.
COUCH OF DESIRE
Forget 50 Shades of Grey, I recommend Couch of Desire (truthfully, it’s probably written better). But if the eroticism is just too extreme for your tastes, I suggest the much lighter read, Beanbag Chair of Friendship.
GOOD NIGHT SWEET DYKE
A perfect end to our reading list of shame. Good night, dear reader.
TO Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where a Starbucks barista has used caramel sauce to draw a pentagram and 666 in a customer’s coffee.
It turns out that this is not on the menu. It wasn’t even asked for. Starbucks tells The Daily Adviser:
(Sunday) was the first we heard of it when she posted on our Facebook page,” Starbucks social media team spokesman Tom Kuhn told The Daily Advertiser. “We reached out to her through social media and apologized. We’re taking the complaint seriously. We’re not sure who served her or what kind of beverage it was. It looks kind of caramel-ish in the photos.
FLASHBACK to September 1 1928: How much did Manchester United footballer Frank Munn resemble his Player’s cigarette card?
The card in 1929:
Munn in 1929:
FLASHBACK to November 14 1987:
West German Minister for Economic Cooperation, Hans Klein, right, dances with Elke Koska, wife and muse of German conceptual artist HA Schult, at the annual federal press ball on Friday, November 14, 1987 at the Beethoven Hall in Bonn, Germany.
It’s cracking photo.
And it’s her we’re looking at, isn’t. It;’ what she hoped we’d do. Here’s Elke in 2009:
This is her husband and his work:
And here’s Hans Klein. We were looking at Elke’s gigantic hair and HA’s zany art. But it’s Hans who turns out to be the one to watch:
If you spot a recurring theme, do say:
Hans Klein, the old charmer, died on December 2 1996.
A trained journalist, a diplomat, press officer of the Olympic Games in Munich, close friend of Franz Josef Strauss and development minister. He became Helmut Kohl’s government spokesman in April 1989. It was job he called: “The worst suicide mission to which I have ever gotten myself into.” After the Berlin Wall carbon let his chancellery minister Rudolf Seiter inform the media. ”
We need more charmers like him in politics.
WHEN THERESA Ritchie spots a dog poo on an Aberdeen street she decorates it in strawberries and cream, or icing sugar and Nutella, which she keeps in her handbag.
“People in Peterhead are regularly stepping on dog mess on the pavements. I wanted to highlight the problem in an amusing way. This shows people are watching dog owners who can’t be bothered to clean up after their pets. The food idea has showed that dog poo wasn’t being cleaned up by the council. It sometimes lies on the streets for around eight weeks.”
MEN’S fashion is an endless source of point-and-laugh fun. In this instalment, we hard back to the 1970s, wherein the Onesie For Him was knocking them bandy in the boardroom and bedroom.
Do say: With your Onesie, you look macho and more ready for action than an aroused Playgirl stud. Nice moustache.
Don’t say: Ha-ha. It’s a babygro, you muppet!