Anorak

News | Anorak - Part 20

News Category

We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Daily Express Says An Area Five Times The Size Of Manchester Will Drown In Migrants

THE Daily Express and Daily Mail lead with news of migration.

 

Daily Mail 2 4 2014 Daily Express Says An Area Five Times The Size Of Manchester Will Drown In Migrants

 

The Express states:

 

Daily Express 2 4 2014 Daily Express Says An Area Five Times The Size Of Manchester Will Drown In Migrants

 

It’s always a “flood” of human misery in the Express.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: News | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Media Should Be ‘Controlled’ To Stop BNP Demolisher Nigel Farage Says Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

farage bnp Media Should Be Controlled To Stop BNP Demolisher Nigel Farage Says Yasmin Alibhai Brown

 

NIGEL Farage has achieved nothing in his time as Ukip leader other than promote himself. His mission is to gift the two biggest parties an identity and sense of purpose. His comments, such as a recent sense of pride in having “taken a third of the BNP’s support”, seducing those bigots “frustrated” and “upset” by their changing communities, serve to demolish the once feared BNP and make Ukip wholly unelectable.

If Farage leaves, perhaps under a scandal, what then for Ukip?

Nothing. The party will disintegrate.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: News, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

feminists Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

THEY say not to judge a book by its cover, but I think it’s pretty safe to say all of these books are horrible without ever turning a page.  That being said, it’s sometimes fun to check out some good old fashioned paperback trash  – so let’s have a look.

 

NAKED BRUNCH

 

naked brunch Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

Perhaps this is a prequel to the William Burrough’s classic, Naked Lunch.  I suggest, then, a third volume called Naked Supper and make it a trilogy.

 

 

THE MAN WHO SAID NO

 

oxymoron Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

You mean they actually found the guy who said no to sex?  I thought it was just an urban legend……. Oh, wait…. I’ve just been informed it’s a false alarm.  He didn’t say “no”; he was merely clearing his throat.  It’s all been a big mistake.  False alarm.

 

RONALD REAGAN: A MAN TRUE TO HIS WORD

 

reagan Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

My favorite part of Ronald Reagan: A Man True To His Word is when the president sells arms to Iran then uses the cash to fund the Nicaraguan rebels.  Don’t miss the exciting climax when he completely denies it.

 

 

INCLUDED OUT

included out Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

“Suspecting Linnie’s affairs with the others, Chris’ vanity couldn’t accept the thought of being included out because of his age.”

I think the word they’re looking for is “excluded”.  Somebody get Mary S. Gooch a dictionary pronto.

 

 

I WAS A TEEN-AGE DWARF

dwarf Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

No offense to those short of stature, but this title puts the vertically challenged on par with being a werewolf or Frankenstein.  (Note: This is a Dobie Gillis novel, so it was actually pretty popular in its day.)

 

 

KISS MY FIST!

 

fist Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

Damn! Those hardboiled pulp fiction novels could get to be pretty brutal, but this is extreme.  Just be glad I didn’t show you the back cover where he karate chops a kitten.

 

 

SWEET DADDY: THE STORY OF A PIMP

 

story of a pimp Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

I think there’s been a mistake.  The title should read something like: Sweet Daddy: The Story of a Tax Attorney.  I’m no authority on pimps, but I think they could have chosen a guy who looks a lot more “pimp like”.

 

 

BURT REYNOLDS HOT LINE: THE LETTERS I GET AND WRITE!

 

reynolds Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

I doubt Burt even noticed the naked woman attached to his backside. In the 1970s, nude females collected on Burt’s body like barnacles. Lucky bastard.

 

 

COUCH OF DESIRE

 

couch Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

Forget 50 Shades of Grey, I recommend Couch of Desire (truthfully, it’s probably written better). But if the eroticism is just too extreme for your tastes, I suggest the much lighter read, Beanbag Chair of Friendship.

 

 

GOOD NIGHT SWEET DYKE

 

dyke Regrettable Reads: A Stack Of Objectively Bad Vintage Books

 

A perfect end to our reading list of shame.  Good night, dear reader.

Posted: 2nd, April 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Starbucks Wrongly Apologises For Daubing A Pentogram and 666 On Woman’s Cup Of Satanic Coffee

TO Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where a Starbucks barista has used caramel sauce to draw a pentagram and 666 in a customer’s coffee.

 

starbucks 666 Starbucks Wrongly Apologises For Daubing A Pentogram and 666 On Womans Cup Of Satanic Coffee

 

It turns out that this is not on the menu. It wasn’t even asked for. Starbucks tells The Daily Adviser:

(Sunday) was the first we heard of it when she posted on our Facebook page,” Starbucks social media team spokesman Tom Kuhn told The Daily Advertiser. “We reached out to her through social media and apologized. We’re taking the complaint seriously. We’re not sure who served her or what kind of beverage it was. It looks kind of caramel-ish in the photos.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United And Frank Munn 1928: The Player’s Cigarette Card V The Player

FLASHBACK to September 1 1928: How much did Manchester United footballer Frank Munn resemble his Player’s cigarette card?

The card in 1929:

PA 508701 Manchester United And Frank Munn 1928: The Players Cigarette Card V The Player

 

Munn in 1929:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Flashback, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

FLASHBACK to November 14 1987:

West German Minister for Economic Cooperation, Hans Klein, right, dances with Elke Koska, wife and muse of German conceptual artist HA Schult, at the annual federal press ball on Friday, November 14, 1987 at the Beethoven Hall in Bonn, Germany.

PA 11615644 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

 

It’s cracking photo.

And it’s her we’re looking at, isn’t. It;’ what she hoped we’d do. Here’s Elke in 2009:

 

PA 7990184 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

 

 

This is her husband and his work:

 

PA 3350136 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

German performance artist HA Schult, right, holds a small model of the famous Cologne Cathedral, which he along with engineers and trainees of the Ford company rebuilds by assembling car fittings in Cologne, Germany, Tuesday, March 21, 2006. The sculpture, seen being assembled in background, will be auctioned to raise money for victims orphaned by the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The auction will be held in New York at the end of 2006.

 

PA 2353084 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

People view sculptures by the German environmental artist HA Schult at the Grand Place in Brussels, Friday April 1, 2005. The 1,000 different sculptures of ‘Trash People’ are intended to draw people’s attention to environmental problems. The exhibit opened on March 31 and runs until April 4, 2005. 

 

And here’s Hans Klein. We were looking at Elke’s gigantic hair and HA’s zany art. But it’s Hans who turns out to be the one to watch:

 

PA 11615596 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

 

 

PA 11707638 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

Former Munich Summer Olympics chief press officer, CSU member of parliament Hans “Johnny” Klein, smokes a cigarette on May 2, 1977 in Bonn, Germany.

PA 11615564 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

German government spokesman Hans Klein, dressed in carnival costume, left, smiles surrounded by dancers at a carnival party on February 21, 1990 at the Chancellery in Bonn, Germany.

 

If you spot a recurring theme, do say:

 

collage 1987: When Charming Hans Klein Danced With Big Haired Elke Koska

 

Hans Klein, the old charmer, died on December 2 1996.

A trained journalist, a diplomat, press officer of the Olympic Games in Munich, close friend of Franz Josef Strauss and development minister. He became Helmut Kohl’s government spokesman in April 1989.  It was job he called: “The worst suicide mission to which I have ever gotten myself into.” After the Berlin Wall carbon let his chancellery minister Rudolf Seiter inform the media. ”

We need more charmers like him in politics.

 

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Aberdeen Woman Decorates Dog Poos With Strawberries And Cream

poo aberdeen Aberdeen Woman Decorates Dog Poos With Strawberries And Cream

WHEN THERESA Ritchie spots a dog poo on an Aberdeen street she decorates it in strawberries and cream, or icing sugar and Nutella, which she keeps in her handbag.

Theresa says:

“People in Peterhead are regularly stepping on dog mess on the pavements. I wanted to highlight the problem in an amusing way. This shows people are watching dog owners who can’t be bothered to clean up after their pets. The food idea has showed that dog poo wasn’t being cleaned up by the council. It sometimes lies on the streets for around eight weeks.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: News, Strange But True | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


These 1970s Onesie Bodysuits Got Men ‘Into Something New’

MEN’S fashion is an endless source of point-and-laugh fun. In this instalment, we hard back to the 1970s, wherein the Onesie For Him was knocking them bandy in the boardroom and bedroom.

Do say: With your Onesie, you look macho and more ready for action than an aroused Playgirl stud. Nice moustache.

Don’t say: Ha-ha. It’s a babygro, you muppet!

 

Screen shot 2014 04 01 at 08.19.36 These 1970s Onesie Bodysuits Got Men Into Something New

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Fashion, Flashback | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Spoonfuls of Horror: The Worst Breakfast Cereals Of All Time

tumblr lqcx4blRHc1qkzq2g Spoonfuls of Horror: The Worst Breakfast Cereals Of All Time

 

THE worst cereal of all time, for me, has always been Grape-Nuts (AKA aquarium gravel). Yet, as I grew older, I actually came to like these granular pellets which look like they belong at the bottom of a fish tank. Tastes evolve.

I say this to underscore the fact that this list is purely subjective. Yet, it’s still fun to poke through the vast arrays of breakfast cereals from years past and single out the worst of the worst. I apologize up front if I am besmirching your cherished childhood favorite, but it simply must be done.   And so here they are – the definitive list of the absolute worst breakfast cereals of all time (in no particular order). Enjoy.

 

1. Triple Snack (1963)

I’m not sure about the idea of roasted peanuts in cereal. Almonds are fine, but you start tossing roasted peanuts into the mix, and things get weird.

 

2. Pink Panther Flakes (1973)

The corn flakes were bubblegum colored, which is bad enough, but the cereal became notorious for rapidly losing its color. Almost as soon as the milk hit the flakes, the bubblegum color ran off, leaving behind soggy albino flakes. Your breakfast started so full of promise, with the brilliant pink hue signaling good tidings ahead. Fast forward a few seconds, and you’re eating your soggy albino flakes in quiet disappointment.

 

3. Donkey Kong (1982)

The taste was not bad; it was the texture that presented problems. Many will recall the “barrels’ scraped the roof of your mouth like a mouthful of broken glass. To be fair, after repeated spoonfuls, your throat and mouth would swell and become inflamed enough to no longer feel the sharp pain. So, enjoying the cereal wasn’t entirely impossible.

 

4. Punch Crunch

“Little pink rings with a big pink flavor just like fruit punch… a dandy part of a nutritious breakfast.”

At what stage of desperation do you have to be in to attempt a punch flavored cereal? Was Captain Crunch suffering from scurvy when he concocted this vitamin C inspired cereal? It would seem to be the only rational explanation.

 

5. Sir Grapefellow (1972)

There are just certain flavors that don’t belong in a cold milk cereal. Thus, as much as we may happen to like bacon and pizza, it doesn’t mean they will make for good cereal flavorings. Someone should have told General Mills that grapes fall into that same category.

 

 

6. Corn Flakes with Instant Bananas (1964)

 

25f0cf8b e094 4fb6 8e62 d8b17ecb63b8 Spoonfuls of Horror: The Worst Breakfast Cereals Of All Time
This one was discontinued in ’66 due to problems with the preservation and freeze drying of the bananas. Apparently, Kellog’s hadn’t yet perfected the fancy carcinogenic preservatives and dyes we all take for granted today. Upon the addition of milk, the “bananas” turned into shriveled bits of brown before your very eyes. Had the box prepared consumers and perhaps been labeled “Corn Flakes with Shriveled Bits of Brown” instead, things might’ve been different.

 

 

7. Smurf Berry Crunch

Aside from the fact that many recall a distinct iodide smell, the primary problem was what happened after it was consumed. Evidently, Smurf Berry Crunch turned your poop a brilliant purple. While that may have been a “plus” to many consumers; for most, violet poop was an unwanted side effect.

 

 

8. Norman (1971)

 

923 4767 ucp Spoonfuls of Horror: The Worst Breakfast Cereals Of All Time
Very little information remains beyond first-hand accounts. Most will tell you that this BUTTER flavored cereal was the most revolting thing they’ve ever eaten. It basically amounted to small crunchy butter flavored balls which in no way went nicely with cold milk. Those unfortunate enough to have experienced this breakfast horror tell the story as one would recount a grisly battle – with hushed somber tones, a vacant stare, and an expression that belies the tragedy of it all. Our deepest respect to the poor souls who took a spoonful of Norman to their lips and lived to tell the tale.

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Unreleased Material Tragedy: Michael Jackson’s Rubbish Offcuts of Offal Pop Anyone?

michael jackson Unreleased Material Tragedy: Michael Jacksons Rubbish Offcuts of Offal Pop Anyone?

 

WHAT happens when a musician dies? They get a TV special and a ‘Best Of’. Eventually, they’ll get a musical too, possibly written by Ben Elton or Jennifer Saunders.

Between those, they’ll have their crypt ransacked by music industry CEOs with white ponytails sticking out of the back of their thinning heads. That’s right. Pop deaths mean Unreleased Material Time!

UMT sees tracks that weren’t finished or deemed too poor to be issued in the artist’s lifetime, stuck onto albums that no-one pays for anymore, possibly with a guest rap from Pitbull or something involving a children’s choir. Failing that, just get a load of no-marks to remix a load of stuff you like into something you like considerably less.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2014 | In: Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


1970: Kate O’Mara And Keith Prowse Horror of Frankenstein Playing Cards

YOU can buy Horror of Frankenstein playing cards, reliving the  Hammer House of Horror 1970 blood and babes fest in the comfort of your own game of Patience.

 

 

Screen shot 2014 03 31 at 18.47.56 1970: Kate OMara And Keith Prowse Horror of Frankenstein Playing Cards

 

 

There are cards featuring the late Hammer House of Horror sex symbol Kate O’Mara and ‘Green Cross Caode Man’ / ‘Darth Vader’ Keith Prowse.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Copyright Law Result: Tonight We’re Going To Legally Burn CDs Like It’s 1999

PA 7049533 Copyright Law Result: Tonight Were Going To Legally Burn CDs Like Its 1999

Disc jockey Gregg Whiteside loads a disc into a compact disc player at WOXR radio station in New York, Wednesday, Feb. 15, 1989. Whiteside says he uses CDs for 95 percent of the music he plays because “the sound is beautifully clean.” LP sales are falling drastically while the compact disc’s popularity is soaring. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)
Date: 15/02/1989

 

GOOD news people from the past! You can now burn CDs and DVDs for personal use and no-one is going to send you to a jail to be beaten into a Spam fritter by an inmate with hands so large that each finger has it’s own rib cage!

That’s right; the incredibly up-to-date government has put through some legislation to update copyright law which means, from June 1st, people in the UK will be at their ease when copying music music and media purchased on one device, but intended for use on another.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Everything You Heard About Climate Change Is Wrong

TODAY’S the lovely day we all find out how we’re going to fry in that latest report from the IPCC. You know, the scientific consensus on how climate change is doing damage to the planet and what it is that we might do about it. And what we all get told about what we ought to do about it is entirely wrong.

I mean all of that stuff that comes from The Guardian, Green Party, Greenpeace, Friends of the Earth and so on. You know the damn mantra. we must grow more of our own food, stop this horrible market based economy, plan to make things better, stop doing all this globalisation stuff.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: Money, News | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Huge PVC Whale Banned From London Park For Being Too Religious

jonah london Huge PVC Whale Banned From London Park For Being Too Religious

 

KIDS can strike off climbing inside a  5oft PVC whale from their list of holiday days out. It’s a matter of billing. When the whale beached in the park opposite Tower Bridge was part of a pirate adventure, it was fit for purpose. Pirates who slit your throat and rape your granny are good wholesome fun. Moreover, their pet whales.

But when the whale was reused to illustrate the Bible story of Jonah, it was deemed morally wrong. The brains at the Potters Fields Park Management Trust, which runs the site, say the whale is now too religious.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, March 2014 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0