Posts Tagged ‘Madeleine McCann’
Madeleine McCann: Amaral ‘Fala Com McCanns’ And Ten More Years
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann: Ten more years, gawping at Kate McCann, Amaral the panto baddie (boo- hiss – f*** off) and libel…
FIRST the good news for the voracious media in the never-ending story of Our Maddie, as the Daily Star says:
MCCANN FIGHT MAY RAGE ON FOR 10 YEARS
After ten more years of Our Maddie, the Star will have to return to Katie Price updates. But ten years is not too shabby. If the Daily Express can do it with Princess Diana for a decade, the Star’s sister paper can darn well do it for Our Maddie. It’s the least it can do.
Former detective Goncalo Amaral has vowed to take the fight to get his controversial book published to the European Court of Human Rights if he loses his current case.
But legal experts say that process could take a decade. Mr Amaral’s book claims Madeleine died in her family’s holiday flat in Praia da Luz, Portugal.
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Posted: 15th, January 2010 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comment
The Other View On The McCann Court Case: When Libel Trials Go Wrong
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann: There is a another view of this McCann court case which I warned about almost three years ago.
AGW writes:
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (4)
Court Hears Madeleine McCann ‘Died In Holiday Apartment’
LAWYER Jose Magalhaes e Menezes tells the court in the Goncalo Amaral libel trial of a report signed by Tavares De Almeida that said Madeleine McCann had ‘died’ in the family’s apartment.
Tavares De Almeida was the police chief inspector at the time Madeleine vanished.
Mr Amaral makes the same suggestion in his book that the McCanns would like banned. They are seeking libel damages. Mr Amaral says a ban infringes on his freedom of speech. A trial ensues.
And Sky News screams:
Madeleine McCann ‘Died In Holiday Apartment’
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (12)
Madeleine McCann: Coronation Street’s Simon Missing And Amaral’s Trial
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann: Portugal, Amaral, libel and Coronation Street:
IN Portugal, Kate and Gerry McCann’s legal action against Goncalo Amaral will last three days. As the disappearance of an innocent child became a form of entertainment, a brand for PRs and speculation, Amaral penned Maddie: The Truth Of The Lie, in which he claimed that Madeleine died in her family’s holiday flat on the night she disappeared.
That a detective who worked on the high-profile case should make his claims in a book – even using the tabloid nickname for the child – is pretty much in keeping with a single-thread story that became a chance for viewers at home to play armchair detective, show how much you care by a mawkish display of ribbon wearing and gawp at the girl’s bereft parents.
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (10)
Madeleine McCann: More Speculation, Children for Sale And Joana Cipriano
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann.
Kate and Gerry McCann are back in to Portugal for the libel trial against Goncalo Amaral, the detective who penned ‘The Truth of The Lie’, a book questioning the McCanns’ account about what happened to their daughter.
Says Clarence Mitchell:
“The details of their travel plans and itinerary will at their request remain private.”
Which means that journalists will actually have to follow the McCanns rather than simply rocking up for press conferences.
The news round-up:
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (9)
Madeleine McCann And The Senior Police Officer ‘Paedo’
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: HOLLIE Greig, who has Down’s Syndrome, “claims she was abused for 14 years from the age of six, and has given police the names of some of the men she says assaulted her, including a senior police officer and a sheriff.”
So reports the Press and Journal. However:
The Crown Office revealed last night that there was not enough reliable evidence to proceed with the case, however.
And this has what to do with the media’s Our Maddie?
Mrs Greig claims two of the alleged abusers moved to Portugal a number of years ago and she went to her local police station at Shrewsbury to pass on that information when news broke of the kidnapping of Madeleine McCann.
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Posted: 7th, January 2010 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (14)
Madeleine McCann: British Police On Operation Task Will Not Release Files
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: News is that Leicestershire Police files on the hunt for Madeleine McCann will only be made public when anyone involved in her alleged kidnapping is brought to justice.
Anorak learns that force’s paperwork includes everything from correspondence with Government ministers and the McCanns, details of police meetings, and possible leads and sightings.
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Posted: 3rd, January 2010 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (14)
Madeleine McCann’s Kidnapper Turns Up On Facebook
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: On Facebook, Madeleine McCann’s kidnapper has created a fan group. The message is:
“If 2,000,000 people join this group, I will give back Maddie McCann.”
Facebook plus Madeleine McCann: the tabloids are going to love this one. The person who set this is up is either: a) a kidnapper; b) a fantasist; c) unaware of the reward for the child’s return; d) a shock comic looking to attract lots of attention to themselves; e) a parodist mocking how people use the web to talk to Madeleine McCann and show how much they care?
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Posted: 24th, December 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comment
How Madeleine McCann Became A Fictional Character Called ‘Our Maddie’
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Writing in the Guardian, Esther Addley names Our Maddy one of the “Icons of the decade”.
It’s the unsettling mix of the incredibly intimate and the coolly tactical that has made the mystery of Madeleine McCann the biggest and most extraordinary child abduction story in history
No. It isn’t. The disappearance of Madeleine McCann is notable for one thing: the media feeding frenzy. The story itself has one thread: child goes missing. It is a newsworthy event but not the “most extraordinary child abduction story in history”.
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Posted: 23rd, December 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comment (1)
Madeleine McCann: Watching Kate McCann Cry
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: DID you see Kate McCann crying in Portugal? The Mirror leads its hunt for Our Maddie with:
“Madeleine McCann’s parents in tears during church visit”
But it’s the Express that really stares:
HEARTBROKEN Kate McCann returned to Britain yesterday without visiting the holiday apartment where she last saw her missing daughter Madeleine.
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Posted: 14th, December 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Gawping At Kate McCann In Praia Da Luz
KATE McCann and Gerry McCann are back in Praia da Luz. This means that they are once more featured on the cover of the Daily Express:
‘I MUST BE NEAR MADDIE’
Kate McCann finds solace in return to Praia da Luz
And we are watching the parents. No end in sight of this single-thread narrative that causes the media to obsess. There is just more chance to look at the parents, examine the grief and were the Express not, as it factually states, the “WORLD’S GREATEST NEWSPAPER” we might imagine it was enjoying the experience of looking.
Kate McCann is innocent. No police are arresting her. But still we are invited to stare.
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Posted: 13th, December 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (6)
Madeleine McCann: Kate And Gerry McCann Return To The Ocean Club, Praia Da Luz
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: MADELEINE McCann is back on the front pages.
Daily Mail (front page): “Kate’s agony over libel battle”
On Augsut 5 2007 the Daily Mail brought “Kate’s Agony”
On August 13, 2007, the Daily Mirror brought us “Kate’s Agony”
On September 28, 2007, the Sun led with “Kate’s Agony.”
From then to now no new clue has been found as to what happened to Madeleine McCann. We are still watching the parents. We are gawping.
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While You Were Watching Madeleine McCann, Serena Wylde Was Charged In Praia da Luz
WHILE you were reading about Madeleine McCann, another Briton, Serena Wylde, was facing a prison sentence for goings on in Praia da Luz.
Fait Trials International highlights the case of the 58 year old business woman from Putney, “facing a possible prison sentence in Portugal after making a complaint against a lawyer to the profession’s regulatory body. Serena is due to stand trial in the Algarve on charges of aggravated criminal defamation, which carries a sentence of over 6 months in prison.”
Want to know what she did, or is at least said to have done?
The charge relates to a letter Serena wrote to the solicitors’ regulatory body in Portugal, the “Ordem dos Advogados”, calling for disciplinary action to be taken against a lawyer who had been acting in a property dispute with her neighbour. Instead of investigating the matter, the body forwarded the letter to the prosecutor’s office who then began criminal proceedings against Miss Wylde for aggravated defamation.
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Posted: 11th, December 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)
Madeleine McCann: The English Gag And A Fight In Portugal
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Gerry and Kate McCann are in Lisbon, Portugal, petitioning a judge for a total ban on Goncalo Amaral’s book The Truth Of The Lie, in which the former policeman challenges their version of Madeleine’s disappearance.
It is also effectively a libel trial, as the McCanns seek damages. They say that anyone reading the book will conclude that Madeleine is dead and stop looking for her.
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Posted: 11th, December 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (5)
Madeleine McCann: Raymond Hewlett’s Death Bed Confession
RAYMOND Hewlett has never been charged with any crime in connection with the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. There is no evidence linking him to her disappearance. But he became a person of interest. He became the “Maddie paedo” and the media’s “Maddie Pervert”.
He spoke with The Sun:
SUN: Why don’t you eliminate yourself from the inquiry for the sake of the McCanns?
HEWLETT: I don’t have to speak to you. F*** off.
He was accused of wanting money:
A friend of the McCanns said: ‘It has been made abundantly clear to Hewlett that he is not going to get a penny from the Madeleine Fund. It would be like asking the victims to pay. He is saying he wants money to look after his kids if he dies, but no one is going to touch him with a bargepole. He should be more worried about being eliminated from the inquiry. If he truly has nothing to hide, he should be happy to come out and say it. He ought to be grateful that the detectives are willing to speak to him with a view to crossing him off their list of possible suspects.”
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Madeleine McCann: Novelty Records And Clues
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: The Daily Express has scoop and songs to search for Our Maddie by..
AS the Daily Star has Katie Price, the Daily Express has Madeleine McCann. And today Express readers get:
NEW LEADS OVER MISSING MADDIE
DETECTIVES in Britain have passed details of several possible sightings of Madeleine McCann to their Portuguese counterparts following a worldwide internet appeal.
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Posted: 6th, December 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comment (1)
Daily Express Interrupts News Of Madeleine McCann And Princess Diana To Bemoan BBC Repeats
THE Daily Express leads with news that “CHRISTMAS TV IS 600 HOURS OF REPEATS.” Is that all? Of course if the Daily Express operated a TV station it would be a loop of repeats of Pricness Diana and speculation on Madeleine McCann broken up by ad breaks for hardcore porn. MacGuffin investigates:
THE (ahem) ‘World’s Greatest Newspaper’ is leading with the really crucial issues of the day again today.
More important than Obama’s speech on extra troops for Afghanistan is the news that there will be some repeats on TV over Christmas.
A stunning revelation indeed.
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Madeleine McCann: In Qatar
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Madeleine McCann evoked Qatar…
IN “Woman fights for son taken by Sharia court”, the Telegraph reports on British mother Rebecca Jones’ fight “to win back her son Adam, 10, after a Sharia court in Qatar awarded custody of the boy to her dead ex-husband’s family.”
The use of the word “Sharia” seems unnecessary given that Qatar is an Arab emirate stuck on Saudi Arabia. It’s news of the tautological.
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Posted: 29th, November 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comment (1)
Madeleine McCann: The Media Creates A New Maddie Monster And Twists The Facts
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Madeleine McCann is still making news. No, the not because she has been found or that anyone is investigating her disappearance, but because ‘Maddie Fruadster‘ Kevin Halligen has been nicked.
It’s news on Page 11 of the Daily Express: “Madeleine ‘detective’ fraud case.” Halligen ran a firm that was hired to look for Our Maddie. But the alleged fraud has nothing to do with the monies he earned for that job. This is a “£1.2 million fraud in the US”. Earlier it was a “£1.3milion” fraud .
Such are the facts – and the shifting exchange rates.
The Sun, meanwhile, searches for a link between Halligen’s alleged fraud and Madeleine McCann. How can we turn Halligen into a figure of hate? The paper screams:
“Maddie rat tried to sue fund for £150k’
Conniving Halligen was sacked by the charity – which had already paid him £300,000 – after bosses began to suspect he was a conman. But he then had the nerve to threaten to sue for half as much money again, claiming he was still owed it as part of a three-phase contract. A source close to the fund said: “There were a series of letters between our solicitors and his.
“He said he was going to sue us for what he claimed he was still owed and our message was basically, ‘See you in court’.”
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Posted: 26th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: Kevin Halligen Becomes The ‘Maddie Faudster’
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: KEVIN Halligen has been arrested. But his arrest has nothing to do with Halligen’s company Oakley International, which was paid £300,000 from campaign donations to find Madeleine McCann.
Halligan has been arrested over a separate alleged fraud. Police were called in light of a discrepancy over his bill at the Old Bank Hotel in Oxford.
Thames Valley Police said in a statement: “We arrested a 48-year-old man at the Old Bank Hotel in Oxford. It was a discrepancy over his hotel bill.”
Halligen is wanted in the United States, accused of using a client’s funds – a law firm – for his own benefit. It is alleged he bought a mansion in Virginia with the firm’s money.
It is claimed he had said the money was to help secure the release of two business executives from the Dutch company Trafigura, who were arrested in the Ivory Coast.
But it’s his relationship with Our Maddie that occupies the mind of the press:
A spokesman for the McCann family said: “Our association with Halligen and Oakley International ended well over a year ago. Given that an arrest has been made it would be inappropriate for us to comment.”
The Sun (front page): “MADDIE FRAUDSTER NICKED”
Halligen is the “Madeleine fraudster” even though he is accused of committing no fraud against the missing child nor her team.
Sky News says: “Madeleine ‘Conman’ Charged With Fraud”. Meanwhile, back in the Sun:
A DODGY “detective” on the run accused of swindling the Madeleine McCann fund out of £300,000 was nicked last night – thanks to The Sun. Kevin Halligen, 50, was led from his bolthole in handcuffs after our investigators staked out a luxury Oxford hotel then tipped off cops. The fugitive whined to police: “How did you find me?”
Well, Sky News mentions a discrepancy in the bill – a bill that ran into thousands of pounds, allegedly, the Sun prefers to foster the idea that police and hacks are scouting the country for the ‘Maddie fraudster’.
Our team tipped off police that he and his lover were about to flee after we staked out their bolthole.
But what that bit about the bill? Oh:
Last night cops who found him and his girlfriend with their bags packed were holding him over his unpaid bill at the plush Old Bank hotel in Oxford.
So they didn’t arrest Halligen over the Sun’s tip off, nor did police arrest him because of any link to Our Maddie. The arrested him over an unpaid bill. What other facts?
He won a £500,000 contract as the McCanns, both 41-year-old doctors from Rothley, Leics, prayed for clues. Much of the cash is said to have gone on luxury hotels, chauffeured limos and first-class flights as he lived the high life.
It is alleged. But the name of Our Maddie, once evoked is hard to shift:
The Times gives us:
A 48-year-old man wanted by the FBI who allegedly defrauded people across the world, including the Madeleine McCann fund, was arrested last night at a hotel in Oxford.
Whereas in the Telegraph we get:
The security consultant whose company was paid £300,000 from publicly donated funds to help find Madeleine McCann has been charged with a separate £1.3m fraud.
Or to put the news another way: Man who once worked on Madeleine McCann case arrested over unpaid hotel bill.
Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (3)
Madeleine McCann And The Wanted ‘James Bond’ Spy
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: The “secret agent con man”, Oakley International and detectives seek detectives…
For three summers, the hunt has been on for the media’s Our Maddie. She has yet to be found. What happend to her has yet to be established. All we know is that she missing.
The detectives have failed.
The Guardian: “FBI searches for detective who worked on Madeleine McCann case”
He’s gone missing? Is foul play suspected? What say the detectives who aren’t missing?
A British security consultant who was paid £300,000 to assist efforts by Kate and Gerry McCann to find their daughter Madeleine is being sought by the FBI over an alleged £1.3m fraud.
A £500,000 contract given to Kevin Halligen’s private detective agency, Oakley International, to help with the search for the missing child was terminated last year after a major benefactor of the McCanns expressed concerns about the quality of the firm’s work.
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Posted: 22nd, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (4)
Madeleine McCann Is Every Parent’s Bogeyman
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Michael White’s poppy pornography and Our Spanish Maddie keeps Shannon Kyle in work.
FIRST up, the Guardian’s Michael White tells us about how the “pornography of grief has devalued poignancy of the poppy” and how Madeleine McCann is implicated in it:
The Victorians made a lot of fuss over death too. Just look at those tombstones: exotic, even erotic, in old cemeteries. But at least it was the deaths of their own loved ones they were mourning. Death was everywhere all the time before the development of modern antibiotics.
Now death sits in rest homes, impatiently waiting for life to finish swirling round the plug hole.
We, who have so little experience of it by comparison, have forgotten how to handle the great unknown in a largely godless age. Hence the macabre fuss over Princess Di, over missing Madeleine McCann and over poor, abused Jade Goody too.
Jade Goody gets two adjectives; Our Maddie gets none.
After White, the Guardian gives space to Shannon Kyle to deliver yet another of those Odes To Parenting, in which Our Maddie is the parent’s bogeyman:
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Posted: 13th, November 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: Prudent Kate And Gerry McCann Still Have Two Kids Left
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: In a piece entitled “Madeleine McCann’s Siblings, Sky News’ Colin Brazier delivers an article which blends fact with fiction to produce something opportunistic, hideous that should offer Kate And Gerry McCann no little comfort:
Just over two years ago the release of the film Gone Baby Gone was allegedly postponed because of parallels with the case of Madeleine McCann.
Not alleged. This is what we learnt from Affleck on October 12, 2007:
“Disney UK made the decision to postpone the movie but I absolutely support it and I’m pleased by what I think is erring on the side of good taste. There’s no rush. It’s obviously a sensitive time and if there are any similarities we can wait to distribute the movie in the UK. I was only vaguely aware of the Madeleine case because it wasn’t a big thing here in the United States. Maybe I’m out of it because I don’t read many newspapers, but I didn’t really know much about it until somebody said, ‘Hey, there may be some similarities’.”
Anyone traumatised by Afflecks’s performance in car accident movie Changing Lanes, who is a devout Christian and found Dogma offensive or who fears impending Armageddon can applaud Ben’s actions.
The Times told us:
However, in the wake of the Madeleine McCann case, this adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s 1998 novel was withdrawn from this year’s Times/bfi London Film Festival because of its sensitive subject matter, and may never be released in the UK”
The film was released. Child abuse was delivered as a form of entertainment. And Affleck told us:
Affleck: What has happened to Madeleine McCann is terrible and it was the right decision to wait until now before bringing out the film, as we didn’t want to upset the family.
Affleck: “I worked with the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children [which is involved in the search for Madeleine McCann] and I found out about the extent of child abuse internationally. It is horrifying.
Affleck: “Sometimes, abuse is as simple as leaving your kids in front of the TV all day and thinking that it is sufficient parenting.”
Back to Brazier and “Madeleine McCann’s siblings”:
It was felt the movie, which tells the fictional story of the abduction of a four-year-old girl, was too close to real life. Although written before Madeleine McCann’s abduction [sic], Gone Baby Gone contained some inadvertent but nonetheless [sic] extraordinarily coincidental material. The plot focuses on a 4-year-old played by an actress – actually called Madeleine – who shows an uncanny resemblance to the real Madeleine McCann. I watched the film six months ago and was quite staggered by how accidentally art had imitated life.
You mean to say that stories can be based on real life events, and fears? Brazier then introduces readers to more works of fiction:
Child abduction has been dealt with by artists before. In his 1987 novel The Child In Time, Ian McEwan writes about the disappearance of a three year old. The scene where the father loses sight of his daughter in a supermarket, while momentarily distracted, never to see her again, is brilliantly wrought.
How does it end, Colin?
Both stories have different endings. In the film the child is found alive and well. In the book the child is never found and the mystery is never solved. But the book does offer one answer.
And in Maddie’s story? What happens?
Mercifully, such abductions are as rare now as they were fifty years ago (it’s only our paranoia which has increased). But the phenomenon of couples destroyed by the loss of an only-child may be on the rise.
Anyone following his argument. Child abduction in books is rare. But many one-child couples break up. Are these parents in the real world or in books? Is there a difference? Is it all just a form of entertainment?
Think of some recent high-profile cases.
Thinking:
Tragic parents like Neil and Kazumi Puttick. In June, they leapt to their deaths from Beachy Head, clutching the body of their five-year-old son Sam. He had died of meningitis the week before and his parents were crippled with grief. Or parents like 40-year-old Joanna Coombs. Last year, her body was found on the same tracks where her daughter – and only child – had died two months before.
These are real parents whose tragedies are placed in the context of works of fiction. And what do they have to do with Madeleine McCann or her siblings, the twin or which there are, er, two?
It stands to reason that when parents put all their eggs in one all-too-fragile basket, the loss of that child may prove insupportable. Previous generations understood that a larger family provided a shield against the loss of a singleton. In the words of Churchill’s famous, if callous, dictum: “One for mother, one for father, one for increase and one for accidents“.
Anyone else feeling sick? Lucky the McCanns had a couple of children left over, then. Good news. How prudent of them to bring three children into the world. It might well be what has kept them going, and alive. You want more from Brazier? Here goes:
When tragedy strikes a multi-child family, parents are more likely to carry on for those who remain, no matter how grief-stricken they are.
How much more likely? More likely than the McCanns or less likely than the cast of Schindler’s List?
Some social scientists already fret about how the rise of the only child is changing society. One talks about the ‘Saving Private Ryan’ effect. The fictional Private Ryan was the only one of four brothers to survive the battle for Normandy in 1944. Would a modern parent be so sanguine about an only-child fighting for his or her country?
Answers in the form of a work of fiction.
That’s a choice few will have to make. But many will make much more quotidian decisions about danger. It is one reason why so many modern children are not permitted to take risks of almost any description.
Fact and fiction. Can you spot the difference?
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (7)
Madeleine McCann: The Fund Is Investigated, In Pictures
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: The Fund is investigated.
The Sun: “Anti-McCann group facing fraud probe”
FRAUD cops are probing the bank account of a campaign group which says Maddie McCann is dead – and aims to blame her parents.
Who are they, then?
Controversial lawyer Tony Bennett helped set up the Madeleine Foundation, but its account is now frozen.
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Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann | Comment
Katie Price’s Burning Sensation X Factor Presents The Week In Pictures
WHAT a week that was, folks. We saw Gary Glitter’s Halloween costume, a man was beaten to death on the telly for our entertainment, The Cheeky Girls encouraged thoughts of them mating with X Factor’s Jedward and creating a new breed of horror, Madonna sanitized Africa, police arrested West Ham, Stephen Fry fans pretending to be actors, had a strop on Twitter, X Factor agonist Danyl Johnson was beaten by Hitler, giving us another reason to hate Danyl with a Y, Marlon King was branded a typical footballer, you got to cover your cat’s anus with a glitter ball, Muslims laughed at Muslims, Ollie Murs reminded us of them, Iggy Pop, Muhammad reminded us of corduroy bodysuits, starred in a film as John Travolta, we blamed the Muslims for Madeleine McCann, Al Gore became a God, Daily Mail readers came out in favour of Sharia LawNazis and , we learnt that a virus can wear bovver boots, was burnt as a bitch, Katie PriceSusan Boyle was our transsexual Jesus, Lindsay Lohan died, almost, Ringo Starr became something funny in the water, we saw the Carrie Prejean sex tape, Katie and Peter got back together, we enjoyed blood porn, Sharon Osbourne presented her hairy arsehole, Jedward reviewed their novelty record collection, Elizabeth LambertBeyonce made us watch women’s football- and it was good, showed us her knickers and Nidal Malik Hasan became a victim as he murdered 13 people.
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
