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Peaches Geldof And The Shameless Double Standards Of The Tabloid-Bashing Guardian

WRITING on Peaches Geldof in the Guardian, Hadley Freeman says ‘The Geldofs were Britain’s first celebrity family”. The article is called:

‘Beyond pain’: Peaches Geldof, Paula Yates and one family’s epic suffering”

Epic suffering? We don’t know the family any more than Freeman does, but we imagine their suffering at untimely deaths of loved ones – Peaches’ mother Paula Yates, her partner Michael Hutchence (whose orphaned daughter has been raised by Bob Geldof) and now the second oldest daughter of three – though terrible for the nearest and dearest are no more epic than what many families have endured. But it’s this family’s fame that attracts the hyperbole and acres of news coverage, not the individuals.

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Posted: 9th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dial M for Music: 4 Records And Their Tales of Murder

HERE are four albums which serve as starting points to murder stories. They range from factual to dodgy at best, but they are all interesting. The four stories include: (1) A Sonny Bono wannabe turned nurse killer, (2) an ex-stripper ventriloquist who witnesses the JFK assassination, (3) a fairy tale turned horror story, and (4) an urban legend of a screaming nude cover model that just won’t go away. Enjoy!

 

THE JON & ROBIN ELASTIC EVENT (1967)

 

jon and robin Dial M for Music: 4 Records And Their Tales of Murder

 

Jon & Robin were your standard pop duo of the late Sixties, specializing in groovy bubblegum psychedelia. Jon’s dad owned the record label, Abnak Records; so, naturally, his son was first in line to a recording contract (big mistake). I suppose dear-old-dad wanted them to be the next Sonny & Cher, but, alas, it was not meant to be. “Do it Again a Little Bit Slower” (1967) reached #18 in the US, but proved to be their only whiff of success.

 

 

The duo split up shortly thereafter, and poor Jon tried to continue his music career resulting in one failure after another. This ultimately contributed to his mental breakdown and he was checked into Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas, Texas. This is where fact and fiction intermingle, but the story goes that Jon starting getting it on with a psychiatric nurse. After he was released, they moved in together and started a new chapter in Jon’s life. Unfortunately, that new chapter is entitled “The Prison Years” because Jon murdered her.

.. so, there’s that information. Onward to the next murder.

 

ERICK & BEVERLY MASSEGEE ‎– AMEN! (1974)

massegee album Dial M for Music: 4 Records And Their Tales of Murder

 

This Beverly Massegee LP has become something of an all-star in the world of bad album covers, but the biggest oddity surrounding this album is not the strangeness of the record, but Beverly herself. Many believe she is actually the Babushka Lady – the woman who filmed JFK up close at the very moment he was assassinated!

Beverly Oliver (maiden name) was once a friend of Jack Ruby, the man who shot Lee Harvey Oswald. Beverly was a singer (and possibly a stripper) at Ruby’s Carousel Club and the adjacent Colony Club. According to her own account, Beverly claims she accompanied Jack Ruby to New Orleans where she met Mafia bosses and was introduced to Lee Harvey Oswald, a friend of Ruby’s (!).

Beverly states that she was the infamous and mysterious Babushka Lady, the closest witnesses to the fatal shot that killed President Kennedy. Further, she claims that she filmed the event, but three days later two men who identified themselves as government agents confiscated her film and never returned it. Here’s an old video of Beverly breaking it down for us…

 

 

Unfortunately, much of this is considered nonsense by JFK assassination “experts”. However, it should be noted that Beverly married a pastor and found Jesus, which means all of this must be true, right?

 

CLAUDINE LONGET – THE LOOK OF LOVE (1967)

 

3715272648 b596d77180 o Dial M for Music: 4 Records And Their Tales of Murder

 

Claudine’s early years read like a fairy tale. She was a Vegas showgirl working for Barbara Walters’ father. One day, her car breaks down and she’s picked up by none other than Andy Williams. Marriage, wealth, a family, a recording contract, and an acting career soon followed. It would seem. Claudine Longet had everything a woman could ever want.

The couple were even good friends with Bobby Kennedy. In fact, they were supposed to go to a disco with him the night he was killed. Senator Kennedy told Andy and Claudine that he would make a “little hand gesture” at the end of his televised primary victory speech to let them know he could make it to the disco. The couple watched Kennedy’s speech from their Bel Air home, and when the gesture was made the two hopped out of bed to get ready to head to the disco…. then they heard the shots ring out. Three days later, Andy was singing at his friend’s funeral. The couple would name their 3rd child “Bobby”.

 

AndyWilliamsWife Dial M for Music: 4 Records And Their Tales of Murder

 

That was 1968…. by 1970 they were legally separated. Claudine and the three kids moved in with the famous Olympic skier, “Spider” Sabich. He was handsome, talented, and had become quite a popular figure. Robert Redford even played him in a movie (Downhill Racer). But this is where the fairy tale ends. The relationship became tumultuous and in 1975, Spider was fatally shot in the abdomen by Claudine.

Claudine claimed the gun discharged accidentally, and was charged with only negligent homicide. The fact that she was high on cocaine never made it into the trial, nor was the fact that their relationship had become hostile. Subsequently, Claudine spent only 30 days in jail.

 

 

THE OHIO PLAYERS – HONEY (1975)

 

honey Dial M for Music: 4 Records And Their Tales of Murder

 

The 70s funk band, The Ohio Players, weren’t exactly known for their family-friendly album covers. Their most notorious is the Honey album which featured a completely naked model (visible when you fold open the cover) shown from the side on the outside cover, and in a much more explicit position in the interior. Legend goes that this girl was brutally murdered and her screams can be heard in their song “Love Rollercoaster”.

 

 

 

Of course, urban legend debunkers have proved this to be complete bullshit. However, it’s a lot more fun to speculate, and you never really know, do you? As to exactly how she was killed and how the screams ever got recorded depends on who’s telling the story. One thing is for certain, the scream sounds completely out of place. It’s blood curdling – not something you’d expect to hear in the background of a lively funk song. The cherry-on-top to this urban legend is that the photography for the album cover was conducted by Richard Fegley, who had also photographed Sharon Tate (insert dramatic music)

One variation of the story goes like this:

The Ohio Players spot a runaway on the street corner and use her for on their album Honey. The album cover depicts the model nude and kneeling in glass while drizzling honey all over herself. The glass was actually fiberglass, and when it mixed with the honey caused the fiberglass to be bonded to the girl’s legs. She tried tearing it off of her legs, but only succeeded in tearing the skin off. She runs into the studio where the band was recording “Love Rollercoaster”. She was screaming at them, claiming she would sue them for everything they were worth. The band’s manager then dragged her outside the studio, and murdered her. Her screaming was audible, even outside the studio, and the band left the sound there as “a sick tribute”.

Sure, this is obviously bologna, but it’s a lot more interesting the much more probable claim that the screams are by the band’s bassist and the model is Ester Cordet. Cordet was a stewardess at the time and the October 1974 Playmate of the Month. Today, she is happily married to a smarmy motivational speaker and self-help author, Robert Ringer. Yuck. Sometimes reality is such a bummer.

Posted: 9th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Vital History of Captain America at the Movies and on TV

Scan0164 228x300 A Vital History of Captain America at the Movies and on TV

 

WITH Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) shattering box office records this weekend, it is an opportune time to recall that this iconic Marvel superhero — and symbol of non-ironic Americana — has not always been treated very well by Hollywood.

In particular, the 1970s and 1980s proved a difficult span for the patriotic Cap, who had made a career in his Marvel comic-book of smashing Nazis and communists.

 

captainamerica11 300x207 A Vital History of Captain America at the Movies and on TV

 

But first, the 1944 Republic serial, Captain America, created a new character and origin for the superhero.

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Posted: 9th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles ‘The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers’

bifurcated girls 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

 

IN 1903, The Commonwealth Publishing Company of New York City’s magazine Vanity Fair (no, another one; this one ran from February 1902 to April 1904) produced the article on The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers.

 

bifurcated girls 1 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

Dian Hansen notes inHistory of Men’s Magazines:

While France had a well-established men’s magazine industry by 1900, America was just showing its ankles in 1903. A magazine called Vanity Fair (unrelated to the current incarnation) was the raciest thing around, and rooming house loozies the hotties of the time. In this New York, tabloid girls who drank like men might strip down to their petticoats and fall into bed together, exposing their corset cover and stockings to peeping male boarders. The famously loose morals of stage actresses made them popular subjects for these shenanigans, but the biggest thrill of all was bifurcation. “What?” one may well ask. Bifurcation, meaning “split in two”, referred to the contours of a woman’s legs revealed by her donning men’s trousers. Bifurcation was a regular and very popular feature in Vanity Fair, it’s popularity leading to Vanity Fair’s Bifurcated Girls.

bifurcated girls 2 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

bifurcated girls 3 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

bifurcated girls 4 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

bifurcated girls 5 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

bifurcated girls 6 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

bifurcated girls 7 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

bifurcated girls 8 1903: Girlie Mag Vanity Fair Profiles The Bifurcated Girls: Gay Girls In Trousers

PublicDomain

Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Venture Capital Fails Spectacularly: The Bessemer Venture Partners Story

Bessemer Venture Partners When Venture Capital Fails Spectacularly: The Bessemer Venture Partners Story

WE’VE all heard about the titans of the silicon Valley venture capital industry. One day they put 30 cents into the stock of some company enabling people to show cat photos to each other and then three weeks later they’re running off with $10 billion from the IPO.

All most, most, annoying.

However, there’s one company out there that has been doing this venture capital stuff for over a century now. And they’ve made some quite glorious suck ups. No, not in what Bessemer Venture Partners did invest in, rather in what they didn’t. And they’re self-confident enough to tell us what they did fail to invest in too.

On investing in e-Bay:

“Stamps? Coins? Comic books? You’ve GOT to be kidding,” thought David Cowan. “No-brainer pass.”

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Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Key Posts, Money, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Eegah! 10 Amazingly Bad Movie Titles

WHAT’S the worst movie title of all time? Freddy Got Fingered (2001) and Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot (1992) are often cited as contenders. One that nearly earned a victory for worst is Denzel Washington’s The Great Debaters (2007) – an immensely serious film which very nearly is The Master Debaters. Close but no cigar. The unpronounceable film The Rural Juror could have walked away with an easy victory. Alas, it’s a fictitious film from the TV show 30 Rock. Disqualified.

Perhaps, it’s best to look back a few decades. It may not be possible to scientifically lay out the all-time worst, but we can certainly make like Freddy and Finger a few candidates.

 

10. Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)

 

children shouldnt play with dead things xlg Eegah! 10 Amazingly Bad Movie Titles

 

Sometimes a title is just trying to be get our attention by its ridiculousness [i.e. I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990). For low budget films without a lot of financial resources for promotion, the best way to lure audiences is via a sensational title. So, I understand the rationale, and am sure it served its purpose; however, the title is still horrible. Functional, but horrible.

 

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Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Peaches Geldof: An Untimely Death Was Her Tabloid Destiny

peaches geldof dead Peaches Geldof: An Untimely Death Was Her Tabloid Destiny

 

WHEN police announced that Peaches Geldof had died the newspapers rushed to shout “first”. Her death at 25 is a shocks. To her husband and two young children it is a tragedy. To the media it’s a result.

The celebrity death is heralded by people on social media shouting “FIRSTS!” and the “ker-ching” of big media’s cash register. Who can be first to dash out a few hundred words of speculation veering between the mawkish an the insulting about the dead person they never knew?

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Posted: 8th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


5 Highly Troubling Vintage Adverts

HERE is some free advice for up-and-coming marketing execs: Adverts should not make consumers feel nauseous or deeply uncomfortable. Nor should they cause consumers to experience waking nightmares or abdominal pain. You wouldn’t think this sort of instruction would be necessary, but here are five examples which demonstrate that it is. Please take notes.

 

1. SEXUALLY AROUSED STUFFED TOYS PROMOTE BEAR HOSIERY 

pervert teddy bears 5 Highly Troubling Vintage Adverts

 

“What a treat to stocking those legs. Wish I were a man,” says the first bear. I’m not sure how I feel about stuffed animals ogling over a woman’s legs. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer Teddy Bears without a sexual appetite.

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Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The ‘Pacific Coast Nimrod’ Seth Kinman And His Snapping Grizzly Bear Chairs Fit For Presidents

grizzly bear chair The Pacific Coast Nimrod Seth Kinman And His Snapping Grizzly Bear Chairs Fit For Presidents

 

IN 1865,  Seth Kinman (1815-1888), the California Hunter and Trapper, gave US President Andrew Johnson a GRIZZLY-BAR CHAIR.

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Posted: 6th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Boys’ Fiction: Ripping Yarns From The Victorian and Edwardian Heyday of Public School Fiction

AT last, a welcome repeat of Michael Palin and Terry Jones’s Ripping Yarns – post-Python parodies of all things public school and derring-do.

 

Boys110 Boys Fiction: Ripping Yarns From The Victorian and Edwardian Heyday of Public School Fiction

 

The series is reflected upon, and its inspiration investigated, in this highly enjoyable BBC documentary

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Posted: 6th, April 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mic Wright’s Remotely Furious: A Harsh Handbrake Turn – From How I Met You Mother To How Tim Hetherington Lost His Life

PA 13757805 Mic Wrights Remotely Furious: A Harsh Handbrake Turn   From How I Met You Mother To How Tim Hetherington Lost His Life

Photojournalist Tim Hetherington, center, stands with other photographers outside the entrance to the hospital in Ajdabiya, Libya Sunday, April 10, 2011. Hetherington was killed in Misrata, Libya Wednesday, April 20, 2011 while covering battles between Libyan rebels and government forces. (AP Photo/Ben Curtis) 

 

I’VE been thinking about bad endings this week; one in fiction and one, dreadfully, tragically real. Pulling together the finale of How I Met Your Mother, which used a by-no-means unexpected passing to tie up loose ends, and the real death of Tim Hetherington, the astounding documentary photographer whose life is the subject of Which Way Is The Front Line From Here?, in one TV column may seem crass. It probably is. But that’s how TV works, mashing together different stories, shifting tone more awkwardly than a local radio DJ.

If you were engaged in idle channel surfing, Sebastian Junger’s film on the life and death of Hetherington, his friend and collaborator on the Academy Award-nominated Restrepo, would have pulled you up short. Named after a casual remark made by documentary photographer as he and a group of other journalists made their way into the Libyan town of Misrata, the film paints a picture of a man who had to document the world and its most dangerous stories even when he knew he should stop.

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Posted: 4th, April 2014 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chicks Dig Accordions! Vintage Vinyl and Squeezebox Groupies

accordion groupie Chicks Dig Accordions! Vintage Vinyl and Squeezebox Groupies

 

TO HELL with the electric guitar.  That may attract a flock of dirty groupies, but the real chick magnet is the accordion.  Sure, it has a reputation as being even less sexy than a French horn, but don’t believe the hype.  A look at this stack of old accordion LPs, and you’ll quickly see that the instrument of desire isn’t the guitar, drums or microphone, it’s the mad love machine called The Accordion.

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Posted: 4th, April 2014 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


5 Sci-Fi TV Series Scuttled by Second Season Changes

badchanges11 300x213 5 Sci Fi TV Series Scuttled by Second Season Changes

WE might accept as axiomatic the belief that patience is a virtue. However, over the decades, several notable and even celebrated science fiction TV series have failed to live up to this ideal.

Instead of demonstrating patience and prudence, their makers have instead demonstrated radical impatience, and — after promising first season sorties — instituted sweeping changes that, in some cases, threw away the baby with the bath water.

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Posted: 3rd, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


1978-1995: When Theodore John Kaczynski Was The Heroic Unabomber

ON May 3 1996, Theodore John Kaczynski, 53, had his mug shot taken by7 the Lewis and Clark County Jail in Helena, Montana. Kaczynski had been taken into custody at his mountain cabin north of Helena as a suspect in the Unabomber bombing spree.

 

PA 13798716 1 1978 1995: When Theodore John Kaczynski Was The Heroic Unabomber

 

 

The man called the “Unabomber” had killed three people and maimed 23 others with parcel bombs. His first known device exploded in 1978 and the last, killing California Forestry Association president Gilbert Murray. His campaign had continued to his most recent bomb in 1995. His final bombs was his 16th.

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Posted: 3rd, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Before They Went Solo: Early Bands Of Bowie, Elton And Others

ATTila Before They Went Solo: Early Bands Of Bowie, Elton And Others

Billy Joel’s hard rock duo – Attila

 

MUSICIANS like Billy Joel and Elton John didn’t start out as solo acts. Like nearly all solo pop stars, they began as just another member of a band. I thought it would be interesting to take a look at musicians who we primarily identify as being solo acts and see what bands they were in before venturing out on their own and making it big.

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Posted: 3rd, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


5 Sci-Fi Movies That Didn’t Deserve the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Treatment

april6 300x198 5 Sci Fi Movies That Didnt Deserve the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Treatment

 

TO the delight of virtually everyone, the late, great Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988 – 1999) seems to be experiencing something of a pop culture resurgence these days.

April 1st  of this year saw former Mystery Science Theater 3000 stars Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy return to top form in National Geographic’s Total Riff-Off, and the cable network Retro TV recently announced that it will begin airing MST-3K reruns starting July 5, 2014.

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Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


10 Revolting Packaged Foods That Taste Of Regret

STROLLING down Memory Lane on the way to Anorak Towers, we came across an old advertisement for Spangles – the sweet signifier of choice for lazy peddlers of nostalgia.

But instead of invoking it alongside Chopper bicycles and Spacehoppers, it invoked an earlier, less innocent time, when germs were everywhere, and the role of confectionary packaging wasn’t simply to announce the Old English delights within, but to keep dirt out. ALL dirt. Yes, that includes you, Foreign Dirt, coming over year and contaminating our indigenous flavours.

 

image2 10 Revolting Packaged Foods That Taste Of Regret

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Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

feminists Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

THEY say not to judge a book by its cover, but I think it’s pretty safe to say all of these books are horrible without ever turning a page.  That being said, it’s sometimes fun to check out some good old fashioned paperback trash  – so let’s have a look.

 

NAKED BRUNCH

 

naked brunch Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

Perhaps this is a prequel to the William Burrough’s classic, Naked Lunch.  I suggest, then, a third volume called Naked Supper and make it a trilogy.

 

 

THE MAN WHO SAID NO

 

oxymoron Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

You mean they actually found the guy who said no to sex?  I thought it was just an urban legend……. Oh, wait…. I’ve just been informed it’s a false alarm.  He didn’t say “no”; he was merely clearing his throat.  It’s all been a big mistake.  False alarm.

 

RONALD REAGAN: A MAN TRUE TO HIS WORD

 

reagan Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

My favorite part of Ronald Reagan: A Man True To His Word is when the president sells arms to Iran then uses the cash to fund the Nicaraguan rebels.  Don’t miss the exciting climax when he completely denies it.

 

 

INCLUDED OUT

included out Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

“Suspecting Linnie’s affairs with the others, Chris’ vanity couldn’t accept the thought of being included out because of his age.”

I think the word they’re looking for is “excluded”.  Somebody get Mary S. Gooch a dictionary pronto.

 

 

I WAS A TEEN-AGE DWARF

dwarf Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

No offense to those short of stature, but this title puts the vertically challenged on par with being a werewolf or Frankenstein.  (Note: This is a Dobie Gillis novel, so it was actually pretty popular in its day.)

 

 

KISS MY FIST!

 

fist Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

Damn! Those hardboiled pulp fiction novels could get to be pretty brutal, but this is extreme.  Just be glad I didn’t show you the back cover where he karate chops a kitten.

 

 

SWEET DADDY: THE STORY OF A PIMP

 

story of a pimp Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

I think there’s been a mistake.  The title should read something like: Sweet Daddy: The Story of a Tax Attorney.  I’m no authority on pimps, but I think they could have chosen a guy who looks a lot more “pimp like”.

 

 

BURT REYNOLDS HOT LINE: THE LETTERS I GET AND WRITE!

 

reynolds Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

I doubt Burt even noticed the naked woman attached to his backside. In the 1970s, nude females collected on Burt’s body like barnacles. Lucky bastard.

 

 

COUCH OF DESIRE

 

couch Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

Forget 50 Shades of Grey, I recommend Couch of Desire (truthfully, it’s probably written better). But if the eroticism is just too extreme for your tastes, I suggest the much lighter read, Beanbag Chair of Friendship.

 

 

GOOD NIGHT SWEET DYKE

 

dyke Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

A perfect end to our reading list of shame.  Good night, dear reader.

Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Spoonfuls of Horror: The Worst Breakfast Cereals Of All Time

tumblr lqcx4blRHc1qkzq2g Spoonfuls of Horror: The Worst Breakfast Cereals Of All Time

 

THE worst cereal of all time, for me, has always been Grape-Nuts (AKA aquarium gravel). Yet, as I grew older, I actually came to like these granular pellets which look like they belong at the bottom of a fish tank. Tastes evolve.

I say this to underscore the fact that this list is purely subjective. Yet, it’s still fun to poke through the vast arrays of breakfast cereals from years past and single out the worst of the worst. I apologize up front if I am besmirching your cherished childhood favorite, but it simply must be done.   And so here they are – the definitive list of the absolute worst breakfast cereals of all time (in no particular order). Enjoy.

 

1. Triple Snack (1963)

I’m not sure about the idea of roasted peanuts in cereal. Almonds are fine, but you start tossing roasted peanuts into the mix, and things get weird.

 

2. Pink Panther Flakes (1973)

The corn flakes were bubblegum colored, which is bad enough, but the cereal became notorious for rapidly losing its color. Almost as soon as the milk hit the flakes, the bubblegum color ran off, leaving behind soggy albino flakes. Your breakfast started so full of promise, with the brilliant pink hue signaling good tidings ahead. Fast forward a few seconds, and you’re eating your soggy albino flakes in quiet disappointment.

 

3. Donkey Kong (1982)

The taste was not bad; it was the texture that presented problems. Many will recall the “barrels’ scraped the roof of your mouth like a mouthful of broken glass. To be fair, after repeated spoonfuls, your throat and mouth would swell and become inflamed enough to no longer feel the sharp pain. So, enjoying the cereal wasn’t entirely impossible.

 

4. Punch Crunch

“Little pink rings with a big pink flavor just like fruit punch… a dandy part of a nutritious breakfast.”

At what stage of desperation do you have to be in to attempt a punch flavored cereal? Was Captain Crunch suffering from scurvy when he concocted this vitamin C inspired cereal? It would seem to be the only rational explanation.

 

5. Sir Grapefellow (1972)

There are just certain flavors that don’t belong in a cold milk cereal. Thus, as much as we may happen to like bacon and pizza, it doesn’t mean they will make for good cereal flavorings. Someone should have told General Mills that grapes fall into that same category.

 

 

6. Corn Flakes with Instant Bananas (1964)

 

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This one was discontinued in ’66 due to problems with the preservation and freeze drying of the bananas. Apparently, Kellog’s hadn’t yet perfected the fancy carcinogenic preservatives and dyes we all take for granted today. Upon the addition of milk, the “bananas” turned into shriveled bits of brown before your very eyes. Had the box prepared consumers and perhaps been labeled “Corn Flakes with Shriveled Bits of Brown” instead, things might’ve been different.

 

 

7. Smurf Berry Crunch

Aside from the fact that many recall a distinct iodide smell, the primary problem was what happened after it was consumed. Evidently, Smurf Berry Crunch turned your poop a brilliant purple. While that may have been a “plus” to many consumers; for most, violet poop was an unwanted side effect.

 

 

8. Norman (1971)

 

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Very little information remains beyond first-hand accounts. Most will tell you that this BUTTER flavored cereal was the most revolting thing they’ve ever eaten. It basically amounted to small crunchy butter flavored balls which in no way went nicely with cold milk. Those unfortunate enough to have experienced this breakfast horror tell the story as one would recount a grisly battle – with hushed somber tones, a vacant stare, and an expression that belies the tragedy of it all. Our deepest respect to the poor souls who took a spoonful of Norman to their lips and lived to tell the tale.

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David Hasselhoff Sells Huge Statue Of Himself Dressed As A Lifeguard (Photos)

david hasselhoff statue 1 David Hasselhoff Sells Huge Statue Of Himself Dressed As A Lifeguard (Photos)

 

DAVID Hasselhoff is so rock and roll. And now you can roll him into your room and rock him gentle as you straddle his back and surf along to his greatest hits as a woman in red tosses salty water in your face. You see, David Hasselhoff is selling a David Hasselhoff statue he owns at a Beverly Hills auction

 

This is the Hoff who, when appearing in panto with dancing Louis Spence gave him the gifts of “A David Hasselhoff bag, Hasselhoff CD, Hasselhoff calendar and signed Hasselhoff picture” for Christmas.  This is the Hoff, the man who brought down the old fault line of Europe by standing on the Berlin Wall dressed in a suit of lightbulbs, a performance of which he said: “I went to the Checkpoint Charlie museum a few years ago. There was nothing of me, and I was disappointed. Look at all these people celebrating! What about me? I was there!”

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Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Miracle Appliances And The Desperate 1970s Women That Loved Them

WHEN mankind emerged from the primordial ooze that was that was the 1940s, homes began a rapid upgrade.  The Western nations’ economies grew in tandem with technology, and the benefits began to enter the home in the form of appliances that promised to transform the household.  Now you could own a toaster  – oh, the possibilities!

 

vintage appliance 5 Miracle Appliances And The Desperate 1970s Women That Loved Them

 

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Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Technology, The Consumer | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch The Blight: A Wonderful Documentary On Glasgow’s Barrowfield Gang Lands In 1982

Screen shot 2014 03 30 at 14.27.23 Watch The Blight: A Wonderful Documentary On Glasgows Barrowfield Gang Lands In 1982

 

GLASGOW has a tough reputation.  In 1982, the BBC documentary department went on safari in Glasgow, reporting on the city’s gangs.

The show focused on the Barrowfield is an area of east Glasgow in Camlachie, close to Celtic Park, home of Celtic Football Club.

The study on urban decay and life was split in four parts:

BLIGHT, WORK, THE SCHEME and THE BOND.

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Posted: 30th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Darren Gough’s Greatest Moment on TalkSPORT: ‘We H’all Live In A Yeller Sumbarine’

DARREN Gough was once a cricketer with Yorkshire and England.

 

PA 1003862 Darren Goughs Greatest Moment on TalkSPORT: We Hall Live In A Yeller Sumbarine

 

Gough was both talented and likeable. The top English bowler of his generation retired from professional cricket. And Barnsley’s favourite Tory  hit even greater heights.

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Posted: 28th, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s

WITH nearly 3 million films in their database, it’s quite a dubious accomplishment to be ranked in IMDb’s Bottom 100. That’s the bottom of a very deep barrel – the bottom 0.003% in fact. I’d love to explore all the members of this exclusive club; but, in the interest of time we’ll start with the 1960s.

The 2000s are the most represented decade with over 40 films in the Bottom 100. At the moment there are 12 from the Sixties: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961), The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964) and these 9 truly awful films (proceed at your own risk):

 

Monstrosity (1963) AKA The Atomic Brain
IMDb rating = 2.5

 

monstrosity poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s

An elderly woman hires a mad scientist to transplant her brain into that of a nubile young au pair girl. Somehow this is done without surgery using only the mysteries of radiation. The only way this film could get any worse would be if it starred Adam Sandler.

“Mrs. March had not realized her future body had such a satisfactory shape. Perhaps not as spectacular as the English girl but in excellent taste. She couldn’t help being amused. The stupid girl was not only modeling Mrs. March’s future wardrobe but Mrs. March’s future body: so firm, so nicely round in places men like.”

As luck would have it, some of these films have fallen into public domain, and now you can watch the whole thing for free (the only price you’ll pay is your sanity).

 

 

 

Monster a-Go Go (1965)
IMDb rating = 2.5

 

monster a go go poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
The movie begins with the narration: “What you are about to see may not even be possible, within the narrow limits of human understanding.” Oh, how painfully true.

This is the only film in this entire list that defies description because there is literally no plot. It is one random scene after another, with main characters inexplicably leaving midway through the film never to return, and with a twist ending that even M. Night Shyamalan would be ashamed of.

 

 

 

The Starfighters (1964)
IMDb rating = 2.4

 

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There’s a miserable little plot in here somewhere, but this film is basically just stock footage of aircraft lazily pieced together. In fact, there are several – I repeat, SEVERAL – scenes of airplanes refueling… in real time, without edit. It may not have earned the honor of being IMDb’s absolute worst, but it is likely the most boring film in the entire database. When a plane refueling is the highlight of your film, there’s a problem.

For wondrous refueling footage, watch the clip below, but beware of the mind-numbingly infectious “Doo Wah” background music.

 

 

 

Body in the Web (1960) AKA Horrors of Spider Island
IMDb rating = 2.3

 

horrors of spider island poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s

 

“There’s absolutely no reason yet to fear the worst. Until now, we only know that the plane caught fire and we’ve lost radio contact.”

I appreciate his optimism, but that seems like bad news. Indeed, the plane crashes and a troupe of beautiful dancers are stranded on a deserted island. Their routine of skinny-dipping and devising new skimpy outfits is interrupted when a radioactive spider bites their manager and turns him into the dumbest looking monster ever. Recommended for the vision and hearing impaired only.

 

 

 

Eegah (1962)
IMDb rating = 2.1

 

eegah poster 01 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
There’s a serious debate in the film community about whether Arch Hall, Jr. is the worst male lead in the history of cinema. In other words, of the approximately 3,000,000 films in IMDb, the esteemed Arch may officially be counted as the absolute worst. I think Crow from Mystery Science Theater 3000 said it best: “I’ve figured it out. He’s a cyst with teeth and hair.”

 

 

 

Girl in Gold Boots (1968)
IMDb rating = 2.1

 

Girl in Gold Boots 602 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
A girl with a more than passing resemblance to Angelina Jolie goes from waitress to center-stage go-go dancer. Think Showgirls (1995), but with no gratuitous nudity to redeem it. To quote a reviewer on IMDb: ‘This movie is a big, steaming pile of continuity errors and bad acting.” Truer words were never said.

 

 

 

The Wild World of Batwoman (1966)
IMDb rating = 2.1

 

Batwoman 1966 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
The IMDb synopsis pretty much covers it:

A busty Batwoman enlists her beauteous bevy of Batgirls (when they are not dancing the jerk) to help her regain a mad scientist’s invention (an atom bomb made out of a hearing aid) before a costumed ne’er-do-well, Rat Fink, can glom onto it for his own purposes.

 

 

 

Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)
IMDb rating = 2.0

 

Invasion of the Neptune Men 1961 Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
Again,IMDb explains it best:

A bunch of kids who look like rejects from the Japanese version of ‘Lord of the Flies’ run around while aliens (from Neptune, presumably) blow up stock footage, including a building with a giant mural of Adolf Hitler. After much technobabble and shots of radar displays, they are defeated by a wispy bachelor named Space Chief who has a wobbly flying car.

 

 

 

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
IMDb rating = 1.9

 

SC 03 ManosRestoration PremiereAd Exploring the IMDb Bottom 100: The Worst of The 1960s
A family gets lost and winds up staying with this creepy midget, Torgo, and his caped master who worships the deity Manos. Like most people who’ve seen this film, I came by it via Mystery Science Theater 3000. The plot itself is terrible, but what makes this rock bottom is an almost preternaturally awful execution.

 

Posted: 28th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0