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Paul Sorene | Anorak - Part 4

Paul Sorene - Author Archive

Brexit: ‘traitor’ Tony Blair readies France to invade the UK in 45 minutes

“Et Voila! There’s your withdrawal agreement, Britishers!”

Look out for the air and sea invasion. Tony Blair has been advising France’s President Macron on ways to beat the Brits in Brexit … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

After the Jack Grealish attack: it’s time all footballers were armed

Fire at will!

After Aston Villa’s Jack Grealish was attacked by a Birmingham City fan during Sunday’s derby at St. Andrew’s, reaction was swift. The idiot was jailed for 14 weeks.

Sky Sports … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Sports | Comment

Manchester City: how much compensation can a club owned by trillionaires afford to pay victims of sexual abuse?

The star maker – Barry Bennell

Former Manchester City youth coach Barry Bennell abused children at the club and at Crewe Alexandra between 1979 and 1990. He is serving a 31-year … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Manchester City, News, Sports | Comment

Michael Jackson: beat him and burn him but don’t miss the Wacko Jacko exhibition at The Tate

Michael Jackson fan Seany O’Kane displays a message of support

No-one’s dug Michael Jackson up and beaten the corpse with sticks. Nor have they set his remains alight – and given … (read more)

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, TV & Radio | Comment

Transfer balls: Zidane to Real Madrid, but Spurs boss on shortlist

The big football news on the BBC’s website is that Zinedine Zidane “is set to return as Real Madrid manager just 10 months after leaving the Spanish giants”. Wowzer! That … (read more)

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Back pages, Sports, Spurs | Comment

Preparing for Cheltenham with Kayley Woollacott

Kayley Woollacott became a National Hunt trainer after her husband, Richard, who took his own life in January 2018. She guided Lalor to a debut win over fences in their … (read more)

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Sports | Comment

Woman offers umbrella to Python eating a wallaby

“I was driving back up the drive and glanced back across the paddock and saw something big and thought ‘oh no, I don’t like the look of this’,” says Miss … (read more)

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment

Found: the first recorded use of the word ‘Fuck’

“It would be impossible to imagine going through life without swearing, and without enjoying swearing,” says Stephen Fry.  What’s good for him was good, too, for a 1528 monk., whose … (read more)

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment

Biased BBC: John McDonnell is Fleabag on BBC News

More questions over the dreaded mainstream media’s treatment of Jeremy Corbyn and his comrades after last night’s BBC News at Ten used an image of shadow chancellor John McDonnell to … (read more)

Posted: 11th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment

Corbyn’s Blue Period: Laura Murray, Minted Aristocrats and a £50m Picasso

Gabriel Pogrund has huge news. A scoop! “EXCLUSIVE: The mystery of who sold Picasso’s “Child with a Dove” for £50M in 2013, one of the most expensive artworks ever, is … (read more)

Posted: 10th, March 2019 | In: Money, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment

Spurs balls: Son on marriage and a childhood of marathon keepy-uppy sessions

No running a pub in the New Forest or stints sat on the Sky Sports sofas for Tottenham and South Korea forward Son Heung-min, 26, after he hangs up his … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2019 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment

Shamima Begum to get Duke of Edinburgh gold award

Aid workers and refugees were in mourning today at the news that a child has died in a refugee camp. “We’re inconsolable,” says Farida Agha, a Yazidi woman living in … (read more)

Posted: 9th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Shamima Begum: the baby is alive, dead and possibly British

Facts: zero. News: lots

Shamima Begum is back in the news because her lawyer, Tasnime Akunjee, has “told the Guardian”: “We have strong but as yet unconfirmed reports that Shamima Begum’s … (read more)

Posted: 8th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Chelsea balls: Sarri not sacked (day 236)

If you get your news from the Daily Mirror, the shocking realisation is that Maurizio Sarri is still the Chelsea manager. He was not sacked when Chelsea lost the Carabao … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2019 | In: Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Billionaire with Short Man Syndrome dies in penis enlargement operation

Sometimes enough is enough. He was 65. What a schmuck. Not a big one – well, not as big as he wanted to be. But rest well Ehud Arye Laniado, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment

Watch Donald Trump call Apple CEO Tim Cook ‘Tim Apple’

Donald Trump capped a meeting with Apple CEO Tim Cook by referring him as “Tim Apple”. And nobody in the room – not one person – laughed.

Nobody in the room … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2019 | In: News, Politicians, Technology | Comment

Spurs and Liverpool fans: Klopp, Pochettino and Mourinho ‘almost 100%’ certain to get Real Madrid job

The BBC says former Chelsea and Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is “almost 100% certain” to rejoin Real Madrid this summer. In 2013, Mourinho left Real to return to Chelsea. … (read more)

Posted: 7th, March 2019 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Spurs | Comment

Jeremy Corbyn ally accused of defending blatant anti-Semitism

More on Jeremy Corbyn and his problem with Jews and anti-semitism in his version of the Labour Party. The Times says an ally of the Labour leader’s blocked the suspension … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Madeleine McCann: Netflix and Maddie Podcast in ratings battle

Netflix and chill to the Maddie McCann documentary soon-to-be streamed to your living rooms. It’ll be a show that tugs hard on the single-thread story: child vanishes. What light it … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News | Comment

TSA stops man with rocket-propelled grenade launcher in bags

To Pennsylvania airport, where a traveller is being met by the traditional refrain “Anything to declare, sir?” Yes and no. He does have a rocket-propelled grenade launcher in his bags. … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment

Man escapes guilty verdict by not swearing an oath on the Bible

Flashbak to a courtroom in Camden County, New Jersey. It’s 2011. Dr. Abbas Husain is being found guilty of sexual harassment. He’s a Hindu and didn’t place his hand on … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment

Knife Crime UK: Government calls in RAF; Javid declares state of National Emergency; Cressida Dick and shoot to kill

Home Secretary Sajid Javid says the country is in a state of “national emergency” over knife crime, or what is now universally referred to as the “knife crime epidemic”. Last … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: News | Comment

Transfer balls: Overmars and Matthijs in; vote Mustafi out

Arsenal fans get to feel the warmth of a rosy-fingered dawn as news hits the cycle of Ajax director of football Marc Overmars’ return to the Gunners. And that’s not … (read more)

Posted: 6th, March 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Ilan Omar: the Left knows a Muslim woman can’t be an anti-Semite

Ilhan Omar is the Somali-American elected to a seat in the US congress. She is noticeable by her hijab, a rare sight in Congress. This Democrat is also making headlines … (read more)

Posted: 5th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Jeremy Corbyn and the egging: what really happened

This is not an egg

John Murphy, the man accused of assaulting Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn, has been talking. He tells the Guido Fawkes blog:

“Yesterday I squished an egg … (read more)

Posted: 5th, March 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

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