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Ugly Truths

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.

And if it can’t … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sayer’s Rotten Underpants

“I’VE always been a tilter of lances against authority,” says Celebrity Big Brother escapee Leo Sayer.

Though not obvious at the time, Sayer’s immortal lyric “I wanna dance the night away” … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Urban’s Tub Of Love

“KEITH CHEATED ON NICOLE WITH ME.”

More Urban myths – or truths – as the Enquirer catches up with Amanda Wyatt, a 23-year-old blonde.

“I feel sorry for Nicole,” says Amanda, who … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Britney & Beckham

DAVID Beckham confessed that he sought advice from his girlfriend, Tom Cruise, before accepting the $1 million a week to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Becks said, “I was on … (read more)

Posted: 14th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

David Beckham Saves Us All

EVERY new musical age pushes the boundaries back a little further.

And for punk rockers gobbing at their fans, we introduce the popstar vomit.

The Mirror raised an umbrella and looked on … (read more)

Posted: 13th, January 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Pete Doherty’s Scrambled Eggs

PETE Doherty is no longer under arrest. But he has been.

With Prince Harry and his blonde safely restored to the palace, police are able to turn their attention to the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Chelsy Davy – We Have You Surrounded

ROBBERS, burglars and Pete Doherty take note – if you want to avoid arrest best check the Royals’ social diary before going out.

Having already spotted Prince William’s paramour Kate Middleton … (read more)

Posted: 13th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

Balance Of Payments

AS David and the Beckhams head to the United States, their departure creates some space in the UK.

Not that the Beckhams are the only Brits seeking their fortunes out West. … (read more)

Posted: 12th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Distend It Like Beckham

DAVID Beckham explains why he has signed a £128million deal that will see him end his playing days in the United States.

Says Day-vid in the Sun: “Soccer in America is … (read more)

Posted: 12th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

War With The Birds

“I WAS CRIPPLED BY A PARROT.”

It was never going to be easy following “KATE ‘N’ PETE’S 3-IN-BED ROMP WITH TOM CAT”, the Star’s front-runner in Headline Of The Year. But … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

(White) Trashing Jade

Trashing Celebrity Big Brother

GOODBYE Jackiey.

You came to pick up your daughter from a friend’s house party, embarrassed her and left. Many parents have done it.

But why did Jackiey leave so … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Spooks In Your Inbox

War on terror – SMS alert…

FROM tomorrow (Tuesday), MI5 is offering a new service.

MI5 is to send emails alerting the public to the prospect of an imminent terror attack. From tomorrow, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

The Man For Atlantis

“EUROPE: the future. This is how global warming will ravage the continent, reveals the EU.”

The Independent leads with a map. It is a picture of the European Unions surrounded by … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Ron(aldo) Atkinson

GEMMA Atkinson is the 22nd sexiest babe in the world, according to the Star’s knowing readership.

Gemma is sexier than Jade Goody (36), Imogen Thomas (40) and Paris Hilton (5449). Gemma … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)

Anyone Seen Suri?

SINCE Suri Cruise’s birth we have hardly seen her.

She did do a photospread for Vanity Fair and was a familiar face when the couple wed in Italy, but she has … (read more)

Posted: 10th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Action Men

TIRED of the War On Terror?

If you are, It is understandable. This war, as with all wars, was supposed to be over Christmas. But that has been and gone. And … (read more)

Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Celebrity Big Brother’s F***in’ Squillel

HAS anyone seen a fuckin’ squillel in the Celebrity Big Brother house?

It was there a moment ago. That grandmother was holding it up and talking about it. It was made … (read more)

Posted: 9th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Celebrity Big Brother Burns

Celebrity Big Brother burns…

“MY wild sex with Leo missus as he played ping pong.”

As kinky sex goes, the tale of Celebrity Big Brother escapee Donny Tourette and Leo Sayer’s wife … (read more)

Posted: 8th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kate Moss & Pete Doherty’s Wedding; Heather Mills Kicks Out; Kate Middleton Is Being Watched..

Kate Moss & Pete Doherty’s wedding; Heather Mills kicks out; Kate Middleton is being watched..  

KATE Moss and Pete Doherty exchanged “High dos”.

With 2007 in its infancy, the Sun drew its readers’ … (read more)

Posted: 7th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Cupid’s Arrows

“GETTING the drinks is all part of and parcel of being a DWAG and I enjoy helping out and being there for him.”

The unmistakable voice of Gill O’Shea, lager wallah … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment

Geraldo Finally Euthanized

THE only surprise is that it’s taken this long: Twentieth Television’s Geraldo at Large has been canceled at last.

The show’s staff got word today that production will shut down in … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Desperate Hollywoodisms

QUOTE: A little bit of ‘Desperate Housewives’ meets ‘Father Knows Best.’” Billy Campbell, president of Discovery Networks, in the New York Times.

Figure of Speech: Hollywoodism, a form of periphrasis (per-IH-phra-sis), … (read more)

Posted: 6th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Showing Signs Of Stain

ONE full day into the Celebrity Big Brother house and signs of Jermaine Jackson falling apart.

The Mail has a picture of the Jackson sporting a strip of tape across the … (read more)

Posted: 5th, January 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Far From Oche

Ashes to ashes and darts to Holland…

“GODS of the game, super-beings of darts, commanders who would make Napoleon look like a private.”

Sid Waddell, the voice of darts, the man who … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2007 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)

David Gest 2007 Pin Up Calendar

FLIPPING through one of my beloved Star magazines while on vacation, I came across a titillating photo of David Gest washed up on the beach.

His cottage-cheese-in-a-ziplock-bag physique spills onto the sand … (read more)

Posted: 4th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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