Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 242

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

Shane’s Shame

‘EVER wondered what it’s like to snog Christine Hamilton? No, us neither, but here’s the Sun to tell us anyway. ”Snogging Christine Hamilton was like kissing an octopus,” it declares in very big letters.

”I thought he was a highly
READ ON

Posted: 11th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pet Cemetery II: Return Of The Mummy

‘PET cemeteries are scary places rarely talked about. Mummies are scary objects often talked about. But now a cemetery for animal mummies has been found, a new horror movie is surely in the making.

The burial area was found near … READ ON

Posted: 11th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Tough Get Going

”’WILL They Strike Today?” asks the Daily Express on its front page. And the answer, gauged from the TUC Conference in Blackpool, is: no, but they’ll have a bloody good grumble.

New pictures of call centre supervisor revealed

Tony Blair … READ ON

Posted: 11th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Drawing The Line

‘TODAY, on the 365th day of remembrance of Nine Eleven, the badger community will also be mourning the death of one of its own. As with human beings, it is illegal to kill a badger in this country unless you … READ ON

Posted: 11th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Young Tear-Away

‘LACHRYMOSE larcenist Edward Hardy burst into tears when a shopkeeper told him to get lost as he was trying to rob the shop.

Hardy had pointed a gun at the 60-year-old grocer and demanded the money from the till, but … READ ON

Posted: 10th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


King Of The Jungle

‘TONY Blackburn claimed his sole reason for taking part on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here was to get fit. But the 59-year-old DJ will soon be able to afford all the treadmills and personal trainers he wants as … READ ON

Posted: 10th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Spanish Armada

‘TOMORROW the papers are likely to don black mourning clothes as they celebrate the first anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, but for now they are content to feast on their usual daily diet … READ ON

Posted: 10th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


No Sex Please

‘A YEAR ago, all the talk was of the clash of civilisations and whether the Christian world and Muslim world could co-exist. Today, all the chat is about the clash between the boys and the girls on Popstars: The Rivals … READ ON

Posted: 10th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tony-tastic!

‘MOST of us suspect that there is more than one Saddam Hussain. The stand-ins pose and posture, while the real deal is out of town, living it up as a Saddam Hussain celebrity double at the Sands casino is Las … READ ON

Posted: 9th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Confession Booth

‘TELL any TB it’s for chari-dee and watch them sit in a vat of baked beans for hours.

Downing Street guards had orders to shoot this man on sight

Tell TB3 that he can get in a good dig at … READ ON

Posted: 9th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tory Highlights

‘FOR those who keyed ”VOTE TONY” into their phones on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! it’s only a short step to repeating the process when the next General Election comes by.

Hair by Burke, dress by Disraeli

But … READ ON

Posted: 9th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Modern Terror

‘WHO would have thought that this country stands on the brink of a war with Iraq – a war that could not only cost hundreds of thousands of lives but one which could provoke catastrophe in the Middle East? Who … READ ON

Posted: 6th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Touch Of Frost?

‘WITH crime levels in this country as near to zero as statistics allow and police officers sitting around in the nick with nothing to do but watch old episodes of The Bill on UK Gold, we are glad to report … READ ON

Posted: 6th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Heir With No Hair?

‘WE cannot all be blessed with the looks and talent of Darren Day or Jenny Frost, but some of us can luxuriate in a full head of hair. Not Prince William, though, who is losing his matinee idol looks as … READ ON

Posted: 6th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tanked

‘NAKED flames and petrol do not mix. It’s a lesson learned early by most motorists, but seems to have slipped the mind of one man in Slovakia.

The 30-year-old, who has not been named, says his fuel gauge had broken, … READ ON

Posted: 6th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Roller Disco

‘THERE’S nothing worse than inconspicuous consumption. Discreet, old-money grandees, Jurgen Klinsmann tootling around in an old VW… Makes you sick doesn’t it?

Spirit Of Ecstasy prepares for a bit of car surfing

If you’ve got it flaunt it, we say. … READ ON

Posted: 5th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Hard Act To Follow?

‘THE so-called hard man Roy Keane is in the news again today, and once again his autobiography is at the centre of things.

”How about a day off? I was in your mag yesterday, the day before…”

”Roy so scared … READ ON

Posted: 5th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Into The Lion’s Den

‘WHEN it comes to immensely stupid drunken pranks, this outdoes stealing garden gnomes by far.

After going on a 12-pint drinking spree with friends in Cornwall, Scott Donlan broke into a zoo and tried to feed stolen ice creams to … READ ON

Posted: 5th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Expressing Our Deepest Fears

‘THE Daily Mail and the Daily Express have come up with some cracking headlines over the years. But not for them the snappy puns of the red-tops, or the wry sideways glances of the broadsheets.

”Remember to blow it right
READ ON

Posted: 5th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Trigger Happy

‘MORE evidence that something needs to be done about gun control in the US – a Pennsylvania man has been charged with shooting a friend who crept up behind him at a concert and gave him a wedgie.

Daniel Strouss, … READ ON

Posted: 4th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Birds Of A Feather

‘LAURA has found her very own mental best mate in the shape of Tom’s ex, Sadie. The two have a lot in common: both are goggled-eyed blondes, who have been off Mr Reality’s Christmas card list for years. Sadie is … READ ON

Posted: 4th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


In Search Of It

‘IF you had ever wondered why ‘It’ girls are so-called, the Star is happy to provide an explanation this morning. Apparently, the name derives from the fact that under normal circumstances they cannot survive for more than a week without … READ ON

Posted: 4th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Style Without Class

‘IF Tara does return from her ordeal by chastity, it will be to a different Britain. The Mirror carries the distressing news that many top-class goods are losing their snob value because too many ordinary people are buying them.

”But
READ ON

Posted: 4th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Such Fragrance

‘MARY Archer is no stranger to the inside of a courtroom – the fragrance and elegance that make it unthinkable that her husband could ever have indulged in cold, unloving rubber-insulated sex in a seedy hotel with a common prostitute … READ ON

Posted: 4th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Interstellar Gellar

‘IN a land where even people up north say ”Awight, mate” and ”Nah wot I mean?” in broad EastEnders’ English, it’s a wonder that until now Uri Geller was not a name embedded in the rich pasture of Cockney rhyming … READ ON

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0