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Posts Tagged ‘omar bakri’

Sheikh Abdullah Daoud introduces burkas for babies: parents of ugly kids rejoice

SLOW news day? No worries. Just point a camera at some Islamist loon and wait. Today’s willing pillock is Sheikh Abdullah Daoud, a Saudi cleric. He says that to prevent themselves from being molested, toddlers and babies should wear burkas. (Well, it worked for Michael Jackson’s nippers.)
To parents of less attractive children, this may be manna from Heaven.

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Posted: 5th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Mad Mullah Omar Bakri Arrested In Lebanon: Hezbollah Might Laugh

OMAR Bakri, once the UK’s leading mad-mullah, the Tottenham Taliban, the tabloids go-to source of bloodcurdling rhetoric and gurning, has been arrested in Lebanon. It was Barki who called the 9/11 murderers the “magnificent 19” – although, if the crowd wills it, he might also scream that it was the Jews wot dunnit.

Lebanon is tough on Salafi Islamism. (Although if you are one of the country’s Shi’ite extremists, carry on. Hezbollah rules!)

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Posted: 15th, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment


Sun Targets The Islamist Jew Targeters

The Sun says Alan Sugar is being fired on by terrorists. Says Tim Ireland:

The Sun’s article claiming that ‘top jews’ were being targeted by Muslims (that was in fact based on forum comments written by their quoted terrorism ‘expert’ posing as a Muslim) has been removed [404] from The Sun’s website without explanation.

You don’t suppose it was bollox, do you? Can it be that hard to find a resident nutter? Omar Bakri- how they miss you…

Posted: 12th, January 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


The X Fatwa: Omar Barki Answers Your Questions

OMAR Bakri Mohammed is back. After too long a wait, and too many pretenders, the UK’s very own gurning Islamist loon is broadcasting again.

Eat your heart out, Rossy!

Sadly, Bakri is only available for those of you with an internet connection. The rest will have to make do with Anorak’s compilation DVD and video “Now That’s What I Call Ranting” Volumes 1,2,3,4 and now 5.

Sky reports that Bakri has been delivering sermons on the internet chat room PalTalk from his home in Lebanon.

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Posted: 13th, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment


Dear Anjem, All We Want For Christmas Is Omar Barki

ANJEM Choudary tries and tries and – boy – how he tries. But he’s no Omar Bakri.

Granted, he has the glasses and the he has the beard, but both are too neat, too tidy, too contrived.

“MAD MULLAH RANTS: BAN EVIL XMAS,” screams the Star’s front-page headline. The “pathway to hellfire” is lined with tinsel and covered in shards of Christmas tree leaves.

Christmas is evil, says the mad mullah. And a million housewives agree.

If Christmas is evil “Why does he have a beard like Santa?” asks the Star. Few would care to get close enough to Choudary to sit on his knee and give that beard a hearty tug. Would it come away in the hand revealing the shy feminine-skinned man beneath?

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Posted: 10th, December 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Call 118 118 For A Racist Gag Or Get One Free In The Daily Mail

THE Daily Mail abhors racism. So when it learnt that the 118 118 phone service was sending out racist jokes, it responded with fury:

THE OLD ONES ARE The BEST – Dwarf jokes. Irish jokes. Nothing’s off limits in this interview, and as our girl learns. There’s one major difference between Frank Carson and the M1. You can turn off the M12 – Daily Mail, Jane Fryer

“This sick joke – Student uses directory inquiries’ text for a gag service …and gets a racist reply” – Daily Mail

Kameron Abbas test 118118 and gets asked:

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Posted: 27th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment


War On Laughter: Terrorists Taught To Tell Jokes

IT’S an established fact that Omar Bakri is a terrific after dinner speaker, winning the MUFTA trophy three years running, most recently for a routine that saw his rhyme Al Qaeda with James Spader and an impression of Hale & Pace reciting a Monty Python sketch.

On the circuit, Bakri knocks the fundamentalists bandy.

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Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


MI5 Fight To Keep Abu Qatada In UK As Tory MP Foments Fear

“THOUSANDS of fanatics in Britain are planning a series of massacres, it was claimed last night,” writes the Star.

The news from an MI5 leaked paper is chilling:

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Posted: 10th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (8)


Poppy Cocks: Gaunt and Choudary Need To Remember

“VILE HATE PREACHER INSULTS OUT POPPIES,” screams the Star.

The Sun cocks an ear to the West. It picks up its hotline to Omar Bakri. The Sun’s dial-a-loon denies all knowledge.

“Not, me, guv,” chimes Bakri, Beirut Hackney Cab Driver 5641b. “But I wish I’d have thought of it. While you’re on the blower can I wish death on Pudsey Bear instead?” Save it, Bakri.

Back to the Star, and Anjem Choudary says our poppies are crap. Our poppies aren’t even real poppies. Our Great British poppies smell of NOTHING.

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Posted: 7th, November 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment


Omar Bakri Declares War On The X Factor

SLOW News day. Then call Omar Bakri. Come in Omar Barki… Do you read me?

The Sun picks up its walkie talkie and tunes into the Bakri cackle. The result is nothing less than “THE X FATWA – Terror alert as Bakri slams troops charity song”.

Eat your heart out Mazher Mahmood, News International’s fake sheikh. Bakri is the real deal, bringing front-page exclusives on a daily basis.

(If you call, he’ll rant about whatever you like. Omar, if you’re reading this, set up a premium rate RANT LINE. I’ve got ideas, call me.)

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Posted: 21st, October 2008 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comments (3)


Paul McCartney Loses His Head In Ringo Starr Look- Alike Revenge Train Attack

GIVEN the way it bobbles to and fro, it was ever a possibility that Paul McCartney’s head would one day come clean off.

The chance of Macca losing his head only grew when mad mullah and Ringo Starr look-alike Omar Bakri was solicited to say that the former squire to Lady Heather Mills would be cut by a million swords and the hole rogered by a billion jihadis should the ex-Beatle play Israel.

Now we learn via the pages of the Ealing Times that Sir Paul’s head has come off and abandoned on a train.

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Posted: 19th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Ringo Starr Warns Omar Bakri To Stop Or Else

RINGO Starr vows not to sign any more autographs. Says he:

“Please do not send fan mail to any address you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that is the date on the envelope, it’s gonna be tossed.”

 Tossed?

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Posted: 13th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Omar Bakri Swaps Wife For Stunna

HURRAH for Omar Bakri father of breasts pneumatic and dancer of lap.

Today Omar Bakri – The War On Terror’s Peter Stringfellow” – takes a bride a year younger than his poletastic daughter Yasmin.

Out goes Hanah, 48, and in comes a “beauty” called Ruba, 26.

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Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Vex Factor: Hunt For Abu Hamza’s Islmofascist Protégé

GOOD news in the War on Terror: hook-handed, one-eyed, purple preacher eater Abu Hamza might be able to stay in Blighty for another five years.

As Anorak readers know, every since Hamza was jailed and Omar Bakri went to live in Lebanon, the tables have been running Celebrity Vex Factor, the hunt for the new gurning, raving face of British Islmofascism.

But the Muslim community is just not up to it. All we get is understanding, no bombs, no vitriol and no lunacy.

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Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Chanelle Hayes Exposes Omar Bakri’s Plot For Jihad In The Pole Dancing Club

DAYS on from news that mad mullah Omar Bakri paid for his daughter’s boob job and the plan to bring jihad to the country’s gentlemen’s clubs is curtailed.

The Star brings the front-page news that Chanelle Hayes will NOT be having her chest enlarged.

The Big Brother strumpet has made her decision in response to a Star reader’s poll. Tough on the War On Terror, and as patriotic as the next scaffolder, Star readers are turning their backs on artificial breasts, staring Islamofascism in the chest and saying “No”.

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Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2)


Killer Breasts: Teen Tries To Kill Mother To Pay For Boob Job

HOW many nutters who dropped a shard of copper into Omar Bakri’s big pot believed the “UK’s Twin Towers” would be a building and not a pair of false breasts?

And who would have supposed that such a gigantic tit as Omar Bakri would sire a daughter who was a flat chested as the Taliban Boys’ Choir’s Ironing Board Society?

Mindful of this, our attention is caught by happenings in Colorado, where a teenager has hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend.

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Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


Omar Bakri Funded Daughter’s Pole Dancing Career

IS this how victory in the war on terror will be marked, with the arrival of Omar Bakri’s daughter on page 3?

To rival pictures of Churchill flashing a Victory salute, US soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima and Saddam Hussein in his underpants, is Yummy Yasmin Fostok to flash her Twin Towers?

The West will surely have won when Yasmin gets ‘em our for the lads.

The Mail features the totems of our success on the battle field, and in the hearts and minds, with a shot of Yasmin cradling her chest and the headline: “Revealed: Radical cleric Bakri’s pole-dancer daughter.”

Well, revealed yesterday in the Sun, but here she is again. Says the paper:

Hundreds of youngsters go wild over the daughter of the preacher of hate who rants against Western ‘depravity’.

And so too will thousands of middle-aged men and other Mail readers who likeways rail, and stare, we’d wager.

And what of those boobs? Truthers tuning in might wonder at their authenticity. And, indeed, Yasmin’s weapons of mass detraction are fakes, paid for by her dear old dad.

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Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (5)


Omar Gosh: Bakri’s Daughter Is Pole Dancing Stunna

OMAR Bakri’s legacy to the nation is not only a green Ford Galaxy and a wiry hair in the soap dish; he leaves us in the company of “busty” Yasmin Fostok, 27, his daughter who functions as a pole dancer.

“I don’t get on with my dad,” says Yasmin, who appears on the Sun’s front page dressed in a T-shirt, jeans and fur-collared jacket.

The Sun does get on with Barki. It picks up the phone and dials “1” to get Bakri’s view. Somewhere in a converted caravan in Lebanon, a red phone is ringing.

Ring! Ring!

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Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Young Terrorists Bring Down England’s Twin Towers

OMAR Bakri remains the face of UK-based Islamic extremism. Sure, Bakri is now living in Lebanon, but with no replacement forthcoming, he is the country’s No.1 nutter.

The mad mullah is today being used to illustrate the Star’s story that the Al Mahajiroun group, founded by Bakri and banned in the UK, “plans its own Twin Towers-style terror attack”.

Anorak’s man inside the group tells us that Al Mahajiroun is ready to claim responsibility for the Twin Towers attack on Wembley Stadium.

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Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


Celebrating 9-11 With The UK’s Islamists In Residence

REMEMBERING 9/11 with Britain’s Al-Ghuraba movement.

Over a Ramadan fast breaking dinner, members gathered in London for a conference held under the banner, “The September Attacks: Have You Learned the Lesson?“.

Mad mullah John Lennon fan Omar Bakri was there, albeit live-ish from Beirut via a satellite video link up. Good to see Bakri back. Since his departure, the country has been bereft of a gurning, wire-bearded nutter, a face of Islamic fascism we can all relate to.

Can any among the assembled great and good rise to the challenge and be the new face?

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Posted: 17th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


Omar Bakri Beats The Drum For Paul McCartney In Israel

“SIR PAUL TERROR TARGET,” screams the – Sunday Express, a shocker illustrated by shot of Sir Paul McCartney caught in the crosshairs.

Thankfully, Sir Paul is reputed for his famous head wobble and there is every chance would-be assassin will need at least a dozen shots to even clip an ear on former Beatle’s tussled head.

Which gives us time to discover the identity of the killer. No, not Heather Mills. No, not Yoko Ono. It’s… Omar Bakri. Yeah, the mad mullah, the Tottenham Taliban, the owner of a green Ford Galaxy and some NHS prescription glasses.

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Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (21)