Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 242

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

Barnacle Willy

‘IT’S one of the more unusual dangers of summer, but let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of falling asleep on a beach. The Glas Javnosti newspaper reports that a 23-year-old who was lying in shallow water to escape …

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fabric Of Society

‘EVERY day, all around the world, people are going about their daily business unaware of the terrible crisis threatening them. One of the most valuable resources on the planet is fast running out, and it could change our lives beyond …

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Elvis Lives!

‘IT’S just as well Elvis isn’t around to live in a world without plentiful supplies of polyester. Or is he? Today, on the 25th anniversary of what is widely believed to be his death, the Mail publishes a dossier of …

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Loving And Leaving

‘ONE music legend unlikely to be seen in Britain is Geri Halliwell. And even if she were a music legend, she still wouldn’t be seen on these shores for much longer because, as the Star reports, Geri ”is to quit …

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sophie’s Choice

‘COLD feet before a marriage is nothing unusual, and if one is about to marry into royalty there must be even more cause for nerves. Certainly no-one would blame Sophie Rhys-Jones for having second thoughts before her wedding.

”Regrets? I’ve

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Do The Maths

”’WHAT’S THE POINT OF EXAM IF YOU CAN’T FAIL?” asks the Sun with masterful rhetoric, but a shaky grasp of grammar.

Even with the aid of a calculator, the task proved difficult

”Fury as 94 per cent pass A-levels,” it …

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sex Drive

‘THEY say men can’t do two things at once, but this story from Canada proves it’s a myth.

Police in Ontario were reportedly ”astonished” to discover that a car they stopped near the town of Barrie was being driven by …

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Socks Appeal

‘THIS summer we have seen another concerted campaign by the fashion editors and lifestyle columnists to kill off the age-old tradition of British men wearing socks with shoes.

Endangered species

Even a recent Times leader got in on the act. …

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Waking The Dead

‘PARENTS are forever complaining that teenagers play their music loud enough to wake the dead, but for one family, at least, it’s worked in their favour.

”Got anyting by The Smiths?”

”Rap star Eminem has brought a teenager who ‘died’ …

Posted: 14th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Toast To The King

‘NOTHING could bring Elvis back from the dead, especially as he’s actually alive and well and working in a KFC outlet in Norwich. But, in the lead up to the 25th anniversary on Friday of his so-called death, the tabloids …

Posted: 14th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Young Man

‘WILL Young may be big, but he’ll never be as big as Elvis – not unless he has McDonald’s set up a restaurant in his living room. But still, the Pop Idol is discovering that there are some drawbacks to …

Posted: 14th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kat Creamed

‘DOCTOR Truman must be suffering from severe sleep deprivation caused by Zoe’s disappearance as next week he sleeps with her mother, Kat, ”by mistake”. Regular viewers will of course recall that Anthony had a relationship with Kat some months earlier …

Posted: 14th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Moon In June – And July, And August…

”’NOBODY parties like the British,” announces the Star in its influential editorial column. ”On holiday we have a fierce reputation as hell-raisers.” Quite so.

We’re still fighting them on the beaches

But what has prompted this proud and defiant announcement? …

Posted: 12th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Wedding Belles

‘THANKS to its one-child policy, females in China are in short supply. Which could explain a spate of grave robberies in Shaanxi province.

The Straits Times reports that a Chinese crime syndicate has allegedly been digging up female corpses to …

Posted: 12th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Crocodile Tears

‘THERE is a horrible air of inevitability about the hunt for missing ten-year-olds, Holly Evans and Jessica Chapman. As every hour passes, the chances of their being found alive diminish and the feeling of dread grows.

Accountants at the Express

Posted: 9th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


It’s A Dung Deal

‘ALL out of cow dung? Got a heap of dung, but it smells bad? Then we’ve got the product for you.

An Indian dairy firm has started marketing instant Holy Cow Dung to help urban Hindus perform their rituals properly. …

Posted: 7th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sydney Or The Bush

‘IT might be wetter than Prince Edward in a bath but the tourists are flocking to these sun-missed shores.

Nova Scotia by night

After last year’s summer season when travellers were scared away by terror flights and foot and mouth, …

Posted: 5th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Comic Strip

‘AFTER witnessing their demure, ladylike behaviour on our television screens over the past couple of months, the photographs of the Big Brother gals in today’s Sun come as something of a shock.

”Oi, Derek. Someone’s nicked our keks.”

The paper …

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jailhouse Rocked

‘SUN readers will be relieved that Jade missed the strippers’ wild party – as PJ will no doubt agree, she has molested enough helpless males already.

Punters reported seeing a whale in the Cam

But unfortunately, they cannot escape the …

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Les Be Friends

‘WHEN, earlier this week, Alan Duncan became the first Tory MP to openly declare he was gay, nobody was prepared for the impact it would have on British society.

Les Battersby never looked like this

And the shock waves have …

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tub Thumping

‘SHE was wrinkled before she went in, but you should have seen her when she came out. Lillian Harkendorff, 82, of Falls City, Nebraska, spent more than four days in her bath before being rescued.

The widow was recovering from …

Posted: 31st, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


From Vice To Spice

‘JAMIE Theakston is not exactly the best advert for British men after his recent and well-publicised visit to a Mayfair brothel.

Baby changed her image after spending a few days with Jamie

But there is barely a whip or a …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Bottom Line

”’I DON’T get a thrill from reading buttocks,” said 39-year-old clairvoyant Ulf Buck, of Meldorf, near Hamburg.

Mr Buck, who has been blind since the age of three, has made a name for himself by offering an unusual service – …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kiss Me, Kate

‘IT’S just what you need after two months cooped up inside a house with a dozen strangers – to get to marry Ian Beale. But that’s the prospect facing Big Brother 3 winner Kate Lawler, with the Star reporting this …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


No Sex, Please

‘IT is men like Ian Beale and PJ who give Englishmen a bad name.

The only Englishman to pass Leah’s stringent testing

And women like Leah McLaren, an ”acknowledged Canadian beauty” who this morning complains to the Mail about how …

Posted: 30th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0