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ALEX Salmond is the latest politician to succumb to the temptation to pose in public with a football, and, with the sad inevitability of England conceding an injury-time winner, he is the latest to be reminded that the effects are rarely edifying.
The SNP leader was not in fact smacked in the face by a stray shot. He was playing head tennis with Scotland under-21 midfielder Kenny McLean.
IT’S at least an interesting entry for that accolade at least, the worst drug smugglers in the world.
So, two Brits decide to try their luck smuggling a tonne and a half of hashish from Morocco into the Algarve. Sounds like a plan: Morocco’s not that far away, the Rif and such places are hotbeds of cannabis production (they’re not just the right sort of climate, they’re also pretty lawless even today). As such the drug is cheap as chips there.
SPURS have secured the services of international nude model Mauricio Pochettino from Southampton.
Paul Jiggins tells his Sun readers how unimpressed he is with the appointment. And Jiggins knows Spurs. This is the man, after all, who write in the summer of 2013:
GARETH BALE looks set to stay at Spurs for the coming season — after Real Madrid conceded defeat in the battle to sign him.
After Bale’s mega-money move to Real, an undaunted Jiggins now tells Sun readers:
Levy tells Pochettino: Turn Spurs into Saints (What, get ‘em to finish eighth, Daniel?)
Bit sarcastic, no? He then attacks the Spurs announcement:
They are hardly going to write: “We’ve brought in a manager nobody had ever heard of until 18 months ago from a club that was in League One a few years ago.”
IT’S RARE for a product’s logo or package design to stay constant over the years. More often than not, they get a makeover every few years to keep up with the tastes of the times.
Comparing soda cans from decades past to the present, it’s immediately apparent that we no longer prefer simple elegant designs… that we prefer busy, hastily thrown together crap designs instead.
RECENTLY, women’s rights have been shoved to the forefront of the debate, thanks to a number of dreadful events. It has been difficult for some men to read the #YesToWomen hashtag, which has shown just how unsettling life can be for women.
While most men aren’t to blame for all that befalls women, most things that befall our female buddies is at the hands of men.
And so, to Japan, where two members of hugely popular Japanese pop group AKB48 were left hospitalised after a fan attacked them with a saw.
HUNTER S Thompson’s daily routine:
CAN the Daily Star’s weather forecasts be relied on? Yes, They can be relied on to be wrong:
Meanwhile…in the Star’s sisters organs, the Daily Express, front-page weather forecasts are, as ever, available by pressing f9 on your journalisbot keyboards:
SO, we think there should be less stuff wasted. Sounds like a plan: so, therefore we will fine people who waste less. This is, well, this is monstrously stupid, isn’t it? But it is what the European Union is going to do to Britain. We now waste less paper and glass than we used to. Therefore we are going to be fined.
Recycling rates will fall for the first time in over 10 years due to “green fatigue” caused by councils imposing numerous confusing bins on households, one of the country’s biggest bin collectors has predicted.
The fall will make it almost certain that Britain will miss tough EU targets of recycling half of all household waste by 2020.
A combination of “green fatigue”, declining glass usage, and local authority budget cuts are also likely to have contributed to the fall, which risks the UK having to pay millions of pounds in fines.
THE INTERNET has created its own slang, saturated with efficient abbreviations and a constantly evolving jargon that only insiders know. As novel as this seems, just a few decades ago there was another trendy lingo sprung from a new technology: CB Slang.
Citizen’s Band radio had been around since the 1950s, but you had to be licensed and had to use a registered call sign. However, once the CB became widely used on the interstates throughout the US, all rules were thrown out the window. Truckers started making up their own handles and things got interesting.
IN 1985, the Press Association presented the future of journalism.
The pencil and paper remain the most reliable tools in a journalist’s possession.
Mods, Rockers, Teds, Irish, Skinheads, Pikeys, Blacks And Jews: The People Banned From Anywhere Decent People Gather
FIFTY years ago, mods and rockers enjoyed the bank holiday weekend by fighting pitched battles at the seaside.
The skirmishes led to public vilification, and sociologists coined the phrase ‘moral panic’ to sum up the hysteria surrounding these modern delinquent ‘folk devils’.
LET’S play Spot The Victim. This story is bade din the USA, so things will get complicated.
In September 2013, Toni Christina Jenkins was working tables a Tennessee’s Red Lobster.
QPR V Chelsea on February 15 1970:
A group of youths outside Loftus Road, the Queens Park Rangers football ground in London, with their tickets for the match against Chelsea.
THE Mirror leads with news that the Cheeki Rafiki has been found. It even suggests that it found it. Not too long ago the world was scouring satellite images for signs of Malaysia Airlines flight MH370. Now we’re looking for a boat.
The Mirror tells readers: “The lifeboats are gone”:
The hull of lost yacht Cheeki Rafiki was found last night – but there was no sign of the four missing sailors.
A US Navy diver swam out to wreckage in the middle of the Atlantic and identified the name on the back of the boat.
But two life rafts were gone – supporting hopes of the sailors’ families that the men had managed to scramble into them before the yacht sank.
SO says one of the more conservative churchmen of the Balkans, that Conchita Wurst, the bearded bloke in a dress who won the Eurovision song contest, caused the Balkan Floods that have forced 150,000 people from their homes. Quite remarkable what God gets pissed off about really, isn’t it?
In more detail the claim is being made by the Montenegrin Patriarch, that the floods are not a coincidence. Oooh, no, it is a warning from God that people should not join the dark side. Although quite what’s so dark about a bearded drag queen isn’t explained in any detail:
Conchita Wurst is responsible for flooding that left over 50 people dead earlier this month, church leaders in the Balkans have claimed.
The Austrian drag artist, whose real name is Thomas Neuwirth, seized international attention after winning Eurovision 2014 with his hit Rise Like a Phoenix.
However, several church leaders have now claimed the recent devastating flooding across the Balkans, which was the worst in a century and left over 50 people dead, was “divine punishment” for Conchita’s victory.
“This [flood] is not a coincidence, but a warning,” Patriarch Amfilohije of Montenegro said, according to e.novine.com. “God sent the rains as a reminder that people should not join the wild side.”
HOW do you deal with intolerance? How do you face down someone who won’t listen and doesn’t want anyone else to either? How do you deal with censorship and enemies of free speech? With the reverse whistle:
IF you ever start to get depressed by the current TV offerings, take a look at the comedies airing in the States in decades past. Here are 15 adverts from TV Guide which will have you counting your blessings.
I’ll admit, sometimes I’m not in the mood for quality storylines and character development. There are days where I’ll pass on Mad Men and Game of Thrones in favor of something mindless. But even in those dark hours, I will never – I repeat, NEVER – opt for Gary Coleman with a Mr. T haircut. This is where my proverbial line in the sand is drawn.
WILLIAM Shakespeare once wrote that “the valiant taste of death but once,” while cowards die “many times” before their actual demise.
Audiences of cult TV classics might also be said to die many times too, especially if they watch and re-watch beloved characters die in their favorite genre programming.
Over the years, a number of beloved series characters have been unceremoniously offed by series writers, only to leave grieving audiences in shock at their passing.
THERE’S a very stupid piece of labour activism going on over in the US. It’s a series of strikes and demonstrations against McDonald’s over the pay that the people working in the stores receive. The reason it’s such a silly set of demos and strikes is simply that McDonald’s doesn’t actually employ the workers. So why shout at the people who can’t change the situation?
More than 100 demonstrators seeking better pay for McDonald’s workers were arrested as protesters swarmed the fast-food chain’s corporate campus near Chicago demanding a minimum wage of $15 (£8.88) an hour and the right to unionise.
The protest against McDonald’s Corp, the world’s biggest restaurant operator by revenue, came a day before a shareholder vote on executive pay, including that of Chief Executive Don Thompson, who earned total compensation of $9.5 million (£5.62 million) in 2013.
JOINING the gun law debate, we turn to events in Durham, NC, where armed villains have robbed Pit Authentic Barbecue. That;s the store displaying the “No Weapons” sign in its window.ncgunblog.com reports:
The three pictograms [on the custom restaurant sign] are labeled “NC State Capitol,” “NC Legislative Building,” and “The Pit.” Above the pictograms it says, “No Weapons” and below, “No Concealed Firearms.”
This isn’t just a simple case of some unthinking restauranteur slapping up an anti-gun sign. This is a political statement. He’s very clearly saying “The Legislature bans guns in their workplace, why are they allowing them in mine.”
IN America, if you’re poor and you commit a crime, you go to prison. You need to pay your court fees. If you can’t pay your court fees, the State will lock you up. To maintain law and order, they will feed you, cloth you and house you. It’s a genius plan:
In Augusta, Ga., a judge sentenced Tom Barrett to 12 months after he stole a can of beer worth less than $2.
In Ionia, Mich., 19-year-old Kyle Dewitt caught a fish out of season; then a judge sentenced him to three days in jail.
In Grand Rapids, Mich., Stephen Papa, a homeless Iraq War veteran, spent 22 days in jail, not for what he calls his “embarrassing behavior” after he got drunk with friends and climbed into an abandoned building, but because he had only $25 the day he went to court.
The common thread in these cases, and scores more like them, is the jail time wasn’t punishment for the crime, but for the failure to pay the increasing fines and fees associated with the criminal justice system.
A yearlong NPR investigation found that the costs of the criminal justice system in the United States are paid increasingly by the defendants and offenders. It’s a practice that causes the poor to face harsher treatment than others who commit identical crimes and can afford to pay. Some judges and politicians fear the trend has gone too far.
A state-by-state survey conducted by NPR found that defendants are charged for many government services that were once free, including those that are constitutionally required….