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Paul Sorene | Anorak - Part 26

Paul Sorene - Author Archive

Madeleine McCann in hijab horror

Did you “remember Madeleine McCann” this summer, heeding the advice of Mirror columnist Fiona Phillips to not “let your holiday be the one we all read about”? You all must of … (read more)

Posted: 28th, August 2018 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, National Enquirer, News | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United’s vanishing £60m agreement for Spurs star

In the shadowlands where transfer news and transfer gossip merge into clickbait balls was the summer’s news that Manchester United were dead keen on Tottenham’s Toby Alderweireld. Today the BBC tells … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment


Green Party attacked over prospective leader’s rapist father

The Green Party has issued a statement on the sentencing of David Challenor, 50, father to the Green Party equalities spokesperson Aimee Challenor. He has been convicted of torturing and raping a … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2018 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment


Liverpool to play in Levi’s jeans?

When Liverpool players aren’t shaving their chests and rubbing Nivea into the stubble, expect to see them sliding on pairs of Levi’s jeans. Levi’s are Liverpool’s “official denim partner”. It’s … (read more)

Posted: 26th, August 2018 | In: Fashion, Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment


NBC announces death of Senator John McCain with mating human dolphins

NBC solemnly announces death of Sen. John McCain.
Wait for it. pic.twitter.com/xAqZ3HtvHa

— Rob Beschizza (@Beschizza) August 26, 2018

 

RIP John McCain (August 29, 1936 – August 25, 2018). Victor in six elections … (read more)

Posted: 26th, August 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Paul Pogba agrees to leave Manchester United and memories of Ashley Cole

Paul Pogba is going to leave Manchester United to play for Barcelona. Pogba won’t let a contract with three years left to run at Old Trafford spoil things. You see, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Forget Muslims – we want Boris Johnson to attack Jews

When Boris Johnson criticised Denmark’s absurd decision to ban the wearing of the burka in a to-deadline article for the Telegraph, he went on to liken women wearing the niqab … (read more)

Posted: 7th, August 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Transfer balls: Paul Pogba Manchester’s United clues

Paul Pogba was terrific in the World Cup final post-match celebrations. He danced, sang and hugged with abandon. But when he stopped being loud he became “cryptic”, speaking through his … (read more)

Posted: 5th, August 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Jeremy Corbyn copies and pastes his commitment not to exterminate British Jews

“I will root antisemites out of Labour – they do not speak for me,” says Jeremy Corbyn, whose “friendship” with those who would see all Jews dead is finally riding … (read more)

Posted: 4th, August 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Transfer balls: Chelsea lead race for Real Madrid bound Lewandowski

After a disappointing World Cup, Poland striker Robert Lewandowski should console himself with his imminent relocation from Bayern Munich to Real Madrid. “Robert Lewandowski’s manager, Pini Zahavi, has come to … (read more)

Posted: 30th, July 2018 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Steven N’Zonzi ‘agrees’ Arsenal deal but joins Roma for less

Transfer Balls – a look at shoddy football reporting. Is Steven N’Zonzi heading to Arsenal? The BBC tells its readers today that the former Blackburn Rovers and Stoke player now at Sevilla … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Martial leaves Manchester United (and stays)

Is Anthony Martial leaving Manchester United? The media don’t know. Here are some scoops from the past few days: “Jose Mourinho still believes he can be a star,” says the … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Billy Joel: Trump and the rise of magical Nazis

Finally someone has had the guts to stand up and say it: “Nazis aren’t good people.” Well done, Billy Joel:

 

Billy Joel: I wore Star of David onstage to tell Trump … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


The high price of puking in an Uber

 

That stench inside the Uber mini-cab might be fart spray. And the vomit some passengers claim they are being charged lots of money to clean up might be a scam. The … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2018 | In: Money, News | Comment


Liverpool goalkeeper Karius is the eternal victim

You can’t even laugh at a footballer’s failure these days. No sooner had Liverpool’s 25-year-old German goalkeeper Loris Karius made a delicious hash of his side’s Champions League final match … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


This is how you sell a house – just ask the T-Rex

This is definitely the way to sell a house. Just ask the T-Rex, if you don’t believe me…

The blurb on the home in Granbury, TX:

Charming 2 bed 1 bath lake … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2018 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Transfer Balls: ‘hijacked’ by Arsenal Malcolm ‘agrees’ to join Spurs after Manchester United ‘deal’

Roma have moved to sign Malcolm from Bordeaux. The Brazilian winger will cost the Italians around £36 million. And baring a late and successful bid from Barcelona, the deal will … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment


British police hunt fried egg bandit

To the Isles of Scilly, where police are pointing at a fried egg found close to a crime scene. A shed owned by a local football club had been forced open. … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


The secret of longevity: fat, sugar and booze

 

Eileen Maher is “30 years older than the NHS” says the Indy. We like a new measurement – length measured in football pitches and double-decker buses, height in St Paul’s … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Bayern Munich president says Ozil is ‘shit’ at Arsenal

Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness has been swift to appraise Mesut Ozil’s contribution to German international football.  Ozil, 29, has retired from the German side, citing the fierce reaction to that photo … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


‘Racists’ force Arsenal star Ozil to quit Germany team

In news to hearten online trolls and bigots, Arsenal footballer Mesut Ozil intends to stop playing for Germany. Ozil, part of the German side that won the 2014 World Cup winner, … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Chicken ‘gangs’ terrorise Jersey

Gangs of chickens are terrorising Jersey. The Jersey Evening Post says feral chickens are “marauding” over the island leaving locals “too scared to leave” their homes after dark. Eat them … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


‘Traditional’ new Spurs kit ‘is the Barcelona training kit’

Spurs are looking a lot like Barcelona. No, not in their style of play – and Barcelona actually win things. The two clubs’ kits ate remarkably similar. Nike’s marketing guff … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, July 2018 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment


Life imitates Scarfolk: Civil Service tells parents to shoot rabid children

“Wow! This has made my week,” says Richard Littler. “This is from the government’s *own* publication about the history of government communications. They mistakenly included a Scarfolk poster which encourages … (read more)

Posted: 21st, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment


China and the EU check your toilet for signs of illegal drug use

To China, where a wonk is hiding in your toilet bowl checking your poo and wee for signs of banned substances. Well, soon. for now the burgers have gotten only … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: News, Technology | Comment