CORRIDORS. Not just any old creepy, long, silent, anxiety-inducing, lonely, crippling, haunted corridors, but eerie, antiseptic, soulless, menacing, echoey, brooding, lugubrious corridors in sci-fi films. Corridors that when you scream no-one can hear you.
Corridors are the places in film that let the dialogue pause and the tensions build. You’d run along though them. If your legs let you.
These are the best corridors in sci-fi:
Code-46 – Michael-Winterbottom (2003)
The Black-Hole – Gary Nelson (1979)
Ikarie XB-1 (1963, Jindřich Polák)
Ridley Scott’s Alien
George Lucas’s THX-1138
Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965, Gordon Flemyng)
Stereo (1969, David Cronenberg)
Saturn 3 (1980, Stanley Donen)
Outland (1981, Peter Hyams)
Equilibrium (2002, Kurt Wimmer)
Alphaville: Une étrange aventure de Lemmy Caution (1965, Jean-Luc Godard)
Titan A.E. (2000, Don Bluth and Gary Goldman)
Forbidden Planet (1956, Fred M. Wilcox)
2010 (1984, Peter Hyams)
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977, George Lucas)
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (1977, George Lucas)
Solyaris (1972, Andrei Tarkovsky)
Event Horizon (1997, Paul W. S. Anderson)
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968, Stanley Kubrick)
Westworld (1973, Michael Crichton)
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991, Nicholas Meyer)
Robocop (1987, Paul Verhoeven)
Upside Down (2012, Juan Diego Solanas)
Species (1995, Roger Donaldson)
Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956, Fred F. Sears)
KANYE West, the hopelessly self-important rapper, says on his new album, Yeezus “get this bitch shaking like Parkinson’s”.
Steve Ford, Chief Executive at Parkinson’s UK, is upset:
“Kanye West has shown an inexcusable level of stupidity and cruelty towards people living with an incurable condition. Life with Parkinson’s is difficult enough without becoming fodder for insensitive celebrities who should know better, looking for their next big hit.
“People with Parkinson’s have to cope with intolerable social discrimination on a daily basis – often to the point where they are afraid to go out in public – and this sort of thoughtless, callous comment can only serve to make things even worse for them.”
A NEW mural painted on a Brixton wall by James Cochran aka Jimmy C shows the image of David Bowie from the cover of his 1973 album Aladdin Sane.
David Robert Jones was Brixton born in 1947.
NEWS that Rupert Murdoch is divorcing Wendi Deng, has yet to reach the media man’s twitter account. There have been rumours – strenuously denied – that an affair lies behind the marital split. The Hollywood Reporter summed up in the headline:
A spokesperson for Tony Blair flatly denied media rumors that Wendi Murdoch is romantically involved with the former British prime minister.
News of Murdoch’s divorce, which made it onto the front pages of other papers, made it onto page 11 of The Sun and rated as marginally less interesting in terms of column inches than recent stories about KT Tunstall, Billy Ray Cyrus and Harold Hamm (no, me either).
TEEN Mom porn star Farrah Abraham has broadcast pictures of her breast enlargement surgery. What she dosen’t know, of course, is that inside her right breast is a reality TV camera crew and outside broadcast truck. Her left breast contains an under-ripe honeydew melon, one of her five-a-day. An expert says that thanks to her new oversized breasts Farrah now looks exactly like a woman with false breasts. Farrah hopes to inspire woman with undersized breasts to look less freakish:
HELEN Flanagan is front-page news. The pneumatic former Coronation Street actress last seen having a hissy fit in the I’m A Celebrity jungle, has been the victim of a burglary.
The Sun leads with a picture of Helen dressed in a bikini, as it once led with a racy photo of reality TV star and lad’s mag favourite Reeva Steenkamp after her altercation with ‘burglars’. Steenkamp was the woman allegedly killed in a botched burglary. Blessedly, Helen’s sports star boyfriend, Manchester City’s Scott Sinclair, was away at the time and never raced to her aid by shooting her dead through a closed toilet door, as athlete Oscar Pistorius says he did.
The Sun says Sinclair’s absence is what triggered the burglary. Beneath another picture of Helen, this time topless in just half a bikini, the Sun reports:
HELEN Flanagan was held hostage by armed raiders at her £2.8million home — hours after tweeting that she was missing her boyfriend who was away on holiday. The TV babe was traumatised by the late-night ordeal and told a pal: “I could have been killed.”
But she wasn’t. The thieves stole jewels and a mobile phone.
Helen had tweeted at 8:06am
“So super tired today — which makes me emotional sensitive and mental ha?? Can’t wait to have my bf home.”
The Express tells of her “terror“. The three men wer armed with a “saw” and a”screwdriver“. It’s an odd choice of weaponry, but it does follow the news that Helen has had a nose job. Viewers of face makeover shows will recognise the tools of the cosmetic surgeon. Police are making inquiries.
And they should read the Mirror, whish claims that is has the “exclusive” on the raid. Having read in the Sun that Flangan was home “alone“, the Mirror tells us:
The former Coronation Street star and a female companion were locked in a utility room after confronting the intruders, who were brandishing a hand-saw and screwdriver.
Helen and her friend are believed to have managed to raise the alarm from a mobile phone and were finally freed when police arrived just before midnight on Monday.
The raiders arrived at 11:50. The police arrived just before midnight. And in that time, the trio of bandits had “ransacked” the oversized footballer’s mansion, the one Sinclair rents for £6,500 a month from ex-Manchester United defender Wes Brown.
The Star says the raiders “grabbed Helen’s jewellery and a mobile phone before fleeing the property”.
The Mirror then focuses on Flanagan:
Helen, 22, told one close pal: “I can’t cope with going back there – I don’t feel safe in my own home any more. I could have been killed.
“It was the most frightening experience of my life. I was absolutely petrified. I’m a nervous wreck as a result of it.”
Or as the Daily Mail puts it:
A spokesman for the former Coronation Street actress confirmed she was left ‘shaken’ by the incident but is ‘coping well’.
Such are the facts…
MANY Disney cartoons were made by Rotoscoping? What’s that then? Wikipedia tells us:
“Rotoscoping is an animation technique in which animators trace over footage, frame by frame, for use in live-action and animated films.”
Here are classic Disney characters superimposed onto the actors who played them:
Anorak brings you the Greatest Beauty Pageant Answers Ever. And – remember – no-one likes you if you are cute and smart. Maybe this article shold be entitled The Smartest Beauty Pageant Answers Ever?
BEFORE the Wall came down and the EU came knocking, Polish film posters for American film were handmade. Nowadays, Poles are seduced to Americans films with the usual cocktail of edited quotes from critics and airbrushed photography. But when US publicity material was banned, film posters for Yankee movies were created by artists interpreting the film.
There is no proof that they were more effective in getting punters in to watch the film. But the billboards would have been more beautiful:
He tells the Evening Standard:
“The pictures are horrific but give a far more drastic and violent impression of what took place…
“About a week ago, we were sitting outside a restaurant having an intense debate about the children, and I held Nigella’s neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasise my point. There was no grip, it was a playful tiff. Nigella’s tears were because we both hate arguing, not because she had been hurt. We had made up by the time we were home. The paparazzi were congregated outside our house after the story broke yesterday morning, so I told Nigella to take the kids off till the dust settled.”
The story does not end there. Ever since the Sunday People published the photos, the story has been a cause of chatter. The Sunday Mirror even made a joke of it all, punning that TV cook Nigella was at “BOILING POINT“.
A few days on and vain arsehat Nick Griffin, the BNP’s monocular tosser, who thanks to the democratic experiment has the mandate from 120,139 voters, tweets:
If I had the opportunity to squeeze Nigella Lawson, her throat wouldn’t be my first choice.
The Mirror gets wind of that stupid comment and reports:
Controversial politician makes derogatory sexual comment about celebrity chef
Others would surely prefer to look at the fact that Griffin fancies a Jewish mother of two. (Griffin claimed he fell out with Tyndall over the latter’s policy on Muslims: “Because he hated Jews so much, he thought Muslims couldn’t be all that bad if they didn’t like Jews” – Times)
But let’s not analyse the pillock. Let’s just note that the Mirror made its own joke at a time when it appeared to be alleging that Nigella had been the victim of domestic violence. Classy stuff.
The Express picks up on the story. It thunders: “Outrage as BNP leader Nick Griffin makes sick joke about Nigella Lawson on Twitter”.
This would be the Express whose sister paper the Daily Star once backed the EDL? The Express that asked of Nigella, “So has TV’s yummy cook out a bit too much in her tummy?” Is this the Express whose sister organ, Channel X, is showing this week such right-on films as Angel’s Gutter Girls, Skint Students and St Teenycums Nymphic Games 1? Is that the same Express outraged by “derogatory sexual comment about the celebrity chef?
The Daily Mail once invited us to look at Nigella’s “jumbo knees”. And ITV infamously tweeted: [Nigella Lawson] is “nowhere near as attractive as she thinks she is”.
Be outraged by Nick Griffin. Be more outraged that people actually elected him to be an MEP (one reason to quit the EU, surely, Mr Farage). But if you are going to outraged by sexism, recognise that it’s not only racial bigots who champion it…
GET ready to mock a man who thinks he can talk to the ether. TV psychic Derek Acorah cancelled a show earlier this month due to “unforeseen circumstances”.
THE CELEBRITY Police Force has been summoned to hang out with Nigella Lawson and her husband Charles Saatchi. Yesterday’s pictures of Saatchi with his hand about the TV cook’s have led to CPF action. The Mirror, which broke the story, thunders from its front page:
“Police Probe Nigella Choke Attack”
PETER Andre’s life is an episodic, deadline-driven journey of self-discovery. In his Now magazine column Andre was talking about Justin Bieber being accompanied to a basketball game with a man so big his Everest mountaineers call him ‘The Big One”.
“When I was younger, I went through a stage where I always had two bodyguards but when I got older, I realised its counter-effective, because it actually draws more attention to you!”
And that’s why ITV2′s Peter Andre no longer needs a pair of bodyguards…
THE Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra tells the story of the pianist and his lover Scott Thorson (pictured above in a Boston eatery back in 1981). Predictably, Thorson has been promoting the hell out of himself. The highlight of his memory banks is his tale of a six-year long romance with Michael Jackson.
“Liberace introduced me and Michael in the late 1970s. It was right around the time Thriller was coming out and Michael and I became lovers. Our relationship went on for six or seven years. Michael was very generous too. He treated me well. Liberace and I had both undergone plastic surgery around the same time Michael underwent a nose job because he didn’t think he was handsome. We all healed together at the Liberace compound in Palm Springs.”
It’s a wonderful tableau. But can it be true.
PopBitch has produced proof that Thorson and Jackson met and hung out together. In this 1981 photo, Scott Thorson is sitting next to Michael Jackson, being driven around Beaulieu Motor Museum with Liberace by Lord Montagu of Beaulieu.
Liberace did love a big car. Her he is posing with a a one-of-a-kind 1956 Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud I on Feb. 21, 1985. The car was originally designed for Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson’s close pal. Isn’t Hollywood wonderfully incestuous…
PHOTOSHOP. ASk for it on prescription:
SUMMER Verona, nee Christina Medina, is a porn star. She’s 18. Her step-father, guardian and mentor “knew she would smoking hot for porn when she was 7-years-old”. She’s starred in the film My step-father made me.
Summer is a prostitute at Dennis Hof’s World Famous Bunny Ranch in Nevada.
This video is NSFW. And it the creepiest thing you might ever see. Unless it’s all a marketing ploy, in which case you might wonder which niche market it’s appealing to?
Spotter: Dangerous Minds
IS Kanye West a work of parody? These are highlight of his interview in the NY Times:
Anytime I’ve had a big thing that’s ever pierced and cut across the Internet, it was a fight for justice. Justice. And when you say justice, it doesn’t have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. It could be clearing a path to make it fair within the arena that I play. You know, if Michael Jordan can scream at the refs, me as Kanye West, as the Michael Jordan of music, can go and say, “This is wrong.”
I remember when both Gnarls Barkley and Justin [Timberlake] lost for Album of the Year, and I looked at Justin, and I was like: “Do you want me to go onstage for you? You know, do you want me to fight” —
On Heroic Justice:
I am so credible and so influential and so relevant that I will change things. So when the next little girl that wants to be, you know, a musician and give up her anonymity and her voice to express her talent and bring something special to the world, and it’s time for us to roll out and say, “Did this person have the biggest thing of the year?” — that thing is more fair because I was there.
On Being Mr Kim, Kardashian:
I’m like, the anti-celebrity, and my music comes from a place of being anti.
I would hear stories about Steve Jobs and feel like he was at 100 percent exactly what he wanted to do, but I’m sure even a Steve Jobs has compromised. Even a Rick Owens has compromised. You know, even a Kanye West has compromised. Sometimes you don’t even know when you’re being compromised till after the fact, and that’s what you regret.
On His Music:
Creative output, you know, is just pain. I’m going to be cliché for a minute and say that great art comes from pain. But also I’d say a bigger statement than that is: Great art comes from great artists. There’s a bunch of people that are hurt that still couldn’t have made the album that was super-polarizing and redefined the sound of radio.
The idea of Kanye and vanity are like, synonymous. But I’ve put myself in a lot of places where a vain person wouldn’t put themselves in. Like what’s vanity about wearing a kilt?
On The Wonder of Me:
I sat down with a clothing guy that I won’t mention, but hopefully if he reads this article, he knows it’s him and knows that out of respect, I didn’t mention his name: this guy, he questioned me before I left his office:, “If you’ve done this, this, and this, why haven’t you gone further in fashion?” And I say, “I’m learning.” But ultimately, this guy that was talking to me doesn’t make Christmas presents, meaning that nobody was asking for his [stuff] as a Christmas present. If you don’t make Christmas presents, meaning making something that’s so emotionally connected to people, don’t talk to me.
I would rather sit in a factory than sit in a Maybach.
I want to tell people, “I can create more for this world, and I’ve hit the glass ceiling.” If I don’t scream, if I don’t say something, then no one’s going to say anything, you know? So I come to them and say, “Dude, talk to me! Respect me!”
I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay-Z was allowed to become Jay-Z.
I’ve been connected to the most culturally important albums of the past four years, the most influential artists of the past ten years. You have like, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Howard Hughes, Nicolas Ghesquière, Anna Wintour, David Stern.
I think that’s a responsibility that I have, to push possibilities, to show people: “This is the level that things could be at.” So when you get something that has the name Kanye West on it, it’s supposed to be pushing the furthest possibilities. I will be the leader of a company that ends up being worth billions of dollars, because I got the answers. I understand culture. I am the nucleus.
On confidence issues…
REMEMBER the thrill of your teacher telling you that classwork was going to stop in favour of watching a film? Well, one teacher in France decided he’d do that with his class of 11 year-olds and showed them violent horror flick, Saw.
He’s suspended now. Of course he is.
Apparently, Jean-Baptiste Clément told his students: “This will be your first horror film.” It goes without saying that at least one pupil ended up at home looking distinctly unwell.
“He returned from school on Monday evening, visibly in some discomfort, not well,” said the father. “I asked him and he told me his maths teacher had shown them a horror film during class. At the moment the teachers are having staff meetings and parent-teacher meetings, so their classes are cut short and interrupted a bit.”
The father then went to the authorities.
Clement was suspended on Tuesday while the school investigated and will probably face further punishment. “We’re in the process of seeing what sort of legal measures we might be able to take in this case,” said a spokesperson for the school in Hauts-de-Seine.
If you haven’t seen Saw, it involves a masked serial killer who makes people perform gruesome acts on themselves as part of some dreadful sadistic ritual. If you ever went to Cambridge University law school, you’ll know the kind of thing…
WHEN news reached the Sun that Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson had tried to kill herself, the paper splashed the 15-year-old over its front page.
Over pages 4 and 5, the Sun told readers of her “cry for help”, pointed to “marks on her arms” and linked the suicide attempt to a family row. Readers were also invited to study three photographs of Paris.
I still really like Dina Goldstein’s series on Fallen Princesses, a dystopian, Hollywoodisation of the fairy tale dreamers…
IN 1989, Ian Brown and John Squire of The Stone Roses were interviewed for Music Box. It was awkward. The interviewer comes across like a therapist or headteacher talking to naughty teenagers. Brown smiles warmly:
GILD the cobbles and have the staff set the sun to 78 degrees over Cap Ferat. Tamara Eccelstone, 28, has found a new way to spunk her dad, billionaire F1 boss Bernie’s piles of cash. She’s getting married.
When her sister Petra married James Stunt she moved into a house so large it had its own seat at the UN. Petra told us about the place she called home:
“I did have a wrapping room, but I can’t giftwrap, so it was useless.’ On the other hand, ‘we’ve kept the gym, beauty salons, the bowling alley and the cinema. But we’ve only used the cinema once and I’ve never been in the pool.”
LOVE is… Donald Featherstone and his wife Nancy have been wearing matching outfits for the past 35 years.
RICHARD BLACKWOOD is getting something shoved up his bum on the telly AGAIN. The star has agreed to be rectally examined live on This Morning today. Bosses have roped in the comic, once dubbed Britain’s answer to Eddie Murphy, in an effort to raise awareness of prostate cancer. It is the second time Richard has had something inserted into his backside for TV. He had a coffee enema for Channel 5’s Celebrity Detox Camp ten years ago.
Other talented arseholes working in showbiz must be green with envy.
PS – If the 1970s were a different world as far as the attitude to sex was concerned, the current age will be remembered as the one where what once went on in the privacy of star’s BBC studios is now a public service announcement.
And then it happened. In looking for a picture of Blackwood to illustrate the story of his talented bum hole, we realised that the man is a frustrated proctologist. The man’s fingers and thumbs are primed and ready. His anus might be a meme: