Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 6

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

World Cup Watch: Daily Mail singles out Sterling for criticism

Raheem sterling england colombia

Raheem Sterling is rubbish in the Daily Mail

 

Did you know Manchester City and England striker Raheem Sterling has not scored for England in 1000 days? It’s a fact Matt ‘Statto’ Lawton wants to share with his Daily Mail readers. Sterling could have scored last night as England defeated Colombia on penalties to progress to the World Cup quarter-final but he was “hooked” off after 88 minutes. Sterling was replaced by Jamie Vardy, who in the Mail’s all-important “Jamie Redknapp’s Big Match Ratings” scores 6.5 – the same as Sterling gets. Sterling was not the worst England player on the pitch according to Redknob. He scored higher than Kyle Walker (6), Deli Alli (6) and Ashley Young (6). But why does Sterling feel the hatchet between his shoulder blades and the rest do not?

And what of Eric Dier’s scoring a 7? He had a “pass completion rate of less than 25 per cent in his first 24 minutes on the pitch” (source: Martin Samuel, Daily Mail) and was “ordinary” against Belgium. He did score in the penalty shoot-out, a shot that was a “bit scuffed and [David] Ospina got a hand to it”. But there he is on the Mail’s back page “The Coolest Man in Moscow”.

 

Raheem sterling england colombia

Sterling was “dangerous” in the Daily Mirror

 

He was cool? No. In the Mirror, Dier says he was “nervous”. Andy Dunn says “Sterling at least remains one who can dash past a defender, take a risk, create splash of chaos”, factors described as “rarities” in a game big on “chaos”. The Mirror gives Sterling a 7 – the same as Pickford, Trippier, Henderson and Kane. Only John Stones with 8 scores higher. Sterling was “dangerous”.

 

Raheem sterling england colombia

The Sun

Raheem sterling england colombia

The Sun says Sterling was “lively”

 

Over in the Sun, Sterling gets a 6. That’s a higher mark than Lingard and Henderson, and the same as Pickford, Walker, Young and Dele. The Sun says Sterling was “slippery and lively” and “darting”.

 

Raheem sterling england colombia

Sterling is “lively” in the Daily Express

 

In the Express, “lively” Sterling who “caused  Colombia all kinds of problems” scores a 7 – that’s more than Pickford, Stones, Maguire, Henderson, Dele and Young. Only Harry Kane (8) scores higher.

So why is Sterling derided in the Mail? Has the Mail got a problem with Sterling?

It’s been while since Sterling scored in an England shirt, his last goal coming on 9th October 2015. But only Sterling gets compared to a “mascot” and a “jockey” in the Mail. No other player is so diminished.

Posted: 4th, July 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Naked Becky Vardy fat-shaming no-comment

becky vardy naked

 

Becky Vardy has issued a no comments. In “Vardy hits back”, Jamie Vardy’s wife is wrapped in the England flag. As patriotic as Britannia – albeit more demurely dressed (Britannia bares a naked breast on the silver and gold coins) – over pages 6 and 7 Vardy has a no comment for the Wags who troll her.

“Have they got nothing better to do? It’s probably a massive fat Russian that doesn’t have any mirrors in the house. They just do it to get a reaction. They won’t get one from me.”

becky vardy naked

 

You can read Becky’s non-reaction on page 1, 6 and 7.

Posted: 2nd, July 2018 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Gorleston beach death: bouncy castle trampoline pops in average heat

bouncy castle gorleston

 

There’s “horror in the heat”. The Star leads with news that a young girl died when a bouncy castle “exploded”. The four-year-old was “catapulted” by the force of the exploding blue inflatable. “Dozens” watched as paramedics tried in vain to save the life of the girl in the ‘Bounce About’ play area on Gorleston beach, near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk. Or as the Mirror leads: “Tot killed by exploding trampoline.”

What was it: an inflatable or a trampoline?

The Mirror says the child was tossed 30 feet into the air when the “trampoline exploded in the searing heat”. Was the heat a factor in the horror? A witness says it was the “most horrific” thing they had ever seen. It sounds horrendous. Another says: “I’m sat next to the bouncy castle when it just popped.” Another says the girl was thrown “about 20 ft into the air”.

 

great yarmouth bouncy trampoline

 

The witnesses says the castle “popped” and the girl was thrown 20ft into the air. The tabloids says the trampoline exploded and the heigh was 30ft. A child dies on a day out and for some news sources that’s not enough.

As for the heat being a factor in the horror, we only hear the owner of the inflatable castle / trampoline say “he believed the intense heat caused  the explosion”.  Maybe. But the heat sounds more like the trigger than the cause. The owner, identified as Curt Johnson, is then quoted: “It is very upsetting. An inflatable trampoline exploded  because of the heat and that is all I know… It is quite shocking.”

As for the “searing heat”, well, the Mail says temperatures reached 73F. Not all that hot for a summer’s day, then.

An investigation is underway…

Posted: 2nd, July 2018 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment


Liverpool stick with Karius as concussion vanishes

Hard cheese on any Liverpool fans hoping for an upgrade on goalkeeper Loris Karius, whose errors cost the reds so dear in the Champions’ League final. The Sun says Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp has given up on signing Roma’s Alisson Becker and wants Karius to remain as his number one. Karius “made two horrendous mistakes” as Liverpool lost to Real Madrid in the Champions League final, says the Sun.  It was “his calamitous Champions League final where he gifted Real Madrid two goals”. At no point does the Sun mention the claim that Karius was suffering from concussion.

Is that an oversight? The Mirror adds: “Karius’s errors in the Champions League final had appeared to highlight the Reds’ need for a new man between the sticks.” Again no word on any concussion. Why is it that something so serious as concussion is now dismissed?

 

karius concussion the sun liverpool

 

The Sun once thought it serious enough to explain Karius’ injury in full and advise its readers to go to hospital if the’ve suffered a bang to the head. “The effects usually only lasts up to a few days or weeks,” said the paper, “although in severe cases sufferers will need emergency treatment and can be left with longer-lasting symptoms.

It’s all balls, anyhow. Because Sky Sports notes: “Liverpool’s may see long-term target Alisson pinched from under their noses, with Chelsea planning a £65m offer for the Roma goalkeeper.” Can you pinch something the victim never owned and doesn’t want, according to the Sun and Mirror?

Posted: 1st, July 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer Balls: Bale to Manchester United is more if than when

The Week magazine’s news on Manchester United transfers begins: “If Gareth Bale leaves Real Madrid…” And if he doesn’t? Well, then we will repeat the line next year, and the next and keep on repeating it until Gareth Bale is too old even for a desperate United to recruit. (See Anorak passim).

The Express says United manager Jose Mourinho “is intent” on recruiting the 28-year-old. Intent enough to lend United a few million of his own cash to bolster what would be a huge transfer fee? Or is intent measured in how many times Mourinho can moan about not being able to pick a side made up of  the world’s costliest first XI? The Times says Mourinho has told the club’s executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward that Operation Get Bale is of paramount importance to his plans.

The nadir of this hopeless balls is found in the Star, wherein we learn that Bale’s agent “breaks his silence” over Bale to United – because if there is one thing agents are known for it is their decorum. Jonathan Barnett, chairman of the player agency Stellar Group,  says: “I think we need to talk to Real Madrid to see what’s going on, he wants to play more, that’s top priority for him. He’s one of the top three or four players in the world. So he has to play, it’s not about money.”

Mentions of Manchester United: nil.

Oh, and here’s what Barnett had to say in April: “Gareth is a Real Madrid player and loves Real Madrid and Real Madrid love Gareth. All this talk about leaving is written by reporters who have no idea what is going on and who need to write something and don’t care if it is true or not.”

More Bale to United to follow…

Posted: 28th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Will Ant McPartlin get half of Lisa’s fortune?

Want to know the “truth” about “the hours” before Ant McPartlin went drink driving? The Mirror thinks its readers do, leading with the story of the build up to Ant’s crime. On page 9 we get the facts: Ant had a row with his wife Lisa Armstrong. They argued over – get this – who had first dibs on their dog. One of Ant’s “pals”, of which he seems to have many and all of them unnamed and with a hotline to the tabloids, says, “Lisa is no angel in this. She would been giving it back, and then some.”

The “pal” then calls Lisa “stubborn”, stating that the rows are all “rooted in the fact Lisa refused to believe the marriage was tover”. News, indeed, to anyone who thinks the rows were “rooted” in Ant rooting the PA, taking drugs and drunk driving.

Anyhow, “hours” after the row over the dog, Ant crashed his Mini into two cars while well over the drink-driving limit.

 

ant mcpartlin divorce

It’s her money as well

 

The story has one spot of new news: divorce lawyers are trying to decide how to “divide Ant and Lisa’s fortune“. Finally! All that guff about him giving her half of his fortune has stuck in the craw. The Mirror gets it.

 

ant mcpartlin divorce

Good old Ant sharing his money with his wife

 

Dec is away.

 

Posted: 21st, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Gosport Scandal: killing the old is easy but facts are hard

Dr Jane Barton’s is the face we are getting to know. The Mail leads with the demand “PUT HER IN THE DOCK”. On what charge? The Express demands “justice for hundreds killed by ‘Dr Death'”.

 

Dr Jane Barton

 

Dr Jane Barton

 

Dr Barton, dubbed ‘Dr Opiate’,  is “blamed” for failings that costs up to 650 lives  at Gosport Memorial Hospital. The dead were aged 62 to 99. the saying is true: if you want to be invisible, go grey.

A report “accused” Dr Barton of “giving patients powerful drugs they did not need”. The number of dead is staggering: 456 people died after being prescribed opioids “without medial justification”; the records of 200 more have gone missing. The Mail guesses that “they probably suffered a similar fate”.

Who needs fact when you’re talking about life, death and justice?

 

Dr Jane Barton

 

Dr Barton worked at the hospital between 1988 and 2000. The deaths making news occurred between 1987 and 2001. The report by the former Bishop of Liverpool James Jones does not mention her alone. His report is, says the paper, “scathing” about senior consultants, nurses, pharmacists and managers at the Hampshire hospital. None of them are pictured in any newspaper.

The dead have been the subject of reports, three police investigations, two reviews by medical bodies and 11 inquests. Nurses raised concerns decades ago. And not a single criminal charge has been levelled at anyone. The word conspiracy is flung around. Its reach extends to scores of people. But is it valid?

On pages 6 to 11, Mail readers hear more of the “deadliest coverup”. One fact seems notable above others: in 2010 the GMC found Dr Barton guilty of misconduct and that she prescribed “potentially hazardous” amounts of drugs. She retained her licence to practice medicine. The Mail says she was made the subject of sanctions, one being that she could not prescribe opiates for three years. In March 2010 Dr Barton retired on a “fat” pension.

 

Dr Jane Barton

“Murder.” Who mentioned murder?

 

We’re not being invited to sympathise with Dr Barton. But what we crave are facts. But the papers can’t get the most basic of those right. The Mail says Dr Barton is 69. The Sun says she’s 70. The Mail says she is in Menorca. The Express says she’s in Majorca.

 

Dr Jane Barton

The Express: Barton is 69 in Menoca

 

Dr Jane Barton

The Sun: Barton is 70

 

Dr Jane Barton

The Mail: Barton is 69 in Majorca

 

It’s worth noting that Dr Barton has not been charged with any criminal offence – ever. But you know who has…  Yep. Dr Harold Shipman.

 

Dr Jane Barton

 

Barton Shipman

 

Dr Jane Barton

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 21st, June 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment


Ant McPartlin, monstered Lisa and the blonde ‘rock’ who saved telly

Ant MacPartlin’s drugs habit and drink-driving have kept the papers busy. And now we read about his lover, one Anne-Marie Corbett, a 42-year-old married mum-of two. She used to work as a personal assistant to Ant and his wife Lisa. All tawdry and predictable stuff: married TV star takes drugs, drinks too much and shags blonde. But what’s interesting is how the tabloids are taking sides. You can tell which side they are on – Ant: the one who might give you interviews, sell newspapers and secure TV exclusives; or Lisa: the woman who won’t.

The Sun is Team Ant. Describing Anne-Marie as Ant’s “rock”, the Sun produces these photos of the trio:

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

The Rock and the Hard Face. Ann-Marie is “upset” says the caption. Poor Anne-Marie.

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

The photo the Sun chose to show of Lisa, who is not a drink-driver, has not taken drugs and has not been comforted by another

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

The happy couple – look how happy Ant is. And we want him to be happy. He’s on the telly.

 

The Sun also adds that “blazing rows over his £62 million fortune have made it [divorce] increasingly acrimonious”. His fortune? Not their fortune? Childhood sweethearts Ant and Lisa have been married since 2006. This is about Ant and us continuing to like him. Good old Ant:

 

ant mcpartlin divorce

Good old Ant sharing his money with his wife. Waddaguy!

 

The Mirror leads with news that Lisa “suspected” Ant was with Ann-Marie “months ago”. Poor Lisa. Let’s take a look at her:

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

Page 5 family – Lisa looks pretty good

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

Lisa Armstong in “torment”

 

ant mcpartlin anne-Marie Corbett

The hard-faced blonde

 

The Mirror says Lisa and Anne-Marie were “pals”. Anne-Marie split from husband Scott in October last year. But that has nothing to do with Ant, say “insiders”. Perish the thought. Ant and Lisa broke up “10 months ago” –  “long before he started dating his new love”. Ten moths ago was September 2017.

Over in the Mail and Lisa is looking happy. Ant is looking happy. Anne-Marie is wearing a “blue summer dress… with a plunging neckline, wedge heels, red lipstick and a Lulu Guinness tote bag”. She looks “glamorous”. The Express says Anne-Marie wore her “blonde hair loose”.

The final words is with an “insider, who tells the Express that Ant “could decide to to return to I’m A Celeb. That’s how far  things have changed thanks to Anne-Marie”.

Rejoice! Ant is happy. The show will go on.

 

Posted: 20th, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Tabloids | Comment


Clickbait balls: Hazard keeps agreeing to leave Chelsea for Real Madrid

On a break from advertising biscuits, Chelsea and Belgium footballer Eden Hazard is doing his best to alienate the club’s fans. Well, he is if the BBC and Sun’s back-page headline is to be believed. “Belgium forward Eden Hazard, 27, has warned his club side Chelsea that ‘Real Madrid could interest me’,” says the BBC. The Sun leads: “EDEN WARNING – Eden Hazard has warned the club he will quit unless they sort things out in the summer.” Warning your employer to work hard to please you is an iffy move. But is that what Hazard really said in an interview with L’Equipe before he flew to Moscow for the World Cup?

What can we believe? Reporting on Hazard is so much more clickbait than fact.

 

hazard chelsea the sun real madrid

 

On January 11, the Sun reported: “EDEN HAZARD has NOT agreed to join Real Madrid in the summer, despite reports.”

Reports like… this one in the Sun from July 2o17. The word ‘agrees’ is in inverted commas but fro SEO purposes hazard to Real Madrid is a statement of fact.

 

hazard chelsea the sun real madrid

 

Not that the Sun is alone in milking the ‘Hazard has gone nowhere for years’ story. In January the Independent said Hazard was staying at Chelsea. Fact.

 

hazard chelsea the sun real madrid

 

The Express told its readers: “…the Belgium international has now quashed rumours that he will leave the Blues by confirming he intends to sign a new deal…However, he has claimed he will not do so until his fellow countryman Thibaut Courtois has also extended his stay at Stamford Bridge.”

Really? No. He said nothing of the sort.

So much for the trusty Express, then, which performed the same trick as the Sun in gearing news for the robots. Like the Sun, the Express said Hazard ‘agrees’ to join Real Madrid. But because Google’s bots don’t read those conniving inverted commas, Hazard to Real is a statement of fact:

 

express hazard transfer

 

So will Hazard remain at Chelsea or leave for Real Madrid? This is what he said when pressed on his future as quoted in the Sun:

“I will stay at Chelsea if the team is better than it was last season. I don’t want to stay if we are less good,” says Hazard, who might reflect on is role in the team and how you can know next season is better before its been played? “It would be too easy for me to say that I want to leave because I have done it all. I have won everything bar the Champions League in London. I am where I am in my career thanks to Chelsea. Above all I would love to know what will happen at the club next season. I will wait and see whether the manager stays or goes. As everybody knows, Real Madrid could interest me. But if tomorrow they don’t want me, I won’t talk about them any more. If they want to buy me they know what they have to do.”

And this is what he said in May, as quoted by the Guardian:

The 27-year-old knows his next contract could well be the last in his prime. “That’s why I’m taking my time,” he said. “It’s something big, so I need to think about a lot of things. But one thing is for sure: I’m happy here.”

Asked to elaborate on the factors that would influence his decision, he added: “I’m waiting for new players next season. I want good players, because I want to win the Premier League next season.

“Like I’ve said many times before, I think the FA Cup final is not my last game for Chelsea. It’s the last game of the season, that’s it. After the World Cup then we will be ready for the next season. But, for me in my mind, I’m here. I have one week to play now. Saturday is a massive game, I just want to win, for me and them also.”

He’s not warning Chelsea over anything, is he? Hazard’s Chelsea contract runs til 2020. He’s not going anywhere unless Real Madrid or any other club pay a huge transfer fee.

NOTE: Maybe he just wants more money? Chelsea are to offer him £300,000 a week says the Sun:

 

hazard chelsea

 

Although according to the Sun they made the offer last year:

 

hazard chelsea wages

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 19th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Key Posts, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


England in gun outrage; Prince George in gun outrage; Raheem Sterling in doodle outrage

Raheem Sterling’s gun tattoo caused the Sun to shunt all other news from its front page and channel the fury. It was that bad. A few days on after the the Sun had given lots of space for people to slam the Manchester City and England forward, we saw photos of Prince George and his bang-bang stick. Like Sterling, the gun young Windsor’s gun also featured at a sporting event, notable a polo rubber.

 

raheem sterling tattoo gun

 

raheem sterling m16 tattoo

Raheem and his part in the Vietnam War

 

raheem george gun

Draw!

 

Said the Sun:

Playful Prince George takes aim with a toy gun as he and sister Charlotte – gripped by watchful mum Kate – enjoy a day in the sun watching dad William play polo today.

The Duke of Cambridge was taking part in the Maserati Royal Charity Polo Trophy at Beaufort Polo Club in Gloucestershire, where he was cheered on by the Duchess of Cambridge and the family.

Sterling (picture of a gun; black; working-class; self-made) got a very different press from George (toy gun; white; uber alles; never worked a day in his life). Whereas Sterling was linked to murder and the Vietnam war – no kidding! – George is just fun, fun and more fun. Photos of the ole model promoting gun crime and mayhem captioned:

The Duchess of Cambridge beams as son George plays with his plastic pistol

Prince George shows off his sharpshooting skills as he takes aim with a toy gun

And there is more gun larks. The England football team, of which Sterling is one, pretended their fingers were guns when they posed for photos at their World Cup training camp. The Mail has a photo of Eric Dier and Del Alli is “Charlie’s Angels pose.

 

england world cup guns

england world cup guns

england world cup guns

 

Is that red on their shirt blood? And will Putin take this as a declaration of war? Over to the Sun to discuss…

 

Posted: 15th, June 2018 | In: Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Tea towels you keep forever linked to food poisoning

Your tea towel is killing you. Maybe. The Daily Mail says “repeatedly using an old one could help to spread food poisoning“.

 

 

It’s said much the same thing many times.

“A 2015 study by Kansas State University found that, surprisingly, tea towels were the most contaminated surface during food preparation, fast becoming covered in bugs that can cause food poisoning” – 30 Jan 2018

The Mail says “make sure you sue a fresh tea towel“.

 

daily mail scare tea

 

Professor Hugh Pennington, Emeritus professor of bacteriology at the University of Aberdeen tells readers on 11 August 2015: “In my house, all the dishes and cutlery are dried with disposable paper towels, as tea towels pick up bugs after more than one use.”

daily mail

 

But on 7 December 2010, the Mail told us: “PS WHY YOU CAN KEEP TEA TOWELS FOREVER…

Such are the facts…

 

Posted: 11th, June 2018 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment


Breaking: Posh and Becks STILL married

More ‘no news’ news on the Sun’s cover: David Beckham and Victoria are still married. Yesterday they held hands at a London fashion event. It was a “show of unity”. North and South Korea have nothing on this.

Inside we see Beck and Posh sat either side of Edward Enniful. He’s not a marriage guidance therapist. He’s the editor of Vogue magazine, the monthly advertorial album for big-spending brands.

The Sun is very much on the side of the lucrative couple, hoping their front-page presence sells papers in the same manner as Jade Goody once did. But while Goody was dismembered and stuffed for our entertainment, Posh and Becks are dipped in aspic, the only signs of change being a new doodle on his head. But – what’s this? – the Sun says it’s got a photo of Posh “SMILING”. She “breaks into a rare grin”. Want to see it? Here you go:

 

victoria beckham grinning

 

So happily married, so never-changing are Posh ‘n’ Becks, as constant in the world of brand mascots as Tony the Tiger and the Laughing Cow, the only newsworthy option is o splinter into two separate companies.

 

Posted: 11th, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Nabil Fakir wants Liverpool; dreams of Barcelona

Joyous transfer balls balls on the BBC.  The national broadcaster picks up the tale of Nabil Fakir’s move from Lyon to Liverpool. Get a load of this: “Lyon will allow forward Nabil Fekir, 24, to join Liverpool this summer – but only at the right price.” No s***, Sherlock.  Of course, if you read some sources, the deal is done. This from Sky on 7 May 2018: “Lyon have agreed to sell Nabil Fekir to Liverpool when the transfer window opens in a deal reported to worth be in the region of €70m. And there was the time Fakir was joining Arsenal. On 13 Nov 2017, the Daily Express told its readers: “ARSENAL are close to completing the £60million capture of Lyon playmaker Nabil Fekir.”

Over in today’s Daily Mirror, we are told: “Fekir has been identified as the marquee signing of the transfer window, and a natural replacement for Philippe Coutinho.” A marquee is a large tent.

And then the facts: “…it is understood a breakthrough of sorts has been made, with the player indicating he will only go to Liverpool – and the president conceding he will do a deal with the Reds if he feels the price is right.”

Like us, we got as far as “understood”, the word that means sod all in the world of clickbait football reporting. “Understands” is shorthand for “maybe or “maybe not”.

But he wants to play for Liverpool. that much is understood and indicated. Or as he said: “My favourite club is Barcelona. But I need to work a lot, I am aware of that.” If he plays well enough at Liverpool, he may yet achieve his dream of playing in Barcelona.

All hail the new Coutinho, then.

 

Posted: 7th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Yacine Adli joins Arsenal at 18; Higuain still missing

Have Arsenal signed Yacine Adli for just £223,000? The Metro and Sun says they have.

 

Yacine Adli arsenal

 

The media seem confused. The Sun says:

RMC Sport claim he has penned a three-year deal, with the option of two more, with the Gunners to become their second signing of the summer.

Neither Arsenal nor PSG have confirmed the move, but the report states it will be announced when the teen turns 18 next month.

Over on RMC Sport, we learn (via Google Translate):

Yacine Adli in Arsenal, it’s done!
It’s official, the PSG has lost Yacine Adli. While three weeks ago, the young 17-year-old midfielder was close to signing his first pro contract with the champion of France, it is for Arsenal that he signed a three-year contract with two other optional. Adli, who was in touch with the Londoners even before the arrival of Unai Emery, was seduced by the Gunners project.

But there’s been no announcement? Why can’t Arsenal announce the transfer until Adli turn 18? Seems odd. What are the rules on minors?

FIFA bans the international transfers of players under the age of 18 unless their parents have emigrated for reasons not connected to football or both the player and club are based within 50 kilometers of a national border.

The only other exception is for transfers within either the EU or European Economic Area (EEA), where the minimum age is 16.

In those cases, clubs must still ensure that the player continues his education and studies for an alternative career, as well as making sure he has a high living standard.

Caution should be exercised when dealing with transfer reports. RMC also has few words today about Gonzalo Higuain, the Juventus striker:


Gonzalo Higuain arsenal

 

Yep. That’s the same Higuian who, according to the Sun, plays for Arsenal:

 

higuain arsenal sign

 

 

Such are the facts. No deal is done until the player is photographed kissing the badge.

Posted: 6th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson reunited in Mirror and Mail cut and paste disaster

The Mirror is promoting an auction of photographs by “royal snapper” John Scott, who died in 1986. The paper omits to mention where the auction is talking place – you can buy them at Cornwall auctioneer David Lay. But it does lead with a group phots that features “Fergie met Andy…possibly for the first time”. The Mail says is “the moment a young Fergie fixed eyes on Andrew”. No it isn’t. Not unless Sarah Ferguson, for it is she, was boss-eyed.

The paper trills: “A smiling Sarah Ferguson is clearly impressed by Prince Andrew as she claps eyes on him for the first time  in the early 1970s.” Ferguson is described as being “very young” at the time. It was the summer of 1970. Fergie and Andrew was 10 – although the Mirror and Mail say they were “about 12”. The Mail also says they are both 10.

The Mail is clueless:

fergie andy

 

sarah ferguson andrew first meeting

 

sarah ferguson andrew first meeting

 

Having told readers this was not the first time Sarah met Andy, the Mail wonders, er, if it was:

 

sarah ferguson andrew first meeting a

Daily Mail: question asked; question answered

 

The tin lid on the utter balls is when you realise that she isn’t looking at Andrew – who isn’t looking at her –  but towards Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones.

The Mirror: the peril of copying a Press Release

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 6th, June 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment


Liverpool balls: Karius ‘dumped’ and remade in Chelsea

Yet another “exclusive” in the Daily Star, which brings news of Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius. He’s been “dumped after girlfriend gets death threats over Champions League howlers“. Before we get to Ianthe Rose Cochrane-Stack, for it is she, a bit of background.

 

karius girlfriend liverpool

 

Karius played a pivotal role in Liverpool’s 3-1 defeat to Real Madrid in the Champions League final. The current theory is that he was suffering from concussion. In the Times, Matthew Sayed, who earlier said Karius erred because he’d been focusing too hard and missed a big Frenchman standing a foot from his shoulder, now says Real’s Sergio Ramos “had driven his elbow into the jaw of Loris Karius”, something backed up by “video evidence”. It isn’t. All we see is two players colliding. We don’t know if that collision led to any concussion – indeed, we don’t know for certain if concussion caused Karius to keep goal with less composure than a man shouting on the night bus or Joe Hart. The medics at the US hospital who checked Karius did so five days after the match at Liverpool’s behest. Michel D’Hooge, chief executive of Headway, the brain injury association, says he can “imagine” concussion was at the root of Karius’s hapless performance. But he can’t be certain. No-one can.

 

karius girlfriend liverpool

Nope

 

Karius lover

Nope

 

And so to the dumping. The full story is:

Ianthe Rose Cochrane-Stack revealed trolls had threatened to stab her after his bungles cost his team two goals in last month’s 3-1 defeat by Real Madrid.

The Made In Chelsea beauty was photographed with Karius just weeks ago.

But she has now moved to distance herself from the shamed stopper by posting on social media that she has been single for a year.

Can a woman dump a man she’s never dated? The Star says she can. L0ok out for more exclusives: ‘I dumped George Cooney, says mum-of-seven Maude’; ‘Prince Harry’s girlfriend upset by wedding’; ‘I’ve been secretly dating David Beckham since he was 16  – Piers revels all.’

As for Karius’ love life, The Independent tells us:

The sight of his mother staring into middle distance, looking away from the game while it was still going on as she held his sobbing girlfriend prompted Klopp’s wife Ulla to move a few rows and try to offer some reassurance. At the end of the game, while Karius lay on the floor the three women – all of them connected by the desperation of it all – stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 6th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Samuel Umtiti and the Manchester United transfer delivered in code

News that France international centre-half Samuel Umtiti has agreed a new five-year contract with Barcelona should disappoint tabloid-reading Manchester United fans. Umtiti, who joined Lyon for €25m in 2016, will remain at the club until 2023.

umtiti balls man united

 

But on March 4 2008, the Daily Star told readers: “Lionel Messi furious at Barcelona as Samuel Umtiti agrees deal with Man Utd.” The source for the Star’s total balls was Spanish website Diario Gol. Of it, the Star says in a story published on March 4 and headlined “Man Utd News: Messi ‘chooses’ Umtiti replacement”: “Diario Gol often make sensational transfer claims.” Many of them are repeated verbatim in the Star.

 

The Star:- repeating utter tosh

 

One month after Umtiti had “agreed” to join Man United in the Star, the Metro announced: “Samuel Umtiti sends clear message to Manchester United during Barcelona’s victory over Roma.” This “message” was delivered not by email, rather by a gaol for Barcelona. The story has nothing to do what Manchester United. These are its lowlights:

Samuel Umtiti sent an emphatic message to Manchester United during Barcelona’s comprehensive 4-1 victory over Roma in the first leg of their Champions League quarter-final…

Umtiti, who has been heavily linked with a £53million move to United in recent weeks, appeared to double Barca’s lead in the 55th minute. However, replays showed it was another own goal from Roma..

Kostas Manolas got the final contact on the ball but this didn’t stop Umtiti wheeling away to claim the goal by grabbing and pointing at Barcelona’s crest on his chest. Sorry, United…

“Sorry United?” Sorry, Metro readers, more like.

 

umtiti balls man united

 

Over in the Sun, Umtiti was off:

Manchester United close in on Samuel Umtiti signing as Barcelona refuse to meet French international’s demands – March 26

SO LONG SAM – Barcelona already looking at replacement for Samuel Umtiti, with Manchester United closing in on French defender – March 29

umtiti balls man united

 

Meanwhile…in the real world:

 

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 4th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Raheem Sterling: Sky Sports joins The Sun in monstering the Manchester City striker (again)

Raheem Sterling’s tattoo continues to make news in the Sun (prop. R. Murdoch) and on Sky Sports (prop R. Murdoch). Manchester City striker Sterling has told everyone why he’s got a tattoo of a gun on his leg:

 

Raheem STerling apology guns

NEVER

 

Ot as Sky Sports put it: “…I would never touch a gun again.”

 

raheem sterling apology guns again sky

‘AGAIN’?

 

PS: Sky regrets the error.

 

To recap: it’s a drawing of a gun. Raheem Sterling is very much anti-guns. Here are pictures of England footballers with real guns:

 

 

Previous hatchet jobs on Sterling: here, here and here. No need for guns for a character assassination.

Posted: 30th, May 2018 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Alisson to Liverpool for £52m, to Manchester united for £88m and Karius to Italy

Loris Karius has been offered the chance to join Italian third-division side Rimini FC. The Italian club will provide a safe space for the Liverpool keeper. At Rimini the 24-year-old German will “rediscover calm and his self-belief”. Karius will “rediscover serenity, self-esteem and strength to follow his dream”. His departure will leave space for Alisson to arrive at Anfield. Maybe.

In other news, Roma will “demand” Liverpool pay 90m euros (£79m) for goalkeeper Alisson, says the BBC. And Roma will only listen to offers for the 25-year-old Brazilian after the World Cup. Well, so says the Guardian.

As ever, the media is guessing. In May, the Sun said Alisson would “snub” Liverpool and sign a new deal with Roma:

 

liverpool alisson

‘Snub’

 

On March 29, the Daily Star told us: “LIVERPOOL and Arsenal have been told to stump up £52m if they want to sign Roma keeper Alisson.”

And just this May the Sun told us how much Alisson would cost Man United and that Liverpool were no longer interested in the player: £88m.

 

aisson man united

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 30th, May 2018 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


We’ve found the journalism’s nadir at Sainsbury’s

Journalism is not dead – it’s just waiting for Sainsbury’s to “reveal” what times its stores open over the bank holiday:

 

 

The story from investigative reporter ‘Becky Pemberton’ informs readers:

A spokesperson confirmed to the Sun Online: “All of our stores will be open this Bank Holiday but subject to changed opening hours.” It is therefore essential to check up on the individual store times to make sure yours is open.

So essential is the news that amid all the guff about bonus Nectar points and Sainsbury’s being tops for barbecues, Becky advises readers: “Many supermarkets are not changing their hours for the May bank holiday, but it is best to check first. You can do this using the store finder on their website.”

Yeah, that’s right – the Sun has “revealed” the opening times by looking at the Sainsbury’s website. And now thanks to the paper and links, you too can do just that.

 

Posted: 29th, May 2018 | In: News, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment


Raheem Sterling’s gun tattoo: Manchester City striker is the tabloids’ favourite target

It’s the lead news story on Sky News and the Sun: Manchester City and England footballer Raheem Sterling has a tattoo of an M16 assault rifle on his right leg. Sterling says the tattoo is a tribute to his father, who was shot dead. Sterling was two when his dad was killed. His tattoo has a “deeper meaning”.

 

raheem sterling tattoo gun

 

The Sun says Sterling “shoots himself in the foot”. The front page features someone saying “that tattoo is sick”. On page 5, the tattoo is an “absolute disgrace”. It’s “totally unacceptable,” says Lucy Cope of ‘Mothers Against Guns’. Cope says the tattoo is “disgusting” She says: “We demand he has the tattoo lasered off or covered up  with a different tattoo. If he refuses he should be dropped from the England team.” Get the right tattoo or else be labelled a pariah. Another voice says the tattoo is “disrespectful to young people who lost their lives.”

The Sun gives no space for Sterling to reply and stops shot of mentioned God, for as it says on Leviticus 19:28: ”You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the Lord.”

So why Raheem Sterling’s tattoo front-page news in the Sun?

 

obscene-raheem-the-sun sterling

 

raheem sterling the sun raheem sterling the sun

And:

 

raheem sterling drugs

Story: Nothing to do with Raheem Sterling

 

The Sun guns for Sterling – commenting unfavourably on how he spends his money.

 

tattoo monkey gun

 

Is Sterling the only footballer with a gun tattoo? No. This is how the Sun reported on Liverpool’s Alberto Moreno and his tattoo (above):

Alberto Moreno’s new tattoo depicts a short-sighted monkey assassin.

At some point in our lives we’ve all considered getting a tattoo of a Beats-by-Dre-loving, short-sighted, pensive monkey assassin.

But most of us simply can’t find the time to get it done.

Alberto Moreno on the other hand, cleared his schedule and popped down the tattooists to get the *classic* design inked on his thigh. You can’t help but wonder what he’s listening to… The Monkees perhaps?

The Sun saw the funny side.

And what of Arsenal’s Alex Iwobi who celebrates his rare goals by strafing the crowd with an imaginary gun:

 

iwobi the sun guns

Here’s Alex:

 

 

Is it different for Raheem?

The Sun says the “FA Code of conduct  demands England players be role models even hen not on international duty”. Mad if it does. This is sport. Sterling and the rest need be only role models for their children. The code was introduced in 2012.

The Full Code:

Player Code of Conduct

A) Standards of conduct required at all times
B) Club England values while on international duty
C) Procedures in event of alleged breach of Code

——————————————————————————————-

Captaincy

The position of England captaincy is a privileged position which carries with it the additional expectations and responsibility (both on and off the field). The captain of each team is therefore under increased scrutiny and is expected to be a role model to the rest of the squad and is his or her compliance with the code. The captaincy may be removed from a player by the Club England Management Board in the event that his or her conduct does not meet the standards required for the role. The Head Coach retains the right to change the captaincy irrespective of any breach of the Code.

——————————————————————————————-

A. Standard of conduct required at all times:

Players representing England are ambassadors for their country and are role models for younger players. The highest standards of conduct and behaviour are therefore expected at all times, including when players are not on international duty.

Not role models for everyone of us.

It is an honour to play for England.

Avoid anything adverse that may have affect of the reputation of integrity of the England team.

Comment on Twitter/Facebook about opposition, management, individuals could result in disciplinary action by Board of inquiry and CE management board.

No use of drugs without doctor’s permission.

No violence, abuse or discrimination (all forms).

No disclosure of confidential information about any aspect of playing for England.

B. While on international duty; they must:

Respect opponents, officials and supporters;

When travelling to foreign countries, be respectful of their culture and traditions.

Always acknowledge the supporters at the end of the game and on the coach travelling to training and games.

Respect Uefa and Fifa officials at all times.

Respect drug-testing officers at post-match (they’re doing a job).

Respect hotel staff at all times.

Reputations and integrity, abide by FA, Uefa and Fifa rules, no drugs.

Reject and oppose violence, abuse and all forms of discrimination.

Not publish (on Twitter or Facebook) anything that may cause or embarrass a member of the FA, the England squad and management.

Professionalism:

Players should not react, however hard it is, to verbal provocation from the press or fans when in public places (photographers are allowed to follow players in public places, it is not against the law).

Follow directions of team management.

Follow individual team rules.

Wear official sportswear (except footwear).

No personal endorsements.

Not consume alcohol without the express permission of the manager.

Not use drugs or banned substances.

Not use room service.

Not bet on any football matches (this is against FA rules) (and immediately detail approaches with regard to inducements to give information for betting purposes).

Only use a sensible amount of time playing video or computer games.

Note that mobile phones in the meal-room, dressing-room and on the team bus is at the discretion of the Head Coach.

Not discuss team tactics or selection ahead of fixtures outside of the group.

Always be on time for team meetings.

Communication:

All media activity co-ordinated through press office.

All players should play a part in meeting media demands.

Go through mixed zones (guidance that no ear-phones etc worn).

No criticism on Twitter/Facebook.

No Twitter or Facebook comments on the day before the game or the day of the game unless authorised.

No media columns.

Be aware that texts, picture messages, and BBM messages, can become public.

Process:

Investigation carried out by CE.

All players must comply with investigation.

If breach found, then option of sanctions (oral/written warning, exclusion from selection for fixed or indefinite period).

Pending any outside investigation, (CPS etc) CE maintain right to suspend at their discretion.

If case not proven or dropped, players available for selection.

If non-custodial sentence, CE board decide on case-by-case basis.

Custodial – excluded until time to be determined by CE management board.

Serious allegations – captaincy may be removed at discretion of CEMB.

SANCTIONS

4.1: issuing an oral or written warning to the player.

4.2: determining that the player shall not be eligible for selection for a specific number of matches or specific period.

4.3: determining that the player shall not be eligible for an indefinite period.

Where an allegation of serious misconduct has been made, the Club England Management Board may suspend a player while the matter is investigated further and/or pending the outcome of any footballing regulations or criminal investigations.

Serious misconduct includes:

Theft, dishonesty, fraud, deliberate falsification of records.

Assault, battery, violence, deliberate damage to or misuse of FA property.

Breach of safety-security regulations.

Deliberate damage to FA property.

Being under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs.

Any form of discrimination.

Deliberate misuse of confidential information.

Serious breach of FA rules/regs.

No conduct that significant, materially or adversely impacts on reputation or integrity of FA.

ANY decision of CEMB is final – There is no right of appeal.

CEMB have power to publish in the press.

Players are to advise either their national team coach, team administrator or a CE official when they are guilty or have been accused of any criminal offence.

What’s Sterling done wrong?

Posted: 29th, May 2018 | In: Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Princess Diana’s ghost has Harry and Meghan’s lives all planned out

Right it is that we finally get to hear from Princess Diana. For some months we’ve been told by experts that Diana “would have” been delighted with Harry for marrying Meghan Markle. “Diana wold have loved Meghan,” says former Royal Butler Paul Burell in the Chester Chronicle. “Princess Diana would have loved Meghan Markle,” says Naomi Capbell on the BBC’s website. “Why Diana would have been so proud of her youngest son today,” says a Telegraph writer. Princess Diana “would have been in tears” at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding, says Andrew Morton. “Princess Diana would have wept with pride,” says Arthur Edward, Sun photographer. And the pick of the bunch: “Princess Diana would have helped Meghan avoid scandal, says former aide.”

But now “Princess Diana has spoken from beyond the grave to reveal newlyweds Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will have at least two children.” No recording of the address, sadly. Testimony is provided by “The Psychic Twins” who have “revealed to Daily Star Online the ‘People’s Princess’ has told them her son and new daughter-in-law will have their first child in 2019.”

This is a “stunning revelation” channelled from Terry and Linda Jamison, “dubbed ‘Nostradamus in Stilettos'”. Can they be trusted? YES! As if Diana would pick a fool to broadcast her message. You want proof? Here goes:

They told us that Diana would attend the Windsor Castle wedding and appear as a butterfly, then during the ceremony a fly was captured on video hitting Meghan’s face.

If you mumble ‘butter’, ‘butterfly’ can sound a lot like ‘fly’. And, sure, whilst colourful butterflies are known to hang around with flowers and sip flower nectar, and flies are more associated with imbibing liquified turds and disease, one can easily be mistaken for the other – especially if you pull their wings off. Anyhow, Diana told the twins: “I feel there may be a pregnancy fairly soon, before the year 2020, and both of them will be wonderful parents. Meghan will be a wonderful mother… another child may follow in a few years. I see at least one girl for them.”

And: “Their children will be very close with Will and Kate’s children, and I see them doing many play dates and activities together.”

Previously:

 

diana kate ghost diana princes kate

 

It’s what Diana ‘would have’ wanted.

Posted: 27th, May 2018 | In: News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United balls: Paul Pogba’s hair goes it alone

When Denmark’s football coach Åge Hareide talked about facing France in the World Cup and mentioned one of their players, Manchester United’s Paul Pogba, the Press mangled his words. Hareide was speaking with Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten. The paper headlined the story: “Åge Hareide designates the Danish World Cup quarterfinals as a target.” The full story is behind a paywall. But the Mirror has read it, apparently, and tells its readers:

“Man United star Paul Pogba slammed by national team boss – ‘Damn it, he cares so much about his appearance’ – Denmark boss Age Hareide has stuck the boot into the French international midfielder

The story tells us:

Paul Pogba has been mocked by Denmark’s coach before they meet in the World Cup next month. And Age Hareide claimed Didier Deschamps’ team are not “anything special” with no outstanding players… Hareide, who will face the French in Moscow on June 26, claimed the Manchester United midfielder is not a leader – and is obsessed with flashy haircuts. “He played against Manchester City with his hair dyed blue and white, maybe he’ll have it red and white to play us,” said the 64-year-old.. “Damn it, he cares so much about his appearance…”

That what he said? Not quite.

What he said was – and this through Google Traanslate:

“One day he [Pogba] is good, another bad. He played against Manchester City with his hair dyed in blue and white, maybe he’s red and white when he meets us.
Does he just think of his hairstyles?”

In other news from the Premier League football season just gone:

“Paul Pogba reveals latest haircut” – August 23 2017

“Garth Crooks took aim at Paul Pogba’s haircut” – September 11 2017

“Paul Pogba has unveiled another crazy hairstyle as he eyes a return to action” – Sep 26, 2017

“BBC pundit Garth Crooks has a weird obsession with footballers haircuts” – Nov 20, 2017

“‘Hair is burning!'” Paul Pogba shows off new outrageous hairdo” – December 15 2017

“Paul Pogba shows off striking new haircut” – February 26 2018

“Manchester United supporters slam Paul Pogba after he takes to Instagram to post picture of his new hairstyle” –  March 19 2018

“Paul Pogba’s latest haircut provokes priceless reaction from Chelsea striker Olivier Giroud” – March 28 2018

‘”It’s ridiculous” – Gary Neville slams Paul Pogba for dying his hair”‘ – April 7 2018

You can read all those stories in the Daily Mirror. Damn it – they care so much about his appearance!

Posted: 25th, May 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Chelsea owner Abramovich is not dead

CHELSEA FC owner Roman Abramovich is “BANNED FROM UK”. Well, so says the Daily Star. And it’s wrong. He’s just “faced delays in renewing his UK visa” the BBC “understands”. No that the Beeb knows much about the Russian billionaire who wasn’t at Wembley to see his investment win the FA Cup. This is its story in a nutshell:

Asked about the visa, Security Minister Ben Wallace said: “We do not routinely comment on individual cases.” Mr Abramovich’s office said it does not discuss personal matters with the media. Reports suggest his investor visa expired three weeks ago.

 

roman abramovich visa

 

Apropos of nothing much, the BBC then adds: “He is believed to be close to current Russian President Vladimir Putin.”

Whatever anyone suggests and believes, the Star is happy to go out on a limb and scream on Page 7: “ROMAN TOLD: YOU’RE NOT WELCOME ANY MORE.” But just one line in and the bold statement is undone as the Star says Abramovich’s visa has “reportedly run out”.

It all promised so much. What football fan was not smirking and mentally counting the seasons as Chelsea, shawn of Russian money, slide to those pre-Roman days of lower-league football and in-fighting. Not that a club’s overseas-domiciled owner needs to be a fan nor show up to games – see Man City, Man United, Spurs, Arsenal and Liverpool. But Chelsea is Roman’s alone. It’s a one-man empire. “What happens if he suddenly dropped dead, as Russian oligarchs have been known to do?” muses the Daily Mail. Dunno. Maybe a family man wily enough to be a billionaire has thought about that made plans?

 

roman abramovich visa

 

roman abramovich visa

 

He’s not dead. He’s “stranded in Russia,” says the Express. It adds that Roman “could become the first major casualty of the tensions since the Salisbury nerve agent attack on Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in March.” Of maybe, you know, he could not.

The Sun makes the link between poison and footy overt in its headline: “Chelsea owner stuck in Moscow after poison row.” But there’s no link between the two things. The headline might just as easily say: “Chelsea owner escapes Wembley bore-fest.”

It’s “Roman’s own goal” in the Mirror. Roman news shares a page with the story “Cut off dirty money, MPs plead” – “Fresh sanctions on Vladimir Putin’s cronies will be urged today to stem ‘dirty money’ harming UK security.” No suggestion whatsoever Abramovich has down anything wrong – other than fund Chelsea, the club that since his investment in 2003 have won 15 trophies. And that’s unforgivable, of course. Still, if could have been worse: he could have bought Spurs.

Posted: 21st, May 2018 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester City want Hazard; Chelsea star ‘agrees’ Real Madrid move with mind

Pick a top player. Any player. And then say Manchester City want him. The BBC says Manchester City are “planning” a £100m deal for Chelsea’s Eden Hazard. Pep Guardiola has earmarked the 27-year-old Belgium forward as “his top transfer target”. Over in the Daily Star, we get not only the same peak at City’s summer spending plan but also an insight into Pep’s head. News is that he’s “confident” of getting Hazard. And – get this – Hazard is “aware” that City like him.

The Daily Star can read minds. But it can’t conjure a quote of single fact to support its scoop – and neither can the BBC.

It might be worth have a look at what other Eden Hazard headlines the tabloids have provided us with:

Chelsea may offer Eden Hazard in a swap deal for Barcelona star Ousmane Dembele – Daily Star, Jan 21 2018

Eden Hazard AGREES Real Madrid move after snubbing Chelsea contract offer – Daily Express, Jan 10, 2018

EDEN TO REAL Eden Hazard agrees deal to join Real Madrid with Alvaro Morata moving the other way to Chelsea – The Sun, Jul 10, 2017

Eden Hazard reaches agreement with Real Madrid after secret transfer talks – The Metro, April 26, 2017

Hazard has done all that by communicating telepathically. Fact.

Posted: 21st, May 2018 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Manchester City, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment