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EVERYTHING I learned about Scotland I read in the tabloids:
SCOTLAND votes! Scotland decides! Scotland puts its hair in a bun and its bellend in a toaster. Scotland is big news. These are 20 of the best Internet reactions:
First look at the purpose built studio where Nick Robinson will be covering today’s Scottish Independence vote. pic.twitter.com/EVNYziLDt6
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) September 18, 2014
THE increasingly bizarre Kay Burley has been doing her thing on Sky News again, this time referring to a Yes campaigner in the Scottish Independence Referendum as ‘a bit of a nob’.
We should hold our own referendum on the spelling of nob/knob when referring to the male genitalia.
HAVE you been getting your Indy Referendum news from the tabloids? If not, you missed some informative stuff.
The Daily Mail warned that an Independent Scotland would have to muddle on without Jeremy Clarkson.
The Sun saw an omen in the skies:
The Sun provides context.
The Mirror – “the self-styled “intelligent tabloid” – had news from Chicken Little:
This made it onto STV:
And this horror in the Standard:
Any we missed..?
WAS it the lack of patriotism or the subject matter that uspet educators in Thailand?
READER the The Real Stig has a view on the killing in Koh Tao, Thailand of British backpacker Hannah Witheridge and fellow tourist David Miller.
The Thai junta chief and prime minister Prayut Chan-O-Cha appeared to call into question the conduct of the victim as well as the attackers.
“We have to look into the behaviour of the other party, too, because this kind of incident should not happen to anybody and it has affected our image,’ he told reporters today, referring to the two tourists. Speaking a few hours later, he said Thai authorities must tell ‘tourists when the safe times are to be outside, we have to help them understand.”
Is Thailand as safe and welcoming as thery would Westerners believe?
In 2006, two Thai fishermen confessed to the rape and murder of the British backpacker Katherine Horton.
In 2009, three migrant workers murderd Malcolm Robertson with a hammer.
In 2012, Stephen Ashton was killed in the crossfire between two Thai gangs.
The Foreign and Commonwealth Office says 11 Britons have been murdered in Thailand since 2009.
THIS might be the most Hampstead story of all time. It’s grim up North London, as the Ham & High reports:
WHO is Britain’s most fertile dad? The Sun reveals him to be Michael Redman, 59. He’s squired 26 children by nine different women.
He works as a bus driver. And that seems relevant given that the Mr Redman’s job takes top billing on the Sun’s front page. Readers start asking if being a bus driver is good or your sperm and if human life’s big creator is operating to a plan to fill a bus with his own progency, so creating the world’s largest school-run vehicle.
THE DAILY Express has a delicious headline about its favouite bugbear: immigrants. News is that an “illegal immigrant” was found hiding “UNDER: a family’s camper van.
THE Daily Mail is outraged at the standards of education. It blames “liberal education dogma” for the lowering of education standards.
The paper invited “teacher and graduate” Sarah Smith to tell readers just how dire it all is. And she knows who to blame.
Yes. It’s the Daily Mail’s sub-editor who failed to spot the typo in the standfirst.
Yes, yes, we all make them – even here at Anorka – but the error at the top of an article about how how the Mail’s liberal enemies ruined the country is choice…
WHEN Minnesota’s Kahler Nygard headed to Denver he was flagged as a person of interest. At Denver Airport, the airline Spirit, the TSA and above all KEITH decided he hadn’t been searched properly. The Keithians wanted to analyse Kahler after he’d flown. They wanted an extra feel.
Fox News says Nygard, “was on a list that should have singled him out for screening — but that didn’t happen.”
According to the report, Nygard should have been subjected to enhanced screening at Minneapolis Airport because his name was, “on the secondary security screen list known as “quad S,” and Nygard, “had a boarding pass designated with four bold S’s.”
Four S’s. Not two?
THE coming political furore of the Scottish question is not yet fully realised by Britain’s Home Counties.
It may not be sufficient to wave goodbye and tell the ginger ones not to write but not forget to collect the drunken Jock beggars before shutting the backyard doors.
Our postal votes are already in.
This Scottish household has no truck with a U.K. Government which was unelected, unwanted by millions, unrepresentative and worse unrepentant. A grubby coalition which has set back the Liberal ambitions of more millions by several decades and sullied the already filthy reputation of politics.
KYRON Horman has made it into the pages of the National Enquirer. In a article entitled “TAKEN! KIDNAP EPIDEMIC ROCKS AMERICA”, readers are told “Kyron Hormon gone from school”.
Only, we don’t know for certain that the child was kidnapped. All we know for certain is that on June 4 2010, Kyron Horman, then aged 7, vanished. And then the facts ended. A single story thread was spun by a desperate and clueless police force and a sensationalist media unable to stick to the fact.
SALESIAN College, Farnborough, offers Catholics “Educational Opportunity’s” for life.
IS Nothing Safe?
A defrocked Catholic priest was found guilty Friday of raping dozens of children and a sled dog in the Canadian Arctic, where he worked as a missionary for decades. The Belgian-born Eric Dejaeger, 67, was convicted of 31 counts of sexual offenses against children and one count of bestiality…
Public broadcaster CBC said they recounted how Dejaeger used his position as a missionary to lure and trap them into sex, threatening them with hellfire and separation from their families if they exposed him.
As one readers notes: “While this story disgusted and enraged me I have to admit the thought I can’t keep out of my head is ‘Really, a sled dog?’
QUEEN’S Park Rangers defender Rio Ferdinand says Chelsea “Legend” John Terry “is the biggest idiot”.
RIO Ferdinand today lifts the lid on the John Terry racism row that ended their international careers.
Did it end their careers? Maybe not because in September 2013, the Evening Standard reported:
When he retired, Ferdinand insisted his decision would allow younger players to come through but also admitted the threat of injuries and protecting his Old Trafford career were reasons. “That was certainly part of the decision over England,” added Ferdinand, who recently made his 300th Premier League appearance for United.
So. Ferdinand quit England. England did not quit Ferdinand.
FACE of the day: Anett Taut works on her margarine Einstein sculpture at the culinary art fair ‘Inoga’ in Erfurt, central Germany, Saturday, Sept. 13, 2014. (AP Photo/Jens Meyer) Date: 13/09/2014
(With E numbers).
WHEN is a war not a war? That question to Obama, who calls the assault on ISIS an “effort”. Did he ever read The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, the fictional diary of a teenager?
One entry reads:
The nation has been told that Britain and Argentina are not at war, we are at conflict.
This was not going to be a huge deal, he indicated. He called it an “effort,” not a war, and stressed that “this effort will be different from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. It will not involve American combat troops fighting on foreign soil.” There was no talk of shock and awe; what Obama had in mind was a ”counterterrorism campaign” that “will be waged through a steady, relentless effort.” And Obama’s lack of any specificity regarding the scale of the effort, the timing, goals for partner participation, or any kind of metrics for success was either cover for him not really having a viable plan — or a brilliant rhetorical strategy to keep open the option of ratcheting everything back once the hysteria passes. Or both.
ROTHERHAM Borough Council said in 2012 that “not indigenous white British” children were removed from their foster parents because the adults supported UKIP and the council disapproved of that party’s stance on immigration. Labour-run Rotherham, haven of State-facilitated paedophiles, was concerned about the “needs of the children longer term”.
The children were from Eastern Europe.
THE 15-year-old boy arrrested in connection with the blaze at Manchester Dogs’ Home has been bailed. The fire killed around 60 animals, but 150 dogs were rescued.
A JustGiving account set up by the Manchester Evening News has raised more than £1.2m.
BIRMINGHAM’S bicycle lands are racist. The Birmingham Mail reports on the city’s Cycle City project, “which hopes to get motorists to ditch their cars, will be backed by £6.3 million from the council, as well as a £17 million Department for Transport grant.”
Good for the environment. Good for your health. Good for local business that can be visited by shoppers who can stop without fear of having their cars slapped with massive fines.
So. Time to heard from Coun Deirdre Alden (Con, Edgbaston):
“The vast majority of cyclists on our roads are young, white men… most elderly people are not going to cycle, and it would be dangerous for them to start on our streets now… women of any ethnic group who wish to wear modest clothing, and I count myself in that category, are not going to cycle. It is a discriminatory form of transport”.
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TRANSFER Balls: Arsenal are linked by Spanish newspaper SPORT to Barcelona’s Munir El Haddadi and Sergi Samper.
Both players sit on contracts with €12million release clauses. So. If Arsene Wenger acts now he can get them both for less than they could be worth when they are fully grown stars.
Arsenal fans may well wonder who these players are. Well, as ever, the lazier elements of the media bill both as versions of what has gone before.
The Indy hails the – yep – new Cesc Fabregas!
TO a cemetery in Guardamar del Segura, near Alicante on Spain’s Costa Blanca, where the a man’s body has been exhumed. The man, who we’ll call Bernie, is being replanted to lie for eternity alongside his newly departed wife. Overseeing the unearthing are the man’s niece and nephew. The body emerges for the hole its been in for 23 years.
THE Daily Mail helps those readers not searching for photos of a naked Jennifer Lawrence “flaunting her curves” by explaining how cloud computing works.